Some of the FB members may have heard, but my husband and best friend
passed away on Sunday. the funeral was on Tuesday in New Jersey as we
had already purchased plots there near my daughter's grave.

I have spent my entire cooking life cooking for other people and now I
just have me. I'm worried that I'll just not cook and then not get good
nutrition.

How do you single folks cook for yourselves? I really need to learn how
to do this.

I'm in NJ now but will be home on Sunday. My kneecap has healed well
but I still have more PT and last Wednesday, despite having had the
vaccine, I got shingles up and down my left arm. They are starting to
heal now, but the nerve pain is still there. If anyone has any
experience with shingles, I'd appreciate any helpful hints.

The Great Yankee fan was honored at home on Monday night at the local
independent league ball game where they held a moment of silence
followed by playing "New York, NY"

He was walking into the kitchen Sunday afternoon and sounded like he was
choking, so I got up and went to him and he just fell over. I called
911 and they came in 10 minutes, but it was too late. They gave him CPR
and all that stuff, but he was gone. I believe cardiac arrest was the
listed cause of death.

Big sports fan that he was, he always liked the idea of sudden death
(as opposed to slow lingering death). For someone who had two cardiac
bypass operations, was diabetic on an insulin pump, had congestive heart
failure and a degenerating, herniated disc in his back, he traveled
extensively, enjoyed his New York Yankees, volunteered at the Humane
Society and was an all around good guy.

Sorry for dumping this. Anyway, pleas send tips on how to cook for
one. How do you inspire yourself to get up and make a meal for one person?
--



Janet Wilder
Posting from the Netbaby

---
This email is free from viruses and malware because avast! Antivirus protection is active.
http://www.avast.com

I am so sorry for your loss.

All my best,
Tara

Janet, you have my deepest sympathy on the loss of your husband. I know that I would eat quite differently if I only had me to cook for. I wouldn't bother with the type of meals I currently make everyday. I would probably nibble all day on fruit and raw veggies, only cooking meat once or twice a week. I think I'd make a "real" meal a couple times a month and freeze a few extra portions for when I needed more than bird food types of meals. Many years ago my husband was hospitalized for almost a month with pancreatitis, I found that without someone else to cook for, I mostly ate soup and sandwiches, fruit and veggies. I really didn't miss the big meat and potato meals.

Denise in NH

On 6/5/14, 1:07 PM, Janet Wilder wrote:

> Sorry for dumping this. Anyway, pleas send tips on how to cook for
> one. How do you inspire yourself to get up and make a meal for one person?

Sorry to hear about your loss.

In my case I'm on a ridiculously low sodium diet, so if I want to eat I
have to cook. There are next to no prepared or frozen meals I can eat.
I've got freezer containers and a vacuum sealer, but I find I seldom use
them for storing foods I've cooked. Occasionally if I make a large hunk
of meat in a crock pot I'll portion it and freeze it, but mainly I cook
my meals to order, and cook what I think of as mostly restaurant style
foods rather than family style casseroles like my mom used to make. I
use the vacuum sealer to freeze portions of the uncooked items e.g.
chicken breasts, that come too many to a package to use all at once.

On Thu, 05 Jun 2014 13:07:35 -0500, Janet Wilder
> wrote:

> Some of the FB members may have heard, but my husband and best friend
> passed away on Sunday. the funeral was on Tuesday in New Jersey as we
> had already purchased plots there near my daughter's grave.
>
<snip>
> He was walking into the kitchen Sunday afternoon and sounded like he was
> choking, so I got up and went to him and he just fell over. I called
> 911 and they came in 10 minutes, but it was too late. They gave him CPR
> and all that stuff, but he was gone. I believe cardiac arrest was the
> listed cause of death.
>
> Big sports fan that he was, he always liked the idea of sudden death
> (as opposed to slow lingering death). For someone who had two cardiac
> bypass operations, was diabetic on an insulin pump, had congestive heart
> failure and a degenerating, herniated disc in his back, he traveled
> extensively, enjoyed his New York Yankees, volunteered at the Humane
> Society and was an all around good guy.
>
My sincere condolences, Janet. Your loss is unimaginable.

> Sorry for dumping this. Anyway, pleas send tips on how to cook for
> one. How do you inspire yourself to get up and make a meal for one person?

Sorry, can't help. My mother never particularly liked cooking and was
one of those people you could tell what day it was by what she ate for
dinner. Her routine didn't change unless I went shopping and cooked
for her when I visited. If she did the cooking, she just made more of
whatever her routine meal of the day was.

--
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.

On 6/5/2014 2:07 PM, Janet Wilder wrote:
> Some of the FB members may have heard, but my husband and best friend
> passed away on Sunday. the funeral was on Tuesday in New Jersey as we
> had already purchased plots there near my daughter's grave.
>

> Sorry for dumping this. Anyway, pleas send tips on how to cook for
> one. How do you inspire yourself to get up and make a meal for one person?

Sorry for your loos. No, you don't have to feel sorry for dumping, it
is a way to relive some of the pain and we're glad to help.

Keep cooking the same way, but make another meal portion for the next day.

As for the shingles, time is the only thing that is certain. Some
medications can relives some of the paid for a time.

Peg Bracken's The Compleat I Hate to Cook Book has a chapter on cooking
for one - some good advice and a good smile.

Tara

On Thursday, June 5, 2014 1:07:35 PM UTC-5, Janet Wilder wrote:
>
> Some of the FB members may have heard, but my husband and best friend
> passed away on Sunday. the funeral was on Tuesday in New Jersey as we
> had already purchased plots there near my daughter's grave.
>
>
> Janet Wilder
>
> Posting from the Netbaby
>
>
I am terribly, terribly sorry to read this and my most sincere condolences to you.

On Thu, 05 Jun 2014 13:07:35 -0500, Janet Wilder
> wrote:

>Some of the FB members may have heard, but my husband and best friend
>passed away on Sunday. the funeral was on Tuesday in New Jersey as we
>had already purchased plots there near my daughter's grave.
>
>I have spent my entire cooking life cooking for other people and now I
>just have me. I'm worried that I'll just not cook and then not get good
>nutrition.
>
>How do you single folks cook for yourselves? I really need to learn how
>to do this.

Cook the same quantities as previously and freeze half. I've always
doubled and tripled recipes, I see no point in cooking the
same dish two or three times... most dishes can be frozen. Tossed
salads will keep in the fridge for a week when misted with vinegar, or
lemon juice. Learn to love left overs, and keep away from
restaurants, the food is awful, over priced, and it's not very
enjoyable eating out alone.

Janet Wilder > wrote:

> Some of the FB members may have heard, but my husband and best friend
> passed away on Sunday. the funeral was on Tuesday in New Jersey as we
> had already purchased plots there near my daughter's grave.

My heartfelt condolences, Janet. It never rains but it pours...

> I'm in NJ now but will be home on Sunday. My kneecap has healed well
> but I still have more PT and last Wednesday, despite having had the
> vaccine, I got shingles up and down my left arm. They are starting to
> heal now, but the nerve pain is still there. If anyone has any
> experience with shingles, I'd appreciate any helpful hints.

It is too late to do anything now, only time will help.

> Sorry for dumping this. Anyway, pleas send tips on how to cook for
> one. How do you inspire yourself to get up and make a meal for one person?

To me, it does not matter whether I am cooking for one or more. I live
to eat, I do not eat to live. Food itself is inspiration enough for me.
Whenever I know I won't have time to cook, I cook a big pot of soup or
stew, enough for a few days or even for a whole week. A few weeks ago I
cooked a really big ox tongue with vegetables in a pressure cooker.
Together with the broth it yielded, it was enough for eight days. This
kind of food does not get boring - when I finished the last piece, I
immediately started thinking of buying another ox tongue.

Victor

On Thu, 05 Jun 2014 13:07:35 -0500, Janet Wilder
> wrote:

>Some of the FB members may have heard, but my husband and best friend
>passed away on Sunday. the funeral was on Tuesday in New Jersey as we
>had already purchased plots there near my daughter's grave.

I'm so sorry Janet - this on top of your own ailments at the moment.
It's a cliche' but words seem so unsatisfactory at a time like this. I
just hope you get through this time as well as can be hoped for...


>I have spent my entire cooking life cooking for other people and now I
>just have me. I'm worried that I'll just not cook and then not get good
>nutrition.
>
>How do you single folks cook for yourselves? I really need to learn how
>to do this.

Well, that's me most of the time - cooking for one.
Our seasons are opposed - winter here now - but I love making soups
and stews as you have a couple of days of meals that only require
reheating (although mine usually sits on the fire or stove).

I like legs of lamb or pork too, as you can have multiple feeds off of
them. Roast chicken, the leftovers make a nice soup for one.

Pasta dishes is another good one... for one.

Alternatively - something quick and simple like a pot of steamed
veggies with steak, lamb chops, chicken fillet, or whatever.

>I'm in NJ now but will be home on Sunday. My kneecap has healed well
>but I still have more PT and last Wednesday, despite having had the
>vaccine, I got shingles up and down my left arm. They are starting to
>heal now, but the nerve pain is still there. If anyone has any
>experience with shingles, I'd appreciate any helpful hints.
>
>The Great Yankee fan was honored at home on Monday night at the local
>independent league ball game where they held a moment of silence
>followed by playing "New York, NY"
>
>He was walking into the kitchen Sunday afternoon and sounded like he was
>choking, so I got up and went to him and he just fell over. I called
>911 and they came in 10 minutes, but it was too late. They gave him CPR
>and all that stuff, but he was gone. I believe cardiac arrest was the
>listed cause of death.
>
> Big sports fan that he was, he always liked the idea of sudden death
>(as opposed to slow lingering death). For someone who had two cardiac
>bypass operations, was diabetic on an insulin pump, had congestive heart
>failure and a degenerating, herniated disc in his back, he traveled
>extensively, enjoyed his New York Yankees, volunteered at the Humane
>Society and was an all around good guy.

Sounds like it, sounds like he never let his health problems get in
the way of enjoying life too.

>Sorry for dumping this.

Well, it would make it very difficult for you to not mention it here
and carry on as usual. No apology required Janet.

>Anyway, pleas send tips on how to cook for
>one. How do you inspire yourself to get up and make a meal for one person?

Sometimes I get home late after working hard... and I'm too tired to
cook. I go to bed hungry. I keep meaning to make a few meals to freeze
that can be quickly reheated - but I too could use some ideas as to
what to make that survives freezing okay.

I've tried freezing stews before, but it changes the texture/mouthfeel
and it's just not right for me. Other people don't know what the hell
I'm talking about, but I can easily tell the difference once a stew
has been frozen.

A good thread Janet, good for me too as a person living alone.
Glad to see you posting here at this terrible time for you, you have
friends here.

On Thursday, June 5, 2014 11:07:35 AM UTC-7, Janet Wilder wrote:
> Some of the FB members may have heard, but my husband and best friend
>
> passed away on Sunday. the funeral was on Tuesday in New Jersey as we
>
> had already purchased plots there near my daughter's grave.
>
>
>
> I have spent my entire cooking life cooking for other people and now I
>
> just have me. I'm worried that I'll just not cook and then not get good
>
> nutrition.
>
>
>
> How do you single folks cook for yourselves? I really need to learn how
>
> to do this.
>
>
>

Damn, Janet. I'm so sorry. I've been single a long time. But I love to cook. Since I'm not in the restaurant any more you would think I'd cook like I'm cooking for one, but I never do.

These days unless I'm having friends for dinner, I cook for myself on the weekend and make enough to take for lunches during the week. When I make a pot of soup I make the regular pot full and portion a lot out in the freezer for quick evening meals and lunches for work.

I've never just cooked for one. I've never even tried. I like portioning out stuff and freezing it and having it for future dinners or work lunches or even for 'emergencies' when someone shows up unexpectedly and I need to throw a meal together.

The only real 'for one' meals I cook would be if I broil myself a steak or a piece of fish, etc. The kinds of foods that you can't or wouldn't want to cook ahead.

Right now I can understand how you will have to pretty much drag yourself out of bed and force yourself to want to do anything. I hope you still have the kittens, they will give you a reason to get up in the morning. Something to take care of is great therapy and medicine for you. Keep finding little ones to take care of. They will help your heart to heal.

I'm so sorry. I'm full of tears for you right now.

"Janet Wilder" > wrote in message
eb.com...
> Some of the FB members may have heard, but my husband and best friend
> passed away on Sunday. the funeral was on Tuesday in New Jersey as we had
> already purchased plots there near my daughter's grave.
>
> I have spent my entire cooking life cooking for other people and now I
> just have me. I'm worried that I'll just not cook and then not get good
> nutrition.
>
> How do you single folks cook for yourselves? I really need to learn how
> to do this.
>
> I'm in NJ now but will be home on Sunday. My kneecap has healed well but
> I still have more PT and last Wednesday, despite having had the vaccine, I
> got shingles up and down my left arm. They are starting to heal now, but
> the nerve pain is still there. If anyone has any experience with shingles,
> I'd appreciate any helpful hints.
>
> The Great Yankee fan was honored at home on Monday night at the local
> independent league ball game where they held a moment of silence followed
> by playing "New York, NY"
>
> He was walking into the kitchen Sunday afternoon and sounded like he was
> choking, so I got up and went to him and he just fell over. I called 911
> and they came in 10 minutes, but it was too late. They gave him CPR and
> all that stuff, but he was gone. I believe cardiac arrest was the listed
> cause of death.
>
> Big sports fan that he was, he always liked the idea of sudden death (as
> opposed to slow lingering death). For someone who had two cardiac bypass
> operations, was diabetic on an insulin pump, had congestive heart failure
> and a degenerating, herniated disc in his back, he traveled extensively,
> enjoyed his New York Yankees, volunteered at the Humane Society and was an
> all around good guy.
>
> Sorry for dumping this. Anyway, pleas send tips on how to cook for one.
> How do you inspire yourself to get up and make a meal for one person?

I don't mind eating the same thing over and over. I would make a big pot of
chili or soup and eat it until it was gone. I also don't mind eating food
that isn't necessarily cooked. Like a big salad. However, and this has
been disputed here... My Family Living Teacher said it is difficult to make
a really good salad for one. She was right. If you buy three kinds of
greens, a carton of small tomatoes, an onion, etc., you are bound to have
things leftover that you'll either waste or have to find a use for. This is
where bagged salads can help. And you may decide to buy a shallot instead
of an onion.

I buy boxes of cooked hamburger patties from Costco. They are frozen. If
you don't want to do this, you can make your own patties and freeze the
extra. I also did this with things like croquettes, pancakes, muffins, even
casseroles. Some things can be put in freezer bags. Others can be put in
special containers that will work in the freezer. I don't really like to
freeze a lot of things because I don't think that the quality is quite the
same when thawed but it is better than wasting the food.

If carbs are not an issue, you can make a meal from a large baked potato,
adding toppings to it as desired and accompanying it with a small side
salad. I don't eat a lot of meat myself. Meat was one thing that I did
find difficult to do for one. Sure you can go to the butcher counter and
buy one chicken breast or a steak but if you want a pot roast, you'll have a
lot of meat. So I would add something to my salad that contained protein.
Like egg, cheese or nuts.

I also ate a lot of stuffed tomatoes. Take a large tomato and cut it all
around from top to almost the bottom. Spread out the petals like a flower.
Fill with a meat salad or cottage cheese. You can have crackers or a roll
on the side if you need more carbs.

You've seen me mention the bean tacos and burritos. Very simple to make. I
used to make my beans from scratch but lately I've been getting super good
deals on canned, both whole beans and refried.

Hummus wraps are another thing you can do for one. I get the Pita (flat,
not pocket) bread at Costco and unlike some other breads, it is fine in the
freezer because I microwave it slightly to warm. Put it on a piece of foil
that is slightly larger than the bread. Spread with hummus, either purchased
or homemade. Top with small tomato slices, white onion and cucumber. Roll
it up, allowing one end to stick out of the foil a bit. Secure the foil
around it. I like a few olives on the side but a small Greek salad is good
with this too.

Another thing I used to eat was half a cantaloupe with cottage cheese and
perhaps some berries or other fruits.

If you want pizza, you can make it using English Muffins as a base and extra
of those will keep in the freezer as well. You can also top them with a
tomato slice and cheese, and if you want go a step further and put some tuna
salad on it. Broil until the cheese melts.

Nachos! I do have to watch my carbs there so I literally count out the
amount of chips that I use. Carefully arrange on a plate then top with
dollops of refried beans, leftover cooked chicken or taco type meat (this
also keeps well in the freezer), chopped tomatoes, green onion and cheese.
I like black olives on this but I don't like mine cooked so I nuke it until
the cheese is melted. Then I add the olives. You can put gauc. and sour
cream on top if you want.

My friend takes a different approach to meals. Unlike me, she hates to cook.
So many of her meals are cereal, yogurt, sandwiches, fruit and raw
vegetables like baby carrots.

You'll find that you will have to adjust what you eat somewhat. Save things
like a big batch of ravioli for those times when you are having company
over. Otherwise you'll have a lot for the freezer. Actually when I was
single, I was working so I would often make things and take them to work.
Baking type stuff especially. I might want to make a cake but I would never
eat the cake. So I took it to work.

But then after I married, I was alone for perhaps 3 months at a time when my
husband was out to sea so I had to not only adapt for one but adapt to new
foods as we had moved to Cape Cod and I was not familiar with many of the
brands. And I couldn't get the Mexican foods I was familiar with.

Even now I often cook for one, three times in a day because there are three
of us and we tend not to eat all of the same things but... I can at least
sometimes use the same ingredients in some way so that does help.

Very sorry for your loss.

"sf" > wrote in message
news
> On Thu, 05 Jun 2014 13:07:35 -0500, Janet Wilder
> > wrote:
>
>> Some of the FB members may have heard, but my husband and best friend
>> passed away on Sunday. the funeral was on Tuesday in New Jersey as we
>> had already purchased plots there near my daughter's grave.
>>
> <snip>
>> He was walking into the kitchen Sunday afternoon and sounded like he was
>> choking, so I got up and went to him and he just fell over. I called
>> 911 and they came in 10 minutes, but it was too late. They gave him CPR
>> and all that stuff, but he was gone. I believe cardiac arrest was the
>> listed cause of death.
>>
>> Big sports fan that he was, he always liked the idea of sudden death
>> (as opposed to slow lingering death). For someone who had two cardiac
>> bypass operations, was diabetic on an insulin pump, had congestive heart
>> failure and a degenerating, herniated disc in his back, he traveled
>> extensively, enjoyed his New York Yankees, volunteered at the Humane
>> Society and was an all around good guy.
>>
> My sincere condolences, Janet. Your loss is unimaginable.
>
>> Sorry for dumping this. Anyway, pleas send tips on how to cook for
>> one. How do you inspire yourself to get up and make a meal for one
>> person?
>
> Sorry, can't help. My mother never particularly liked cooking and was
> one of those people you could tell what day it was by what she ate for
> dinner. Her routine didn't change unless I went shopping and cooked
> for her when I visited. If she did the cooking, she just made more of
> whatever her routine meal of the day was.
>
My mom gave me most of her cookbooks. She had a Betty Crocker, cooking for
two. I was shocked to see how many canned soups and other pre-made products
that it used. Yes, I do sometimes eat canned soup. I think it's a good
thing to keep for times when I am sick or just need a meal and haven't got
time to cook it. But the book did give some ideas of how to cook something
and then save out parts of the ingredients for a different meal on another
day. I'm sure most people know this though. For instance, save out some
pot roast for hash or soup on another day.

The really hard part for me was that I just love to cook! So I would cook
and cook but... Who was going to eat it all? One person can only eat so
much. And I'm not rich so I can't afford to keep feeding my friends and
their families all of the time. But... Most of my friends don't cook and
they do like my cooking so I was able to do that once or twice a month.

But the rest of the time? Pretty much all I could do was just read about
the food. There have been times when I cooked/baked for pretty much 24
hours straight. And while I enjoyed doing that, I would then not be able to
cook anything for perhaps 2 weeks because I had made so much food. Had
there been some kind of soup kitchen near where I lived, I may well have
volunteered there. Just so I could cook!

On 6/5/2014 1:07 PM, Janet Wilder wrote:
> Some of the FB members may have heard, but my husband and best friend
> passed away on Sunday. the funeral was on Tuesday in New Jersey as we
> had already purchased plots there near my daughter's grave.
>
> I have spent my entire cooking life cooking for other people and now I
> just have me. I'm worried that I'll just not cook and then not get good
> nutrition.
>
> How do you single folks cook for yourselves? I really need to learn how
> to do this.
>
> I'm in NJ now but will be home on Sunday. My kneecap has healed well
> but I still have more PT and last Wednesday, despite having had the
> vaccine, I got shingles up and down my left arm. They are starting to
> heal now, but the nerve pain is still there. If anyone has any
> experience with shingles, I'd appreciate any helpful hints.
>
> The Great Yankee fan was honored at home on Monday night at the local
> independent league ball game where they held a moment of silence
> followed by playing "New York, NY"
>
> He was walking into the kitchen Sunday afternoon and sounded like he was
> choking, so I got up and went to him and he just fell over. I called
> 911 and they came in 10 minutes, but it was too late. They gave him CPR
> and all that stuff, but he was gone. I believe cardiac arrest was the
> listed cause of death.
>
> Big sports fan that he was, he always liked the idea of sudden death
> (as opposed to slow lingering death). For someone who had two cardiac
> bypass operations, was diabetic on an insulin pump, had congestive heart
> failure and a degenerating, herniated disc in his back, he traveled
> extensively, enjoyed his New York Yankees, volunteered at the Humane
> Society and was an all around good guy.
>
> Sorry for dumping this. Anyway, pleas send tips on how to cook for
> one. How do you inspire yourself to get up and make a meal for one person?


{{{big hugs}}}

Becca

On 6/5/2014 2:07 PM, Janet Wilder wrote:

> Some of the FB members may have heard, but my husband and best friend
> passed away on Sunday. the funeral was on Tuesday in New Jersey as we
> had already purchased plots there near my daughter's grave.

My deepest condolences. Wish I had better words.

> The Great Yankee fan was honored at home on Monday night at the local
> independent league ball game where they held a moment of silence
> followed by playing "New York, NY"

When I heard the terrible news, strangely something you said earlier
this spring came back to me. Something about him missing the Yankees
games last year, you'd be damned if he wasn't going to go this year.
I'm really glad you two got to go, despite your injury.

nancy

On 6/5/2014 2:07 PM, Janet Wilder wrote:
> Some of the FB members may have heard, but my husband and best friend
> passed away on Sunday. the funeral was on Tuesday in New Jersey as we
> had already purchased plots there near my daughter's grave.
>
I am so very sorry for your loss. You have my sincere condolences.

> I have spent my entire cooking life cooking for other people and now I
> just have me. I'm worried that I'll just not cook and then not get good
> nutrition.
>
> How do you single folks cook for yourselves? I really need to learn how
> to do this.
>
Do you have a separate freezer?

As others have mentioned, unless I'm having a steak or a burger I
generally cook enough for four people. Then portion out and freeze the
leftovers. Just the other night I had a wonderful dinner - pot roast
with gravy, mashed potatoes and lima beans... a homemade freezer meal.
Just thaw and heat. You can do that with just about anything; baked
chicken, fish.

Spaghetti sauce freezes well. Soups and stocks do, too.

Even when I only had a top of the fridge freezer in my apartment, I'd
cook this way and freeze leftovers. Even with that small space I
managed. It's a matter of organization. Label and date everything.

> I'm in NJ now but will be home on Sunday. My kneecap has healed well
> but I still have more PT and last Wednesday, despite having had the
> vaccine, I got shingles up and down my left arm. They are starting to
> heal now, but the nerve pain is still there. If anyone has any
> experience with shingles, I'd appreciate any helpful hints.
>
I've got no advice for shingles, but I do hope it clears up quickly.

> The Great Yankee fan was honored at home on Monday night at the local
> independent league ball game where they held a moment of silence
> followed by playing "New York, NY"
>
> He was walking into the kitchen Sunday afternoon and sounded like he was
> choking, so I got up and went to him and he just fell over. I called
> 911 and they came in 10 minutes, but it was too late. They gave him CPR
> and all that stuff, but he was gone. I believe cardiac arrest was the
> listed cause of death.
>
> Big sports fan that he was, he always liked the idea of sudden death
> (as opposed to slow lingering death). For someone who had two cardiac
> bypass operations, was diabetic on an insulin pump, had congestive heart
> failure and a degenerating, herniated disc in his back, he traveled
> extensively, enjoyed his New York Yankees, volunteered at the Humane
> Society and was an all around good guy.
>
He sure sounds like a wonderful man. And as Nancy said, I'm very glad
you insisted on you guys going to the ball game despite your knee
injury. It showed how truly devoted you were to making each other happy.

> Sorry for dumping this.

Please do not apologize.

It will take time. All I can say is do not try to rush through the
grief process. Don't think you have to just pick up and act as if
nothing happened. No one expects you to do that. Grief has a way of
sneaking up on you. If you need a good cry, cry. If you need to talk,
talk. If you need to get angry and rail at the world, go for it.

Bless you, Janet.

Jill

On 6/5/2014 2:07 PM, Janet Wilder wrote:
>
> Sorry for dumping this. Anyway, pleas send tips on how to cook for
> one. How do you inspire yourself to get up and make a meal for one person?

Once again, I'm so sorry for your sudden loss. I'll give you some ideas
that my mom does since she became a widow a couple of years ago. She
makes up meals enough to freeze multiple extra meals. She says it is a
real life saver since she is so busy now that she rarely has time to
cook. Since my dad passed away, she started volunteering at her church
and now has a new group of friends who are also recently widowed or
widowers. They go out to eat a lot of the time, but when she finally
has time to catch her breath and have a night in to herself (said as if
she is enduring these busy days, but she loves it!) she is glad to have
a meal ready to defrost and pop in the oven or microwave. About her
volunteering, she doesn't like being at home alone anymore unless she is
really tired from all of the running around, or if Dancing with the
Stars is on.

You'll figure it out. Give yourself time. Order in if you don't feel
like cooking or going out, then again, you're way in the country so your
delivery choices are probably limited.

--
ღ.¸¸.œ«*¨`*œ¶
Cheryl

On Thu, 05 Jun 2014 13:07:35 -0500, Janet Wilder
> wrote:

>Some of the FB members may have heard, but my husband and best friend
>passed away on Sunday. the funeral was on Tuesday in New Jersey as we
>had already purchased plots there near my daughter's grave.
>
snip
Janet, I am truly sorry that you have suffered this bereavement. My
thoughts are with you as you grieve. You have my best wishes.
Janet Bostwick US

>On Thursday, June 5, 2014 11:07:35 AM UTC-7, Janet Wilder wrote:
>> Some of the FB members may have heard, but my husband and best friend
>>
>> passed away on Sunday. the funeral was on Tuesday in New Jersey as we
>>
>> had already purchased plots there near my daughter's grave.

I'm so sorry to read this, Janet.

I know I haven't been active in this group for very long, but I have
lurked for quite a while, and have become familiar with most of the
posters - including you.

Please do take care of yourself and allow yourself to heal from this.

Doris

"Sqwertz" > wrote in message
...
> On Thu, 05 Jun 2014 13:07:35 -0500, Janet Wilder wrote:
>
>> I have spent my entire cooking life cooking for other people and now I
>> just have me. I'm worried that I'll just not cook and then not get good
>> nutrition.
>>
>> How do you single folks cook for yourselves? I really need to learn how
>> to do this.
>
> I cook the same for one as I do for two. Right now I'm cooking 6
> pieces of chicken (got 10lbs for $3.90). I'll eat two pieces and the
> rest will be leftovers - made into tacos, chicken salad, or just eaten
> cold/room temp.
>
> Baked potatoes I cook maybe 4 at a time, the other 3 will make home
> fries or potato salad during the next week.
>
> It's really not hard for cooking for one. I eat a lot of sandwiches
> of varying styles (open face broiled, grilled/toasted, vegetarian).
> Extra pasta and sauce can be stored separately and the noodles can be
> used for other things, and the sauce for quick tortilla pizzas or
> meatball sandwiches. Just because you had spaghetti and have leftover
> pasta and sauce doesn't mean you have to combine them the same way.
>
> Always think ahead when you cook something and judge wether you want
> leftovers that will make other things.
>
> It's not hard. You'll be fine as long as you maintain your desire to
> cook and eat. I'm sure you will. It might not seem like it now, but
> you'll manage just fine.

How do you make the chicken for tacos? Angela loves my chicken and she
loves chicken tacos. Just not my chicken tacos.

On 2014-06-05 2:07 PM, Janet Wilder wrote:
> Some of the FB members may have heard, but my husband and best friend
> passed away on Sunday. the funeral was on Tuesday in New Jersey as we
> had already purchased plots there near my daughter's grave.
>
> I have spent my entire cooking life cooking for other people and now I
> just have me. I'm worried that I'll just not cook and then not get good
> nutrition.
>
> How do you single folks cook for yourselves? I really need to learn how
> to do this.


I can sure sympathize with that. Whenever my wife goes away for
conferences or visiting her family I have a hard time getting inspired
to cook just for myself. I tend to grill or BBQ with salads, or just
have soup and sandwiches. It is as much work to cook a meal for one as
it is for several people, and just as much work to clean up. It may
help to so something like lasagne and then freeze it to be reheated later.

On 6/5/2014 5:17 PM, ImStillMags wrote:
> On Thursday, June 5, 2014 11:07:35 AM UTC-7, Janet Wilder wrote:
>> Some of the FB members may have heard, but my husband and best friend
>>
>> passed away on Sunday. the funeral was on Tuesday in New Jersey as we
>>
>> had already purchased plots there near my daughter's grave.
>>
>>
>>
>> I have spent my entire cooking life cooking for other people and now I
>>
>> just have me. I'm worried that I'll just not cook and then not get good
>>
>> nutrition.
>>
>>
>>
>> How do you single folks cook for yourselves? I really need to learn how
>>
>> to do this.
>>
>>
>>
>
> Damn, Janet. I'm so sorry. I've been single a long time. But I love to cook. Since I'm not in the restaurant any more you would think I'd cook like I'm cooking for one, but I never do.
>
> These days unless I'm having friends for dinner, I cook for myself on the weekend and make enough to take for lunches during the week. When I make a pot of soup I make the regular pot full and portion a lot out in the freezer for quick evening meals and lunches for work.
>
> I've never just cooked for one. I've never even tried. I like portioning out stuff and freezing it and having it for future dinners or work lunches or even for 'emergencies' when someone shows up unexpectedly and I need to throw a meal together.
>
> The only real 'for one' meals I cook would be if I broil myself a steak or a piece of fish, etc. The kinds of foods that you can't or wouldn't want to cook ahead.
>
> Right now I can understand how you will have to pretty much drag yourself out of bed and force yourself to want to do anything. I hope you still have the kittens, they will give you a reason to get up in the morning. Something to take care of is great therapy and medicine for you. Keep finding little ones to take care of. They will help your heart to heal.
>
> I'm so sorry. I'm full of tears for you right now.
>

Thank you.

I had to give the kittens back to an employee of the shelter as I was
leaving town. She is probably fostering them right now, but I don't
think I can take them back. I have so much to do when I get home.

I still have Mickey Charles, my toy Poodle. I am picking him up
straight from the airport on Monday. I'm very worried about how he'll
react as he was very much Barry's dog.


--



Janet Wilder
Posting from the Netbaby

---
This email is free from viruses and malware because avast! Antivirus protection is active.
http://www.avast.com

On 6/5/2014 5:45 PM, Nancy Young wrote:
> On 6/5/2014 2:07 PM, Janet Wilder wrote:
>
>> Some of the FB members may have heard, but my husband and best friend
>> passed away on Sunday. the funeral was on Tuesday in New Jersey as we
>> had already purchased plots there near my daughter's grave.
>
> My deepest condolences. Wish I had better words.
>
>> The Great Yankee fan was honored at home on Monday night at the local
>> independent league ball game where they held a moment of silence
>> followed by playing "New York, NY"
>
> When I heard the terrible news, strangely something you said earlier
> this spring came back to me. Something about him missing the Yankees
> games last year, you'd be damned if he wasn't going to go this year.
> I'm really glad you two got to go, despite your injury.
>
> nancy
Thanks, Nancy. I have tickets to the games in Arlington at the end of
July, and i'll probably sell them.

--



Janet Wilder
Posting from the Netbaby

---
This email is free from viruses and malware because avast! Antivirus protection is active.
http://www.avast.com

Janet Wilder wrote:
>
>I still have Mickey Charles, my toy Poodle. I am picking him up
>straight from the airport on Monday. I'm very worried about how he'll
>react as he was very much Barry's dog.

Don't wash all his clothes, keep some of his most often worn footwear.
Animals are most comforted by scent association.

On 6/6/2014 11:02 AM, Brooklyn1 wrote:
> Janet Wilder wrote:
>>
>> I still have Mickey Charles, my toy Poodle. I am picking him up
>> straight from the airport on Monday. I'm very worried about how he'll
>> react as he was very much Barry's dog.
>
> Don't wash all his clothes, keep some of his most often worn footwear.
> Animals are most comforted by scent association.
>
That's good advice, Sheldon.

Jill

ImStillMags wrote:

> These days unless I'm having friends for dinner, I cook for myself on
> the weekend and make enough to take for lunches during the week.
> When I make a pot of soup I make the regular pot full and portion a
> lot out in the freezer for quick evening meals and lunches for work.
>
> I've never just cooked for one. I've never even tried. I like
> portioning out stuff and freezing it and having it for future dinners
> or work lunches or even for 'emergencies' when someone shows up
> unexpectedly and I need to throw a meal together.

Janet, I'm sorry for your loss. Even if wasn't completely unexpected,
it's never easy, I'm sure.

As ImStillMags suggests, just cook what seems a reasonable quantity for
you and enjoy leftovers. Even though I don't cook for one, I've gotten
quite handy at leftovers because I have the self-appointed job of eating
whatever is oldest in our refrigerator since I hate wasting food. A few
tips that might help.

Slightly undercook food that you intend to reheat. We recently, e.g.,
made a batch of burgers on the grill and left them pinker in the middle
than most in my house like, but that lets us reheat them. For my boys,
I nuked them post-grill, even the first time, because they wanted them
more well done.

Find how to reheat things to give a little life back to them. E.g., if
I"m reheating something with rice or bread, I will usually sprinkle
water on it before putting the plate into the microwave. This helps
moisten the food, and even the little bits of water that get on the
plate help in that regard. Likewise, sometimes I will put a little oil
or butter on something before reheating, and sometimes I'll add a bit of
salt or other herbs and spices to give it more flavor than it would
otherwise have after having sat in the refrigerator for a few days. And
sometimes I'll use more than one of the above techniques, and sometimes
all of them together, depending.

Food that's fresher keeps longer. I know you know that, but if you find
you can't use an entire head of lettuce before it goes bad, consider
buying it at the more expensive store or the green grocer where it might
be several days newer than what you're used to buying.

Get smaller cooking aparatus. Get a small frying pan - I have a 6" I
use for myself and a 12" for things I cook for the family. Get a
toaster oven if you don't have one already or a small convection oven or
something along those lines.

I hope I didn't just tell you things you already know but I figured at
least some of the above might help.

-S-

Janet Wilder > wrote in news:5390b1ea$0$35011
:

> Anyway, pleas send tips on how to cook for
> one.

I try to make stuff that will give me several meals, usually one or two
leftovers and the rest frozen in one meal portions. I like the Banquet
'Homestyle Bakes', particularly the two with chicken and biscuits. Enough
for three meals. I don't like the similar Betty Crocker stuff. 15-bean
soup is also good. I make other stuff from scratch like lasagna,
casseroles, stew, etc. If I make baked chicken I make enough for several
meals. I've made some stuff frequently, then gotten tired of it for a few
years. I don't care for the TV-dinner type frozen prepared stuff.

I bake my own bread with a bread machine, eat it for a few days, then
slice the remainder and freeze it.

There's lots of decent single or two meal stuff - Knorr Pasta Sides or
Rice Sides, Kraft dinner or its clones, eggs - scrambled, fried, etc.,
grilled sandwich & potato chips, burrito, taco, etc.

Many possibilities. But then I've cooked for myself all my life, since I
left home at about 20. That's some 60 years now. I've never cooked for
more than one so I've had a lot of practice and chances to experiment.
I've not had any luck with single-meal cookbooks - I have better luck
with books like 'Joy of Cooking' and having leftovers. I also make some
old family recipes I happen to have gotten recipes for.

Just a few thoughts.

Good luck!



--
"Things would be a lot nicer if antique people were valued
as highly as antique furniture!" Anon

So sorry to hear about that. I would eat out a lot or maybe home delivery.

In article om>,
says...
>
> Some of the FB members may have heard, but my husband and best friend
> passed away on Sunday. the funeral was on Tuesday in New Jersey as we
> had already purchased plots there near my daughter's grave.

I am so very sorry for your loss. I am a widow too so I really do know
how you feel and wish you the very best for the journey you will now be
making.

>
> I have spent my entire cooking life cooking for other people and now I
> just have me. I'm worried that I'll just not cook and then not get good
> nutrition.

I was a half decent cook as we met a bit later in life and I lived alone
before that, but my husband used to do most of the cooking for me - and
gosh I liked that and was well used to it!

>
> How do you single folks cook for yourselves? I really need to learn how
> to do this.

For the first months I didn't eat (or sleep) and then I just ate out of
packets, sometimes half decent food, but more often just crisps or
biscuits (that UK crisps and biscuits, not the US kind) to fill my
stomach.

But after a time I found cooking again. I'd cook some pasta with chicken
or tuna, or make some chilli or a risotto or just do a sir-fry. That
fact it was just for me was neither here nor there as cooking one or two
portions is no big deal, it was more about reaching a place where I
could be bothered.

In fact I might even remember one of the very first things I cooked for
myself and I make a garlicky coating for some chicken thighs and grilled
them (that's UK grilling - under a flame) and ate them with a portion of
rice and vegetables. Not sure why I remember that specifically, but I
do.

Now, I work quite long hours so I do not generally make elaborate meals
in the week and rely quite a bit on cans of tuna or quorn (veggie)
sausages with salad or rice or good quality shop bought ready meals,
being more inclined to cook from scratch on Saturday or Sunday.

>
> I'm in NJ now but will be home on Sunday. My kneecap has healed well
> but I still have more PT and last Wednesday, despite having had the
> vaccine, I got shingles up and down my left arm. They are starting to
> heal now, but the nerve pain is still there. If anyone has any
> experience with shingles, I'd appreciate any helpful hints.

Oh dear - sorry cannot help with that one!

>
> The Great Yankee fan was honored at home on Monday night at the local
> independent league ball game where they held a moment of silence
> followed by playing "New York, NY"

That's nice. He was obviously well loved, not just by you.

>
> He was walking into the kitchen Sunday afternoon and sounded like he was
> choking, so I got up and went to him and he just fell over. I called
> 911 and they came in 10 minutes, but it was too late. They gave him CPR
> and all that stuff, but he was gone. I believe cardiac arrest was the
> listed cause of death.

My husband died of a heart attack too and your story is quite similar to
mine. It will be hard to come to terms with it and you will surely find
a way but what happened will stay with you and it will probably take a
long time before it becomes less of a focus.

I discovered TV box sets for the long nights when I did not want to
sleep and audiobooks for when I wanted to sleep but couldn't. Star Trek
and Harry Potter. :-)

I have also perfected the fine art of "changing the subject". When my
mind wanders too far into painful territory, rather than be taken down
by it, I can now willfully force myself to think about something else
and completely forget what I was thinking about. Yes, I really can not
think about the elephant in the room. It is this honed ability that
eventually allowed me to rejoin normal society after 2 years of being
lost in a fog.

You never get over it, but you will learn how to cope with it.


> Big sports fan that he was, he always liked the idea of sudden death
> (as opposed to slow lingering death). For someone who had two cardiac
> bypass operations, was diabetic on an insulin pump, had congestive heart
> failure and a degenerating, herniated disc in his back, he traveled
> extensively, enjoyed his New York Yankees, volunteered at the Humane
> Society and was an all around good guy.

He lived a full life - good!

I had an uncle who had just died of lung cancer when my husband died and
we had a few weeks before talked about the pros and cons of sudden death
vs long and lingering. My husband definitely voted for sudden (although
at just 45, he would have preferred much later in life and sudden) and
he told me that if "I ever need someone to wipe my bottom for me, shoot
me" and this was something what went through my mind a lot in the three
days that my husband was on a life support machine before it was finally
accepted by us all that there was no hope and I agreed we should turn it
off. As much as it hurt to let him die, he would not have liked life
with brain damage.

"Dying is easy, it is living that is hard"

I'm not sure I totally agree with that, but it is a point to be
considered.

>
> Sorry for dumping this.

Don't be sorry! These days are tough and this helped you. Post again if
you need to and I will read it.

> Anyway, pleas send tips on how to cook for
> one. How do you inspire yourself to get up and make a meal for one person?

Just accept that it is going to take time and take the time you need. Do
not work to anyone else's time table or expectations.

Meanwhile, when I left home and lived on my own in a small flat I bought
myself a paperback called "Microwave cooking for one". I still have it
somewhere and it gave me loads of ideas which I cooked in the microwave
or more traditionally.

I still make a chilli based on a recipe in that book although now I only
use just a little meat (I am mostly veggie nowadays) and loads of both
green and red lentils. A pot will feed me a two or three times,
depending on how greedy I am, and I either leave it in the fridge (where
it improves) and have it on several days changing the accompaniments or
put a portion in the freezer for another time.

I guess what I am saying is that cooking for yourself need not be a
compromise and while I never make any of the elaborate meals I read
about in this group that is more because I do not have the time than
because I do not have the inclination.

Here's some pressure! Post again and tell us what you do cook. :-)

Janet Wilder > wrote in news:5390b1ea$0$35011
:

> I got shingles up and down my left arm. They are starting to
> heal now, but the nerve pain is still there. If anyone has any
> experience with shingles, I'd appreciate any helpful hints.
>

I assume you visited a dermatologist? When I had them, a decade or so ago,
I found that skin cream with Capsaicin helped the most. Mine lasted several
weeks. I'd rather not get them again. I had them on my left side, chest &
back IIRC.


--
"Things would be a lot nicer if antique people were valued
as highly as antique furniture!" Anon

"Yellow" > wrote in message
T...
> In article om>,
> says...
>>
>> Some of the FB members may have heard, but my husband and best friend
>> passed away on Sunday. the funeral was on Tuesday in New Jersey as we
>> had already purchased plots there near my daughter's grave.
>
> I am so very sorry for your loss. I am a widow too so I really do know
> how you feel and wish you the very best for the journey you will now be
> making.
>
>>
>> I have spent my entire cooking life cooking for other people and now I
>> just have me. I'm worried that I'll just not cook and then not get good
>> nutrition.
>
> I was a half decent cook as we met a bit later in life and I lived alone
> before that, but my husband used to do most of the cooking for me - and
> gosh I liked that and was well used to it!
>
>>
>> How do you single folks cook for yourselves? I really need to learn how
>> to do this.
>
> For the first months I didn't eat (or sleep) and then I just ate out of
> packets, sometimes half decent food, but more often just crisps or
> biscuits (that UK crisps and biscuits, not the US kind) to fill my
> stomach.
>
> But after a time I found cooking again. I'd cook some pasta with chicken
> or tuna, or make some chilli or a risotto or just do a sir-fry. That
> fact it was just for me was neither here nor there as cooking one or two
> portions is no big deal, it was more about reaching a place where I
> could be bothered.
>
> In fact I might even remember one of the very first things I cooked for
> myself and I make a garlicky coating for some chicken thighs and grilled
> them (that's UK grilling - under a flame) and ate them with a portion of
> rice and vegetables. Not sure why I remember that specifically, but I
> do.
>
> Now, I work quite long hours so I do not generally make elaborate meals
> in the week and rely quite a bit on cans of tuna or quorn (veggie)
> sausages with salad or rice or good quality shop bought ready meals,
> being more inclined to cook from scratch on Saturday or Sunday.
>
>>
>> I'm in NJ now but will be home on Sunday. My kneecap has healed well
>> but I still have more PT and last Wednesday, despite having had the
>> vaccine, I got shingles up and down my left arm. They are starting to
>> heal now, but the nerve pain is still there. If anyone has any
>> experience with shingles, I'd appreciate any helpful hints.
>
> Oh dear - sorry cannot help with that one!
>
>>
>> The Great Yankee fan was honored at home on Monday night at the local
>> independent league ball game where they held a moment of silence
>> followed by playing "New York, NY"
>
> That's nice. He was obviously well loved, not just by you.
>
>>
>> He was walking into the kitchen Sunday afternoon and sounded like he was
>> choking, so I got up and went to him and he just fell over. I called
>> 911 and they came in 10 minutes, but it was too late. They gave him CPR
>> and all that stuff, but he was gone. I believe cardiac arrest was the
>> listed cause of death.
>
> My husband died of a heart attack too and your story is quite similar to
> mine. It will be hard to come to terms with it and you will surely find
> a way but what happened will stay with you and it will probably take a
> long time before it becomes less of a focus.
>
> I discovered TV box sets for the long nights when I did not want to
> sleep and audiobooks for when I wanted to sleep but couldn't. Star Trek
> and Harry Potter. :-)
>
> I have also perfected the fine art of "changing the subject". When my
> mind wanders too far into painful territory, rather than be taken down
> by it, I can now willfully force myself to think about something else
> and completely forget what I was thinking about. Yes, I really can not
> think about the elephant in the room. It is this honed ability that
> eventually allowed me to rejoin normal society after 2 years of being
> lost in a fog.
>
> You never get over it, but you will learn how to cope with it.
>
>
>> Big sports fan that he was, he always liked the idea of sudden death
>> (as opposed to slow lingering death). For someone who had two cardiac
>> bypass operations, was diabetic on an insulin pump, had congestive heart
>> failure and a degenerating, herniated disc in his back, he traveled
>> extensively, enjoyed his New York Yankees, volunteered at the Humane
>> Society and was an all around good guy.
>
> He lived a full life - good!
>
> I had an uncle who had just died of lung cancer when my husband died and
> we had a few weeks before talked about the pros and cons of sudden death
> vs long and lingering. My husband definitely voted for sudden (although
> at just 45, he would have preferred much later in life and sudden) and
> he told me that if "I ever need someone to wipe my bottom for me, shoot
> me" and this was something what went through my mind a lot in the three
> days that my husband was on a life support machine before it was finally
> accepted by us all that there was no hope and I agreed we should turn it
> off. As much as it hurt to let him die, he would not have liked life
> with brain damage.
>
> "Dying is easy, it is living that is hard"
>
> I'm not sure I totally agree with that, but it is a point to be
> considered.
>
>>
>> Sorry for dumping this.
>
> Don't be sorry! These days are tough and this helped you. Post again if
> you need to and I will read it.
>
>> Anyway, pleas send tips on how to cook for
>> one. How do you inspire yourself to get up and make a meal for one
>> person?
>
> Just accept that it is going to take time and take the time you need. Do
> not work to anyone else's time table or expectations.
>
> Meanwhile, when I left home and lived on my own in a small flat I bought
> myself a paperback called "Microwave cooking for one". I still have it
> somewhere and it gave me loads of ideas which I cooked in the microwave
> or more traditionally.
>
> I still make a chilli based on a recipe in that book although now I only
> use just a little meat (I am mostly veggie nowadays) and loads of both
> green and red lentils. A pot will feed me a two or three times,
> depending on how greedy I am, and I either leave it in the fridge (where
> it improves) and have it on several days changing the accompaniments or
> put a portion in the freezer for another time.
>
> I guess what I am saying is that cooking for yourself need not be a
> compromise and while I never make any of the elaborate meals I read
> about in this group that is more because I do not have the time than
> because I do not have the inclination.
>
> Here's some pressure! Post again and tell us what you do cook. :-)

That was a lovely post, yellow. Thank you for posting.

--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk/shop/

"Janet Wilder" wrote in message
eb.com...

Some of the FB members may have heard, but my husband and best friend
passed away on Sunday. the funeral was on Tuesday in New Jersey as we
had already purchased plots there near my daughter's grave.

I have spent my entire cooking life cooking for other people and now I
just have me. I'm worried that I'll just not cook and then not get good
nutrition.

How do you single folks cook for yourselves? I really need to learn how
to do this.
--

Janet Wilder

~~~~~~
Janet, I am so sorry to hear this. This is the type of occasion where words
truly are inadequate, but I hope it helps you to know that you have many
Internet friends on this group.

I must admit that I really am not much of a cook, and part of the reason
probably is that I cook for one person. However, the process that works
best for me is the old tried-and-true standard of freezing meal-size
portions. Since you are already familiar with cooking for two, I think that
will help. Just continue cooking in the same way, and refrigerate or freeze
one portion. Actually, it is often helpful to have a meal already prepared
in the freezer, so you can just put that in the microwave and not feel the
need to cook every day.

I had shingles, and they were excruciating. So, I'm not sure that there
really are any tips to give you. I was given a prescription for Zovirax,
and the doctor told me that the prescription *might* make the pain and
duration a little less since they had been caught early; but you are past
that stage. Even so, I had such pain for several weeks that I could hardly
even bear to let a sheet touch my back. The doctor did tell me to gently
apply cortisone cream to the pustules, so that might be of some help for
you. It sounds like yours is not quite as severe, possibly because you had
the vaccine.

Again, I am sending my heartfelt sympathy, and I hope you have friends
nearby that can visit.

MaryL

In article >, lid
says...
>
> "Yellow" > wrote in message
> T...

> > I guess what I am saying is that cooking for yourself need not be a
> > compromise and while I never make any of the elaborate meals I read
> > about in this group that is more because I do not have the time than
> > because I do not have the inclination.
> >
> > Here's some pressure! Post again and tell us what you do cook. :-)
>
> That was a lovely post, yellow. Thank you for posting.

Thanks! There is a fine line between just talking about yourself and
listening to what someone else has to say and I hope I did not cross it
but I just wanted to give Janet a tiny morsel of support.

On 6/7/2014 10:49 AM, Yellow wrote:

> My husband definitely voted for sudden (although
> at just 45, he would have preferred much later in life and sudden) and
> he told me that if "I ever need someone to wipe my bottom for me, shoot
> me" and this was something what went through my mind a lot in the three
> days that my husband was on a life support machine before it was finally
> accepted by us all that there was no hope and I agreed we should turn it
> off. As much as it hurt to let him die, he would not have liked life
> with brain damage.

You pretty much just described my father when you relayed your husbands
desire to not have a lingering death. After my father was diagnosed
with cancer, went through treatment, and we pretty much thought he was
well into recovery, he still wasn't eating enough to heal the damage
that had been done to his body. He and my mom had made a pact that if
one of them required life support, the other would not allow it. The
night he passed away, I still can't comprehend how my mother had the
strength to tell the ER doctors not to prolong his life on a machine.
She misses him every day though he's been gone almost 5 years now to the
day. But as time goes on she is becoming stronger and learning how to
live without him. Her volunteering "job" helps her a lot.

--
ღ.¸¸.œ«*¨`*œ¶
Cheryl

On Thursday, June 5, 2014 11:07:35 AM UTC-7, Janet Wilder wrote:

> Some of the FB members may have heard, but my husband and best friend
> passed away on Sunday. the funeral was on Tuesday in New Jersey as we
> had already purchased plots there near my daughter's grave.
>

So sorry for your loss.

>
> I have spent my entire cooking life cooking for other people and now I
> just have me. I'm worried that I'll just not cook and then not get good
> nutrition.
>
> How do you single folks cook for yourselves? I really need to learn how
> to do this.

Along with the advice you have already received, about cooking regular
portions and freezing, I have two suggestions:

Don't cook every night. A friend who has been divorced longer than I have
been married, would always eat two frozen meals of the "Lean Cuisine" or
"Healthy Choice" type for work day dinner. (A single such lo cal meal
was never satisfying.)

Club together with friends in the same boat. When my wife was recovering
and I was busy with work, her friends set up a meal rotation. The idea
was that they were cooking anyway, so they would just increase the number
of portions by two. Make enough food for four, pack up three containers,
and let your friends pick them up. Then you only cook one day out of four,
and are always eating something different. (Yes, you could go to each
others' houses every night, but this way you don't get tired of each other.)


> Sorry for dumping this. Anyway, pleas send tips on how to cook for
> one. How do you inspire yourself to get up and make a meal for one person?
>

Salads with some cooked protein is always good. That's how we use up leftover
steak when we feel like grilling outdoors. Two friends of mine live
mainly off pasta with tomato sauce of some kind.

On 6/7/2014 7:35 PM, wrote:

> Club together with friends in the same boat. When my wife was recovering
> and I was busy with work, her friends set up a meal rotation. The idea
> was that they were cooking anyway, so they would just increase the number
> of portions by two. Make enough food for four, pack up three containers,
> and let your friends pick them up. Then you only cook one day out of four,
> and are always eating something different. (Yes, you could go to each
> others' houses every night, but this way you don't get tired of each other.)

What a nice thing to do!

--
ღ.¸¸.œ«*¨`*œ¶
Cheryl

"Yellow" > wrote in message
T...
> In article >, lid
> says...
>>
>> "Yellow" > wrote in message
>> T...
>
>> > I guess what I am saying is that cooking for yourself need not be a
>> > compromise and while I never make any of the elaborate meals I read
>> > about in this group that is more because I do not have the time than
>> > because I do not have the inclination.
>> >
>> > Here's some pressure! Post again and tell us what you do cook. :-)
>>
>> That was a lovely post, yellow. Thank you for posting.
>
> Thanks! There is a fine line between just talking about yourself and
> listening to what someone else has to say and I hope I did not cross it
> but I just wanted to give Janet a tiny morsel of support.

I think it will have done that.

--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk/shop/

In article om>,
says...
>
> On 6/7/2014 10:49 AM, Yellow wrote:
>
> > My husband definitely voted for sudden (although
> > at just 45, he would have preferred much later in life and sudden) and
> > he told me that if "I ever need someone to wipe my bottom for me, shoot
> > me" and this was something what went through my mind a lot in the three
> > days that my husband was on a life support machine before it was finally
> > accepted by us all that there was no hope and I agreed we should turn it
> > off. As much as it hurt to let him die, he would not have liked life
> > with brain damage.
>
> You pretty much just described my father when you relayed your husbands
> desire to not have a lingering death. After my father was diagnosed
> with cancer, went through treatment, and we pretty much thought he was
> well into recovery, he still wasn't eating enough to heal the damage
> that had been done to his body. He and my mom had made a pact that if
> one of them required life support, the other would not allow it. The
> night he passed away, I still can't comprehend how my mother had the
> strength to tell the ER doctors not to prolong his life on a machine.

Your Mom found the courage she needed to do the right thing for your Dad
because at the end, that is all you can do for them.

> She misses him every day though he's been gone almost 5 years now to the
> day. But as time goes on she is becoming stronger and learning how to
> live without him. Her volunteering "job" helps her a lot.

Yes, the trick is not to even try to "get over them" but to find a way
of living that allows you to cope with the loss - sounds easy doesn't
it, when you write it down. :-)

In article om>,
says...
>
> On 6/7/2014 7:35 PM, wrote:
>
> > Club together with friends in the same boat. When my wife was recovering
> > and I was busy with work, her friends set up a meal rotation. The idea
> > was that they were cooking anyway, so they would just increase the number
> > of portions by two. Make enough food for four, pack up three containers,
> > and let your friends pick them up. Then you only cook one day out of four,
> > and are always eating something different. (Yes, you could go to each
> > others' houses every night, but this way you don't get tired of each other.)
>
> What a nice thing to do!

I thought the same, and immediately added it to the future bucket-list
plan for whichever of us gets left alone. (Swift review of friends who
can really cook, to share with).

Right now we often cook enough to make up a spare portions /pie/soup
for one. We freeze them either for one of us to eat if the other is
away, or to give to an elderly friend who is alone now. She lives in
rather an isolated place and is very independent; at least I know if she
is unwell or can't get out she has something ready in the freezer.

Janet UK