On 10/20/2016 12:53 PM, Gary wrote:
> jmcquown wrote:
>>
>> Without a pass, a transponder or a resident's permission, they don't let
>> anyone on the island. Heck, when I went home to get my car, my cat
>> Persia (got her out of kitty jail after months of being boarded!) and
>> some extra clothes, my mother had to call the gate ahead of time to tell
>> them to let me in.
>
> Why was Persia boarded for months? WHAT??? Just wondering.

This again? I was only expecting to be here for a couple of weeks.
Turned out Mom needed me pretty much forever. I helped her with Dad.
Then he died and she needed me to stay. I was living out of a suitcase.
Persia was boarded at the vet back in Cordova. I finally went home to
get my cat, my own car and some lightweight clothes. Yes, that took a
few months. Mom was not at all comfortable being left alone in the
house. I made sure our neighbor was checking on her and I called her
daily until I got back.

> I've worked in many gated communities but I've never heard of
> any so strict as yours. WTH? None have ever charged admission...
> just a resident giving permission to come in for the day.
>
> How about guests for the night or the weekend? Charge them too for
> wear and tear on the roads? wow.
>
If you have guests they can stay as long as they want. But they have to
have a gate pass (NO CHARGE) so Security can identify them as they come
and go. One of the reasons for this is, um... Security! No roaming
bands of religious folks ringing the doorbell with a pitch. No one
selling magazine subscriptions.

The charge for contractors for gate passes for wear and tear is because
they tend to drive vehicles which are heavier than standard personal use
vehicles.

Jill

On 10/20/2016 12:40 PM, Cindy Hamilton wrote:
> On Thursday, October 20, 2016 at 11:20:33 AM UTC-4, Gary wrote:
>> jmcquown wrote:
>>>
>>> I have a small separate stand-alone freezer. As for grilling, yes, I
>>> did that. Even in a power outage ya' gotta eat! But since nearly
>>> everyone else evacuated... sorry, there was no giant cookout with the
>>> neighbors. LOL
>>
>> I have a question for you, Jill. You talked about decorating your house
>> for Halloween with the eyes in the bushes..... I'm wondering if you
>> decorate for the hell of it
(snippage)
>
> Might as well ask why I put up a Christmas tree, since I never
> had any children and I'm an atheist. She probably decorates
> to suit her own sense of whimsy.
>
> Cindy Hamilton
>
I love the word whimsy! Yep, that's pretty much it. I used to set
out decorative gourds and even carved pumpkins this time of year. But
where I live now the entryway can't be seen from the street. That
pretty much lets out the "stoop" type displays I used to do in the fall
in my years back in Tennessee.

Ah, but the blinky eyeball lights can be seen from the street. They are
fairly unique and definitely to satisfy my Halloween whimsy. Same thing
with my Halloween flag. It's a black cat with an arched back and puffed
tail inside a gold moon.

When Christmas rolls around, even though I'm not particularly religious,
I put a ceramic tree on the table in the entry way. It's just pretty.
It's a nod to the season, that's about it.

Jill

"jmcquown" > wrote in message
...
> On 10/20/2016 12:40 PM, Cindy Hamilton wrote:
>> On Thursday, October 20, 2016 at 11:20:33 AM UTC-4, Gary wrote:
>>> jmcquown wrote:
>>>>
>>>> I have a small separate stand-alone freezer. As for grilling, yes, I
>>>> did that. Even in a power outage ya' gotta eat! But since nearly
>>>> everyone else evacuated... sorry, there was no giant cookout with the
>>>> neighbors. LOL
>>>
>>> I have a question for you, Jill. You talked about decorating your house
>>> for Halloween with the eyes in the bushes..... I'm wondering if you
>>> decorate for the hell of it
> (snippage)
>>
>> Might as well ask why I put up a Christmas tree, since I never
>> had any children and I'm an atheist. She probably decorates
>> to suit her own sense of whimsy.
>>
>> Cindy Hamilton
>>
> I love the word whimsy! Yep, that's pretty much it. I used to set out
> decorative gourds and even carved pumpkins this time of year. But where I
> live now the entryway can't be seen from the street. That pretty much
> lets out the "stoop" type displays I used to do in the fall in my years
> back in Tennessee.
>
> Ah, but the blinky eyeball lights can be seen from the street. They are
> fairly unique and definitely to satisfy my Halloween whimsy. Same thing
> with my Halloween flag. It's a black cat with an arched back and puffed
> tail inside a gold moon.
>
> When Christmas rolls around, even though I'm not particularly religious, I
> put a ceramic tree on the table in the entry way. It's just pretty. It's
> a nod to the season, that's about it.
>
> Jill

We used to go all out for Halloween, but these days not too many come on our
street and the kids that used to live on the street are grown and gone. Same
thing with Christmas, we used to decorate outside etc., lots of indoor
decorations, snow towns and things like that, but...no more. We do have a
tree and Christmas dishes for the brunch/dinner thing, but we don't drag
everything out now. We do like to visit our kids, grandkids, and the like to
see theirs though, and we do always drive around to see the decorations,
just don't feel like climbing up and down ladders getting things off the
shelves now. I bet your blinky eyeball lights are very cute!

Cheri

jmcquown wrote:
>
> On 10/20/2016 12:53 PM, Gary wrote:
> > jmcquown wrote:
> >>
> >> Without a pass, a transponder or a resident's permission, they don't let
> >> anyone on the island. Heck, when I went home to get my car, my cat
> >> Persia (got her out of kitty jail after months of being boarded!) and
> >> some extra clothes, my mother had to call the gate ahead of time to tell
> >> them to let me in.
> >
> > Why was Persia boarded for months? WHAT??? Just wondering.
>
> This again? I was only expecting to be here for a couple of weeks.
> Turned out Mom needed me pretty much forever. I helped her with Dad.
> Then he died and she needed me to stay. I was living out of a suitcase.
> Persia was boarded at the vet back in Cordova. I finally went home to
> get my cat, my own car and some lightweight clothes. Yes, that took a
> few months.

Sorry to ask but I didn't remember hearing that (the cat) part of the
story.

That's still a bit odd to me. I've always offered my mom and dad help if
they ever needed me there. That said though, I would never dream of
leaving my pet (family member) for months in a boarding place. Really?
Did you ever consider how Persia might have felt totally abandoned?
We're talking months here.

I suppose most people consider their pets as 2nd class citizens. Not me.
Any current pet of mine will travel with me. I would never abandon it
even for a short time. This is a family member with feelings too. They
love you and would miss you and not have any idea that you're coming
back later. It's not just about making sure they are fed and cared for.

I remember once my mom said, "well you can't bring a ferret here. Dad
wouldn't allow it in the house. You'd have to keep it out in the
garage." I told her right back and I was very serious, "No worries, Mom,
if the ferret lives in the garage, I'll bring a sleeping bag and that's
where I'll stay too."

I'm kind of like Sheldon when he's said, "animals are more worthwhile
than most humans." I agree.

On 10/21/2016 9:13 AM, Gary wrote:
> jmcquown wrote:
>>
>> On 10/20/2016 12:53 PM, Gary wrote:
>>> jmcquown wrote:
>>>>
>>>> Without a pass, a transponder or a resident's permission, they don't let
>>>> anyone on the island. Heck, when I went home to get my car, my cat
>>>> Persia (got her out of kitty jail after months of being boarded!) and
>>>> some extra clothes, my mother had to call the gate ahead of time to tell
>>>> them to let me in.
>>>
>>> Why was Persia boarded for months? WHAT??? Just wondering.
>>
>> This again? I was only expecting to be here for a couple of weeks.
>> Turned out Mom needed me pretty much forever. I helped her with Dad.
>> Then he died and she needed me to stay. I was living out of a suitcase.
>> Persia was boarded at the vet back in Cordova. I finally went home to
>> get my cat, my own car and some lightweight clothes. Yes, that took a
>> few months.
>
> Sorry to ask but I didn't remember hearing that (the cat) part of the
> story.
>
> That's still a bit odd to me. I've always offered my mom and dad help if
> they ever needed me there. That said though, I would never dream of
> leaving my pet (family member) for months in a boarding place. Really?
> Did you ever consider how Persia might have felt totally abandoned?
> We're talking months here.
>
I don't need you to chastise me about this, Gary. I felt bad about it
but I certainly did not expect it to stretch out for months.

The staff at the vet already knew Persia because I'd boarded her for
short periods of time in the past when I had to travel. They loved her!
They kept me apprised of how she was doing every week. It was not an
ideal situation by any means. It's just the way things happened.

> I suppose most people consider their pets as 2nd class citizens. Not me.
> Any current pet of mine will travel with me. I would never abandon it
> even for a short time. This is a family member with feelings too. They
> love you and would miss you and not have any idea that you're coming
> back later. It's not just about making sure they are fed and cared for.
>
> I remember once my mom said, "well you can't bring a ferret here. Dad
> wouldn't allow it in the house. You'd have to keep it out in the
> garage." I told her right back and I was very serious, "No worries, Mom,
> if the ferret lives in the garage, I'll bring a sleeping bag and that's
> where I'll stay too."
>
> I'm kind of like Sheldon when he's said, "animals are more worthwhile
> than most humans." I agree.
>
I agree with that statement, too. However, we don't always have control
over the way things play out.

Jill

On 10/20/2016 11:07 PM, Cheri wrote:
> We used to go all out for Halloween, but these days not too many come on
> our street and the kids that used to live on the street are grown and
> gone. Same thing with Christmas, we used to decorate outside etc., lots
> of indoor decorations, snow towns and things like that, but...no more.
> We do have a tree and Christmas dishes for the brunch/dinner thing, but
> we don't drag everything out now. We do like to visit our kids,
> grandkids, and the like to see theirs though, and we do always drive
> around to see the decorations, just don't feel like climbing up and down
> ladders getting things off the shelves now. I bet your blinky eyeball
> lights are very cute!
>
> Cheri

They are very cute! I've tried taking pictures of them but it's hard to
get the light just right.

Jill

jmcquown wrote:
>
> I don't need you to chastise me about this, Gary. I felt bad about it
> but I certainly did not expect it to stretch out for months.

That wasn't meant for you only...just a general statement about pets.
I'm sure you didn't like the situation but I'll bet poor Persian liked
it even less.

I hate to see people discard pets as not family members. Case in point,
my next door neighbors got a newborn puppy about 6 months ago. The poor
dog only got outside a few times a day to goto the bathroom. Now the dog
is gone...too much trouble, they said. Hopefully they won't ever have
children. Will they adopt them out too as they get older and more
trouble?

Ferrets are also a commonly abandoned pet. So cute and playful but once
people realize how much care they require, they tend to ditch them.
Ferret shelters are full of throw-aways. The local animal shelters and
SPCA won't even accept them.

Whenever I get a pet, it stays with me constantly until it dies. I would
never dream of abandoning one that loves you so much. This is why I
don't have another yet...I need to get my life stable before I take
another lifelong responsibility.

If mom and dad ever need me and I have a new ferret, we will either
sleep together in a bedroom or in the garage. I'm fine with either. If
for any reason I ever became homeless, I'd be sleeping in a tent and
carrying around my ferret friend in my backpack. Family is for life.
:-D

jmcquown wrote:
>
> On 10/20/2016 11:07 PM, Cheri wrote:
> > We used to go all out for Halloween, but these days not too many come on
> > our street and the kids that used to live on the street are grown and
> > gone. Same thing with Christmas, we used to decorate outside etc., lots
> > of indoor decorations, snow towns and things like that, but...no more.
> > We do have a tree and Christmas dishes for the brunch/dinner thing, but
> > we don't drag everything out now. We do like to visit our kids,
> > grandkids, and the like to see theirs though, and we do always drive
> > around to see the decorations, just don't feel like climbing up and down
> > ladders getting things off the shelves now. I bet your blinky eyeball
> > lights are very cute!
> >
> > Cheri
>
> They are very cute! I've tried taking pictures of them but it's hard to
> get the light just right.
>
> Jill

They do sound very cool, Jill. Send a pic if you get a good one. I'm
picturing two eyeballs together in pairs blinking in your bushes. lol.
If that looks like animal pairs of eyes, I'll bet any passing by cat or
dog will freak out seeing this. hhahah

In article >, says...
>
> jmcquown wrote:
> >
> > On 10/20/2016 12:53 PM, Gary wrote:
> > > jmcquown wrote:
> > >>
> > >> Without a pass, a transponder or a resident's permission, they don't let
> > >> anyone on the island. Heck, when I went home to get my car, my cat
> > >> Persia (got her out of kitty jail after months of being boarded!) and
> > >> some extra clothes, my mother had to call the gate ahead of time to tell
> > >> them to let me in.
> > >
> > > Why was Persia boarded for months? WHAT??? Just wondering.
> >
> > This again? I was only expecting to be here for a couple of weeks.
> > Turned out Mom needed me pretty much forever. I helped her with Dad.
> > Then he died and she needed me to stay. I was living out of a suitcase.
> > Persia was boarded at the vet back in Cordova. I finally went home to
> > get my cat, my own car and some lightweight clothes. Yes, that took a
> > few months.
>
> Sorry to ask but I didn't remember hearing that (the cat) part of the
> story.
>
> That's still a bit odd to me. I've always offered my mom and dad help if
> they ever needed me there. That said though, I would never dream of
> leaving my pet (family member) for months in a boarding place. Really?

Do pay attention. Jill didn't take her car; that should tell you that
the distance between her old home and her parents was a long way and she
needed to get there in a hurry.

A long flight, a strange place, parents needing all Jill's attention;
for the cat's sake she left it in kennels, expecting to be home again in
a couple of weeks. Then it was impossible to leave. If you'd been here
longer you'd remember what a tough time Jill had caring for her
parents' very demanding medical conditions.


> Did you ever consider how Persia might have felt totally abandoned?
> We're talking months here.

cheap shot. Jill put the needs and feelings of her elderly sick parents
before any other consideration; she gave up everything else ( her
private life, home, job, income, independence, and her cat), to care for
and support them in the comfort of their own home until they died.

Janet UK.

In article >, says...
>
> jmcquown wrote:
> >
> > I don't need you to chastise me about this, Gary. I felt bad about it
> > but I certainly did not expect it to stretch out for months.
>
> That wasn't meant for you only...just a general statement about pets.
> I'm sure you didn't like the situation but I'll bet poor Persian liked
> it even less.
>
> I hate to see people discard pets as not family members. Case in point,
> my next door neighbors got a newborn puppy about 6 months ago. The poor
> dog only got outside a few times a day to goto the bathroom. Now the dog
> is gone...too much trouble, they said. Hopefully they won't ever have
> children. Will they adopt them out too as they get older and more
> trouble?
>
> Ferrets are also a commonly abandoned pet. So cute and playful but once
> people realize how much care they require, they tend to ditch them.
> Ferret shelters are full of throw-aways. The local animal shelters and
> SPCA won't even accept them.
>
> Whenever I get a pet, it stays with me constantly until it dies.

ISTR you left Mia locked alone in a cage all day every day while you
went to work; and the vet said she was not getting enough excercise.

I would
> never dream of abandoning one that loves you so much. This is why I
> don't have another yet...I need to get my life stable before I take
> another lifelong responsibility.
>
> If mom and dad ever need me and I have a new ferret, we will either
> sleep together in a bedroom or in the garage. I'm fine with either. If
> for any reason I ever became homeless, I'd be sleeping in a tent and
> carrying around my ferret friend in my backpack. Family is for life.
> :-D

Parents are family.

ISTR your care of your mother amounts to a phone call once a week.
You're nearly 60, aren't you? So she's pushing 80. One phone call a week
is your best shot?


Janet UK

On 10/21/2016 1:09 PM, Janet wrote:
> In article >, says...
>>
>> jmcquown wrote:
>>>
>>> On 10/20/2016 12:53 PM, Gary wrote:
>>>> jmcquown wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>> Without a pass, a transponder or a resident's permission, they don't let
>>>>> anyone on the island. Heck, when I went home to get my car, my cat
>>>>> Persia (got her out of kitty jail after months of being boarded!) and
>>>>> some extra clothes, my mother had to call the gate ahead of time to tell
>>>>> them to let me in.
>>>>
>>>> Why was Persia boarded for months? WHAT??? Just wondering.
>>>
>>> This again? I was only expecting to be here for a couple of weeks.
>>> Turned out Mom needed me pretty much forever. I helped her with Dad.
>>> Then he died and she needed me to stay. I was living out of a suitcase.
>>> Persia was boarded at the vet back in Cordova. I finally went home to
>>> get my cat, my own car and some lightweight clothes. Yes, that took a
>>> few months.
>>
>> Sorry to ask but I didn't remember hearing that (the cat) part of the
>> story.
>>
>> That's still a bit odd to me. I've always offered my mom and dad help if
>> they ever needed me there. That said though, I would never dream of
>> leaving my pet (family member) for months in a boarding place. Really?
>
> Do pay attention. Jill didn't take her car; that should tell you that
> the distance between her old home and her parents was a long way and she
> needed to get there in a hurry.
>
True. I didn't drive (that time) from west TN through Mississippi, cut
through Alabama and drive across Georgia to get to South Carolina with
my cat Persia (who was *always* carsick). Forgive me!

I flew down and paid for a cab to get me from the from Savannah airport
in, GA to Dataw in South Carolina. Sans a vomiting cat on the plane or
in the taxi. (And no, I would NOT travel with a pet on a plane unless it
could be in the cabin with me. Not putting my pet in an unheated
baggage compartment of a plane flying at 32,000 feet!)

Obviously I didn't plan on leaving Persia boarded that long.

> A long flight, a strange place, parents needing all Jill's attention;
> for the cat's sake she left it in kennels, expecting to be home again in
> a couple of weeks. Then it was impossible to leave. If you'd been here
> longer you'd remember what a tough time Jill had caring for her
> parents' very demanding medical conditions.
>
>
>> Did you ever consider how Persia might have felt totally abandoned?
>> We're talking months here.
>
> cheap shot. Jill put the needs and feelings of her elderly sick parents
> before any other consideration; she gave up everything else ( her
> private life, home, job, income, independence, and her cat), to care for
> and support them in the comfort of their own home until they died.
>
> Janet UK.
>
Thank you, Janet. Obviously I insisted on going back and getting Persia
out of "kitty jail" as soon as I could. There was a heck of a lot going
on at the time. Dad had just died, Mom was totally dependent on me.

As for boarding Persia, the staff there truly did love her. She was not
like some of those images you see on television of the poor, abused,
abandoned animals! I brought her here as soon as I could.

I also really wanted to bring my own car here. I was the one doing the
shopping, running errands. I simply wasn't comfortable driving their
Buick. Oh, and I'd been living out of a suitcase just as long as Persia
had been in the kennel. That's no fun, either.

Jill

On 10/21/2016 11:33 AM, Gary wrote:
> jmcquown wrote:
>>
>> I don't need you to chastise me about this, Gary. I felt bad about it
>> but I certainly did not expect it to stretch out for months.
>
> That wasn't meant for you only...just a general statement about pets.
> I'm sure you didn't like the situation but I'll bet poor Persian liked
> it even less.
>
> I hate to see people discard pets as not family members.

Um, okay. You're really wound up about this. Take a deep breath.

For the record, I did not "discard" Persia. She was well cared for by
veterinary staff she had known for years. She was in good hands. We
were in weekly contact by phone. I'd call them, they'd call me, just
telling me how she was doing. They took her out and played with her
several times a day. They did not have a huge boarding area. Only six
feline kennels for non-medical boarding. She wasn't being "warehoused"
or neglected.

Jill

On Fri, 21 Oct 2016 09:13:34 -0400, Gary > wrote:

>jmcquown wrote:
>>
>> On 10/20/2016 12:53 PM, Gary wrote:
>> > jmcquown wrote:
>> >>
>> >> Without a pass, a transponder or a resident's permission, they don't let
>> >> anyone on the island. Heck, when I went home to get my car, my cat
>> >> Persia (got her out of kitty jail after months of being boarded!) and
>> >> some extra clothes, my mother had to call the gate ahead of time to tell
>> >> them to let me in.
>> >
>> > Why was Persia boarded for months? WHAT??? Just wondering.
>>
>> This again? I was only expecting to be here for a couple of weeks.
>> Turned out Mom needed me pretty much forever. I helped her with Dad.
>> Then he died and she needed me to stay. I was living out of a suitcase.
>> Persia was boarded at the vet back in Cordova. I finally went home to
>> get my cat, my own car and some lightweight clothes. Yes, that took a
>> few months.
>
>Sorry to ask but I didn't remember hearing that (the cat) part of the
>story.
>
>That's still a bit odd to me. I've always offered my mom and dad help if
>they ever needed me there. That said though, I would never dream of
>leaving my pet (family member) for months in a boarding place. Really?
>Did you ever consider how Persia might have felt totally abandoned?
>We're talking months here.
>
>I suppose most people consider their pets as 2nd class citizens. Not me.
>Any current pet of mine will travel with me. I would never abandon it
>even for a short time. This is a family member with feelings too. They
>love you and would miss you and not have any idea that you're coming
>back later. It's not just about making sure they are fed and cared for.

My pets are definitely not second class citizens! I feel I must not
be out over so many hours because of Winnie and now it is darker with
a storm coming, I actually left the light on in here because of Red
Belly. In the normal way I am very well trained at turning lights on
and off.
>
>I remember once my mom said, "well you can't bring a ferret here. Dad
>wouldn't allow it in the house. You'd have to keep it out in the
>garage." I told her right back and I was very serious, "No worries, Mom,
>if the ferret lives in the garage, I'll bring a sleeping bag and that's
>where I'll stay too."
>
>I'm kind of like Sheldon when he's said, "animals are more worthwhile
>than most humans." I agree.

On Friday, October 21, 2016 at 1:27:14 PM UTC-4, Janet wrote:
> In article >, says...
> >
> > jmcquown wrote:
> > >
> > > I don't need you to chastise me about this, Gary. I felt bad about it
> > > but I certainly did not expect it to stretch out for months.
> >
> > That wasn't meant for you only...just a general statement about pets.
> > I'm sure you didn't like the situation but I'll bet poor Persian liked
> > it even less.
> >
> > I hate to see people discard pets as not family members. Case in point,
> > my next door neighbors got a newborn puppy about 6 months ago. The poor
> > dog only got outside a few times a day to goto the bathroom. Now the dog
> > is gone...too much trouble, they said. Hopefully they won't ever have
> > children. Will they adopt them out too as they get older and more
> > trouble?
> >
> > Ferrets are also a commonly abandoned pet. So cute and playful but once
> > people realize how much care they require, they tend to ditch them.
> > Ferret shelters are full of throw-aways. The local animal shelters and
> > SPCA won't even accept them.
> >
> > Whenever I get a pet, it stays with me constantly until it dies.
>
> ISTR you left Mia locked alone in a cage all day every day while you
> went to work; and the vet said she was not getting enough excercise.
>
> I would
> > never dream of abandoning one that loves you so much. This is why I
> > don't have another yet...I need to get my life stable before I take
> > another lifelong responsibility.
> >
> > If mom and dad ever need me and I have a new ferret, we will either
> > sleep together in a bedroom or in the garage. I'm fine with either. If
> > for any reason I ever became homeless, I'd be sleeping in a tent and
> > carrying around my ferret friend in my backpack. Family is for life.
> > :-D
>
> Parents are family.
>
> ISTR your care of your mother amounts to a phone call once a week.
> You're nearly 60, aren't you? So she's pushing 80. One phone call a week
> is your best shot?

My 82-year-old mother is lucky if she hears from me once a month.
OTOH, I was just over there last week to set up her WIFI network.

Cindy Hamilton

On 10/21/2016 3:10 PM, Cindy Hamilton wrote:
> On Friday, October 21, 2016 at 1:27:14 PM UTC-4, Janet wrote:
>>
>> Parents are family.
>>
>> ISTR your care of your mother amounts to a phone call once a week.
>> You're nearly 60, aren't you? So she's pushing 80. One phone call a week
>> is your best shot?
>
> My 82-year-old mother is lucky if she hears from me once a month.
> OTOH, I was just over there last week to set up her WIFI network.
>
> Cindy Hamilton
>
At least you are close enough to go over there and help her out when
necessary.

Cordova, TN to Dataw Island, SC is not exactly a hop, skip and a jump.
Especially not when driving with a car-sick cat in a carrier in the back
seat. Gary makes it sound like I committed a mortal sin because I
boarded her. Instead, I boarded an airplane.

Jill

jmcquown wrote:
>
> On 10/21/2016 3:10 PM, Cindy Hamilton wrote:
> > On Friday, October 21, 2016 at 1:27:14 PM UTC-4, Janet wrote:
> >>
> >> Parents are family.
> >>
> >> ISTR your care of your mother amounts to a phone call once a week.
> >> You're nearly 60, aren't you? So she's pushing 80. One phone call a week
> >> is your best shot?
> >
> > My 82-year-old mother is lucky if she hears from me once a month.
> > OTOH, I was just over there last week to set up her WIFI network.
> >
> > Cindy Hamilton
> >
> At least you are close enough to go over there and help her out when
> necessary.
>
> Cordova, TN to Dataw Island, SC is not exactly a hop, skip and a jump.
> Especially not when driving with a car-sick cat in a carrier in the back
> seat. Gary makes it sound like I committed a mortal sin because I
> boarded her. Instead, I boarded an airplane.

Did you explain to Persia why you were leaving her? Did she understand?
And didn't you go back MONTHS later and still drive her car-sick butt
back to carolina with you? Could have done that in the first place.

That's just you, but not me.
Everyone has differences, right Cheri? :-D

"Gary" > wrote in message ...
> jmcquown wrote:
>>
>> On 10/21/2016 3:10 PM, Cindy Hamilton wrote:
>> > On Friday, October 21, 2016 at 1:27:14 PM UTC-4, Janet wrote:
>> >>
>> >> Parents are family.
>> >>
>> >> ISTR your care of your mother amounts to a phone call once a week.
>> >> You're nearly 60, aren't you? So she's pushing 80. One phone call a
>> >> week
>> >> is your best shot?
>> >
>> > My 82-year-old mother is lucky if she hears from me once a month.
>> > OTOH, I was just over there last week to set up her WIFI network.
>> >
>> > Cindy Hamilton
>> >
>> At least you are close enough to go over there and help her out when
>> necessary.
>>
>> Cordova, TN to Dataw Island, SC is not exactly a hop, skip and a jump.
>> Especially not when driving with a car-sick cat in a carrier in the back
>> seat. Gary makes it sound like I committed a mortal sin because I
>> boarded her. Instead, I boarded an airplane.
>
> Did you explain to Persia why you were leaving her? Did she understand?
> And didn't you go back MONTHS later and still drive her car-sick butt
> back to carolina with you? Could have done that in the first place.
>
> That's just you, but not me.
> Everyone has differences, right Cheri? :-D

Absolutely Gary! There is nothing wrong with boarding a pet when the
circumstances call for it, many rescues are boarded for long periods when
waiting to be adopted and they are treated very well in the process.

Cheri

On 10/22/2016 10:58 AM, Gary wrote:
> Did you explain to Persia why you were leaving her? Did she understand?
> And didn't you go back MONTHS later and still drive her car-sick butt
> back to carolina with you? Could have done that in the first place.

Shut up, Gary.

Jill

On 10/22/2016 10:58 AM, Gary wrote:
> jmcquown wrote:
>>
>> On 10/21/2016 3:10 PM, Cindy Hamilton wrote:
>>> On Friday, October 21, 2016 at 1:27:14 PM UTC-4, Janet wrote:
>>>>
>>>> Parents are family.
>>>>
>>>> ISTR your care of your mother amounts to a phone call once a week.
>>>> You're nearly 60, aren't you? So she's pushing 80. One phone call a week
>>>> is your best shot?
>>>
>>> My 82-year-old mother is lucky if she hears from me once a month.
>>> OTOH, I was just over there last week to set up her WIFI network.
>>>
>>> Cindy Hamilton
>>>
>> At least you are close enough to go over there and help her out when
>> necessary.
>>
>> Cordova, TN to Dataw Island, SC is not exactly a hop, skip and a jump.
>> Especially not when driving with a car-sick cat in a carrier in the back
>> seat. Gary makes it sound like I committed a mortal sin because I
>> boarded her. Instead, I boarded an airplane.
>
> Did you explain to Persia why you were leaving her? Did she understand?

Did she understand she was in a place with her favorite knitted afghan
for a bed and her catnip toys? Did she understand food and water was
provided and the vet techs loved to play with her? Yep, I'm sure she
understood that. It was a far cry from how she came to live with me, an
abandoned cat that yelled at my back patio door on January 6th, 2001,
when the temps were dropping to below freezing. I went to the store,
bought a litter box, litter and some cat food. And invited her inside.

Yeah, obviously I treated this cat terribly during her lifetime.
Through all the vet visits, bladder problems, prescription food.
Damn... I surely treated her badly by boarding her at the vet while I
dealt with my human family.

Jill

On 10/22/2016 11:36 AM, Cheri wrote:
>
> "Gary" > wrote in message ...
>> jmcquown wrote:
>>>
>>> On 10/21/2016 3:10 PM, Cindy Hamilton wrote:
>>> > On Friday, October 21, 2016 at 1:27:14 PM UTC-4, Janet wrote:
>>> >>
>>> >> Parents are family.
>>> >>
>>> >> ISTR your care of your mother amounts to a phone call once a week.
>>> >> You're nearly 60, aren't you? So she's pushing 80. One phone call
>>> a >> week
>>> >> is your best shot?
>>> >
>>> > My 82-year-old mother is lucky if she hears from me once a month.
>>> > OTOH, I was just over there last week to set up her WIFI network.
>>> >
>>> > Cindy Hamilton
>>> >
>>> At least you are close enough to go over there and help her out when
>>> necessary.
>>>
>>> Cordova, TN to Dataw Island, SC is not exactly a hop, skip and a jump.
>>> Especially not when driving with a car-sick cat in a carrier in the back
>>> seat. Gary makes it sound like I committed a mortal sin because I
>>> boarded her. Instead, I boarded an airplane.
>>
>> Did you explain to Persia why you were leaving her? Did she understand?

Oh, puleeeze. You've really gone off the deep end here.

>> And didn't you go back MONTHS later and still drive her car-sick butt
>> back to carolina with you? Could have done that in the first place.
>>
>> That's just you, but not me.
>> Everyone has differences, right Cheri? :-D
>
> Absolutely Gary! There is nothing wrong with boarding a pet when the
> circumstances call for it, many rescues are boarded for long periods
> when waiting to be adopted and they are treated very well in the process.
>
> Cheri
>
>
He seems to think you were going to validate him. He seems to think I
should have told my mother NO rather than board my cat and fly down here
when she called me for help.

I know most of the shelter cats and rescues around here are well taken
care of. Fact is, I didn't leave Persia at a "shelter". She was
boarded at her vet, a small location. She had excellent care.

I suppose I could have told my Mom "no". If I had, I likely would have
regretted it. I got to spend her last months with her. I wouldn't
trade that for anything. Ah, but Persia was with us those months. And
my mother actually got used to having a cat around. <G>

Jill

In article >,
says...

> My pets are definitely not second class citizens! I feel I must not
> be out over so many hours because of Winnie and now it is darker with
> a storm coming, I actually left the light on in here because of Red
> Belly.

I have to know.. what is Red Belly and what difference does the light
make to R.B?

Janet UK

"jmcquown" > wrote in message
...
> On 10/22/2016 11:36 AM, Cheri wrote:
>>
>> "Gary" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>> jmcquown wrote:
>>>>
>>>> On 10/21/2016 3:10 PM, Cindy Hamilton wrote:
>>>> > On Friday, October 21, 2016 at 1:27:14 PM UTC-4, Janet wrote:
>>>> >>
>>>> >> Parents are family.
>>>> >>
>>>> >> ISTR your care of your mother amounts to a phone call once a week.
>>>> >> You're nearly 60, aren't you? So she's pushing 80. One phone call
>>>> a >> week
>>>> >> is your best shot?
>>>> >
>>>> > My 82-year-old mother is lucky if she hears from me once a month.
>>>> > OTOH, I was just over there last week to set up her WIFI network.
>>>> >
>>>> > Cindy Hamilton
>>>> >
>>>> At least you are close enough to go over there and help her out when
>>>> necessary.
>>>>
>>>> Cordova, TN to Dataw Island, SC is not exactly a hop, skip and a jump.
>>>> Especially not when driving with a car-sick cat in a carrier in the
>>>> back
>>>> seat. Gary makes it sound like I committed a mortal sin because I
>>>> boarded her. Instead, I boarded an airplane.
>>>
>>> Did you explain to Persia why you were leaving her? Did she understand?
>
> Oh, puleeeze. You've really gone off the deep end here.
>
>>> And didn't you go back MONTHS later and still drive her car-sick butt
>>> back to carolina with you? Could have done that in the first place.
>>>
>>> That's just you, but not me.
>>> Everyone has differences, right Cheri? :-D
>>
>> Absolutely Gary! There is nothing wrong with boarding a pet when the
>> circumstances call for it, many rescues are boarded for long periods
>> when waiting to be adopted and they are treated very well in the process.
>>
>> Cheri
>>
>>
> He seems to think you were going to validate him. He seems to think I
> should have told my mother NO rather than board my cat and fly down here
> when she called me for help.
>
> I know most of the shelter cats and rescues around here are well taken
> care of. Fact is, I didn't leave Persia at a "shelter". She was boarded
> at her vet, a small location. She had excellent care.
>
> I suppose I could have told my Mom "no". If I had, I likely would have
> regretted it. I got to spend her last months with her. I wouldn't trade
> that for anything. Ah, but Persia was with us those months. And my
> mother actually got used to having a cat around. <G>
>
> Jill

On some issues, he's full of it, this would be one of those times. Many
boarding places are quite plush with excellent care, but Gary seems to think
that your cat was sitting around all day hating on you and wondering why
Jill did this to me, or remembering for the rest of her life that she was
boarded. Total bullshit.

Cheri

On 10/22/2016 12:29 PM, Cheri wrote:
>
> "jmcquown" > wrote in message
> ...
>> On 10/22/2016 11:36 AM, Cheri wrote:
>>>
>>> "Gary" > wrote in message
>>> ...
>>>> jmcquown wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>> On 10/21/2016 3:10 PM, Cindy Hamilton wrote:
>>>>> > On Friday, October 21, 2016 at 1:27:14 PM UTC-4, Janet wrote:
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >> Parents are family.
>>>>> >>
>>>>> >> ISTR your care of your mother amounts to a phone call once a week.
>>>>> >> You're nearly 60, aren't you? So she's pushing 80. One phone call
>>>>> a >> week
>>>>> >> is your best shot?
>>>>> >
>>>>> > My 82-year-old mother is lucky if she hears from me once a month.
>>>>> > OTOH, I was just over there last week to set up her WIFI network.
>>>>> >
>>>>> > Cindy Hamilton
>>>>> >
>>>>> At least you are close enough to go over there and help her out when
>>>>> necessary.
>>>>>
>>>>> Cordova, TN to Dataw Island, SC is not exactly a hop, skip and a jump.
>>>>> Especially not when driving with a car-sick cat in a carrier in the
>>>>> back
>>>>> seat. Gary makes it sound like I committed a mortal sin because I
>>>>> boarded her. Instead, I boarded an airplane.
>>>>
>>>> Did you explain to Persia why you were leaving her? Did she understand?
>>
>> Oh, puleeeze. You've really gone off the deep end here.
>>
>>>> And didn't you go back MONTHS later and still drive her car-sick butt
>>>> back to carolina with you? Could have done that in the first place.
>>>>
>>>> That's just you, but not me.
>>>> Everyone has differences, right Cheri? :-D
>>>
>>> Absolutely Gary! There is nothing wrong with boarding a pet when the
>>> circumstances call for it, many rescues are boarded for long periods
>>> when waiting to be adopted and they are treated very well in the
>>> process.
>>>
>>> Cheri
>>>
>>>
>> He seems to think you were going to validate him. He seems to think I
>> should have told my mother NO rather than board my cat and fly down
>> here when she called me for help.
>>
>> I know most of the shelter cats and rescues around here are well taken
>> care of. Fact is, I didn't leave Persia at a "shelter". She was
>> boarded at her vet, a small location. She had excellent care.
>>
>> I suppose I could have told my Mom "no". If I had, I likely would
>> have regretted it. I got to spend her last months with her. I
>> wouldn't trade that for anything. Ah, but Persia was with us those
>> months. And my mother actually got used to having a cat around. <G>
>>
>> Jill
>
> On some issues, he's full of it, this would be one of those times. Many
> boarding places are quite plush with excellent care, but Gary seems to
> think that your cat was sitting around all day hating on you and
> wondering why Jill did this to me, or remembering for the rest of her
> life that she was boarded. Total bullshit.
>
> Cheri

Yep, that's total bullshit. I don't think Persia was sitting around
miserable and hating me.

Jill

On Sat, 22 Oct 2016 08:36:56 -0700, "Cheri" >
wrote:

>
>"Gary" > wrote in message ...
>> jmcquown wrote:
>>>
>>> On 10/21/2016 3:10 PM, Cindy Hamilton wrote:
>>> > On Friday, October 21, 2016 at 1:27:14 PM UTC-4, Janet wrote:
>>> >>
>>> >> Parents are family.
>>> >>
>>> >> ISTR your care of your mother amounts to a phone call once a week.
>>> >> You're nearly 60, aren't you? So she's pushing 80. One phone call a
>>> >> week
>>> >> is your best shot?
>>> >
>>> > My 82-year-old mother is lucky if she hears from me once a month.
>>> > OTOH, I was just over there last week to set up her WIFI network.
>>> >
>>> > Cindy Hamilton
>>> >
>>> At least you are close enough to go over there and help her out when
>>> necessary.
>>>
>>> Cordova, TN to Dataw Island, SC is not exactly a hop, skip and a jump.
>>> Especially not when driving with a car-sick cat in a carrier in the back
>>> seat. Gary makes it sound like I committed a mortal sin because I
>>> boarded her. Instead, I boarded an airplane.
>>
>> Did you explain to Persia why you were leaving her? Did she understand?
>> And didn't you go back MONTHS later and still drive her car-sick butt
>> back to carolina with you? Could have done that in the first place.
>>
>> That's just you, but not me.
>> Everyone has differences, right Cheri? :-D
>
>Absolutely Gary! There is nothing wrong with boarding a pet when the
>circumstances call for it, many rescues are boarded for long periods when
>waiting to be adopted and they are treated very well in the process.
>
>Cheri

I don't believe in boarding a pet for the purpose of a pleasure such
as a week's vacation or a night out of town for a dinner party but
sometimes emergencies such as caring for a sick relative mandate a pet
be boarded. The only times I've ever boarded a pet was due to it
having elective surgery (neutering/spaying) or it being ill and
requiring professional medical care... spending a day or two as an
in-patient in an animal hospital is really not boarding. The longest
I've ever left my pets home alone is to mow the lawn, and even then
I'd return every few hours.

On Sat, 22 Oct 2016 12:05:47 -0400, jmcquown >
wrote:

>On 10/22/2016 10:58 AM, Gary wrote:
>> jmcquown wrote:
>>>
>>> On 10/21/2016 3:10 PM, Cindy Hamilton wrote:
>>>> On Friday, October 21, 2016 at 1:27:14 PM UTC-4, Janet wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>> Parents are family.
>>>>>
>>>>> ISTR your care of your mother amounts to a phone call once a week.
>>>>> You're nearly 60, aren't you? So she's pushing 80. One phone call a week
>>>>> is your best shot?
>>>>
>>>> My 82-year-old mother is lucky if she hears from me once a month.
>>>> OTOH, I was just over there last week to set up her WIFI network.
>>>>
>>>> Cindy Hamilton
>>>>
>>> At least you are close enough to go over there and help her out when
>>> necessary.
>>>
>>> Cordova, TN to Dataw Island, SC is not exactly a hop, skip and a jump.
>>> Especially not when driving with a car-sick cat in a carrier in the back
>>> seat. Gary makes it sound like I committed a mortal sin because I
>>> boarded her. Instead, I boarded an airplane.
>>
>> Did you explain to Persia why you were leaving her? Did she understand?
>
>Did she understand she was in a place with her favorite knitted afghan
>for a bed and her catnip toys? Did she understand food and water was
>provided and the vet techs loved to play with her? Yep, I'm sure she
>understood that. It was a far cry from how she came to live with me, an
>abandoned cat that yelled at my back patio door on January 6th, 2001,
>when the temps were dropping to below freezing. I went to the store,
>bought a litter box, litter and some cat food. And invited her inside.
>
>Yeah, obviously I treated this cat terribly during her lifetime.
>Through all the vet visits, bladder problems, prescription food.
>Damn... I surely treated her badly by boarding her at the vet while I
>dealt with my human family.
>
>Jill

Were it Gary begging at my back door I'd crate him and ship him off to
Persia, I mean Iran.

"Brooklyn1" > wrote in message
...
> On Sat, 22 Oct 2016 08:36:56 -0700, "Cheri" >
> wrote:
>
>>
>>"Gary" > wrote in message
...
>>> jmcquown wrote:
>>>>
>>>> On 10/21/2016 3:10 PM, Cindy Hamilton wrote:
>>>> > On Friday, October 21, 2016 at 1:27:14 PM UTC-4, Janet wrote:
>>>> >>
>>>> >> Parents are family.
>>>> >>
>>>> >> ISTR your care of your mother amounts to a phone call once a week.
>>>> >> You're nearly 60, aren't you? So she's pushing 80. One phone call a
>>>> >> week
>>>> >> is your best shot?
>>>> >
>>>> > My 82-year-old mother is lucky if she hears from me once a month.
>>>> > OTOH, I was just over there last week to set up her WIFI network.
>>>> >
>>>> > Cindy Hamilton
>>>> >
>>>> At least you are close enough to go over there and help her out when
>>>> necessary.
>>>>
>>>> Cordova, TN to Dataw Island, SC is not exactly a hop, skip and a jump.
>>>> Especially not when driving with a car-sick cat in a carrier in the
>>>> back
>>>> seat. Gary makes it sound like I committed a mortal sin because I
>>>> boarded her. Instead, I boarded an airplane.
>>>
>>> Did you explain to Persia why you were leaving her? Did she understand?
>>> And didn't you go back MONTHS later and still drive her car-sick butt
>>> back to carolina with you? Could have done that in the first place.
>>>
>>> That's just you, but not me.
>>> Everyone has differences, right Cheri? :-D
>>
>>Absolutely Gary! There is nothing wrong with boarding a pet when the
>>circumstances call for it, many rescues are boarded for long periods when
>>waiting to be adopted and they are treated very well in the process.
>>
>>Cheri
>
> I don't believe in boarding a pet for the purpose of a pleasure such
> as a week's vacation or a night out of town for a dinner party but
> sometimes emergencies such as caring for a sick relative mandate a pet
> be boarded. The only times I've ever boarded a pet was due to it
> having elective surgery (neutering/spaying) or it being ill and
> requiring professional medical care... spending a day or two as an
> in-patient in an animal hospital is really not boarding. The longest
> I've ever left my pets home alone is to mow the lawn, and even then
> I'd return every few hours.

I don't think there's a thing wrong with boarding a pet when circumstance
warrant it, some low-lifes simply abandon them to the elements on a
roadside, now...they are the despicable people, not the people who love
their pets and occasionally board them at a good facility.

Cheri

In article >, gravesend10
@verizon.net says...
>
> On Sat, 22 Oct 2016 12:05:47 -0400, jmcquown >
> wrote:

> >> Did you explain to Persia why you were leaving her? Did she understand?
> >
> >Did she understand she was in a place with her favorite knitted afghan
> >for a bed and her catnip toys? Did she understand food and water was
> >provided and the vet techs loved to play with her? Yep, I'm sure she
> >understood that. It was a far cry from how she came to live with me, an
> >abandoned cat that yelled at my back patio door on January 6th, 2001,
> >when the temps were dropping to below freezing. I went to the store,
> >bought a litter box, litter and some cat food. And invited her inside.
> >
> >Yeah, obviously I treated this cat terribly during her lifetime.
> >Through all the vet visits, bladder problems, prescription food.
> >Damn... I surely treated her badly by boarding her at the vet while I
> >dealt with my human family.
> >
> >Jill
>
> Were it Gary begging at my back door I'd crate him and ship him off to
> Persia, I mean Iran.

LOL.

Janet UK

On Sat, 22 Oct 2016 17:22:08 +0100, Janet > wrote:

>In article >,
says...
>
>> My pets are definitely not second class citizens! I feel I must not
>> be out over so many hours because of Winnie and now it is darker with
>> a storm coming, I actually left the light on in here because of Red
>> Belly.
>
> I have to know.. what is Red Belly and what difference does the light
>make to R.B?
>
> Janet UK

He's a (now) very beautiful Beta (Siamese Fighting Fish) that a friend
bought and then didn't really want it - so I took him rather than he
be flushed. I gather their life span is about three years, I can
spare him that. He is in the corner on a cabinet out of direct
sunshine but on a dark day it felt mean to switch the light off just
because I was going out.

In article >,
says...
>
> On Sat, 22 Oct 2016 17:22:08 +0100, Janet > wrote:
>
> >In article >,
> says...
> >
> >> My pets are definitely not second class citizens! I feel I must not
> >> be out over so many hours because of Winnie and now it is darker with
> >> a storm coming, I actually left the light on in here because of Red
> >> Belly.
> >
> > I have to know.. what is Red Belly and what difference does the light
> >make to R.B?
> >
> > Janet UK
>
> He's a (now) very beautiful Beta (Siamese Fighting Fish) that a friend
> bought and then didn't really want it - so I took him rather than he
> be flushed. I gather their life span is about three years, I can
> spare him that. He is in the corner on a cabinet out of direct
> sunshine but on a dark day it felt mean to switch the light off just
> because I was going out.

Thankyou :-) I can sleep tonight now.

I supposed Winnie was a cat. LOL

Janet

jmcquown wrote in rec.food.cooking:

> On 10/22/2016 11:36 AM, Cheri wrote:
> >
> >"Gary" > wrote in message
> ...
> > > jmcquown wrote:
> > > >
> > > > On 10/21/2016 3:10 PM, Cindy Hamilton wrote:
> >>>> On Friday, October 21, 2016 at 1:27:14 PM UTC-4, Janet wrote:
> > > > > >
> >>>>> Parents are family.
> > > > > >
> >>>>> ISTR your care of your mother amounts to a phone call once a
> week. >>>>> You're nearly 60, aren't you? So she's pushing 80. One
> phone call >>>a >> week
> >>>>> is your best shot?
> > > > >
> >>>> My 82-year-old mother is lucky if she hears from me once a month.
> >>>> OTOH, I was just over there last week to set up her WIFI network.
> > > > >
> >>>> Cindy Hamilton
> > > > >
> > > > At least you are close enough to go over there and help her out
> > > > when necessary.
> > > >
> > > > Cordova, TN to Dataw Island, SC is not exactly a hop, skip and
> > > > a jump. Especially not when driving with a car-sick cat in a
> > > > carrier in the back seat. Gary makes it sound like I committed
> > > > a mortal sin because I boarded her. Instead, I boarded an
> > > > airplane.
> > >
> > > Did you explain to Persia why you were leaving her? Did she
> > > understand?
>
> Oh, puleeeze. You've really gone off the deep end here.
>
> > > And didn't you go back MONTHS later and still drive her car-sick
> > > butt back to carolina with you? Could have done that in the first
> > > place.
> > >
> > > That's just you, but not me.
> > > Everyone has differences, right Cheri? :-D
> >
> > Absolutely Gary! There is nothing wrong with boarding a pet when the
> > circumstances call for it, many rescues are boarded for long periods
> > when waiting to be adopted and they are treated very well in the
> > process.
> >
> > Cheri
> >
> >
> He seems to think you were going to validate him. He seems to think
> I should have told my mother NO rather than board my cat and fly down
> here when she called me for help.
>
> I know most of the shelter cats and rescues around here are well
> taken care of. Fact is, I didn't leave Persia at a "shelter". She
> was boarded at her vet, a small location. She had excellent care.
>
> I suppose I could have told my Mom "no". If I had, I likely would
> have regretted it. I got to spend her last months with her. I
> wouldn't trade that for anything. Ah, but Persia was with us those
> months. And my mother actually got used to having a cat around. <G>
>
> Jill

Jill, most here have not been where you have been. Aging parents can be
a severe issue. I think most here may be 'aging parents' so expect
more than the kids can do. Kudos to you being able to do more.



--

On 2016-10-22 3:42 PM, cshenk wrote:
> jmcquown wrote in rec.food.cooking:

>
> Jill, most here have not been where you have been. Aging parents can be
> a severe issue. I think most here may be 'aging parents' so expect
> more than the kids can do. Kudos to you being able to do more.

It can certainly be demanding. It doesn't seem to help if there are more
than one child because it always seems to fall on one person. I can't
tell you how many families I have known where one person ended up with
the responsibility for an aged parent while the others just sort of
disappeared. It can be even worse when the children disagree with
siblings about issues, like whether or not to put the parent in a home
or what kind of home.

I had enough issues with my brothers when it came to our mother in her
last few years. It was a good deal for me when she had decided to move
the house and buy a condo. One brother was two far away to be expected
to come and help. One is clinically depressed and was of little help.
The third had had a heart attack. That left most of the work to me.

They decided that we <?> should rototill the back section of the yard
where Dad's vegetable garden had been and replace the garden with grass.
What they meant was that I would have to rototill the garden, rake it,
roll it and seed it and then keep going back to water it. I went down
there on a day off to do it and my father's rototiller was gone. It
seemed that one of the brothers who had an excuse not to do heavy work
had come the day before to take the rototiller home for his neighbour to
use. They stuck me with the job and then one took the tool I needed to
do the job.

When our mother had a heart problem that sent her to the hospital she
was released after a few days on condition that she had 24/7 care for a
month. One brother was quick to excuse the one who lived a few hours
away because of the long drive, and seems to have thought his schedule
was too busy for him to do more than one 12 shift per week. That left me
and the other brother to cover the other 6 days. Luckily, my wife was
very close with my mother and covered a lot of those shifts.

A woman down the road had 13 brothers and sisters and the siblings all
objected to her taking the mother to live with her and her husband and
thought they should put her in a home. Neighbour was willing to bear the
expense and to do the work, but she needed siblings to come by once in a
while to watch the mother while she went out to do shopping. No one had
time to do that. Even the siblings who used to come by every Saturday
and Sunday with their children and grandchildren to swim in their pool,
eat their food and drink their booze didn't have time to come by and
enjoy her hospitality anymore. Hell, they would have been there to swim
anyway.

To make matters worse, the mother had only<?> $100,000 in a joint
account with her and an understanding that when she died the money would
be split among the siblings. Some objected to her leaving a deceased
sister's share to her children and two brothers objected to the
arrangement and threatened to take her to court. That would have quickly
eaten their share of the estate.

Dave Smith wrote in rec.food.cooking:

> On 2016-10-22 3:42 PM, cshenk wrote:
> > jmcquown wrote in rec.food.cooking:
>
> >
> > Jill, most here have not been where you have been. Aging parents
> > can be a severe issue. I think most here may be 'aging parents' so
> > expect more than the kids can do. Kudos to you being able to do
> > more.
>
> It can certainly be demanding. It doesn't seem to help if there are
> more than one child because it always seems to fall on one person. I
> can't tell you how many families I have known where one person ended
> up with the responsibility for an aged parent while the others just
> sort of disappeared. It can be even worse when the children disagree
> with siblings about issues, like whether or not to put the parent in
> a home or what kind of home.
>
> I had enough issues with my brothers when it came to our mother in
> her last few years. It was a good deal for me when she had decided to
> move the house and buy a condo. One brother was two far away to be
> expected to come and help. One is clinically depressed and was of
> little help. The third had had a heart attack. That left most of the
> work to me.
>
> They decided that we <?> should rototill the back section of the yard
> where Dad's vegetable garden had been and replace the garden with
> grass. What they meant was that I would have to rototill the garden,
> rake it, roll it and seed it and then keep going back to water it. I
> went down there on a day off to do it and my father's rototiller was
> gone. It seemed that one of the brothers who had an excuse not to do
> heavy work had come the day before to take the rototiller home for
> his neighbour to use. They stuck me with the job and then one took
> the tool I needed to do the job.
>
> When our mother had a heart problem that sent her to the hospital she
> was released after a few days on condition that she had 24/7 care for
> a month. One brother was quick to excuse the one who lived a few
> hours away because of the long drive, and seems to have thought his
> schedule was too busy for him to do more than one 12 shift per week.
> That left me and the other brother to cover the other 6 days.
> Luckily, my wife was very close with my mother and covered a lot of
> those shifts.
>
> A woman down the road had 13 brothers and sisters and the siblings
> all objected to her taking the mother to live with her and her
> husband and thought they should put her in a home. Neighbour was
> willing to bear the expense and to do the work, but she needed
> siblings to come by once in a while to watch the mother while she
> went out to do shopping. No one had time to do that. Even the
> siblings who used to come by every Saturday and Sunday with their
> children and grandchildren to swim in their pool, eat their food and
> drink their booze didn't have time to come by and enjoy her
> hospitality anymore. Hell, they would have been there to swim anyway.
>
> To make matters worse, the mother had only<?> $100,000 in a joint
> account with her and an understanding that when she died the money
> would be split among the siblings. Some objected to her leaving a
> deceased sister's share to her children and two brothers objected to
> the arrangement and threatened to take her to court. That would have
> quickly eaten their share of the estate.

Yes, it can get ugly. There are even times where various states tried
to force abused kids to provide total care to the abusive parent up to
and including all costs for care or providing 24/7 care (meaning no job
income).



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