I had to fly out to BC last weekend to attend a celebration of life for
my oldest and bested friend who had died suddenly. He had a large
extended family. He had one daughter, two stepsons and two
stepdaughters, and a bunch more extended family that included the kids'
half brothers and half sisters, and more who adored the guy. Some of the
kids own a "Organic Farm Community and Wellness Centre Organic Farm" on
Saltspring Island where the hosted the event.

There were no church lady sandwiches. In fact, I don't remember any
bread at all. There was a platted piled high with slices of salami and a
couple types of cheese, a platter of the most delicious onion tarts you
could imagine, a platter of the 4 or 5 huge fillets of smoked salmon, a
couple platters of assorted cheeses.... Brie, Camenbert, creamy Brie,
Blue cheeses and many more. Then there huge selection of fresh fruits.
They had an assortment of nice wines, Champagne and some craft beers.

My friend had been a musician and some of his friends and former band
mates provided the music.

On Wednesday, November 22, 2017 at 4:37:39 PM UTC-6, Dave Smith wrote:
>
> I had to fly out to BC last weekend to attend a celebration of life for
> my oldest and bested friend who had died suddenly. He had a large
> extended family. He had one daughter, two stepsons and two
> stepdaughters, and a bunch more extended family that included the kids'
> half brothers and half sisters, and more who adored the guy. Some of the
> kids own a "Organic Farm Community and Wellness Centre Organic Farm" on
> Saltspring Island where the hosted the event.
>
> There were no church lady sandwiches. In fact, I don't remember any
> bread at all. There was a platted piled high with slices of salami and a
> couple types of cheese, a platter of the most delicious onion tarts you
> could imagine, a platter of the 4 or 5 huge fillets of smoked salmon, a
> couple platters of assorted cheeses.... Brie, Camenbert, creamy Brie,
> Blue cheeses and many more. Then there huge selection of fresh fruits.
> They had an assortment of nice wines, Champagne and some craft beers.
>
> My friend had been a musician and some of his friends and former band
> mates provided the music.
>
>
I'm glad you got to attend, just sad for the reason of your trip.
Everything you mentioned does sound mouth watering.

On Wed, 22 Nov 2017 17:39:05 -0500, Dave Smith
> wrote:

>I had to fly out to BC last weekend to attend a celebration of life for
>my oldest and bested friend who had died suddenly. He had a large
>extended family. He had one daughter, two stepsons and two
>stepdaughters, and a bunch more extended family that included the kids'
>half brothers and half sisters, and more who adored the guy. Some of the
>kids own a "Organic Farm Community and Wellness Centre Organic Farm" on
>Saltspring Island where the hosted the event.
>
>There were no church lady sandwiches. In fact, I don't remember any
>bread at all. There was a platted piled high with slices of salami and a
>couple types of cheese, a platter of the most delicious onion tarts you
>could imagine, a platter of the 4 or 5 huge fillets of smoked salmon, a
>couple platters of assorted cheeses.... Brie, Camenbert, creamy Brie,
>Blue cheeses and many more. Then there huge selection of fresh fruits.
>They had an assortment of nice wines, Champagne and some craft beers.
>
>My friend had been a musician and some of his friends and former band
>mates provided the music.

Sounds lovely. I have a friend who lives on SSI. I understand the
place is quite a "foodie" destination. I've bought goat cheese from
there.

Doris

On Wednesday, November 22, 2017 at 2:37:39 PM UTC-8, Dave Smith wrote:
> I had to fly out to BC last weekend to attend a celebration of life for
> my oldest and bested friend who had died suddenly. He had a large
> extended family. He had one daughter, two stepsons and two
> stepdaughters, and a bunch more extended family that included the kids'
> half brothers and half sisters, and more who adored the guy. Some of the
> kids own a "Organic Farm Community and Wellness Centre Organic Farm" on
> Saltspring Island where the hosted the event.
>
> There were no church lady sandwiches. In fact, I don't remember any
> bread at all. There was a platted piled high with slices of salami and a
> couple types of cheese, a platter of the most delicious onion tarts you
> could imagine, a platter of the 4 or 5 huge fillets of smoked salmon, a
> couple platters of assorted cheeses.... Brie, Camenbert, creamy Brie,
> Blue cheeses and many more. Then there huge selection of fresh fruits.
> They had an assortment of nice wines, Champagne and some craft beers.
>
> My friend had been a musician and some of his friends and former band
> mates provided the music.

You were in my neck of the woods. I live just across the border in Bellingham.

HMU

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On 2017-11-23 12:35 AM, ImStillMags wrote:
> On Wednesday, November 22, 2017 at 2:37:39 PM UTC-8, Dave Smith wrote:

>> There were no church lady sandwiches. In fact, I don't remember any
>> bread at all. There was a platted piled high with slices of salami and a
>> couple types of cheese, a platter of the most delicious onion tarts you
>> could imagine, a platter of the 4 or 5 huge fillets of smoked salmon, a
>> couple platters of assorted cheeses.... Brie, Camenbert, creamy Brie,
>> Blue cheeses and many more. Then there huge selection of fresh fruits.
>> They had an assortment of nice wines, Champagne and some craft beers.
>>
>> My friend had been a musician and some of his friends and former band
>> mates provided the music.
>
> You were in my neck of the woods. I live just across the border in Bellingham.
>

I envy you. It is beautiful out there. I wish my parents had stayed
out there. My father was in the air force and spent the last year of the
war as a flight instructor at Boundary Bay. My mother hated the weather.

On 11/22/2017 5:39 PM, Dave Smith wrote:
> I had to fly out to BC last weekend to attend a celebration of life for
> my oldest and bested friend who had died suddenly.Â* He had a large
> extended family. He had one daughter, two stepsons and two
> stepdaughters, and a bunch more extended family that included the kids'
> half brothers and half sisters, and more who adored the guy. Some of the
> kids own a "Organic Farm Community and Wellness Centre Organic Farm" on
> Saltspring Island where the hosted the event.
>
> There were no church lady sandwiches. In fact, I don't remember any
> bread at all. There was a platted piled high with slices of salami and a
> couple types of cheese, a platter of the most delicious onion tarts you
> could imagine, a platter of the 4 or 5 huge fillets of smoked salmon, a
> couple platters of assorted cheeses.... Brie, Camenbert, creamy Brie,
> Blue cheeses and many more.Â* Then there huge selection of fresh fruits.
> They had an assortment of nice wines, Champagne and some craft beers.
>
> My friend had been a musician and some of his friends and former band
> mates provided the music.
>
I'm sorry for the reason, it's no fun to lose a friend. I'm glad it
wasn't the church-lady sandwiches and casseroles in a church basement.
I've never actually attended a dead spread, just heard about them here.

Jill

On Thu, 23 Nov 2017 10:06:38 -0500, jmcquown >
wrote:
snip
>I'm sorry for the reason, it's no fun to lose a friend. I'm glad it
>wasn't the church-lady sandwiches and casseroles in a church basement.
>I've never actually attended a dead spread, just heard about them here.
>
>Jill

I remember them from childhood and they were the best ever. I think
things have changed. There was always this one older lady that
brought a cake and I watched for her. Her cake (from scratch of
course) was dark chocolate with cherries in it and was frosted with
that cooked, white frosting with melted dark chocolate heavily
drizzled over that. A child's dream cake
Janet US

On Thursday, November 23, 2017 at 11:14:20 AM UTC-5, U.S. Janet B. wrote:
> On Thu, 23 Nov 2017 10:06:38 -0500, jmcquown >
> wrote:
> snip
> >I'm sorry for the reason, it's no fun to lose a friend. I'm glad it
> >wasn't the church-lady sandwiches and casseroles in a church basement.
> >I've never actually attended a dead spread, just heard about them here.
> >
> >Jill
>
> I remember them from childhood and they were the best ever. I think
> things have changed. There was always this one older lady that
> brought a cake and I watched for her. Her cake (from scratch of
> course) was dark chocolate with cherries in it and was frosted with
> that cooked, white frosting with melted dark chocolate heavily
> drizzled over that. A child's dream cake
> Janet US

Things have changed. The dead spread for my great-grandfather was
at my grandfather's house. City ham, potato salad, three- or
five-bean salad, just a ton of stuff. Nearly everybody who
attended brought something, and it was all homemade.

Cindy Hamilton

On 11/23/2017 12:09 PM, Wayne Boatwright wrote:
> On Thu 23 Nov 2017 08:06:38a, jmcquown told us...
>
>> On 11/22/2017 5:39 PM, Dave Smith wrote:
>>> I had to fly out to BC last weekend to attend a celebration of
>>> life for my oldest and bested friend who had died suddenly.ÂÂ* He
>>> had a large extended family. He had one daughter, two stepsons
>>> and two stepdaughters, and a bunch more extended family that
>>> included the kids' half brothers and half sisters, and more who
>>> adored the guy. Some of the kids own a "Organic Farm Community
>>> and Wellness Centre Organic Farm" on Saltspring Island where the
>>> hosted the event.
>>>
>>> There were no church lady sandwiches. In fact, I don't remember
>>> any bread at all. There was a platted piled high with slices of
>>> salami and a couple types of cheese, a platter of the most
>>> delicious onion tarts you could imagine, a platter of the 4 or 5
>>> huge fillets of smoked salmon, a couple platters of assorted
>>> cheeses.... Brie, Camenbert, creamy Brie, Blue cheeses and many
>>> more.ÂÂ* Then there huge selection of fresh fruits. They had an
>>> assortment of nice wines, Champagne and some craft beers.
>>>
>>> My friend had been a musician and some of his friends and former
>>> band mates provided the music.
>>>
>> I'm sorry for the reason, it's no fun to lose a friend. I'm glad
>> it wasn't the church-lady sandwiches and casseroles in a church
>> basement. I've never actually attended a dead spread, just heard
>> about them here.
>>
>> Jill
>>
>
> Barb Schaller used to write about them on occasion. I've only been
> to one and it was truly wonderful food.
>
Yep, Barb sort of coined the phrase on RFC.

The first funeral I attended was for a girl I went to high school with.
She had just graduated a few months before. She was killed in a car
crash on her way home from work. It was too depressing to consider
going back to her family's house for a gnosh. The only funerals I've
been to since then were my parents'. After Dad's funeral Mom was in no
shape to deal with visitors. When I was making the arrangements she
said NO to the idea of a dead spread.

Jill

On 2017-11-24 9:25 AM, jmcquown wrote:
>
>> Barb Schaller used to write about them on occasion.Â* I've only been
>> to one and it was truly wonderful food.
>>
> Yep, Barb sort of coined the phrase on RFC.
>
> The first funeral I attended was for a girl I went to high school with.
> She had just graduated a few months before.Â* She was killed in a car
> crash on her way home from work.Â* It was too depressing to consider
> going back to her family's house for a gnosh.Â* The only funerals I've
> been to since then were my parents'.Â* After Dad's funeral Mom was in no
> shape to deal with visitors.Â* When I was making the arrangements she
> said NO to the idea of a dead spread.

I first heard the term in this group. I was taken to a few family
funerals when I was a kid, and it was common to have a reception in the
church hall following the service. When I was 14 I attended the funeral
of a good friend and the family had a reception at the house.

When my Italian neighour's parents died the funeral service was done at
a local funeral home/cemetery, followed by a catered sit down meal.
Memorial services for my parents were done at my brother's church,
followed by a short reception at the church and then a less public
reception at the house.

There was no service for my friend. He was an immigrant and the only
blood relatives left were his daughter and his sister, but he had a slew
of step children and their half siblings who adored the guy. One of them
owned the facility where the even was held, and the rest of them put
everything together. There were a number of friends and former
co-workers and band mates who attended.

It was all very casual. There was no service. At one point the widow
had us form a circle and she invited people to speak if they wanted,
followed by some live music. They had several large tables with all
sorts of nibblies.... cold cuts, great cheeses, a lot of smoked salmon,
fruit, desserts, good wines and beers.

It was much better than having some minister use the occasion of
someone's death to give a sermon.

On 2017-11-24 8:26 AM, Dave Smith wrote:

>
> It was much better than having some minister use the occasion of
> someone's death to give a sermon.
>
The son of a friend died of cancer leaving a young widow and 2
elementary school-age sons.
The Papist priest used the occasion to preach a hellfire and damnation
homily of the sort that one might expect in a fundamentalist church on a
normal sunday.
To this day, I regret not reaming him out afterwards.
Graham

On Fri, 24 Nov 2017 09:25:43 -0500, jmcquown >
wrote:

>On 11/23/2017 12:09 PM, Wayne Boatwright wrote:
>> On Thu 23 Nov 2017 08:06:38a, jmcquown told us...
>>
>>> On 11/22/2017 5:39 PM, Dave Smith wrote:
>>>> I had to fly out to BC last weekend to attend a celebration of
>>>> life for my oldest and bested friend who had died suddenly.Â* He
>>>> had a large extended family. He had one daughter, two stepsons
>>>> and two stepdaughters, and a bunch more extended family that
>>>> included the kids' half brothers and half sisters, and more who
>>>> adored the guy. Some of the kids own a "Organic Farm Community
>>>> and Wellness Centre Organic Farm" on Saltspring Island where the
>>>> hosted the event.
>>>>
>>>> There were no church lady sandwiches. In fact, I don't remember
>>>> any bread at all. There was a platted piled high with slices of
>>>> salami and a couple types of cheese, a platter of the most
>>>> delicious onion tarts you could imagine, a platter of the 4 or 5
>>>> huge fillets of smoked salmon, a couple platters of assorted
>>>> cheeses.... Brie, Camenbert, creamy Brie, Blue cheeses and many
>>>> more.Â* Then there huge selection of fresh fruits. They had an
>>>> assortment of nice wines, Champagne and some craft beers.
>>>>
>>>> My friend had been a musician and some of his friends and former
>>>> band mates provided the music.
>>>>
>>> I'm sorry for the reason, it's no fun to lose a friend. I'm glad
>>> it wasn't the church-lady sandwiches and casseroles in a church
>>> basement. I've never actually attended a dead spread, just heard
>>> about them here.
>>>
>>> Jill
>>>
>>
>> Barb Schaller used to write about them on occasion. I've only been
>> to one and it was truly wonderful food.
>>
>Yep, Barb sort of coined the phrase on RFC.
>
>The first funeral I attended was for a girl I went to high school with.
>She had just graduated a few months before. She was killed in a car
>crash on her way home from work. It was too depressing to consider
>going back to her family's house for a gnosh. The only funerals I've
>been to since then were my parents'. After Dad's funeral Mom was in no
>shape to deal with visitors. When I was making the arrangements she
>said NO to the idea of a dead spread.
>
>Jill

The one church service I attended to honor the recently deceased
served food in the side yard but it wasn't called a dead spread...
was simply called a Feed.

On Fri, 24 Nov 2017 09:25:43 -0500, jmcquown >
wrote:

>On 11/23/2017 12:09 PM, Wayne Boatwright wrote:
>> On Thu 23 Nov 2017 08:06:38a, jmcquown told us...
>>
>>> On 11/22/2017 5:39 PM, Dave Smith wrote:
>>>> I had to fly out to BC last weekend to attend a celebration of
>>>> life for my oldest and bested friend who had died suddenly.Â* He
>>>> had a large extended family. He had one daughter, two stepsons
>>>> and two stepdaughters, and a bunch more extended family that
>>>> included the kids' half brothers and half sisters, and more who
>>>> adored the guy. Some of the kids own a "Organic Farm Community
>>>> and Wellness Centre Organic Farm" on Saltspring Island where the
>>>> hosted the event.
>>>>
>>>> There were no church lady sandwiches. In fact, I don't remember
>>>> any bread at all. There was a platted piled high with slices of
>>>> salami and a couple types of cheese, a platter of the most
>>>> delicious onion tarts you could imagine, a platter of the 4 or 5
>>>> huge fillets of smoked salmon, a couple platters of assorted
>>>> cheeses.... Brie, Camenbert, creamy Brie, Blue cheeses and many
>>>> more.Â* Then there huge selection of fresh fruits. They had an
>>>> assortment of nice wines, Champagne and some craft beers.
>>>>
>>>> My friend had been a musician and some of his friends and former
>>>> band mates provided the music.
>>>>
>>> I'm sorry for the reason, it's no fun to lose a friend. I'm glad
>>> it wasn't the church-lady sandwiches and casseroles in a church
>>> basement. I've never actually attended a dead spread, just heard
>>> about them here.
>>>
>>> Jill
>>>
>>
>> Barb Schaller used to write about them on occasion. I've only been
>> to one and it was truly wonderful food.
>>
>Yep, Barb sort of coined the phrase on RFC.
>
>The first funeral I attended was for a girl I went to high school with.
>She had just graduated a few months before. She was killed in a car
>crash on her way home from work. It was too depressing to consider
>going back to her family's house for a gnosh. The only funerals I've
>been to since then were my parents'. After Dad's funeral Mom was in no
>shape to deal with visitors. When I was making the arrangements she
>said NO to the idea of a dead spread.
>
>Jill

My mother chose to have the dead spread and no funeral. She did not
want her money used on a funeral. I arranged to have her body cremated
and then we had a wake and only invited people that she loved or
liked.

JB

On 11/29/2017 11:18 PM, JBurns wrote:
> On Fri, 24 Nov 2017 09:25:43 -0500, jmcquown >
> wrote:
>
>> The first funeral I attended was for a girl I went to high school with.
>> She had just graduated a few months before. She was killed in a car
>> crash on her way home from work. It was too depressing to consider
>> going back to her family's house for a gnosh. The only funerals I've
>> been to since then were my parents'. After Dad's funeral Mom was in no
>> shape to deal with visitors. When I was making the arrangements she
>> said NO to the idea of a dead spread.
>>
>> Jill
>
> My mother chose to have the dead spread and no funeral. She did not
> want her money used on a funeral. I arranged to have her body cremated
> and then we had a wake and only invited people that she loved or
> liked.
>
> JB
>
Every circumstance is different. My mom didn't know what Dad might
want. He had Alzheimers. But even before that... you never discussed
it? Nope. It was hard for me to ask because that brought up the issue
of her own mortality.

She opted for cremation and selected a nice marble urn. (She did this
with me, a couple of months before he died.)

The funerals were at the National cemetery (military) so they didn't
have to buy plots. Just the urns and the services of the funeral home.
Since she liked the urn I chose the same urn for her. The urns were
interred (later) and bronze plaques placed to mark them.

Not many of their friends were still alive or in good enough health to
attend the grave-side service. As for family, it was just my two
brothers and me. Other living relatives were either too old or too
far-flung and hadn't seen them in decades anyway. I wouldn't have known
what to say to their few remaining friends if we'd invited them over
afterwards. Somehow I can't picture a jolly gathering. I didn't get
the impression they'd be the types to bring casseroles, either.

Jill

On 11/29/2017 11:18 PM, JBurns wrote:

> My mother chose to have the dead spread and no funeral. She did not
> want her money used on a funeral. I arranged to have her body cremated
> and then we had a wake and only invited people that she loved or
> liked.
>
> JB
>

Mom was smart, IMO. Cremation is smart. I don't see the value of
putting a $3000 box in the ground, never to be seen again. If I've not
seen you in 20 years I won't see you if you show up at my funeral either.

On 2017-11-30, Ed Pawlowski > wrote:

> Cremation is smart. I don't see the value of putting a $3000 box in
> the ground, never to be seen again.

I'm not sure I see the value in "Cremation". Cost me almost $2K fer a
lil' plastic box o' ashes. Are they really my mom? Got me! (shrug).

nb

"Ed Pawlowski" wrote in message ...

On 11/29/2017 11:18 PM, JBurns wrote:

> My mother chose to have the dead spread and no funeral. She did not
> want her money used on a funeral. I arranged to have her body cremated
> and then we had a wake and only invited people that she loved or
> liked.
>
> JB
>

Mom was smart, IMO. Cremation is smart. I don't see the value of
putting a $3000 box in the ground, never to be seen again. If I've not
seen you in 20 years I won't see you if you show up at my funeral either.

==

Amen to that! We have all the paperwork for both of us being cremated, What
the kids do after that is whatever they want

One will definitely want a church service and the rest a wake. I am happy
with it all.

--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk

On 2017-11-30 11:13 AM, Ed Pawlowski wrote:
> On 11/29/2017 11:18 PM, JBurns wrote:
>
>> My mother chose to have the dead spread and no funeral. She did not
>> want her money used on a funeral. I arranged to have her body cremated
>> and then we had a wake and only invited people that she loved or
>> liked.
>>
>> JB
>>
>
> Mom was smart, IMO.Â* Cremation is smart.Â* I don't see the value of
> putting a $3000 box in the ground, never to be seen again.Â* If I've not
> seen you in 20 years I won't see you if you show up at my funeral either.

It may be a cultural thing. In some cultures you are expected to spend a
small fortune to honour the dead. I am with you about putting an
expensive box in the ground. It is ridiculous, but some people feel
obligated to spend a lot of money on a casket and service.

Not to long ago I read a news item about a teenage buy who died
tragically and the family had set up a Go Fund Me account to raise money
for his funeral. They were aiming for $35,000. You can have someone
cremated and buried for under $4000. You have to wonder why a family on
welfare would expect 9 times that much.

On 11/30/2017 10:48 AM, Dave Smith wrote:
> On 2017-11-30 11:13 AM, Ed Pawlowski wrote:
>> On 11/29/2017 11:18 PM, JBurns wrote:
>>
>>> My mother chose to have the dead spread and no funeral. She did not
>>> want her money used on a funeral. I arranged to have her body cremated
>>> and then we had a wake and only invited people that she loved or
>>> liked.
>>>
>>> JB
>>>
>>
>> Mom was smart, IMO.Â* Cremation is smart.Â* I don't see the value of
>> putting a $3000 box in the ground, never to be seen again.Â* If I've not
>> seen you in 20 years I won't see you if you show up at my funeral either.
>
> It may be a cultural thing. In some cultures you are expected to spend a
> small fortune to honour the dead. I am with you about putting an
> expensive box in the ground. It is ridiculous, but some people feel
> obligated to spend a lot of money on a casket and service.
>
> Not to long ago I read a news item about a teenage buy who died
> tragically and the family had set up a Go Fund Me account to raise money
> for his funeral. They were aiming for $35,000. You can have someone
> cremated and buried for under $4000. You have to wonder why a family on
> welfare would expect 9 times that much.
>

you have to wonder? They have been handed everything they want for free
all their lives, so why not this?

"Ophelia" > wrote in message
...
> "Ed Pawlowski" wrote in message ...
>
> On 11/29/2017 11:18 PM, JBurns wrote:
>
>> My mother chose to have the dead spread and no funeral. She did not
>> want her money used on a funeral. I arranged to have her body cremated
>> and then we had a wake and only invited people that she loved or
>> liked.
>>
>> JB
>>
>
> Mom was smart, IMO. Cremation is smart. I don't see the value of
> putting a $3000 box in the ground, never to be seen again. If I've not
> seen you in 20 years I won't see you if you show up at my funeral either.
>
> ==
>
> Amen to that! We have all the paperwork for both of us being cremated,
> What the kids do after that is whatever they want
>
> One will definitely want a church service and the rest a wake. I am happy
> with it all.

Yep, with part of our cremated dogs ashes added. :-)

Cheri

On 11/30/2017 11:18 AM, notbob wrote:
> On 2017-11-30, Ed Pawlowski > wrote:
>
>> Cremation is smart. I don't see the value of putting a $3000 box in
>> the ground, never to be seen again.
>
> I'm not sure I see the value in "Cremation". Cost me almost $2K fer a
> lil' plastic box o' ashes. Are they really my mom? Got me! (shrug).
>
> nb
>

I see your point, but it would have been many times that for burial.
When a person dies, they should, as in life, be respected but spending a
lot of money gets no more. Funerals are really for the living. The
more extravagant are probably to make up for neglect of previous years
of life.

Dave Smith wrote:
>
> Not to long ago I read a news item about a teenage buy who died
> tragically and the family had set up a Go Fund Me account to raise money
> for his funeral. They were aiming for $35,000. You can have someone
> cremated and buried for under $4000. You have to wonder why a family on
> welfare would expect 9 times that much.

IMO, this entire funeral thing is all bullshit. Even $4000 just
to creamate a body is nonsense. These funeral ppl are just way
overcharging and playing on your emotions.

They are preying on the sad family & friends people big time!

Ever look into the process of embalming? Not for the queasy ones
here.
I would never want that done to my worthless body.

Hey...the person that you knew and loved is DEAD. Not still in
that body.
Just toss them in a hole in the ground and say goodbye.

The funeral rituals are the biggest scam ever and it only works
because the grieving ones are so sad and want the best possible
send-off. At their time of total grief, they pay whatever.

If I ever have to "off myself" (only due to final days of extreme
pain from a deadly problem), I'll take a boat out to sea, tie an
anchor around my foot, shoot myself to fall overboard. No funeral
costs for my daughters. Funerals are such a scam and a wierd
ritual that most people seem to need. Not for me. I don't need or
want a headstone in a cemetary that no one will ever visit
anyway.

BAH - HUMBUG

Bottom line.....Death sucks and God got that one wrong.

On 11/30/2017 12:45 PM, Ed Pawlowski wrote:
> Funerals are really for the living.

Mmm hmm!


https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/nitt...metherain.html

I cannot buy you happiness, I cannot by you years;
I cannot buy you happiness, in place of all the tears.
But I can buy for you a gravestone, to lay behind your head.
Gravestones cheer the living, dear, they're no use to the dead.

"Gary" > wrote in message ...
> Dave Smith wrote:
>>
>> Not to long ago I read a news item about a teenage buy who died
>> tragically and the family had set up a Go Fund Me account to raise money
>> for his funeral. They were aiming for $35,000. You can have someone
>> cremated and buried for under $4000. You have to wonder why a family on
>> welfare would expect 9 times that much.
>
> IMO, this entire funeral thing is all bullshit. Even $4000 just
> to creamate a body is nonsense. These funeral ppl are just way
> overcharging and playing on your emotions.

I've never heard of 4000 for a cremation, around here for some family
members 1200-1500 tops, but there was no inurnment at a cemetery or anything
like that which costs more.

Cheri

"ardiente casa del amor" > wrote in message
news
> On 11/30/2017 12:45 PM, Ed Pawlowski wrote:
>> Funerals are really for the living.
>
> Mmm hmm!
>
>
> https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/nitt...metherain.html
>
> I cannot buy you happiness, I cannot by you years;
> I cannot buy you happiness, in place of all the tears.
> But I can buy for you a gravestone, to lay behind your head.
> Gravestones cheer the living, dear, they're no use to the dead.


Never had a gravestone of a loved one that "cheered" me, but having a tiny
urn with some of their ashes comforts me. Everyone has their own way of
dealing.

Cheri

On 11/30/2017 1:09 PM, Cheri wrote:
> "ardiente casa del amor" > wrote in message
> news
>> On 11/30/2017 12:45 PM, Ed Pawlowski wrote:
>>> Funerals are really for the living.
>>
>> Mmm hmm!
>>
>>
>> https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/nitt...metherain.html
>>
>> I cannot buy you happiness, I cannot by you years;
>> I cannot buy you happiness, in place of all the tears.
>> But I can buy for you a gravestone, to lay behind your head.
>> Gravestones cheer the living, dear, they're no use to the dead.
>
>
> Never had a gravestone of a loved one that "cheered" me, but having a
> tiny urn with some of their ashes comforts me. Everyone has their own
> way of dealing.
>
> Cheri


Gravestones are great for kids to learn from, an urn less so.

It's whatever works of course.

On Thu, 30 Nov 2017 14:50:24 -0500, Gary > wrote:

>Dave Smith wrote:
>>
>> Not to long ago I read a news item about a teenage buy who died
>> tragically and the family had set up a Go Fund Me account to raise money
>> for his funeral. They were aiming for $35,000. You can have someone
>> cremated and buried for under $4000. You have to wonder why a family on
>> welfare would expect 9 times that much.
>
>IMO, this entire funeral thing is all bullshit. Even $4000 just
>to creamate a body is nonsense. These funeral ppl are just way
>overcharging and playing on your emotions.
>
>They are preying on the sad family & friends people big time!
>
>Ever look into the process of embalming? Not for the queasy ones
>here.
>I would never want that done to my worthless body.
>
>Hey...the person that you knew and loved is DEAD. Not still in
>that body.
>Just toss them in a hole in the ground and say goodbye.
>
>The funeral rituals are the biggest scam ever and it only works
>because the grieving ones are so sad and want the best possible
>send-off. At their time of total grief, they pay whatever.
>
>If I ever have to "off myself" (only due to final days of extreme
>pain from a deadly problem), I'll take a boat out to sea, tie an
>anchor around my foot, shoot myself to fall overboard. No funeral
>costs for my daughters. Funerals are such a scam and a wierd
>ritual that most people seem to need. Not for me. I don't need or
>want a headstone in a cemetary that no one will ever visit
>anyway.
>
>BAH - HUMBUG
>
>Bottom line.....Death sucks and God got that one wrong.

Drowning would be a horrible way to go! Just find a friend with
diabetes and beg a vial of insulin from them. You'll just go gently
into the night if you're not diabetic. I have that on good authority
from a doctor friend. Most inconsiderate thing to do, gun to head,
horrible sight.

On Thu, 30 Nov 2017 12:04:26 -0800, "Cheri" >
wrote:

>"Gary" > wrote in message ...
>> Dave Smith wrote:
>>>
>>> Not to long ago I read a news item about a teenage buy who died
>>> tragically and the family had set up a Go Fund Me account to raise money
>>> for his funeral. They were aiming for $35,000. You can have someone
>>> cremated and buried for under $4000. You have to wonder why a family on
>>> welfare would expect 9 times that much.
>>
>> IMO, this entire funeral thing is all bullshit. Even $4000 just
>> to creamate a body is nonsense. These funeral ppl are just way
>> overcharging and playing on your emotions.
>
>I've never heard of 4000 for a cremation, around here for some family
>members 1200-1500 tops, but there was no inurnment at a cemetery or anything
>like that which costs more.
>
>Cheri

It's less than a thousand here.

"Cheri" wrote in message news
"Ophelia" > wrote in message
...
> "Ed Pawlowski" wrote in message ...
>
> On 11/29/2017 11:18 PM, JBurns wrote:
>
>> My mother chose to have the dead spread and no funeral. She did not
>> want her money used on a funeral. I arranged to have her body cremated
>> and then we had a wake and only invited people that she loved or
>> liked.
>>
>> JB
>>
>
> Mom was smart, IMO. Cremation is smart. I don't see the value of
> putting a $3000 box in the ground, never to be seen again. If I've not
> seen you in 20 years I won't see you if you show up at my funeral either.
>
> ==
>
> Amen to that! We have all the paperwork for both of us being cremated,
> What the kids do after that is whatever they want
>
> One will definitely want a church service and the rest a wake. I am happy
> with it all.

Yep, with part of our cremated dogs ashes added. :-)

Cheri

==

Oh YES! Of course! They all know The dogs ashes are in their own boxes
on the fireplace

--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk

> wrote in message
...
> On Thu, 30 Nov 2017 14:50:24 -0500, Gary > wrote:
>
>>Dave Smith wrote:
>>>
>>> Not to long ago I read a news item about a teenage buy who died
>>> tragically and the family had set up a Go Fund Me account to raise money
>>> for his funeral. They were aiming for $35,000. You can have someone
>>> cremated and buried for under $4000. You have to wonder why a family on
>>> welfare would expect 9 times that much.
>>
>>IMO, this entire funeral thing is all bullshit. Even $4000 just
>>to creamate a body is nonsense. These funeral ppl are just way
>>overcharging and playing on your emotions.
>>
>>They are preying on the sad family & friends people big time!
>>
>>Ever look into the process of embalming? Not for the queasy ones
>>here.
>>I would never want that done to my worthless body.
>>
>>Hey...the person that you knew and loved is DEAD. Not still in
>>that body.
>>Just toss them in a hole in the ground and say goodbye.
>>
>>The funeral rituals are the biggest scam ever and it only works
>>because the grieving ones are so sad and want the best possible
>>send-off. At their time of total grief, they pay whatever.
>>
>>If I ever have to "off myself" (only due to final days of extreme
>>pain from a deadly problem), I'll take a boat out to sea, tie an
>>anchor around my foot, shoot myself to fall overboard. No funeral
>>costs for my daughters. Funerals are such a scam and a wierd
>>ritual that most people seem to need. Not for me. I don't need or
>>want a headstone in a cemetary that no one will ever visit
>>anyway.
>>
>>BAH - HUMBUG
>>
>>Bottom line.....Death sucks and God got that one wrong.
>
> Drowning would be a horrible way to go! Just find a friend with
> diabetes and beg a vial of insulin from them. You'll just go gently
> into the night if you're not diabetic. I have that on good authority
> from a doctor friend. Most inconsiderate thing to do, gun to head,
> horrible sight.


Shooting himself in the head on his way overboard gets rid of the drowning
factor, also gets rid of the gun, and by the time the fish get done with
him, there won't be a horrible sight to see.

Cheri

"ardiente casa del amor" > wrote in message
news
> On 11/30/2017 1:09 PM, Cheri wrote:
>> "ardiente casa del amor" > wrote in message
>> news
>>> On 11/30/2017 12:45 PM, Ed Pawlowski wrote:
>>>> Funerals are really for the living.
>>>
>>> Mmm hmm!
>>>
>>>
>>> https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/nitt...metherain.html
>>>
>>> I cannot buy you happiness, I cannot by you years;
>>> I cannot buy you happiness, in place of all the tears.
>>> But I can buy for you a gravestone, to lay behind your head.
>>> Gravestones cheer the living, dear, they're no use to the dead.
>>
>>
>> Never had a gravestone of a loved one that "cheered" me, but having a
>> tiny urn with some of their ashes comforts me. Everyone has their own way
>> of dealing.
>>
>> Cheri
>
>
> Gravestones are great for kids to learn from, an urn less so.
>
> It's whatever works of course.


Why would a gravestone be any different than an urn? The information is the
same on the urn as it would be on the gravestone and I'm not interested in
having looky-loos tromping over my loved ones at any rate.

Cheri

On 11/30/2017 2:12 PM, Cheri wrote:
> "ardiente casa del amor" > wrote in message
> news
>> On 11/30/2017 1:09 PM, Cheri wrote:
>>> "ardiente casa del amor" > wrote in message
>>> news >>>> On 11/30/2017 12:45 PM, Ed Pawlowski wrote:
>>>>> Funerals are really for the living.
>>>>
>>>> Mmm hmm!
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/nitt...metherain.html
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> I cannot buy you happiness, I cannot by you years;
>>>> I cannot buy you happiness, in place of all the tears.
>>>> But I can buy for you a gravestone, to lay behind your head.
>>>> Gravestones cheer the living, dear, they're no use to the dead.
>>>
>>>
>>> Never had a gravestone of a loved one that "cheered" me, but having a
>>> tiny urn with some of their ashes comforts me. Everyone has their own
>>> way of dealing.
>>>
>>> Cheri
>>
>>
>> Gravestones are great for kids to learn from, an urn less so.
>>
>> It's whatever works of course.
>
>
> Why would a gravestone be any different than an urn?

A natural setting in the grass and trees puts little ones at ease.

They see all the company around and get what mortality means in numbers.


> The information is
> the same on the urn as it would be on the gravestone and I'm not
> interested in having looky-loos tromping over my loved ones at any rate.
>
> Cheri

It's more than that.

A cemetery has sculptures, mausoleums, all manner of elaborate or
succinct epitaphs, things kids can stop and ponder over.

One of my favorite places to visit when I was a sprout.

Heh, no jokes about early morbidity...

;-)

Cheri wrote:
>
> > wrote in message
> ...
> > On Thu, 30 Nov 2017 14:50:24 -0500, Gary > wrote:
> >
> >>Dave Smith wrote:
> >>>
> >>> Not to long ago I read a news item about a teenage buy who died
> >>> tragically and the family had set up a Go Fund Me account to raise money
> >>> for his funeral. They were aiming for $35,000. You can have someone
> >>> cremated and buried for under $4000. You have to wonder why a family on
> >>> welfare would expect 9 times that much.
> >>
> >>IMO, this entire funeral thing is all bullshit. Even $4000 just
> >>to creamate a body is nonsense. These funeral ppl are just way
> >>overcharging and playing on your emotions.
> >>
> >>They are preying on the sad family & friends people big time!
> >>
> >>Ever look into the process of embalming? Not for the queasy ones
> >>here.
> >>I would never want that done to my worthless body.
> >>
> >>Hey...the person that you knew and loved is DEAD. Not still in
> >>that body.
> >>Just toss them in a hole in the ground and say goodbye.
> >>
> >>The funeral rituals are the biggest scam ever and it only works
> >>because the grieving ones are so sad and want the best possible
> >>send-off. At their time of total grief, they pay whatever.
> >>
> >>If I ever have to "off myself" (only due to final days of extreme
> >>pain from a deadly problem), I'll take a boat out to sea, tie an
> >>anchor around my foot, shoot myself to fall overboard. No funeral
> >>costs for my daughters. Funerals are such a scam and a wierd
> >>ritual that most people seem to need. Not for me. I don't need or
> >>want a headstone in a cemetary that no one will ever visit
> >>anyway.
> >>
> >>BAH - HUMBUG
> >>
> >>Bottom line.....Death sucks and God got that one wrong.
> >
> > Drowning would be a horrible way to go! Just find a friend with
> > diabetes and beg a vial of insulin from them. You'll just go gently
> > into the night if you're not diabetic. I have that on good authority
> > from a doctor friend. Most inconsiderate thing to do, gun to head,
> > horrible sight.
>
> Shooting himself in the head on his way overboard gets rid of the drowning
> factor, also gets rid of the gun, and by the time the fish get done with
> him, there won't be a horrible sight to see.
>
> Cheri

Thank you, Cheri, that was the plan.
Never know what you will do though until the
time comes to actually do something.

No final costs to family.
Gary....lost at sea and presumed dead. :-)

PS- enjoy your crab meal a few weeks later.
Bill: these crabs taste just like chicken
Bob: No, kinda tastes like a Gary or something to me.

On 11/30/2017 3:12 PM, ardiente casa del amor wrote:
> On 11/30/2017 1:09 PM, Cheri wrote:
>> "ardiente casa del amor" > wrote in message
>> news
>>> On 11/30/2017 12:45 PM, Ed Pawlowski wrote:
>>>> Funerals are really for the living.
>>>
>>> Mmm hmm!
>>>
>>>
>>> https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/nitt...metherain.html
>>>
>>> I cannot buy you happiness, I cannot by you years;
>>> I cannot buy you happiness, in place of all the tears.
>>> But I can buy for you a gravestone, to lay behind your head.
>>> Gravestones cheer the living, dear, they're no use to the dead.
>>
>>
>> Never had a gravestone of a loved one that "cheered" me, but having a
>> tiny urn with some of their ashes comforts me. Everyone has their own
>> way of dealing.
>>
>> Cheri
>
>
> Gravestones are great for kids to learn from, an urn less so.
>
> It's whatever works of course.

I guess you can use it for family history, but not so easy for every
family. The nearest family graves are 250 miles, the furthest, 3000
miles. It will be worse in the future as my closest family is in five
other states around the country. Ashes are portable. They can bring
back memories too.

On 11/30/2017 4:26 PM, Ed Pawlowski wrote:
> On 11/30/2017 3:12 PM, ardiente casa del amor wrote:
>> On 11/30/2017 1:09 PM, Cheri wrote:
>>> "ardiente casa del amor" > wrote in message
>>> news >>>> On 11/30/2017 12:45 PM, Ed Pawlowski wrote:
>>>>> Funerals are really for the living.
>>>>
>>>> Mmm hmm!
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/nitt...metherain.html
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> I cannot buy you happiness, I cannot by you years;
>>>> I cannot buy you happiness, in place of all the tears.
>>>> But I can buy for you a gravestone, to lay behind your head.
>>>> Gravestones cheer the living, dear, they're no use to the dead.
>>>
>>>
>>> Never had a gravestone of a loved one that "cheered" me, but having a
>>> tiny urn with some of their ashes comforts me. Everyone has their own
>>> way of dealing.
>>>
>>> Cheri
>>
>>
>> Gravestones are great for kids to learn from, an urn less so.
>>
>> It's whatever works of course.
>
> I guess you can use it for family history, but not so easy for every
> family.* The nearest family graves are 250 miles, the furthest, 3000
> miles. It will be worse in the future as my closest family is in five
> other states around the country.** Ashes are portable.* They can bring
> back memories too.

I can't see a kid getting tangible history from an urn, as opposed to a
physical resting place.

Call me old school.

Also cremate me so no more land is wasted.

This has been an intellectual exercise.

Save graveyards for our veterans who deserve to be honored forever.

On 11/29/2017 11:18 PM, JBurns wrote:

> My mother chose to have the dead spread and no funeral. She did not
> want her money used on a funeral. I arranged to have her body cremated
> and then we had a wake and only invited people that she loved or
> liked.

My mother wanted No wake/funeral/memorial service, just cremation
and buried with my dad. I convinced her my brothers would want
a memorial service and she agreed, Family Only.

Too bad my sil is a frustrated wedding planner who invited
everyone she ran into but the service turned out nice anyway.
I think my mother would have approved.

nancy

On 2017-11-30 4:26 PM, Ed Pawlowski wrote:
> On 11/30/2017 3:12 PM, ardiente casa del amor wrote:
>> On 11/30/2017 1:09 PM, Cheri wrote:
>>> "ardiente casa del amor" > wrote in message
>>> news >>>> On 11/30/2017 12:45 PM, Ed Pawlowski wrote:
>>>>> Funerals are really for the living.
>>>>
>>>> Mmm hmm!
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/nitt...metherain.html
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> I cannot buy you happiness, I cannot by you years;
>>>> I cannot buy you happiness, in place of all the tears.
>>>> But I can buy for you a gravestone, to lay behind your head.
>>>> Gravestones cheer the living, dear, they're no use to the dead.
>>>
>>>
>>> Never had a gravestone of a loved one that "cheered" me, but having a
>>> tiny urn with some of their ashes comforts me. Everyone has their own
>>> way of dealing.
>>>
>>> Cheri
>>
>>
>> Gravestones are great for kids to learn from, an urn less so.
>>
>> It's whatever works of course.
>
> I guess you can use it for family history, but not so easy for every
> family.* The nearest family graves are 250 miles, the furthest, 3000
> miles. It will be worse in the future as my closest family is in five
> other states around the country.** Ashes are portable.* They can bring
> back memories too.
And can be added to your breakfast cereal! :-)

On 11/30/2017 3:22 PM, wrote:
> On Thu, 30 Nov 2017 14:50:24 -0500, Gary > wrote:
>
>> Dave Smith wrote:
>>>
>>> Not to long ago I read a news item about a teenage buy who died
>>> tragically and the family had set up a Go Fund Me account to raise money
>>> for his funeral. They were aiming for $35,000. You can have someone
>>> cremated and buried for under $4000. You have to wonder why a family on
>>> welfare would expect 9 times that much.
>>
>> IMO, this entire funeral thing is all bullshit. Even $4000 just
>> to creamate a body is nonsense. These funeral ppl are just way
>> overcharging and playing on your emotions.
>>
>> They are preying on the sad family & friends people big time!
>>
>> Ever look into the process of embalming? Not for the queasy ones
>> here.
>> I would never want that done to my worthless body.
>>
>> Hey...the person that you knew and loved is DEAD. Not still in
>> that body.
>> Just toss them in a hole in the ground and say goodbye.
>>
>> The funeral rituals are the biggest scam ever and it only works
>> because the grieving ones are so sad and want the best possible
>> send-off. At their time of total grief, they pay whatever.
>>
>> If I ever have to "off myself" (only due to final days of extreme
>> pain from a deadly problem), I'll take a boat out to sea, tie an
>> anchor around my foot, shoot myself to fall overboard. No funeral
>> costs for my daughters. Funerals are such a scam and a wierd
>> ritual that most people seem to need. Not for me. I don't need or
>> want a headstone in a cemetary that no one will ever visit
>> anyway.
>>
>> BAH - HUMBUG
>>
>> Bottom line.....Death sucks and God got that one wrong.
>
> Drowning would be a horrible way to go! Just find a friend with
> diabetes and beg a vial of insulin from them. You'll just go gently
> into the night if you're not diabetic. I have that on good authority
> from a doctor friend. Most inconsiderate thing to do, gun to head,
> horrible sight.
>
I agree the most inconsiderate thing to do is a gun to the head. He's
now clarified it so he'll be on a boat and hopes to fall overboard. As
if that would make it easier on the loved ones.

My SO's father committed suicide using a pistol. He had to go clean up
the brains and blood spatter off the walls. It was horrific. A gunshot
to the head is not a memory to leave to anyone.

Jill

On 11/30/2017 4:07 PM, Cheri wrote:
> > wrote in message
> ...
>> On Thu, 30 Nov 2017 14:50:24 -0500, Gary > wrote:
>>
>>> Dave Smith wrote:
>>>>
>>>> Not to long ago I read a news item about a teenage buy who died
>>>> tragically and the family had set up a Go Fund Me account to raise
>>>> money
>>>> for his funeral. They were aiming for $35,000.* You can have someone
>>>> cremated and buried for under $4000. You have to wonder why a family on
>>>> welfare would expect 9 times that much.
>>>
>>> IMO, this entire funeral thing is all bullshit. Even $4000 just
>>> to creamate a body is nonsense. These funeral ppl are just way
>>> overcharging and playing on your emotions.
>>>
>>> They are preying on the sad family & friends people big time!
>>>
>>> Ever look into the process of embalming? Not for the queasy ones
>>> here.
>>> I would never want that done to my worthless body.
>>>
>>> Hey...the person that you knew and loved is DEAD. Not still in
>>> that body.
>>> Just toss them in a hole in the ground and say goodbye.
>>>
>>> The funeral rituals are the biggest scam ever and it only works
>>> because the grieving ones are so sad and want the best possible
>>> send-off. At their time of total grief, they pay whatever.
>>>
>>> If I ever have to "off myself" (only due to final days of extreme
>>> pain from a deadly problem), I'll take a boat out to sea, tie an
>>> anchor around my foot, shoot myself to fall overboard. No funeral
>>> costs for my daughters.* Funerals are such a scam and a wierd
>>> ritual that most people seem to need. Not for me. I don't need or
>>> want a headstone in a cemetary that no one will ever visit
>>> anyway.
>>>
>>> BAH - HUMBUG
>>>
>>> Bottom line.....Death sucks and God got that one wrong.
>>
>> Drowning would be a horrible way to go!* Just find a friend with
>> diabetes and beg a vial of insulin from them.* You'll just go gently
>> into the night if you're not diabetic.** I have that on good authority
>> from a doctor friend.** Most inconsiderate thing to do, gun to head,
>> horrible sight.
>
>
> Shooting himself in the head on his way overboard gets rid of the
> drowning factor, also gets rid of the gun, and by the time the fish get
> done with him, there won't be a horrible sight to see.
>
> Cheri

Well... someone's going to report him missing. Would he rather have
them have to identify his fish-nibbled corpse? With a bullet hole in
his head? His body will be found eventually. BTW, where's he going to
get the boat?

Jill