[quote='Ophelia
That was just rude. My TV is on all the time when I'm alone, but is
off when I have company. [/QUOTE]

Well guess some of us have a different story to tell. I was always listed as Does not Make Friends Easy..Does not Play well with others. This was wrote on the report card since 2nd grade. About Five mins around live humans I start getting nervous and bored. Run out of witty stuff to say etc. Its a great time to either start drinking and crank up the juke box (first preference) or watch Sponge Bob on TV etc. Sponge Bob is reserved for churchy guests. I can play 42 when the Church of Christ folks come calling. Playing 88 with Lutherans can be dangerous. If you throw the wrong rock sometimes the elderly ladies will drag their pard across the table and give them a biotch slap. Things get complicated past 40.

S Viemeister wrote:
>gtr wrote:
>> S Viemeister said:
>>> Ophelia wrote:
>>>
>>>> A couple of months ago we were invited to a neighbour's house for an
>>>> evening. They kept the tv on for the entire time! Turned very low but,
>>>> I found it really hard to relax and just chat. It was a large screen
>>>> too
>>>> and it just dominated the room Tbh, lovely people though they are,
>>>> I doubt we will spend an evening there with them again.
>>>>
>>> That sort of thing drives me up the wall. I was taught that it was
>>> rude to leave the TV on when guests arrived.
>>
>> I simply ask people to turn it off, and they always oblige.
>>
>I would never do that, as a guest in someone's home.

You need to grow a pair. If they'd rather watch TV you're not a guest
in their home, you're an intrusion. Were I invited to someone's home
where they'd rather watch TV I'd make an early departure and never
accept another of their invites.

On 2/7/2013 8:56 PM, Brooklyn1 wrote:
> S Viemeister wrote:
>> gtr wrote:
>>> S Viemeister said:
>>>> Ophelia wrote:
>>>>> A couple of months ago we were invited to a neighbour's house for an
>>>>> evening. They kept the tv on for the entire time! Turned very low but,
>>>>> I found it really hard to relax and just chat. It was a large screen
>>>>> too and it just dominated the room Tbh, lovely people though they are,
>>>>> I doubt we will spend an evening there with them again.
>>>>>
>>>> That sort of thing drives me up the wall. I was taught that it was
>>>> rude to leave the TV on when guests arrived.
>>>
>>> I simply ask people to turn it off, and they always oblige.
>>>
>> I would never do that, as a guest in someone's home.
>
> You need to grow a pair. If they'd rather watch TV you're not a guest
> in their home, you're an intrusion. Were I invited to someone's home
> where they'd rather watch TV I'd make an early departure and never
> accept another of their invites.
>
I would certainly try to find an excuse to leave early - but the
rudeness of a TV-addicted host, does not make it okay for _me_ to be
equally rude.

On Thu, 07 Feb 2013 21:17:37 -0500, S Viemeister
> wrote:

>On 2/7/2013 8:56 PM, Brooklyn1 wrote:
>> S Viemeister wrote:
>>> gtr wrote:
>>>> S Viemeister said:
>>>>> Ophelia wrote:
>>>>>> A couple of months ago we were invited to a neighbour's house for an
>>>>>> evening. They kept the tv on for the entire time! Turned very low but,
>>>>>> I found it really hard to relax and just chat. It was a large screen
>>>>>> too and it just dominated the room Tbh, lovely people though they are,
>>>>>> I doubt we will spend an evening there with them again.
>>>>>>
>>>>> That sort of thing drives me up the wall. I was taught that it was
>>>>> rude to leave the TV on when guests arrived.
>>>>
>>>> I simply ask people to turn it off, and they always oblige.
>>>>
>>> I would never do that, as a guest in someone's home.
>>
>> You need to grow a pair. If they'd rather watch TV you're not a guest
>> in their home, you're an intrusion. Were I invited to someone's home
>> where they'd rather watch TV I'd make an early departure and never
>> accept another of their invites.
>>
>I would certainly try to find an excuse to leave early - but the
>rudeness of a TV-addicted host, does not make it okay for _me_ to be
>equally rude.

There is nothing rude about saying nothing about the blaring TV and
making an early departure... that's called tact.

gtr wrote:
> On 2013-02-07 23:15:01 +0000, S Viemeister said:
>
> I find as a guest in another's home they are usually quite eager to
> provide what I consider "hospitality", and whenever something is
> particularlyi problematic I have no problems asking politely. Politely is
> the key to both the give and the take in this and all
> other such situations. It works very well, too!

I have been to people's houses when they just watch TV like they normally
would. But in such cases it isn't a planned visit. Like when my daughter
was young and wanted to stop by to play. That doesn't bother me. It does
bother me when they specifically invite me over and then are glued to the
TV.

My parents would annoy me like this. Tell us to come over and then glue
themselves to their computers. They would tell daughter and I to put the TV
on and watch something. And although we both like the TV on, we simply can
not glue ourselves to it like I've seen other people do. We have it on but
we have to be doing something else as well. So we wind up getting insanely
bored and just want to leave!

Thankfully that is not the case at the moment. My dad is now in that adult
family home and when we do go to visit we normally play games. We don't
spend my time at my mom's house now unless she needs us to do something for
her.

On 2/7/2013 7:26 PM, gtr wrote:
> On 2013-02-07 23:15:01 +0000, S Viemeister said:
>
>> On 2/7/2013 4:48 PM, gtr wrote:
>>> On 2013-02-07 18:23:32 +0000, S Viemeister said:
>>>
>>>> On 2/7/2013 1:13 PM, Ophelia wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> A couple of months ago we were invited to a neighbour's house for an
>>>>> evening. They kept the tv on for the entire time! Turned very low
>>>>> but,
>>>>> I found it really hard to relax and just chat. It was a large screen
>>>>> too
>>>>> and it just dominated the room Tbh, lovely people though they are,
>>>>> I doubt we will spend an evening there with them again.
>>>>>
>>>> That sort of thing drives me up the wall. I was taught that it was
>>>> rude to leave the TV on when guests arrived.
>>>
>>> I simply ask people to turn it off, and they always oblige.
>>>
>> I would never do that, as a guest in someone's home.
>
> I find as a guest in another's home they are usually quite eager to
> provide what I consider "hospitality", and whenever something is
> particularlyi problematic I have no problems asking politely. Politely
> is the key to both the give and the take in this and all other such
> situations. It works very well, too!

I think you probably just catch them off guard, and of course they're
not going to say no, and probably talk about you when you leave.

On 2/7/2013 7:45 PM, bigwheel wrote:
> 'Ophelia
> That was just rude. My TV is on all the time when I'm alone, but is
> off when I have company. [/QUOTE Wrote:
>>
>>
>> Well guess some of us have a different story to tell. I was always
>> listed as Does not Make Friends Easy..Does not Play well with others.
>> This was wrote on the report card since 2nd grade. About Five mins
>> around live humans I start getting nervous and bored. Run out of witty
>> stuff to say etc. Its a great time to either start drinking and crank up
>> the juke box (first preference) or watch Sponge Bob on TV etc. Sponge
>> Bob is reserved for churchy guests. I can play 42 when the Church of
>> Christ folks come calling. Playing 88 with Lutherans can be dangerous.
>> If you throw the wrong rock sometimes the elderly ladies will drag their
>> pard across the table and give them a biotch slap. Things get
>> complicated past 40.
>
>
>
>
Hey dumbass. Since you can't quote properly, you should know O didn't
write that which you gave her the attribution.

On 2/7/2013 7:41 PM, Julie Bove wrote:
> jmcquown wrote:
>> That's the whole point if you like, as I do, both the breeze and the
>> "white noise" from the fan running.
>
> Ah... White noise! Now *that* drives me up a wall! My dad used to tell me
> about white noise and some machine that they made to put it out. But he
> also told me that all I had to do was turn my radio so that it was between
> stations and it would be white noise. Very unsettling to me. I also can't
> stand it if the radio is not getting good reception. Now when we were kids,
> we used to move the radio dial up and down in the middle of the night and
> try to get the station that was as far away as we could find. Pricking our
> ears to hear like that and doing it on purpose was fine. But to have the
> radio on in my vehicle while going down the road and having it on a station
> that isn't quite coming in? Bugs the heck out of me. Unless perhaps we
> have to hear the news or something like that.
>
>
White noise can also be something like a bubbling brook, softly chirping
birds. These are sometimes tapes or CDs made to create soft noise in the
background to help you sleep or relax. It isn't static.

Cheryl wrote:
> On 2/7/2013 7:41 PM, Julie Bove wrote:
>> jmcquown wrote:
>>> That's the whole point if you like, as I do, both the breeze and the
>>> "white noise" from the fan running.
>>
>> Ah... White noise! Now *that* drives me up a wall! My dad used to
>> tell me about white noise and some machine that they made to put it
>> out. But he also told me that all I had to do was turn my radio so
>> that it was between stations and it would be white noise. Very
>> unsettling to me. I also can't stand it if the radio is not getting
>> good reception. Now when we were kids, we used to move the radio
>> dial up and down in the middle of the night and try to get the
>> station that was as far away as we could find. Pricking our ears to
>> hear like that and doing it on purpose was fine. But to have the
>> radio on in my vehicle while going down the road and having it on a
>> station that isn't quite coming in? Bugs the heck out of me. Unless
>> perhaps we have to hear the news or something like that.
> White noise can also be something like a bubbling brook, softly
> chirping birds. These are sometimes tapes or CDs made to create soft
> noise in the background to help you sleep or relax. It isn't static.

Those are exactly the things that bother me. The sound of running water
makes me want to pee. The sound of birds makes me want to shoot them. Even
though I never would. I am an animal lover. But some places where I've
lived, we had a bird that seemed to know only one note. That sort of noise
does not make me relax at all.

On 2013-02-08 04:10:22 +0000, Cheryl said:

>> I find as a guest in another's home they are usually quite eager to
>> provide what I consider "hospitality", and whenever something is
>> particularlyi problematic I have no problems asking politely. Politely
>> is the key to both the give and the take in this and all other such
>> situations. It works very well, too!
>
> I think you probably just catch them off guard, and of course they're
> not going to say no, and probably talk about you when you leave.

When I have the opportunity to make wild speculation about your
friends, I'll try to get my licks in. In the meantime, asking them to
turn off a tv, turn down the music and all manner of stuff certainly
never bothers them: When they ask me similar things, I never have any
difficulties providing: I specifically want them to have a good time!
Similarly I don't need to carp behind their back when they leave. If
they irk me, I carp right then. But again, the "politely" thing works
out real well. Try it!

The other night we had some white and red wine out for guests. But one
guy asked for a martini, I made him one. Then two others saw it and
wanted one. So I stook there and made cocktails for a half hour. I was
glad to make them. We seem to have a shared vision of what
"hospitality" means, my friends and I.

"gtr" > wrote in message news:2013020713480134725-xxx@yyyzzz...
> On 2013-02-07 18:23:32 +0000, S Viemeister said:
>
>> On 2/7/2013 1:13 PM, Ophelia wrote:
>>
>>> A couple of months ago we were invited to a neighbour's house for an
>>> evening. They kept the tv on for the entire time! Turned very low but,
>>> I found it really hard to relax and just chat. It was a large screen
>>> too
>>> and it just dominated the room Tbh, lovely people though they are,
>>> I doubt we will spend an evening there with them again.
>>>
>> That sort of thing drives me up the wall. I was taught that it was rude
>> to leave the TV on when guests arrived.
>
> I simply ask people to turn it off, and they always oblige.

Oh I couldn't do that

--
--
http://www.shop.helpforheroes.org.uk/

"Brooklyn1" > wrote in message
...
> S Viemeister wrote:
>>gtr wrote:
>>> S Viemeister said:
>>>> Ophelia wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> A couple of months ago we were invited to a neighbour's house for an
>>>>> evening. They kept the tv on for the entire time! Turned very low
>>>>> but,
>>>>> I found it really hard to relax and just chat. It was a large screen
>>>>> too
>>>>> and it just dominated the room Tbh, lovely people though they are,
>>>>> I doubt we will spend an evening there with them again.
>>>>>
>>>> That sort of thing drives me up the wall. I was taught that it was
>>>> rude to leave the TV on when guests arrived.
>>>
>>> I simply ask people to turn it off, and they always oblige.
>>>
>>I would never do that, as a guest in someone's home.
>
> You need to grow a pair. If they'd rather watch TV you're not a guest
> in their home, you're an intrusion. Were I invited to someone's home
> where they'd rather watch TV I'd make an early departure and never
> accept another of their invites.

No, they weren't watching it. It was just on and the sound very low. The
were chatting to us all the time and never once watching the tv. Had they
been watching it, I would have made an excuse and we would have left. Other
than the tv being on, it was a most enjoyable visit.

--
--
http://www.shop.helpforheroes.org.uk/

"gtr" > wrote in message news:2013020722320214077-xxx@yyyzzz...
>
> The other night we had some white and red wine out for guests. But one
> guy asked for a martini, I made him one. Then two others saw it and
> wanted one. So I stook there and made cocktails for a half hour. I was
> glad to make them. We seem to have a shared vision of what "hospitality"
> means, my friends and I.

The people I was talking about are not exactly 'friends'. They are friendly
neighbours. With our real friends I would have no hesitation in asking for
something. This thread has gone from me describing an evening with
neighbours who had the tv on but the sound very low and they were not paying
any attention to it - to us having to sit there with the tv blaring out and
being forced to watch it

--
--
http://www.shop.helpforheroes.org.uk/

On 2/8/2013 5:28 AM, Ophelia wrote:
> "gtr" > wrote
>> S Viemeister said:
>>> On 2/7/2013 1:13 PM, Ophelia wrote:
>>>
>>>> A couple of months ago we were invited to a neighbour's house for an
>>>> evening. They kept the tv on for the entire time! Turned very low but,
>>>> I found it really hard to relax and just chat. It was a large screen too
>>>> and it just dominated the room Tbh, lovely people though they are,
>>>> I doubt we will spend an evening there with them again.
>>>>
>>> That sort of thing drives me up the wall. I was taught that it was rude
>>> to leave the TV on when guests arrived.
>>
>> I simply ask people to turn it off, and they always oblige.
>
> Oh I couldn't do that
>
Nor could I.

On 2013-02-08 10:29:10 +0000, Ophelia said:

> No, they weren't watching it. It was just on and the sound very low. The
> were chatting to us all the time and never once watching the tv. Had they
> been watching it, I would have made an excuse and we would have left. Other
> than the tv being on, it was a most enjoyable visit.

I'm sorry, I don't follow the logic that has turning to TV off become a
violation of some kind of social norm. But then maybe you're talking
about attending something with co-workers or the bereaved, I don't know.

I don't know from hanging out with "not exactly friends" and a TV. As
I ponder this further it occurs to me that none of my friends have the
TV on, regardless of the sound level, when friends are over, unless we
are watching a DVD or a movie as a group, which is quite the rarity.

We entertain a lot and our friends do too. But then they are friends,
not something else. So for my unique situation, asking someone to turn
off the TV never happens because it's not on. Like just as impossible
for others but not a problem at all is the music which a number of
people have playing on a stereo. If it's too loud, someone asks it be
turned down, or be changed if it's too "peppy" or turgid or something.

On a number of occasions in discussion groups (my movie group), people
have asked it be turned off. It is, and amazingly without a great deal
of angst, hand-wringing, negotiation--none of that!

But then most of my friends don't really watch a lot of TV though we do
a lot of reading. I suppose that's now officially "elistist", reading
books.

[quote='Cheryl Hey dumbass. Since you can't quote properly, you should know O didn't write that which you gave her the attribution.[/QUOTE]

Thanks Sweetie.

"gtr" > wrote in message news:2013020807360671161-xxx@yyyzzz...
> On 2013-02-08 10:29:10 +0000, Ophelia said:
>
>> No, they weren't watching it. It was just on and the sound very low.
>> The
>> were chatting to us all the time and never once watching the tv. Had
>> they
>> been watching it, I would have made an excuse and we would have left.
>> Other
>> than the tv being on, it was a most enjoyable visit.
>
> I'm sorry, I don't follow the logic that has turning to TV off become a
> violation of some kind of social norm. But then maybe you're talking
> about attending something with co-workers or the bereaved, I don't know.
>
> I don't know from hanging out with "not exactly friends" and a TV. As I
> ponder this further it occurs to me that none of my friends have the TV
> on, regardless of the sound level, when friends are over, unless we are
> watching a DVD or a movie as a group, which is quite the rarity.
>
> We entertain a lot and our friends do too. But then they are friends, not
> something else. So for my unique situation, asking someone to turn off
> the TV never happens because it's not on. Like just as impossible for
> others but not a problem at all is the music which a number of people have
> playing on a stereo. If it's too loud, someone asks it be turned down, or
> be changed if it's too "peppy" or turgid or something.
>
> On a number of occasions in discussion groups (my movie group), people
> have asked it be turned off. It is, and amazingly without a great deal of
> angst, hand-wringing, negotiation--none of that!
>
> But then most of my friends don't really watch a lot of TV though we do a
> lot of reading. I suppose that's now officially "elistist", reading
> books.

I don't think i am getting through here A neighbour invited us in for an
evening! Just me and my husband. Nice people. I just made a comment that
they obviously keep their tv on as a matter of course. They are not
particularly friends, just nice neighbours. The sound was not intrusive, it
just seemed odd. We enjoyed our time with them.

--
--
http://www.shop.helpforheroes.org.uk/

On 2013-02-08 17:08:33 +0000, Ophelia said:

> "gtr" > wrote in message news:2013020807360671161-xxx@yyyzzz...
>> On 2013-02-08 10:29:10 +0000, Ophelia said:
>>
>>> No, they weren't watching it. It was just on and the sound very low.
>>> The were chatting to us all the time and never once watching the tv. Had
>>> they been watching it, I would have made an excuse and we would have left.
>>> Other than the tv being on, it was a most enjoyable visit.
>>
>> I'm sorry, I don't follow the logic that has turning to TV off become a
>> violation of some kind of social norm. But then maybe you're talking
>> about attending something with co-workers or the bereaved, I don't know.
>>
>> I don't know from hanging out with "not exactly friends" and a TV. As I
>> ponder this further it occurs to me that none of my friends have the TV
>> on, regardless of the sound level, when friends are over, unless we are
>> watching a DVD or a movie as a group, which is quite the rarity.
>>
>> We entertain a lot and our friends do too. But then they are friends, not
>> something else. So for my unique situation, asking someone to turn off
>> the TV never happens because it's not on. Like just as impossible for
>> others but not a problem at all is the music which a number of people have
>> playing on a stereo. If it's too loud, someone asks it be turned down, or
>> be changed if it's too "peppy" or turgid or something.
>>
>> On a number of occasions in discussion groups (my movie group), people
>> have asked it be turned off. It is, and amazingly without a great deal of
>> angst, hand-wringing, negotiation--none of that!
>>
>> But then most of my friends don't really watch a lot of TV though we do a
>> lot of reading. I suppose that's now officially "elistist", reading
>> books.
>
> I don't think i am getting through here A neighbour invited us in for an
> evening! Just me and my husband. Nice people. I just made a comment that
> they obviously keep their tv on as a matter of course. They are not
> particularly friends, just nice neighbours. The sound was not intrusive, it
> just seemed odd. We enjoyed our time with them.

I think you got through: I moved on to related topics, and my own
perspective about related topics.

In another related topic, I note that one friend wants the music to be
turned off under almost every circumstance. He has a hearing problem.
I'm unsure if in some social circumstances he would just nod and say
smile, hearing nothing or very little, in order to avoid a breach of
social code. I've met others, though, who would do almost anything to
avoid saying "I have hearing problems". Sometimes I think "social code"
can also be considered vanity or timidity when neither have much
practical value.

This concludes my entry into another related topic.

On 2/7/2013 11:17 PM, Cheryl wrote:
> On 2/7/2013 7:41 PM, Julie Bove wrote:
>> jmcquown wrote:
>>> That's the whole point if you like, as I do, both the breeze and the
>>> "white noise" from the fan running.
>>
>> Ah... White noise! Now *that* drives me up a wall! My dad used to
>> tell me
>> about white noise and some machine that they made to put it out. But he
>> also told me that all I had to do was turn my radio so that it was
>> between
>> stations and it would be white noise. Very unsettling to me.
>>
(snippage)
>>
> White noise can also be something like a bubbling brook, softly chirping
> birds. These are sometimes tapes or CDs made to create soft noise in the
> background to help you sleep or relax. It isn't static.
>
Exactly, Cheryl. Not static. Remember the olden days (heh) when
television used to stop broadcasting late at night? No signal on the
channel. That was also called "white noise" but that's not what I'm
talking about when I mention white noise.

Jill

On 2/7/2013 4:08 PM, Gary wrote:
> jmcquown wrote:
>>
>> On 2/7/2013 2:10 AM, Cheri wrote:
>>> I can't stand a quiet room either. I have a noise machine and a fan
>>> going at all times. If the power goes off and they stop, then I wake
>>> immediately.
>>>
>>> Cheri
>>
>> Same here. I tried leaving the television on a boring channel (the
>> weather channel worked for a few days LOL) with the sound very low but
>> the flickering light from the screen bothered me. I have a sound
>> machine and run the ceiling fan. And yes, if the power goes out I wake
>> up instantly.
>>
>> Jill
>
> I'm similar to you two. When I'm home, I love silence. Don't play music or a
> radio.
>
> But when I go to the bedroom at night, I always have a fan on, and a
> low-watt light on, and I always have the tv on all night. The later it
> gets, the lower the tv volume. I mostly read at night, but I still have to
> have the tv on regardless. Yeah, it's dumb. And like both of you said, if
> the power goes out, I will wake right up.
>
> Gary
>
I keep a night light plugged in in the master bath (sink area) off the
bedroom. Don't need more light than that. I run the fan year round.
And I have the sound machine. I've been using one for years.

Those sound machines can run on batteries or electric current. One time
when I went on a trip I packed it in my checked suitcase. When I
arrived at the hotel and unpacked my bag there were stickers notifying
me the bag had been searched. I started laughing. I can only imagine
what they must have thought it was when they saw it on the x-ray machine.

Jill

On 2/7/2013 9:26 PM, Brooklyn1 wrote:
>>>> I would never do that, as a guest in someone's home.
>>> >>
>>> >>You need to grow a pair. If they'd rather watch TV you're not a guest
>>> >>in their home, you're an intrusion. Were I invited to someone's home
>>> >>where they'd rather watch TV I'd make an early departure and never
>>> >>accept another of their invites.
>>> >>
>> >I would certainly try to find an excuse to leave early - but the
>> >rudeness of a TV-addicted host, does not make it okay for_me_ to be
>> >equally rude.
> There is nothing rude about saying nothing about the blaring TV and
> making an early departure... that's called tact.

Sometimes you don't know what to expect. But if you do know they're
going to let the TV dominate the evening, simply don't accept the
invitation. Pretty simple concept.

I went to a few gatherings in the neighborhood over the holidays last
year. I didn't see anyone who was hosting a party have the TV
monopolizing the evening.

Jill

On Fri, 08 Feb 2013 14:24:00 -0500, jmcquown >
wrote:

>On 2/7/2013 9:26 PM, Brooklyn1 wrote:
>>>>> I would never do that, as a guest in someone's home.
>>>> >>
>>>> >>You need to grow a pair. If they'd rather watch TV you're not a guest
>>>> >>in their home, you're an intrusion. Were I invited to someone's home
>>>> >>where they'd rather watch TV I'd make an early departure and never
>>>> >>accept another of their invites.
>>>> >>
>>> >I would certainly try to find an excuse to leave early - but the
>>> >rudeness of a TV-addicted host, does not make it okay for_me_ to be
>>> >equally rude.
>> There is nothing rude about saying nothing about the blaring TV and
>> making an early departure... that's called tact.
>
>Sometimes you don't know what to expect. But if you do know they're
>going to let the TV dominate the evening, simply don't accept the
>invitation. Pretty simple concept.
>
>I went to a few gatherings in the neighborhood over the holidays last
>year. I didn't see anyone who was hosting a party have the TV
>monopolizing the evening.

I get invited to gatherings at peoples homes to watch the "Big Game"
all the time, there was one just recently, I always politely decline.
I let my VFW membership lapse because after the 20 minute
preliminaries (opening ceremony/reading minutes) everyone hustles to
the bar to slug booze, holler at the big screen TV tuned to some
fercocktah sporting event, and scoff down American cheese and bologna
sandwiches made by the women's auxillary. No conversation ensues
beyond the neanderthal hollering at the idiot box.

Ophelia wrote:
>
> "Brooklyn1" wrote:
> > You need to grow a pair. If they'd rather watch TV you're not a guest
> > in their home, you're an intrusion. Were I invited to someone's home
> > where they'd rather watch TV I'd make an early departure and never
> > accept another of their invites.
>
> No, they weren't watching it. It was just on and the sound very low. The
> were chatting to us all the time and never once watching the tv. Had they
> been watching it, I would have made an excuse and we would have left. Other
> than the tv being on, it was a most enjoyable visit.

As usual, RFC takes a simple situation and makes it into a bigger deal than
it really was. When I'm at home, I *always* have my tv on, yet I rarely
actually watch it until evening when I'm alone. It's just a "background
noise" on low volume. Just like having your stereo on at low volume. I
wouldn't actually watch the tv and ignore them. sheez. If a guest here was
actually bold enough to ask me to turn it off, I would do that for them.
After that, I'd get them out asap and never invite them over again.

"When in Rome, do as the Romans do"

G.

"Gary" > wrote in message ...
> Ophelia wrote:
>>
>> "Brooklyn1" wrote:
>> > You need to grow a pair. If they'd rather watch TV you're not a guest
>> > in their home, you're an intrusion. Were I invited to someone's home
>> > where they'd rather watch TV I'd make an early departure and never
>> > accept another of their invites.
>>
>> No, they weren't watching it. It was just on and the sound very low.
>> The
>> were chatting to us all the time and never once watching the tv. Had
>> they
>> been watching it, I would have made an excuse and we would have left.
>> Other
>> than the tv being on, it was a most enjoyable visit.
>
> As usual, RFC takes a simple situation and makes it into a bigger deal
> than
> it really was. When I'm at home, I *always* have my tv on, yet I rarely
> actually watch it until evening when I'm alone. It's just a "background
> noise" on low volume. Just like having your stereo on at low volume. I
> wouldn't actually watch the tv and ignore them. sheez. If a guest here
> was
> actually bold enough to ask me to turn it off, I would do that for them.
> After that, I'd get them out asap and never invite them over again.
>
> "When in Rome, do as the Romans do"

*sigh*

--
--
http://www.shop.helpforheroes.org.uk/

gtr wrote:
>
> But then most of my friends don't really watch a lot of TV though we do
> a lot of reading. I suppose that's now officially "elistist", reading
> books.

I read every night and all night...often waking up in the middle of the
night to continue reading. But I also like the tv to be on, low volume.
funny....even when I just want to read, I still have to find the best tv
show on for background noise. Guess it's because if I take a break from
reading, I can watch a few minutes of some tv show....then go back to
reading and fall asleep again.

Pawn Stars is a great show for background noise when reading.

On 08/02/2013 10:36 AM, gtr wrote:

> I'm sorry, I don't follow the logic that has turning to TV off become a
> violation of some kind of social norm. But then maybe you're talking
> about attending something with co-workers or the bereaved, I don't know.

We don't have a TV in our living room and for years we didn't even have
on in the family room, Our TV is upstairs in .... the TV room. I
suppose it could be called a den since it has a TV, two recliner chairs
and a a desk. About a year and a half ago I got a larger LCD TV and we
moved the old one to my son's old bedroom and last summer I ended up
moving it out to the family room, though we rarely watch it. I am not
charged for the second satellite receiver but that one is not HD.

TV was never a form of entertainment for company when I was a kid and I
feel awkward if I am visiting someone and their TV is on... unless it is
some special event that is being aired and that was the reason for going
there. If I wanted to watch TV I would stay home and watch the program
that I want to watch.



> But then most of my friends don't really watch a lot of TV though we do
> a lot of reading. I suppose that's now officially "elistist", reading
> books.


My son never watched much TV when he was a kid. He spent much more time
reading. He still does. He rarely goes anywhere without a book or two.
He uses public transit to get to and from work and doesn't care about
waiting of the time spent on the bus or subway because it is just extra
reading time for him.

I read only at bed time. I read for an hour or two. If I wake up and
can't get back to sleep I turn on the light and read some more.

On 2013-02-08 21:27:45 +0000, Gary said:

> gtr wrote:
>>
>> But then most of my friends don't really watch a lot of TV though we do
>> a lot of reading. I suppose that's now officially "elistist", reading
>> books.
>
> I read every night and all night...often waking up in the middle of the
> night to continue reading. But I also like the tv to be on, low volume.
> funny....even when I just want to read, I still have to find the best tv
> show on for background noise.

You're free to do anything you like, it's just that I can't understand
why background noise is needed. "I just want it", is a retort, but
doesn't provide me a rationale; I'm not sure what it provides or why.
It's just an abstract curiousity for me, but no one seems to know why
they need it.

But beyond that, you need it enough that you'd get rid of someone who
asked you to tamper with it and never invite them back; I'm sorry that
sounds pretty obsessive.

> Guess it's because if I take a break from reading, I can watch a few
> minutes of some tv show....then go back to reading and fall asleep
> again.
>
> Pawn Stars is a great show for background noise when reading.

I wonder how this noise-intended-for-ignoring from other
noises-intended-for-ignoring.

Noting that Julie purportedly once played the violin, I wonder if there
are any *current* musicians that have a difficulty with
noise-for-ignoring. I've trained myself over a lifetime to listen realy
carefully; maybe that puts me in a different category, one undoubtedly
useful for contempt or disrespect...

On 08/02/2013 4:41 PM, gtr wrote:

>> I read every night and all night...often waking up in the middle of the
>> night to continue reading. But I also like the tv to be on, low volume.
>> funny....even when I just want to read, I still have to find the best tv
>> show on for background noise.
>
> You're free to do anything you like, it's just that I can't understand
> why background noise is needed. "I just want it", is a retort, but
> doesn't provide me a rationale; I'm not sure what it provides or why.
> It's just an abstract curiousity for me, but no one seems to know why
> they need it.

I don't lie background music. If I am listening to music I want it
cranked up loud enough to hear. If I am watching television I want to
watch it, though I might me online too. I do not like TV noise in the
background. My wife likes to listen to the radio in the kitchen when she
is cooking or cleaning. If I go in to help I turn the radio off. If she
insists on it I leave. It is too distracting to me and IMO she gets
distracted too and then we don't work well together in the kitchen.

Sqwertz wrote:
>
> Any doctor should tell you that it's bad to sleep with the TV on. It
> prevents deep sleep since your mind is still processing the sounds and
> lights from the TV. The mind should be fully relaxed while you sleep
> for the maximum physical and psychological benefits of sleep.
>
> That's probably why you're so screwed up in the head

Steve, MY mind is totally screwed up. I sleep with tv on, light on, fan on,
book in hand, and ferret cage in my room so they communicate with me
occasionally too during the night. "Hey Dad, we're a little bit HUNGRY
here....HELLO?"

That said though, I get up no later than 4:30am each morning and I'm very
fine and good to go for the day. I do get enough sleep each night,
surprisingly. I seem to do best on about 5.5 hours of sleep each night. A
little more or less leaves me tired.

Gary

Me neither. There is apparently some type A belligerent Alpha females around here. At least one rude shemale from oz too. I was with the program till it come down to the marital relationships with Wallabies and assorted barnyard avians? Thats sick. If your hosts/hostesses want to watch TV just watch it and shut up. Yall are fixing to give some of the laid back seasoned citizens heart palpitations or similar. Going off to take a pill as we speak. Congrats.

On 2/8/2013 1:32 AM, gtr wrote:
> On 2013-02-08 04:10:22 +0000, Cheryl said:
>
>>> I find as a guest in another's home they are usually quite eager to
>>> provide what I consider "hospitality", and whenever something is
>>> particularlyi problematic I have no problems asking politely. Politely
>>> is the key to both the give and the take in this and all other such
>>> situations. It works very well, too!
>>
>> I think you probably just catch them off guard, and of course they're
>> not going to say no, and probably talk about you when you leave.
>
> When I have the opportunity to make wild speculation about your friends,
> I'll try to get my licks in. In the meantime, asking them to turn off a
> tv, turn down the music and all manner of stuff certainly never bothers
> them: When they ask me similar things, I never have any difficulties
> providing: I specifically want them to have a good time! Similarly I
> don't need to carp behind their back when they leave. If they irk me, I
> carp right then. But again, the "politely" thing works out real well.
> Try it!
>
> The other night we had some white and red wine out for guests. But one
> guy asked for a martini, I made him one. Then two others saw it and
> wanted one. So I stook there and made cocktails for a half hour. I was
> glad to make them. We seem to have a shared vision of what "hospitality"
> means, my friends and I.
>
>
And that has what to do with asking your hosts to turn off the tv?

On 2/8/2013 12:08 PM, Ophelia wrote:
>
>
> "gtr" > wrote in message news:2013020807360671161-xxx@yyyzzz...
>> On 2013-02-08 10:29:10 +0000, Ophelia said:
>>
>>> No, they weren't watching it. It was just on and the sound very low.
>>> The
>>> were chatting to us all the time and never once watching the tv. Had
>>> they
>>> been watching it, I would have made an excuse and we would have left.
>>> Other
>>> than the tv being on, it was a most enjoyable visit.
>>
>> I'm sorry, I don't follow the logic that has turning to TV off become a
>> violation of some kind of social norm. But then maybe you're talking
>> about attending something with co-workers or the bereaved, I don't know.
>>
>> I don't know from hanging out with "not exactly friends" and a TV. As I
>> ponder this further it occurs to me that none of my friends have the TV
>> on, regardless of the sound level, when friends are over, unless we are
>> watching a DVD or a movie as a group, which is quite the rarity.
>>
>> We entertain a lot and our friends do too. But then they are friends, not
>> something else. So for my unique situation, asking someone to turn off
>> the TV never happens because it's not on. Like just as impossible for
>> others but not a problem at all is the music which a number of people
>> have
>> playing on a stereo. If it's too loud, someone asks it be turned
>> down, or
>> be changed if it's too "peppy" or turgid or something.
>>
>> On a number of occasions in discussion groups (my movie group), people
>> have asked it be turned off. It is, and amazingly without a great
>> deal of
>> angst, hand-wringing, negotiation--none of that!
>>
>> But then most of my friends don't really watch a lot of TV though we do a
>> lot of reading. I suppose that's now officially "elistist", reading
>> books.
>
> I don't think i am getting through here A neighbour invited us in for an
> evening! Just me and my husband. Nice people. I just made a comment that
> they obviously keep their tv on as a matter of course. They are not
> particularly friends, just nice neighbours. The sound was not intrusive, it
> just seemed odd. We enjoyed our time with them.
>
LOL

gtr wrote:
> On 2013-02-08 21:27:45 +0000, Gary said:
>
>> gtr wrote:
>>>
>>> But then most of my friends don't really watch a lot of TV though
>>> we do a lot of reading. I suppose that's now officially
>>> "elistist", reading books.
>>
>> I read every night and all night...often waking up in the middle of
>> the night to continue reading. But I also like the tv to be on, low
>> volume. funny....even when I just want to read, I still have to find
>> the best tv show on for background noise.
>
> You're free to do anything you like, it's just that I can't understand
> why background noise is needed. "I just want it", is a retort, but
> doesn't provide me a rationale; I'm not sure what it provides or why.
> It's just an abstract curiousity for me, but no one seems to know why
> they need it.
>
> But beyond that, you need it enough that you'd get rid of someone who
> asked you to tamper with it and never invite them back; I'm sorry that
> sounds pretty obsessive.
>
>> Guess it's because if I take a break from reading, I can watch a few
>> minutes of some tv show....then go back to reading and fall asleep
>> again.
>>
>> Pawn Stars is a great show for background noise when reading.
>
> I wonder how this noise-intended-for-ignoring from other
> noises-intended-for-ignoring.
>
> Noting that Julie purportedly once played the violin, I wonder if
> there are any *current* musicians that have a difficulty with
> noise-for-ignoring. I've trained myself over a lifetime to listen
> realy carefully; maybe that puts me in a different category, one
> undoubtedly useful for contempt or disrespect...

But I was also a dancer. When I hear music, my mind automatically begins
choreographing. To me, music that you can't dance to isn't what I want to
hear. I never even took hip hop but I can choreograph that kind of dance in
my mind. I have a much harder time with country western. Perhaps because a
lot of it just jangles on my nerves or something. And jazz often does the
same. Seems there is just too much sameness to some jazz songs.

On 2013-02-09 05:04:24 +0000, Cheryl said:

> On 2/8/2013 1:32 AM, gtr wrote:
>> On 2013-02-08 04:10:22 +0000, Cheryl said:
>>
>>>> I find as a guest in another's home they are usually quite eager to
>>>> provide what I consider "hospitality", and whenever something is
>>>> particularlyi problematic I have no problems asking politely. Politely
>>>> is the key to both the give and the take in this and all other such
>>>> situations. It works very well, too!
>>>
>>> I think you probably just catch them off guard, and of course they're
>>> not going to say no, and probably talk about you when you leave.
>>
>> When I have the opportunity to make wild speculation about your friends,
>> I'll try to get my licks in. In the meantime, asking them to turn off a
>> tv, turn down the music and all manner of stuff certainly never bothers
>> them: When they ask me similar things, I never have any difficulties
>> providing: I specifically want them to have a good time! Similarly I
>> don't need to carp behind their back when they leave. If they irk me, I
>> carp right then. But again, the "politely" thing works out real well.
>> Try it!
>>
>> The other night we had some white and red wine out for guests. But one
>> guy asked for a martini, I made him one. Then two others saw it and
>> wanted one. So I stook there and made cocktails for a half hour. I was
>> glad to make them. We seem to have a shared vision of what "hospitality"
>> means, my friends and I.
>>
>>
> And that has what to do with asking your hosts to turn off the tv?

Hospitality and attending you what your guests like, rather than your
own needs.

[quote='Julie Bove
But I was also a dancer. When I hear music, my mind automatically begins
choreographing. To me, music that you can't dance to isn't what I want to
hear. I never even took hip hop but I can choreograph that kind of dance in
my mind. I have a much harder time with country western. Perhaps because a
lot of it just jangles on my nerves or something. And jazz often does the
same. Seems there is just too much sameness to some jazz songs.[/QUOTE]

This is wild. Each time I hear a Minnie Pearl truck driving song I start automatically doing the two step. Jazz gives me a queasy tummy and the hip hop rap boogaloog makes my trigger finger itchy. Do this sound normal?