On Friday, August 8, 2014 7:51:59 PM UTC-4, Cheri wrote:
> "jmcquown" > wrote in message
>
> ...
>
> > On 8/8/2014 6:48 PM, Cheri wrote:
>
> >>
>
> >> "jmcquown" > wrote in message
>
> >> ...
>
> >>
>
> >>> I left Peaches with my middle brother when I came here to SC with my
>
> >>> cat. I didn't have the heart to keep Persia boarded for who knew how
>
> >>> much longer. (Plus I needed some more clothes. It's hard living out
>
> >>> of a suitcase.) I fully expected to go back to TN... That didn't
>
> >>> happen. I have no idea where Peaches is, now. My brother and I don't
>
> >>> speak. I don't know if he gave her away or took her with him when he
>
> >>> moved to someplace in Texas.
>
> >>>
>
> >>> Jill
>
> >>
>
> >> I'm sorry you have that going on with your brother. :-(
>
> >>
>
> >> Cheri
>
> >
>
> > Thanks, but your sympathy is really unfounded. He's a greedy SOB who
>
> > cheated me out of $11,000 in taxes due on an annuity I split with him and
>
> > my oldest brother. Mom's lawyer told me I didn't have to give them 1/3 of
>
> > the money but I was trying to adhere to her wishes. Then I got stuck with
>
> > the tax bill.
>
> >
>
> > This brother also expected me to sell the house and split the proceeds
>
> > with him. Mom's lawyer told him even if I sold the house he wasn't
>
> > entitled to a dime of it. He threated to contest the Will. Her lawyer
>
> > basically said "Knock yourself out and waste your money; I'll be
>
> > testifying on Jill's behalf. I'm the one who drew up the Will and I know
>
> > what your mother wanted." I haven't heard from him since he collected his
>
> > money and split. To somewhere in Texas. Good riddance.
>
> >
>
> > Jill
>
>
>
> I'm sure you have good reasons, I just always find it sad when family
>
> members are estranged, nothing more.

I know at LEAST 5 sets of siblings who aren't talking because of a fight over the parents' assets. Each one thinks the other one 'robbed' them. I know one guy who's spent 50K in legal fees fighting a brother who claims blah blah blah. It's too bad, but it seems to be more common lately.


>
> Cheri

On 2014-08-09 21:09, Kalmia wrote:

>
> I know at LEAST 5 sets of siblings who aren't talking because of a
> fight over the parents' assets. Each one thinks the other one
> 'robbed' them. I know one guy who's spent 50K in legal fees fighting
> a brother who claims blah blah blah. It's too bad, but it seems to
> be more common lately.
>

It happens all the time. That is why it is important for parents to
treat their children equally. My idiot oldest brother was upset to
learn that my father had not left the house to him, since we was the
eldest son. My other two brothers and I had not previously seen the
will, but he had assumed that he would leave everything to our mother.
That just seemed like the right thing, and it is exactly what he did.

When my mother sold the house and moved into a condo she told us that if
we wanted anything of Dad's to come and come and get it, that she was
counting on us to cleat the house out for her. I was about to leave for
Europe for three weeks and was not able to make it there for over a
month. Another brother made the two hour trip to come down the day I
went there. We called the oldest on three times to get his butt over
there. He said he was coming but he never showed up. Later on he
complained that he never got his share. Go figger.

On 8/8/2014 7:51 PM, Cheri wrote:
> I'm sure you have good reasons, I just always find it sad when family
> members are estranged, nothing more.
>
> Cheri

I found it sad to discover he was more interested in money than anything
else. He and I used to get along very well. I taught him how to cook
when the only thing he could do was grill some steaks and bake a couple
of potatoes. Oh well.

Jill

On 8/9/2014 8:09 PM, Kalmia wrote:

>> I'm sure you have good reasons, I just always find it sad when family
>>
>> members are estranged, nothing more.
>
> I know at LEAST 5 sets of siblings who aren't talking because of a fight over the parents' assets. Each one thinks the other one 'robbed' them. I know one guy who's spent 50K in legal fees fighting a brother who claims blah blah blah. It's too bad, but it seems to be more common lately.
>

Trusts and estates were my business before retiring early to become a
road warrior. At one time I worked for the most prestigious firm in that
field in New Jersey. The guy I worked for actually wrote the state
Probate Practices book. I co-authored a book on New Jersey Inheritance
Taxes and practices with an attorney friend.

I can tell you stories of entire fortunes being dissipated by angry
siblings. No one ever wins except the lawyers in these cases.

People who have a lot of assets should ALWAYS go to the best estate
planning lawyers. I guaranty they will pay less in legal fees to draft a
good estate plan than their children will pay in lawyers fees to fight a
bad one.

When I did my first will, after divorcing the father of my children, I
left my jewelry and personal effects to my two (they were both living
then) daughters. I directed my executor that should there be any
disagreement between them, he was to take the property, sell it and
donate the proceeds to the charity of my choice. If you can't play
nicely, you get nothing. Mommy from the grave. :-)

The will was a gift from an attorney I had worked with and helped to
build up his probate practice.


--
From somewhere very deep in the heart of Texas

On 8/9/2014 9:26 PM, jmcquown wrote:
> On 8/8/2014 7:51 PM, Cheri wrote:
>> I'm sure you have good reasons, I just always find it sad when family
>> members are estranged, nothing more.

> I found it sad to discover he was more interested in money than anything
> else. He and I used to get along very well. I taught him how to cook
> when the only thing he could do was grill some steaks and bake a couple
> of potatoes. Oh well.

It's a shame. I remember he made the trip there to try to
convince your father to sign everything over to him. Your dad
might have been confused but he was still shrewd enough to know
something wasn't right.

nancy

On 09/08/2014 7:39 PM, Janet Wilder wrote:
> On 8/9/2014 8:09 PM, Kalmia wrote:
>
>>> I'm sure you have good reasons, I just always find it sad when family
>>>
>>> members are estranged, nothing more.
>>
>> I know at LEAST 5 sets of siblings who aren't talking because of a
>> fight over the parents' assets. Each one thinks the other one
>> 'robbed' them. I know one guy who's spent 50K in legal fees fighting
>> a brother who claims blah blah blah. It's too bad, but it seems to be
>> more common lately.
>>
>
> Trusts and estates were my business before retiring early to become a
> road warrior. At one time I worked for the most prestigious firm in that
> field in New Jersey. The guy I worked for actually wrote the state
> Probate Practices book. I co-authored a book on New Jersey Inheritance
> Taxes and practices with an attorney friend.
>
> I can tell you stories of entire fortunes being dissipated by angry
> siblings. No one ever wins except the lawyers in these cases.
>

Jarndyce v. Jarndyce!

It has hit two of my cousins very recently over their mother's estate.
The elder (a real bitch who bad-mouthed her mother at the funeral) took
it to court and the judge ordered everything to be auctioned and hit her
with the legal costs.
My 2 sons have VERY different personalities and don't see eye-to-eye.
Therefore, I have set it up so there should be no arguments.
Graham

On 2014-08-09 21:39, Janet Wilder wrote:
>
> I can tell you stories of entire fortunes being dissipated by angry
> siblings. No one ever wins except the lawyers in these cases.
>
> People who have a lot of assets should ALWAYS go to the best estate
> planning lawyers. I guaranty they will pay less in legal fees to draft a
> good estate plan than their children will pay in lawyers fees to fight a
> bad one.
>
> When I did my first will, after divorcing the father of my children, I
> left my jewelry and personal effects to my two (they were both living
> then) daughters. I directed my executor that should there be any
> disagreement between them, he was to take the property, sell it and
> donate the proceeds to the charity of my choice. If you can't play
> nicely, you get nothing. Mommy from the grave. :-)
>

My wife's late brother had a habit of procrastinating and had talked
about changing his will. He had a share in a piece of property that was
being devloped and a chalet a few doors down from a ski resort. He was
trying to figure a way to leave it to his kids at some sort of trust. He
never got around to it and dropped dead at the age of 61. Since he never
changed his will everything went to his ex wife. When the investment
property was sold she got somewhere in the range of $1million. The
chalet is probably worth close to that now.

On 8/9/2014 10:00 PM, Nancy Young wrote:
> On 8/9/2014 9:26 PM, jmcquown wrote:
>> On 8/8/2014 7:51 PM, Cheri wrote:
>>> I'm sure you have good reasons, I just always find it sad when family
>>> members are estranged, nothing more.
>
>> I found it sad to discover he was more interested in money than anything
>> else. He and I used to get along very well. I taught him how to cook
>> when the only thing he could do was grill some steaks and bake a couple
>> of potatoes. Oh well.
>
> It's a shame. I remember he made the trip there to try to
> convince your father to sign everything over to him. Your dad
> might have been confused but he was still shrewd enough to know
> something wasn't right.
>
> nancy
>
Oh yeah. Dad called me on the phone in TN and told me. "You tell your
brother to stop calling me about my Will!" He wasn't totally confused.
I think he'd been seriously mislead with his high opinion Bro and
realized it.

I don't know what my brother expected. Dad had a Will. Dad just didn't
tell him he had one. Crazy like a fox, as they say.

He left everything to Mom. As it should be. Bro was pleased as punch
to find Dad had named him Executor... why, I don't know. It didn't
entitle him to anything, which I'm sure he soon discovered. Everything
passed right to Mom and he couldn't touch a dime.

Meanwhile, I'm the one who had to chase down the insurance policies,
most of which Dad had let lapse. I'm the one who had to run around with
our mother, changing things like bank info and the utility bill, phone
service, DMV registration, from both their names to only hers. "Mr.
Executor" didn't lift a finger to deal with any of that stuff.

The real kicker came when he asked me to reschedule Dad's funeral. He
couldn't get off work. Excuse me? You're some hotshot VP and you can't
tell them sorry, gotta go, my dad died? No, you need to reschedule the
funeral, Jill. Sure, that's easily done. Oh, Sorry, cancel the Full
Military Honors funeral. We need to change the date because he can't
get out of a friggin' meeting.

Yes, I'm plenty angry with him. It's not necessarily about the money.
It's about how callous he turned out to be.

Jill

On 8/9/2014 9:39 PM, Janet Wilder wrote:

> Trusts and estates were my business before retiring early to become a
> road warrior. At one time I worked for the most prestigious firm in that
> field in New Jersey. The guy I worked for actually wrote the state
> Probate Practices book. I co-authored a book on New Jersey Inheritance
> Taxes and practices with an attorney friend.

Awesome. Probate here is much easier than in a certain
neighboring state I could mention.

> I can tell you stories of entire fortunes being dissipated by angry
> siblings. No one ever wins except the lawyers in these cases.

Knock wood I don't ever have to deal with anything like that.

> People who have a lot of assets should ALWAYS go to the best estate
> planning lawyers. I guaranty they will pay less in legal fees to draft a
> good estate plan than their children will pay in lawyers fees to fight a
> bad one.
>
> When I did my first will, after divorcing the father of my children, I
> left my jewelry and personal effects to my two (they were both living
> then) daughters. I directed my executor that should there be any
> disagreement between them, he was to take the property, sell it and
> donate the proceeds to the charity of my choice. If you can't play
> nicely, you get nothing. Mommy from the grave. :-)

I love that. And maybe that way, once everything is said and
done, your daughters will still be sisters to each other. That's
the best inheritance.

nancy

On 8/9/2014 9:22 PM, jmcquown wrote:

> He left everything to Mom. As it should be. Bro was pleased as punch
> to find Dad had named him Executor... why, I don't know. It didn't
> entitle him to anything, which I'm sure he soon discovered. Everything
> passed right to Mom and he couldn't touch a dime.

In most states, the executor is entitled to a statutory commission on
the assets of the estate. If he didn't know enought to take it, the
better his punishment for being a jerk.
--
From somewhere very deep in the heart of Texas

On 8/9/2014 9:40 PM, Nancy Young wrote:
> On 8/9/2014 9:39 PM, Janet Wilder wrote:
>
>> Trusts and estates were my business before retiring early to become a
>> road warrior. At one time I worked for the most prestigious firm in that
>> field in New Jersey. The guy I worked for actually wrote the state
>> Probate Practices book. I co-authored a book on New Jersey Inheritance
>> Taxes and practices with an attorney friend.
>
> Awesome. Probate here is much easier than in a certain
> neighboring state I could mention.
>
>> I can tell you stories of entire fortunes being dissipated by angry
>> siblings. No one ever wins except the lawyers in these cases.
>
> Knock wood I don't ever have to deal with anything like that.
>
>> People who have a lot of assets should ALWAYS go to the best estate
>> planning lawyers. I guaranty they will pay less in legal fees to draft a
>> good estate plan than their children will pay in lawyers fees to fight a
>> bad one.
>>
>> When I did my first will, after divorcing the father of my children, I
>> left my jewelry and personal effects to my two (they were both living
>> then) daughters. I directed my executor that should there be any
>> disagreement between them, he was to take the property, sell it and
>> donate the proceeds to the charity of my choice. If you can't play
>> nicely, you get nothing. Mommy from the grave. :-)
>
> I love that. And maybe that way, once everything is said and
> done, your daughters will still be sisters to each other. That's
> the best inheritance.

Unfortunately, I lost my youngest in an auto accident in 1996. There is
only one daughter left and three granddaughters. I left my jewelry to
her, but I know she will be generous in sharing it with the
granddaughters, maybe even the two step-granddaughters, is they remain
in touch.


--
From somewhere very deep in the heart of Texas

On 8/10/2014 10:33 AM, Janet Wilder wrote:
> On 8/9/2014 9:40 PM, Nancy Young wrote:

>> I love that. And maybe that way, once everything is said and
>> done, your daughters will still be sisters to each other. That's
>> the best inheritance.
>
> Unfortunately, I lost my youngest in an auto accident in 1996.

Foot, meet mouth.

I'm terribly sorry, I thought this was a relatively recent
thing with the will.

> There is
> only one daughter left and three granddaughters. I left my jewelry to
> her, but I know she will be generous in sharing it with the
> granddaughters, maybe even the two step-granddaughters, is they remain
> in touch.

So you're not like this woman I once worked with, she had
tons of expensive jewelry, huge diamonds ... and insists she
will be buried with it all. Leave it to her daughters? Nope,
buried with it.

nancy

In article >,
says...

> So you're not like this woman I once worked with, she had
> tons of expensive jewelry, huge diamonds ... and insists she
> will be buried with it all. Leave it to her daughters? Nope,
> buried with it.


She'd be lucky. My bet is the daughters are already collecting a
stash of cheap bling ready for the coffin... and if they don't make the
swap I bet the undertakers will :-)

Janet UK

On 8/10/2014 10:39 AM, Nancy Young wrote:
> So you're not like this woman I once worked with, she had
> tons of expensive jewelry, huge diamonds ... and insists she
> will be buried with it all. Leave it to her daughters? Nope,
> buried with it.
>
> nancy

Huh, I didn't think they did that anymore. Grave-robbing used to be a
bit of a problem back in the days when people insisted on being buried
with their best jewels. Of course, I'm talking 100 years ago...

Jill

On 8/10/2014 9:39 AM, Nancy Young wrote:
> On 8/10/2014 10:33 AM, Janet Wilder wrote:
>> On 8/9/2014 9:40 PM, Nancy Young wrote:
>
>>> I love that. And maybe that way, once everything is said and
>>> done, your daughters will still be sisters to each other. That's
>>> the best inheritance.
>>
>> Unfortunately, I lost my youngest in an auto accident in 1996.
>
> Foot, meet mouth.
>
> I'm terribly sorry, I thought this was a relatively recent
> thing with the will.
>
> > There is
>> only one daughter left and three granddaughters. I left my jewelry to
>> her, but I know she will be generous in sharing it with the
>> granddaughters, maybe even the two step-granddaughters, is they remain
>> in touch.
>
> So you're not like this woman I once worked with, she had
> tons of expensive jewelry, huge diamonds ... and insists she
> will be buried with it all. Leave it to her daughters? Nope,
> buried with it.
>
> nancy
>
>

Buried with jewelry is just plain silly.

--
From somewhere very deep in the heart of Texas

On 8/10/2014 10:31 AM, Janet Wilder wrote:
> On 8/9/2014 9:22 PM, jmcquown wrote:
>
>> He left everything to Mom. As it should be. Bro was pleased as punch
>> to find Dad had named him Executor... why, I don't know. It didn't
>> entitle him to anything, which I'm sure he soon discovered. Everything
>> passed right to Mom and he couldn't touch a dime.
>
> In most states, the executor is entitled to a statutory commission on
> the assets of the estate. If he didn't know enought to take it, the
> better his punishment for being a jerk.

I guess he didn't know. I honestly think he believed being the Executor
would grant him automatic access to their accounts.

Jill

On 8/10/2014 11:50 AM, Janet wrote:
> In article >,
> says...
>
>> So you're not like this woman I once worked with, she had
>> tons of expensive jewelry, huge diamonds ... and insists she
>> will be buried with it all. Leave it to her daughters? Nope,
>> buried with it.
>
>
> She'd be lucky. My bet is the daughters are already collecting a
> stash of cheap bling ready for the coffin... and if they don't make the
> swap I bet the undertakers will :-)

My thoughts exactly. Just as well, let someone somewhere enjoy
the stuff instead of being in the ground.

I know, it's hers to do with as she pleased.

nancy

On 8/10/2014 11:29 AM, Nancy Young wrote:
> On 8/10/2014 11:50 AM, Janet wrote:
>> In article >,
>> says...
>>
>>> So you're not like this woman I once worked with, she had
>>> tons of expensive jewelry, huge diamonds ... and insists she
>>> will be buried with it all. Leave it to her daughters? Nope,
>>> buried with it.
>>
>>
>> She'd be lucky. My bet is the daughters are already collecting a
>> stash of cheap bling ready for the coffin... and if they don't make the
>> swap I bet the undertakers will :-)
>
> My thoughts exactly. Just as well, let someone somewhere enjoy
> the stuff instead of being in the ground.
>
> I know, it's hers to do with as she pleased.
>
> nancy
>

It still has to be inventoried for death taxes, even if she is buried
with it.

I once had an estate where this elderly couple who owned a small farm
hit a lottery. The still lived simply. I think the only thing she
bought herself was a fur coat, which we inventoried and appraised.

She died and we had to value the estate. The IRS came back later to
audit. The agent insisted she had to have had more jewelry than was
inventoried. I told him that I believed she might have been buried with
her plain gold wedding band, but I was not sure as one never surfaced.
I also reminded him that, if he exhumed her body to value the ring, we
could deduct that cost from the tax due as an expense of the state.

Watched him back off really fast. I just loved beating the crap out of
the IRS.

--
From somewhere very deep in the heart of Texas

On 8/10/2014 12:49 PM, Janet Wilder wrote:
> On 8/10/2014 11:29 AM, Nancy Young wrote:
>> On 8/10/2014 11:50 AM, Janet wrote:

>>> She'd be lucky. My bet is the daughters are already collecting a
>>> stash of cheap bling ready for the coffin... and if they don't make the
>>> swap I bet the undertakers will :-)
>>
>> My thoughts exactly. Just as well, let someone somewhere enjoy
>> the stuff instead of being in the ground.
>>
>> I know, it's hers to do with as she pleased.

> It still has to be inventoried for death taxes, even if she is buried
> with it.
>
> I once had an estate where this elderly couple who owned a small farm
> hit a lottery. The still lived simply. I think the only thing she
> bought herself was a fur coat, which we inventoried and appraised.
>
> She died and we had to value the estate. The IRS came back later to
> audit. The agent insisted she had to have had more jewelry than was
> inventoried.

How silly. I was born without the expensive handbag appreciation
gene, and spending thousands on shoes, I don't really get that
either, but I love expensive jewelry. However, since I never
go anywhere fancy, like to dinner with the Queen, I don't have any.

So what would possess anyone to assume an older lady, or just anyone
who lives the simple life on a farm, would run out and buy diamonds?
Maybe they bought a new top of the line tractor to make life easier.

> I told him that I believed she might have been buried with
> her plain gold wedding band, but I was not sure as one never surfaced. I
> also reminded him that, if he exhumed her body to value the ring, we
> could deduct that cost from the tax due as an expense of the state.
>
> Watched him back off really fast. I just loved beating the crap out of
> the IRS.

That one agent sure deserved a kick in the butt.

nancy

On 8/6/2014 7:04 PM, Mark Thorson wrote:
> Cheryl wrote:
>>
>> An alternative to playing rough back at them is diversion. I have one
>> like that and my legs and arms were constantly covered with scratches,
>> and are starting to be again now that the wild boy is becoming a grouchy
>> oldster. My method when he was young and chasing my bare legs was to
>> get a laser pointer and divert him away from me when I had to walk past
>> him.
>
> This is the result of raising only one kitten.
> When you have two, they play their cat games
> with each other, rather than the human.
> It's much easier to raise two kittens than one.
>
It could be. He was an adult when I got him.

--
ღ.¸¸.œ«*¨`*œ¶
Cheryl

On 8/8/2014 9:07 AM, jmcquown wrote:
> On 8/8/2014 8:40 AM, Dave Smith wrote:
>> On 2014-08-07 11:09 PM, Julie Bove wrote:
>>
>>>> That idiot woman obviously never spent one second training that cat.
>>>> A squirt-gun works wonders. I hope it goes to a better home than THAT
>>>> broad's providing.
>>>
>>> A squirt gun has never worked for any of my cats. Some of them have
>>> been water lovers.
>>
>>
>> Would anyone be surprised that you had all the oddball cats?
>
> Some cats actually do like water, Dave.
>
> Jill

My Maine Coon Sammy sleeps with his face on the side of the water dish,
and his ear is usually submerged. I have some strange cats. Not the
water part, just some other eccentricities. Like one of them is
constantly staring at the wall. Same wall every time. I've heard it
all, from how sounds bounce off the wall and she's just listening, to
there's probably something living in my wall that she hears. None of
the others do it, so I don't know.

--
ღ.¸¸.œ«*¨`*œ¶
Cheryl

On 8/9/2014 6:42 PM, jmcquown wrote:
> On 8/8/2014 11:10 PM, Julie Bove wrote:
>>
>> "jmcquown" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>> On 8/8/2014 8:40 AM, Dave Smith wrote:
>>>> On 2014-08-07 11:09 PM, Julie Bove wrote:
>>>>
>>>>>> That idiot woman obviously never spent one second training that cat.
>>>>>> A squirt-gun works wonders. I hope it goes to a better home than
>>>>>> THAT
>>>>>> broad's providing.
>>>>>
>>>>> A squirt gun has never worked for any of my cats. Some of them have
>>>>> been water lovers.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Would anyone be surprised that you had all the oddball cats?
>>>
>>> Some cats actually do like water, Dave.
>>
>> I guess he never saw the Beverly Hillbillies.
>
> Or anything like this:
>
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPospm1IHBk
>
> Jill

Cute video, but even cats who like water, do not like being spritzed
with it. I just got out of the pool, and I would not like it.


Becca

On 8/10/2014 9:39 AM, Nancy Young wrote:
> On 8/10/2014 10:33 AM, Janet Wilder wrote:
>> On 8/9/2014 9:40 PM, Nancy Young wrote:
>
>>> I love that. And maybe that way, once everything is said and
>>> done, your daughters will still be sisters to each other. That's
>>> the best inheritance.
>>
>> Unfortunately, I lost my youngest in an auto accident in 1996.
>
> Foot, meet mouth.
>
> I'm terribly sorry, I thought this was a relatively recent
> thing with the will.
>
> > There is
>> only one daughter left and three granddaughters. I left my jewelry to
>> her, but I know she will be generous in sharing it with the
>> granddaughters, maybe even the two step-granddaughters, is they remain
>> in touch.
>
> So you're not like this woman I once worked with, she had
> tons of expensive jewelry, huge diamonds ... and insists she
> will be buried with it all. Leave it to her daughters? Nope,
> buried with it.
>
> nancy

There is no way, that I would be buried wearing my jewelry, I'm being
cremated, but still, that is such a waste.

We will not be having any grandchildren, so I am not sure who I should
leave my jewelry, antiques, china cabinet, cedar chest, curio cabinet,
etc. to, since my children do not seem very interested. The last time my
firstborn here, I showed him the bookcase with a glass front, where his
great-grandfather stored his law books, and it would look nice in his
home office, but he was not interested in the least. We even offered to
deliver. I might leave all of this to my hairdresser - really.

Becca

On 8/10/2014 1:29 PM, Cheryl wrote:
> On 8/8/2014 9:07 AM, jmcquown wrote:
>> On 8/8/2014 8:40 AM, Dave Smith wrote:
>>> On 2014-08-07 11:09 PM, Julie Bove wrote:
>>>
>>>>> That idiot woman obviously never spent one second training that cat.
>>>>> A squirt-gun works wonders. I hope it goes to a better home than THAT
>>>>> broad's providing.
>>>>
>>>> A squirt gun has never worked for any of my cats. Some of them have
>>>> been water lovers.
>>>
>>>
>>> Would anyone be surprised that you had all the oddball cats?
>>
>> Some cats actually do like water, Dave.
>>
>> Jill
>
> My Maine Coon Sammy sleeps with his face on the side of the water dish,
> and his ear is usually submerged. I have some strange cats. Not the
> water part, just some other eccentricities. Like one of them is
> constantly staring at the wall. Same wall every time. I've heard it
> all, from how sounds bounce off the wall and she's just listening, to
> there's probably something living in my wall that she hears. None of
> the others do it, so I don't know.
>

Tear off the sheet rock and satisfy your curiosity, you can always hang
a fresh sheet later.

There may be a mouse living inside.

On 8/9/2014 10:22 PM, jmcquown wrote:
>
> Meanwhile, I'm the one who had to chase down the insurance policies,
> most of which Dad had let lapse. I'm the one who had to run around with
> our mother, changing things like bank info and the utility bill, phone
> service, DMV registration, from both their names to only hers. "Mr.
> Executor" didn't lift a finger to deal with any of that stuff.

All of those things you helped your mom with are difficult to deal with,
and I'm sure it helped her a lot not to have to do it on her own. My mom
did some of that stuff on her own, but some of it was handled by a
living will both parents decided on about 10 years ago. The Living Will
was a challenge to execute though, even though everything was put into a
binder by the lawyers office. We worked on trying to finalize things
for her after my dad passed for what seemed like months. I think some of
the extra things like Verizon, getting it in her name, and even selling
his car were difficult to do without him.

--
ღ.¸¸.œ«*¨`*œ¶
Cheryl

On 8/10/2014 4:13 PM, Ema Nymton wrote:
> On 8/10/2014 9:39 AM, Nancy Young wrote:

>> So you're not like this woman I once worked with, she had
>> tons of expensive jewelry, huge diamonds ... and insists she
>> will be buried with it all. Leave it to her daughters? Nope,
>> buried with it.

> There is no way, that I would be buried wearing my jewelry, I'm being
> cremated, but still, that is such a waste.

She was just like that, mine mine mine. It's not as if she
was estranged from her daughters. She said let their husband
buy them their own jewelry.

A real waste, agreed.

> We will not be having any grandchildren, so I am not sure who I should
> leave my jewelry, antiques, china cabinet, cedar chest, curio cabinet,
> etc. to, since my children do not seem very interested. The last time my
> firstborn here, I showed him the bookcase with a glass front, where his
> great-grandfather stored his law books, and it would look nice in his
> home office, but he was not interested in the least. We even offered to
> deliver.

I'd love something like that, too bad your son doesn't want it.

I wonder what will happen to the curved glass/clawfoot china
cabinet that my mother has at her place. It's been in the family
for however long. Who has room for such a thing? Well, my brother
does, and it would go great in his house, but with kids running around,
seems dangerous. Anyway, that's what comes to my mind when I think
of that, what will happen to possessions.

> I might leave all of this to my hairdresser - really.

Why not. Anyone who appreciates it and wants it.

nancy

On 8/10/2014 4:11 PM, Cheryl wrote:
> On 8/9/2014 10:22 PM, jmcquown wrote:
>>
>> Meanwhile, I'm the one who had to chase down the insurance policies,
>> most of which Dad had let lapse. I'm the one who had to run around with
>> our mother, changing things like bank info and the utility bill, phone
>> service, DMV registration, from both their names to only hers. "Mr.
>> Executor" didn't lift a finger to deal with any of that stuff.
>
> All of those things you helped your mom with are difficult to deal with,
> and I'm sure it helped her a lot not to have to do it on her own. My mom
> did some of that stuff on her own, but some of it was handled by a
> living will both parents decided on about 10 years ago. The Living Will
> was a challenge to execute though, even though everything was put into a
> binder by the lawyers office. We worked on trying to finalize things
> for her after my dad passed for what seemed like months. I think some of
> the extra things like Verizon, getting it in her name, and even selling
> his car were difficult to do without him.
>

Verizon advised me to just leave it. My name is on the account as an
authorized person. I transferred on e car to my name, the one I sold.
The RV and other car can wait.

The only problem I had was with DirecTV. They insisted I either pay for
15 months at $150 a month or pay an early termination fee of $250. I
think they suck!

Still waiting for the lawyer to get me a probate date. Once I have the
letters testementary, I can open a checking account to cash the checks I
have and one I am expecting that are in his name. Wells Fargo will give
me the account for free. Wells Fargo has been awesome. They have
notarized papers for me, helped me with deposits and anything else I
needed. I went on their Facebook page to commend them.

--
From somewhere very deep in the heart of Texas

On 8/10/2014 6:13 PM, Janet Wilder wrote:
> On 8/10/2014 4:11 PM, Cheryl wrote:
>> On 8/9/2014 10:22 PM, jmcquown wrote:
>>>
>>> Meanwhile, I'm the one who had to chase down the insurance policies,
>>> most of which Dad had let lapse. I'm the one who had to run around with
>>> our mother, changing things like bank info and the utility bill, phone
>>> service, DMV registration, from both their names to only hers. "Mr.
>>> Executor" didn't lift a finger to deal with any of that stuff.
>>
>> All of those things you helped your mom with are difficult to deal with,
>> and I'm sure it helped her a lot not to have to do it on her own. My mom
>> did some of that stuff on her own, but some of it was handled by a
>> living will both parents decided on about 10 years ago. The Living Will
>> was a challenge to execute though, even though everything was put into a
>> binder by the lawyers office. We worked on trying to finalize things
>> for her after my dad passed for what seemed like months. I think some of
>> the extra things like Verizon, getting it in her name, and even selling
>> his car were difficult to do without him.
>>
>
> Verizon advised me to just leave it. My name is on the account as an
> authorized person. I transferred on e car to my name, the one I sold.
> The RV and other car can wait.
>
> The only problem I had was with DirecTV. They insisted I either pay for
> 15 months at $150 a month or pay an early termination fee of $250. I
> think they suck!
>
> Still waiting for the lawyer to get me a probate date. Once I have the
> letters testementary, I can open a checking account to cash the checks I
> have and one I am expecting that are in his name. Wells Fargo will give
> me the account for free. Wells Fargo has been awesome. They have
> notarized papers for me, helped me with deposits and anything else I
> needed. I went on their Facebook page to commend them.
>
Not many people will brag on a big bank, that speaks volumes.

On 8/10/2014 5:11 PM, Cheryl wrote:
>
> All of those things you helped your mom with are difficult to deal with,
> and I'm sure it helped her a lot not to have to do it on her own. My mom
> did some of that stuff on her own, but some of it was handled by a
> living will both parents decided on about 10 years ago. The Living Will
> was a challenge to execute though, even though everything was put into a
> binder by the lawyers office. We worked on trying to finalize things
> for her after my dad passed for what seemed like months. I think some of
> the extra things like Verizon, getting it in her name, and even selling
> his car were difficult to do without him.
>
Clear title of deeds for both cars and property is important. The
selling of my parents Buick (the money went to the estate) depended on
how the legal title read. Fortunately my father was cognizant enough to
know to have the title in both their names. It was an "or" clause so
she'd get automatic title to the car in the event of his death.

Jill

On 8/10/2014 7:18 PM, Mayo wrote:
> On 8/10/2014 6:13 PM, Janet Wilder wrote:
>> On 8/10/2014 4:11 PM, Cheryl wrote:
>>> On 8/9/2014 10:22 PM, jmcquown wrote:
>>>>
>>>> Meanwhile, I'm the one who had to chase down the insurance policies,
>>>> most of which Dad had let lapse. I'm the one who had to run around
>>>> with
>>>> our mother, changing things like bank info and the utility bill, phone
>>>> service, DMV registration, from both their names to only hers. "Mr.
>>>> Executor" didn't lift a finger to deal with any of that stuff.
>>>
>>> All of those things you helped your mom with are difficult to deal with,
>>> and I'm sure it helped her a lot not to have to do it on her own. My mom
>>> did some of that stuff on her own, but some of it was handled by a
>>> living will both parents decided on about 10 years ago. The Living Will
>>> was a challenge to execute though, even though everything was put into a
>>> binder by the lawyers office. We worked on trying to finalize things
>>> for her after my dad passed for what seemed like months. I think some of
>>> the extra things like Verizon, getting it in her name, and even selling
>>> his car were difficult to do without him.
>>>
>>
>> Verizon advised me to just leave it. My name is on the account as an
>> authorized person. I transferred on e car to my name, the one I sold.
>> The RV and other car can wait.
>>
>> The only problem I had was with DirecTV. They insisted I either pay for
>> 15 months at $150 a month or pay an early termination fee of $250. I
>> think they suck!
>>
>> Still waiting for the lawyer to get me a probate date. Once I have the
>> letters testementary, I can open a checking account to cash the checks I
>> have and one I am expecting that are in his name. Wells Fargo will give
>> me the account for free. Wells Fargo has been awesome. They have
>> notarized papers for me, helped me with deposits and anything else I
>> needed. I went on their Facebook page to commend them.
>>
> Not many people will brag on a big bank, that speaks volumes.

The bank might be big, but the people who work there have good hearts
and a wonderful attitude towards their customers.

--
From somewhere very deep in the heart of Texas

On 8/10/2014 4:13 PM, Ema Nymton wrote:

> The last time my
> firstborn here, I showed him the bookcase with a glass front, where his
> great-grandfather stored his law books, and it would look nice in his
> home office, but he was not interested in the least. We even offered to
> deliver. I might leave all of this to my hairdresser - really.
>
> Becca
>

Perhaps your hairdresser will appreciate it more. I'm thinking our kids
will have a yard sale and get rid of everything at bargain prices.

On Wednesday, August 6, 2014 5:38:27 PM UTC-5, Dave Smith wrote:
> On 2014-08-06 7:04 PM, Mark Thorson wrote:
>
>
>
> > This is the result of raising only one kitten.
>
> > When you have two, they play their cat games
>
> > with each other, rather than the human.
>
> > It's much easier to raise two kittens than one.
>
> >
>
>
>
> I have to say that I enjoy kittens. They are so much fun to watch. The
>
> problem is that they turn into cats.

I feel exactly opposite. I far prefer adult cats.

--Bryan

On 8/10/2014 7:01 PM, Janet Wilder wrote:
> On 8/10/2014 7:18 PM, Mayo wrote:
>> On 8/10/2014 6:13 PM, Janet Wilder wrote:
>>> On 8/10/2014 4:11 PM, Cheryl wrote:
>>>> On 8/9/2014 10:22 PM, jmcquown wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>> Meanwhile, I'm the one who had to chase down the insurance policies,
>>>>> most of which Dad had let lapse. I'm the one who had to run around
>>>>> with
>>>>> our mother, changing things like bank info and the utility bill, phone
>>>>> service, DMV registration, from both their names to only hers. "Mr.
>>>>> Executor" didn't lift a finger to deal with any of that stuff.
>>>>
>>>> All of those things you helped your mom with are difficult to deal
>>>> with,
>>>> and I'm sure it helped her a lot not to have to do it on her own. My
>>>> mom
>>>> did some of that stuff on her own, but some of it was handled by a
>>>> living will both parents decided on about 10 years ago. The Living Will
>>>> was a challenge to execute though, even though everything was put
>>>> into a
>>>> binder by the lawyers office. We worked on trying to finalize things
>>>> for her after my dad passed for what seemed like months. I think
>>>> some of
>>>> the extra things like Verizon, getting it in her name, and even selling
>>>> his car were difficult to do without him.
>>>>
>>>
>>> Verizon advised me to just leave it. My name is on the account as an
>>> authorized person. I transferred on e car to my name, the one I sold.
>>> The RV and other car can wait.
>>>
>>> The only problem I had was with DirecTV. They insisted I either pay for
>>> 15 months at $150 a month or pay an early termination fee of $250. I
>>> think they suck!
>>>
>>> Still waiting for the lawyer to get me a probate date. Once I have the
>>> letters testementary, I can open a checking account to cash the checks I
>>> have and one I am expecting that are in his name. Wells Fargo will give
>>> me the account for free. Wells Fargo has been awesome. They have
>>> notarized papers for me, helped me with deposits and anything else I
>>> needed. I went on their Facebook page to commend them.
>>>
>> Not many people will brag on a big bank, that speaks volumes.
>
> The bank might be big, but the people who work there have good hearts
> and a wonderful attitude towards their customers.
>
I appreciate your sharing that, testimonials from the heart do matter.

On Sun, 10 Aug 2014 18:17:52 -0400, Nancy Young
> wrote:

>I wonder what will happen to the curved glass/clawfoot china
>cabinet that my mother has at her place. It's been in the family
>for however long. Who has room for such a thing? Well, my brother
>does, and it would go great in his house, but with kids running around,
>seems dangerous. Anyway, that's what comes to my mind when I think
>of that, what will happen to possessions.
>
>> I might leave all of this to my hairdresser - really.
>
>Why not. Anyone who appreciates it and wants it.

When my dad died two years ago, one of the things he left behind was a
teak secretary desk, about 50 years old. It was almost a part of him -
he had stuff sorted the way he wanted, there were clips hanging with
things that only he could know the meaning of, and the drawers were
full of mystery papers.

We ended up with this desk at our house, and we had no interest in
keeping it (we already had a lot of stuff from the estate to deal
with).

As it happened, the house next door to us had recently changed hands,
and the new owners were looking for furniture. We gave them Dad's
desk, and it fit beautifully in a little corner in their living room.
It looked like it was meant to be there. I'm happy we gave it to them
because the desk looks like it's glad to be there. Also, I can see it
every time I go to their house. This would not be the case if we had
sold it.

Doris

On Sun, 10 Aug 2014 23:32:57 -0400, Doris Night
> wrote:

>When my dad died two years ago, one of the things he left behind was a
>teak secretary desk, about 50 years old. It was almost a part of him -
>he had stuff sorted the way he wanted, there were clips hanging with
>things that only he could know the meaning of, and the drawers were
>full of mystery papers.
>
>We ended up with this desk at our house, and we had no interest in
>keeping it (we already had a lot of stuff from the estate to deal
>with).
>
>As it happened, the house next door to us had recently changed hands,
>and the new owners were looking for furniture. We gave them Dad's
>desk, and it fit beautifully in a little corner in their living room.
>It looked like it was meant to be there. I'm happy we gave it to them
>because the desk looks like it's glad to be there. Also, I can see it
>every time I go to their house. This would not be the case if we had
>sold it.

I hope you took out the $10000 taped behind the drawers first

On 8/10/2014 8:13 PM, Janet Wilder wrote:
> Verizon advised me to just leave it. My name is on the account as an
> authorized person. I transferred on e car to my name, the one I sold.
> The RV and other car can wait.
>
> The only problem I had was with DirecTV. They insisted I either pay for
> 15 months at $150 a month or pay an early termination fee of $250. I
> think they suck!
>
> Still waiting for the lawyer to get me a probate date. Once I have the
> letters testementary, I can open a checking account to cash the checks I
> have and one I am expecting that are in his name. Wells Fargo will give
> me the account for free. Wells Fargo has been awesome. They have
> notarized papers for me, helped me with deposits and anything else I
> needed. I went on their Facebook page to commend them.

That speaks well for Well's Fargo.

Comcast is still in my mother's name although I'm an authorized user on
the account. They are the only company/service provider that wouldn't
let me mail them a copy of her death certificate to request the
change-over to my name. They insist I have to bring it to them in
person. That just doesn't make any sense to me.

Jill

On 8/10/2014 5:11 PM, Cheryl wrote:
> On 8/9/2014 10:22 PM, jmcquown wrote:
>>
>> Meanwhile, I'm the one who had to chase down the insurance policies,
>> most of which Dad had let lapse. I'm the one who had to run around with
>> our mother, changing things like bank info and the utility bill, phone
>> service, DMV registration, from both their names to only hers. "Mr.
>> Executor" didn't lift a finger to deal with any of that stuff.
>
> All of those things you helped your mom with are difficult to deal with,
> and I'm sure it helped her a lot not to have to do it on her own. My mom
> did some of that stuff on her own, but some of it was handled by a
> living will both parents decided on about 10 years ago. The Living Will
> was a challenge to execute though, even though everything was put into a
> binder by the lawyers office. We worked on trying to finalize things
> for her after my dad passed for what seemed like months. I think some of
> the extra things like Verizon, getting it in her name, and even selling
> his car were difficult to do without him.
>
There's a heck of a lot involved, that's for sure. I can't think of one
good reason anyone would *want* to be the executor of an estate.

Jill

On 8/11/2014 7:49 AM, jmcquown wrote:
> On 8/10/2014 5:11 PM, Cheryl wrote:

>> All of those things you helped your mom with are difficult to deal with,
>> and I'm sure it helped her a lot not to have to do it on her own. My mom
>> did some of that stuff on her own, but some of it was handled by a
>> living will both parents decided on about 10 years ago. The Living Will
>> was a challenge to execute though, even though everything was put into a
>> binder by the lawyers office. We worked on trying to finalize things
>> for her after my dad passed for what seemed like months. I think some of
>> the extra things like Verizon, getting it in her name, and even selling
>> his car were difficult to do without him.
>>
> There's a heck of a lot involved, that's for sure. I can't think of one
> good reason anyone would *want* to be the executor of an estate.

I was the executor for my father's estate, and though everything went
to my mother, there was some stock in his name. I refused to pay a
lawyer 10% of the value just to fill out some forms. In that state,
it's illegal for the people at the probate office to help you, but
with a wink and a nod, I got the form filled out properly and saved
my mother a few grand.

Of course, there was more work involved. It's a lot. No fun at all.
I can see why there's a provision for payment to the executor.

nancy

On 2014-08-11 7:49 AM, jmcquown wrote:

> There's a heck of a lot involved, that's for sure. I can't think of one
> good reason anyone would *want* to be the executor of an estate.
>
>

My brother has a friend who is a lawyer who ha a lot of elderly clients.
He has written up wills for them and written himself in as executor. He
starts off every morning checking out the obituaries. When he sees a
client's name he locks up the house and sends in an assessor to
calculate the value..... so he can claim his fee, which will be a
percentage of the value of the estate.

For some reason, I agreed to be executor for my sister in law and her
husband. He has said that if she goes first he won't allow the estate to
be dealt with for at least a year. His family is totally dysfunctional.
I will be charging a fee on that one and then pass it back to SiL.

My brother was executor of my aunt's will. I had been her power of
attorney. He was not going to collect a executor's fee on that but our
cousin was such a pain in the ass that he ended passing the job off to
his lawyer friend, and they both collected a fee. I don't blame him.
She had annoyed me enough when I was PoA. No need to go into details
about her problem, but nephews were entrusted with positions of PoA and
executor over the only daughter.

On 8/11/2014 9:24 AM, Dave Smith wrote:
> On 2014-08-11 7:49 AM, jmcquown wrote:
>
>> There's a heck of a lot involved, that's for sure. I can't think of one
>> good reason anyone would *want* to be the executor of an estate.
>>
>>
>
> My brother has a friend who is a lawyer who ha a lot of elderly clients.
> He has written up wills for them and written himself in as executor. He
> starts off every morning checking out the obituaries. When he sees a
> client's name he locks up the house and sends in an assessor to
> calculate the value..... so he can claim his fee, which will be a
> percentage of the value of the estate.
>
Sounds very unscrupulous. Mom's lawyer didn't charge an exhorbitant
amount for handling the probate. Then again, it didn't amount to much
work on his part. Her Will very clearly defined the division of monies
and property. All he had to do was file it with the court.

My brothers had already picked out the furniture and things they
wanted... heck, they did that the day of Dad's funeral. They were
walking around the house saying "I want this" "I want that". Good lord,
all of it belongs to Mom. She's still alive. Don't walk around the
house shopping over your parents' graves. This isn't a yard sale.

Jill

> For some reason, I agreed to be executor for my sister in law and her
> husband. He has said that if she goes first he won't allow the estate to
> be dealt with for at least a year. His family is totally dysfunctional.
> I will be charging a fee on that one and then pass it back to SiL.
>
> My brother was executor of my aunt's will. I had been her power of
> attorney. He was not going to collect a executor's fee on that but our
> cousin was such a pain in the ass that he ended passing the job off to
> his lawyer friend, and they both collected a fee. I don't blame him.
> She had annoyed me enough when I was PoA. No need to go into details
> about her problem, but nephews were entrusted with positions of PoA and
> executor over the only daughter.
>