On Sun, 13 Jul 2014 20:57:42 -0400, Cheryl >
wrote:

> I didn't have room for
> dessert but some of them were interesting, including a Twinkie cake. lol

Had to look that one up because I'd never heard of it before.

--
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.

"Ed Pawlowski" > wrote in message
...
> On 7/13/2014 1:21 AM, Julie Bove wrote:
>>
>> "Brooklyn1" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>> Cheryl wrote:
>>>>
>>>> My niece and her boyfriend just bought a house together and are
>>>> expecting a baby, so this housewarming will be lots of fun checking out
>>>> their new home.
>>>
>>> Having a child out of wedlock is bad enough, buying a house jointly
>>> without the benefit of marriage is insanity... don't spend too much on
>>> the housewarming gift... odds are their relationship won't last a
>>> year, nothing is more stressful for a young couple than owning a
>>> house. I would suggest first a wedding gift, then wait until after
>>> the baby is born to buy a house... with a newborn there is no way to
>>> predict what expenses one may incur. And they're not sure they even
>>> like each other. I feel sorry for the baby, there are already way too
>>> many baby-daddys. This is not an event to celebrate, family and
>>> friends should be in mourning.
>>
>> Oh for Pete's sake! Not everyone wants to get married.
>
> Happily married for 48+ years, I'd not change a thing. For us.
>
> OTOH, if I was starting over I'm not as sure. I definitely would not buy
> property jointly with anyone I'm not married to though. Nor would I
> re-marry and risk losing what I have after a short time and a split.
> Pre-nup for sure.

Wise! I could never marry again. I could never replace what I have now.

--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk/shop/

"Cheryl" > wrote in message
eb.com...
> On 7/12/2014 7:57 AM, Ophelia wrote:
>>
>>
>> "Cheryl" > wrote in message
>
>>>>
>>> Oh, and I cut the corn on the cob into ~2" pieces so there is enough
>>> to go around, and is easier to handle.
>>
>> Hmmm will it be *only* for family? ;-)
>
> It turned out to be all family. We met my niece's boyfriend's parents,
> and the rest were all family we knew. The party went on way later than I
> was able to stick around. It was so hot out and the flies were a nuisance.
> It was a lot of fun and most everything was cooked on the grill except
> for a few sides and the desserts. I didn't have room for dessert but some
> of them were interesting, including a Twinkie cake. lol

<g> I am very pleased you enjoyed it)


--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk/shop/

On 7/14/2014 12:03 AM, sf wrote:
> On Sun, 13 Jul 2014 18:06:59 -0400, Ed Pawlowski > wrote:
>
>> OTOH, if I was starting over I'm not as sure. I definitely would not
>> buy property jointly with anyone I'm not married to though.
>
> Agree.
>
>> Nor would I re-marry and risk losing what I have after a short time and a split.
>
> That's a tricky one, but there are ways to avoid that.
>
>> Pre-nup for sure.
>
> Probably the best idea if you're trying to protect your assets for
> heirs by a previous marriage.
>
Heirs or not... a pre-nup means the new spouse can't demand half of
everything after only a few months. If I ever got married again I would
insist on a pre-nup.

Being married isn't a guarantee, either. My ex-husband and I bought a
washer & dryer, a dinette set, some other furniture. When we split he
sold all of it, then moved so the creditors couldn't find him. They
came after me. Fortunately I had a clearly defined and signed legal
property settlement showing I did not possess those items. The
creditors backed off. I have no idea if they ever found him.

Jill

wrote:
>
> On Sun, 13 Jul 2014 21:06:07 -0400, Cheryl >
> wrote:
>
> >On 7/13/2014 6:06 PM, Ed Pawlowski wrote:
> >
> >> Happily married for 48+ years, I'd not change a thing. For us.
> >
> >That's great!
> >>
> >> OTOH, if I was starting over I'm not as sure. I definitely would not
> >> buy property jointly with anyone I'm not married to though. Nor would I
> >> re-marry and risk losing what I have after a short time and a split.
> >> Pre-nup for sure.
> >
> >Same here. I own my home and not willing at this point to share it with
> >anyone, and I really don't want to sell just to buy something with
> >someone else. Yet.
>
> The longer you go, the less likely it will be. I've been widowed now
> over twenty years after a long, happy marriage. At this point, I
> wouldn't even consider it, there could be no improvement over doing
> just exactly what I want, when I want

That's me too. I've been divorced for 25 years or so. I'm so set in my
ways now, I'd really have to fall head over heals in love to get
married again. I'm quite content to live alone (with ferret)

G.

Ophelia wrote:
>
> Wise! I could never marry again. I could never replace what I have now.

And in my opinion, you don't need to replace that one special person.
I personally can (and do) live with the memories of what was once
ideal.

G.

On 7/14/2014 12:08 AM, sf wrote:
> On Sun, 13 Jul 2014 19:10:58 -0400, Nancy Young

>> make your money back. I told Ron he shouldn't waste too
>> much time finding someone new if I croak,
>>
> I am reminded of my son in laws grandfather and the woman he's married
> to who were 86 when I met them. She was widowed once, he was widowed
> twice. She told me they met and married in six months.

Seems reasonable to me.

> I must have
> looked shocked because she looked at me and said very matter of factly
> "At our age, we don't have time to fool around!" That says it all.
>

Heh. I guess they didn't have to agree about having kids, or
where they'd move for each other's job.

nancy

On Sun, 13 Jul 2014 21:02:53 -0400, Cheryl wrote:

> It was all great. One of the big hits was two kinds of stuffed chili
> peppers. One with crab, and the other I'm not sure, but they were bacon
> wrapped.

Crab stuffed chili peppers sound very tempting!

Tara

On 7/14/2014 1:52 PM, Tara wrote:
> On Sun, 13 Jul 2014 21:02:53 -0400, Cheryl wrote:
>
>> It was all great. One of the big hits was two kinds of stuffed chili
>> peppers. One with crab, and the other I'm not sure, but they were bacon
>> wrapped.
>
> Crab stuffed chili peppers sound very tempting!
>
> Tara
>
What are chili peppers? Are they habaneros, jalapenos or something else?

--
Jim Silverton (Potomac, MD)

Extraneous "not." in Reply To.

In article >, says...

> That's me too. I've been divorced for 25 years or so. I'm so set in my
> ways now, I'd really have to fall head over heals in love to get
> married again. I'm quite content to live alone (with ferret)

Dont worry Gary; I'm pretty sure that sleeping with a ferret will keep you
single for ever :-)


Janet UK

On 7/14/2014 6:46 AM, wrote:

> Great - good idea for both families to meet and get to know each
> other. They are simply doing what so many young people do today and
> we might as well get used to it because I don't think they will change
> because some disapprove

Exactly. It's their choice and my brother and sister in law aren't about
to tell them what to do. They're adults.

--
ღ.¸¸.œ«*¨`*œ¶
Cheryl

On 7/14/2014 2:02 PM, James Silverton wrote:

> On 7/14/2014 1:52 PM, Tara wrote:
>> On Sun, 13 Jul 2014 21:02:53 -0400, Cheryl wrote:
>>
>>> It was all great. One of the big hits was two kinds of stuffed chili
>>> peppers. One with crab, and the other I'm not sure, but they were bacon
>>> wrapped.
>>
>> Crab stuffed chili peppers sound very tempting!
>>
>> Tara
>>
> What are chili peppers? Are they habaneros, jalapenos or something else?
>

I didn't specify because I'm not sure, but I think they were jalapenos.

--
ღ.¸¸.œ«*¨`*œ¶
Cheryl

On 7/14/2014 9:47 AM, jmcquown wrote:
>
> Being married isn't a guarantee, either. My ex-husband and I bought a
> washer & dryer, a dinette set, some other furniture. When we split he
> sold all of it, then moved so the creditors couldn't find him. They
> came after me. Fortunately I had a clearly defined and signed legal
> property settlement showing I did not possess those items. The
> creditors backed off. I have no idea if they ever found him.

When my husband and I split, he took the house, then went into
foreclosure after a couple of years. Even though I had nothing to do
with the house anymore, my credit was ruined for several years. I had to
work hard to get it to where it is now.

--
ღ.¸¸.œ«*¨`*œ¶
Cheryl

On 7/14/2014 8:43 PM, Cheryl wrote:
> On 7/14/2014 9:47 AM, jmcquown wrote:
>>
>> Being married isn't a guarantee, either. My ex-husband and I bought a
>> washer & dryer, a dinette set, some other furniture. When we split he
>> sold all of it, then moved so the creditors couldn't find him. They
>> came after me. Fortunately I had a clearly defined and signed legal
>> property settlement showing I did not possess those items. The
>> creditors backed off. I have no idea if they ever found him.
>
> When my husband and I split, he took the house, then went into
> foreclosure after a couple of years. Even though I had nothing to do
> with the house anymore, my credit was ruined for several years. I had to
> work hard to get it to where it is now.
>
I was 24 when I got divorced so I really wasn't thinking about credit
scores. I'm sure you're right that it had an affect on mine.
Although, thinking back, I was able to secure a bank loan (at a very
decent interest rate, IIRC) for my first-ever brand new car within a
year of the divorce, so maybe not.

The companies we jointly purchased the household items from recognized
my husband had signed the property agreement acknowledging I was not in
possession of any that stuff. In fact, the only things the property
agreement listed that *I* took with me were my clothes, my jewelry and
my little dog, Sampson. (Yep, Sammy was in the property settlement.)

I doubt my ex-husband even bothered to read what he was signing. He was
in a snit; he thought he'd somehow be getting back at me by signing the
divorce papers. I was thrilled! when my lawyer called to say he'd
signed everything. :-D

Jill

On Sunday, July 13, 2014 5:34:22 AM UTC-5, wrote:
> On Sat, 12 Jul 2014 22:00:00 -0400, Dave Smith
>
> > wrote:
>
>
>
> >On 2014-07-12 21:47, Ed Pawlowski wrote:
>
> >> On 7/12/2014 8:59 PM, Brooklyn1 wrote:
>
> >>
>
> >>> Celebrating a shack up is as sick as sick gets... l don't understand
>
> >>> how someone would be so proud and unashamed of such dreck to start a
>
> >>> thread about losers... no couth/no brains.
>
> >>>
>
> >>
>
> >> It is becoming commonplace. About 50% of marriages break up, it is
>
> >> probably even higher with shackups.
>
> >>
>
> >> Plenty of babies along the way too. It is not 1950 any more.
>
> >
>
> >
>
> >Funny how some traditions, like the housewarming party, baby showers etc
>
> >are still in fashion. Getting married, honouring the commitment and
>
> >having babies only when married... not so much.
>
>
>
> Everyone likes a party, nothing funny about that! Getting married ???
>
> Who started that tradition ? Likely fathers organising dynastic
>
> marriages for daughters, churches yes, but highly unlikely it was a
>
> tradition started by women.

I agree with what you wrote, and the other comments down-thread are
drivel. Destroy the patriarchcy, and all the institutions that
support it. Oh, and shove a hot curling iron up Sheldon's ass and
fry him to death from the inside.
the inside.

--Bryan

On Monday, July 14, 2014 5:32:17 AM UTC-5, wrote:
> On Sun, 13 Jul 2014 20:34:33 -0400, Brooklyn1
>
> > wrote:
>
>
>
> >Dave Smith wrote:
>
> wrote:
>
> >>>> Funny how some traditions, like the housewarming party, baby showers etc
>
> >>>> are still in fashion. Getting married, honouring the commitment and
>
> >>>> having babies only when married... not so much.
>
> >>>
>
> >>> Everyone likes a party, nothing funny about that! Getting married ???
>
> >>> Who started that tradition ? Likely fathers organising dynastic
>
> >>> marriages for daughters, churches yes, but highly unlikely it was a
>
> >>> tradition started by women.
>
> >>
>
> >>I guess that helps to explain why grooms spend so much time and energy
>
> >>organizing those wonderful storybook weddings. The flower arrangements
>
> >>are especially fun to plan.
>
> >
>
> >I seriously doubt males give a hoot about wedding receptions unless
>
> >it's a *** (faggot) hair dresser... of course gays are males
>
> >(biologically), but they are NOT men.
>
>
>
> You always seem to have such a problem with gays, makes me wonder
>
> about you...

Sheldon is a misogynist as well as a homophobe. His wife must be the
filthiest, least self-respecting maggot on the planet. Oh, wait, all
he has are cats. No decent woman would want to be with his ass.

--Bryan

On Monday, July 14, 2014 4:25:08 PM UTC-5, janet wrote:
> In article >, says...
>
>
>
> > That's me too. I've been divorced for 25 years or so. I'm so set in my
>
> > ways now, I'd really have to fall head over heals in love to get
>
> > married again. I'm quite content to live alone (with ferret)
>
God, I hated not having a steady girlfriend/wife. I almost shudder
thinking about it.
>
> Dont worry Gary; I'm pretty sure that sleeping with a ferret
> will keep you single for ever :-)
>
LOL!
>
> Janet UK

--Bryan

On Mon, 14 Jul 2014 20:43:45 -0400, Cheryl >
wrote:

> When my husband and I split, he took the house, then went into
> foreclosure after a couple of years. Even though I had nothing to do
> with the house anymore, my credit was ruined for several years. I had to
> work hard to get it to where it is now.
>

How does that happen? I'm so clueless about divorce. The only thing
I know is that it's easy for one to pretend to be the other (I won't
say "steal the other's identity") when their names are virtually the
same.


--
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.

On Mon, 14 Jul 2014 18:51:22 -0700 (PDT), Bryan-TGWWW
> wrote:

> Sheldon is a misogynist as well as a homophobe. His wife must be the
> filthiest, least self-respecting maggot on the planet. Oh, wait, all
> he has are cats. No decent woman would want to be with his ass.

She divorced his sorry ass.

--
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.

On 2014-07-14 22:13, sf wrote:
> On Mon, 14 Jul 2014 20:43:45 -0400, Cheryl >
> wrote:
>
>> When my husband and I split, he took the house, then went into
>> foreclosure after a couple of years. Even though I had nothing to do
>> with the house anymore, my credit was ruined for several years. I had to
>> work hard to get it to where it is now.
>>
>
> How does that happen? I'm so clueless about divorce. The only thing
> I know is that it's easy for one to pretend to be the other (I won't
> say "steal the other's identity") when their names are virtually the
> same.
>


It is easy to understand. Ex spouses are complete losers, dedicate their
lives to destroying the person they were once married to... and vice versa.

On 7/14/2014 10:13 PM, sf wrote:
> On Mon, 14 Jul 2014 20:43:45 -0400, Cheryl >
> wrote:
>
>> When my husband and I split, he took the house, then went into
>> foreclosure after a couple of years. Even though I had nothing to do
>> with the house anymore, my credit was ruined for several years. I had to
>> work hard to get it to where it is now.
>>
>
> How does that happen? I'm so clueless about divorce. The only thing
> I know is that it's easy for one to pretend to be the other (I won't
> say "steal the other's identity") when their names are virtually the
> same.

Perhaps her name was still on the mortgage.

nancy

On Mon, 14 Jul 2014 22:31:14 -0400, Nancy Young
> wrote:

> On 7/14/2014 10:13 PM, sf wrote:
> > On Mon, 14 Jul 2014 20:43:45 -0400, Cheryl >
> > wrote:
> >
> >> When my husband and I split, he took the house, then went into
> >> foreclosure after a couple of years. Even though I had nothing to do
> >> with the house anymore, my credit was ruined for several years. I had to
> >> work hard to get it to where it is now.
> >>
> >
> > How does that happen? I'm so clueless about divorce. The only thing
> > I know is that it's easy for one to pretend to be the other (I won't
> > say "steal the other's identity") when their names are virtually the
> > same.
>
> Perhaps her name was still on the mortgage.
>
The one I know about didn't involve shared property like a house (they
didn't own one together), but opening charge accounts, taking out
small loans, cell phone contracts etc using the other person's
identity happened.


--
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.

On 15/07/2014 6:26 AM, wrote:

win/win
> I think.
>
IME only for the parents!
Graham

janet wrote:
>
> In article >, says...
>
> > That's me too. I've been divorced for 25 years or so. I'm so set in my
> > ways now, I'd really have to fall head over heals in love to get
> > married again. I'm quite content to live alone (with ferret)
>
> Dont worry Gary; I'm pretty sure that sleeping with a ferret will keep you
> single for ever :-)

Probably so but yet, not a problem at all.

G.

On 7/14/2014 10:31 PM, Nancy Young wrote:
> On 7/14/2014 10:13 PM, sf wrote:
>> On Mon, 14 Jul 2014 20:43:45 -0400, Cheryl >
>> wrote:
>>
>>> When my husband and I split, he took the house, then went into
>>> foreclosure after a couple of years. Even though I had nothing to do
>>> with the house anymore, my credit was ruined for several years. I had to
>>> work hard to get it to where it is now.
>>>
>>
>> How does that happen? I'm so clueless about divorce. The only thing
>> I know is that it's easy for one to pretend to be the other (I won't
>> say "steal the other's identity") when their names are virtually the
>> same.
>
> Perhaps her name was still on the mortgage.
>
> nancy
>
That's what it was. Since there was a mortgage, there was no way to get
my name off of it unless it was refinanced, and no bank would deal with
him. I didn't know anything about finances at that time, so I didn't
give it any thought until I started getting notices about late or
missing payments and anything I tried to get a loan for was denied.

--
ღ.¸¸.œ«*¨`*œ¶
Cheryl

On 7/16/2014 8:54 PM, Cheryl wrote:
> On 7/14/2014 10:31 PM, Nancy Young wrote:
>> On 7/14/2014 10:13 PM, sf wrote:
>>>
>>> How does that happen? I'm so clueless about divorce. The only thing
>>> I know is that it's easy for one to pretend to be the other (I won't
>>> say "steal the other's identity") when their names are virtually the
>>> same.

Late to comment, but I don't know about identity theft via divorce. One
of the BIG things in my divorce decree was I went back to my maiden
name. (I'd have done that for myself even if we'd had a child;
thankfully I was in charge of that department.)

>>
>> Perhaps her name was still on the mortgage.
>>
>> nancy
>>
> That's what it was. Since there was a mortgage, there was no way to get
> my name off of it unless it was refinanced, and no bank would deal with
> him. I didn't know anything about finances at that time, so I didn't
> give it any thought until I started getting notices about late or
> missing payments and anything I tried to get a loan for was denied.
>
I'm very sorry you had to deal with that. What would be/would have been
*ideal* is if the divorce court system could impose a legal order to
remove your name from the mortgage as part of the divorce decree. Any
default in payments is not your responsibility because you no longer
live there. In a perfect world, eh?

Jill

"jmcquown" > wrote in message
...
> On 7/16/2014 8:54 PM, Cheryl wrote:
>> On 7/14/2014 10:31 PM, Nancy Young wrote:
>>> On 7/14/2014 10:13 PM, sf wrote:
>>>>
>>>> How does that happen? I'm so clueless about divorce. The only thing
>>>> I know is that it's easy for one to pretend to be the other (I won't
>>>> say "steal the other's identity") when their names are virtually the
>>>> same.
>
> Late to comment, but I don't know about identity theft via divorce. One
> of the BIG things in my divorce decree was I went back to my maiden name.
> (I'd have done that for myself even if we'd had a child; thankfully I was
> in charge of that department.)
>
>>>
>>> Perhaps her name was still on the mortgage.
>>>
>>> nancy
>>>
>> That's what it was. Since there was a mortgage, there was no way to get
>> my name off of it unless it was refinanced, and no bank would deal with
>> him. I didn't know anything about finances at that time, so I didn't
>> give it any thought until I started getting notices about late or
>> missing payments and anything I tried to get a loan for was denied.
>>
> I'm very sorry you had to deal with that. What would be/would have been
> *ideal* is if the divorce court system could impose a legal order to
> remove your name from the mortgage as part of the divorce decree. Any
> default in payments is not your responsibility because you no longer live
> there. In a perfect world, eh?
>

Not such a perfect idea if you are the lender who looked to BOTH spouses
when they made the loan. Jeez, do you event think?

On 7/16/2014 8:54 PM, Cheryl wrote:
> On 7/14/2014 10:31 PM, Nancy Young wrote:

>> Perhaps her name was still on the mortgage.

> That's what it was. Since there was a mortgage, there was no way to get
> my name off of it unless it was refinanced, and no bank would deal with
> him. I didn't know anything about finances at that time, so I didn't
> give it any thought until I started getting notices about late or
> missing payments and anything I tried to get a loan for was denied.

That's a really hard way to learn that lesson, sorry that happened
to you.

It's also what your lawyer was supposed to warn you about, make
the ex sell the place if he couldn't get it financed under his name.
You wound up taking the hit anyway, as it turns out, even if he
couldn't sell it.

nancy