"Janet" > wrote in message
t...
> In article >, says...
>>
>> "Gary" > wrote in message
>> ...
>> > wrote:
>> >>
>> >> I detest deviled eggs, I think they are an abomination, the very worst
>> >> of all possible ways to serve eggs.
>> >
>> > You've just never had a good deviled egg, imo.
>> >
>> >> At Upstate NY funerals the church
>> >> ladies put out deviled eggs and cheap bologna on cheap white with
>> >> yallow mustard... and buckets of beer. Not long before the VFW hall
>> >> is cleared out by tear gas farting.
>> >
>> > I've never seen a "party with food and booze" as part
>> > (afterwards) of a funeral. You go to the funeral, pay your
>> > respects then go home. What's with all the carnival stuff
>> > afterwards? I don't get it.
>>
>> I've never been to a funeral where they didn't have a gathering
>> afterwards
>> with food and drink.
>
> Me neither.
>
> At funerals here, hospitality is offered because attendees might have
> come hundreds of miles for the service (or flown in from another
> country). They may not have seen relatives and old friends for decades,
> and it's comforting for the bereaved to share happy memories of the
> deceased. In my family the post-funeral gathering is open house at home
> and the food is always home made, but many people arrange one to be held
> and catered in a hired private room at a hotel or pub.
>
> Janet UK

Yes, that's always the way it is where I am too.

Cheri

"Ophelia" > wrote in message
...
>
>
> "U.S. Janet B." wrote in message
> ...
>
> On Mon, 18 Jun 2018 12:56:15 -0400, jmcquown >
> wrote:
>
>>On 6/18/2018 10:58 AM, Gary wrote:
>>> Cindy Hamilton wrote:
>>>>
>>>> now that his father is gone he won't have any reason to go to his
>>>> remaining brothers' funerals.
>>>
>>> I don't do funerals.
>>
>>I went to high school with a girlfriend who was killed in a car accident
>>a few months after graduation. She was driving home from work one night
>>and was hit head on by a drunk driver. My mother thought I should
>>attend the funeral.
>>
>>I was 17 years old. It was so... disturbing. We were told it was
>>closed casket because (along with a lot of other organs) they'd donated
>>her *eyes* to science. I don't think anyone (much less teenagers)
>>really need to know these details.
>>
>>I don't really understand why anyone should be asked to view dead
>>people, either. If you're going to have a casket at least have the
>>courtesy of closing the lid. Really don't want to see that.
>>
>>The friend who died had a younger sister (Ginger was 18, Connie was 15).
>> I went to school with and knew both of them. Connie hugged me as I
>>entered the chapel and there was an overwhelming scent of gardenia
>>perfume. Influence of a grandmother, no doubt. She'd been crying. I
>>had NO idea what to say. I'm sorry. I really was, but I was extremely
>>uncomfortable. I do not know what to say to someone in these
>>situations. It's not that I'm unsympathetic. It's just, I was 17 years
>>old. Sorry for your loss is about it.
>>
>>I did make a vow to myself after that funeral. I will never attend
>>another funeral except those of my mother and father. I still hold to
>>that today. I don't do funerals.
>>
>>Jill
>>
>> The whole rituals are odd to me. Some people
>>> probably think I don't care but that's not true. I grieve a
>>> person's death in my own way and I don't care what others may
>>> think. Whenever I grieve anything, I prefer to be totally alone.
>>> I don't have a need to share with others.
>>>
>>> My grandmother died years ago. She was creamated then put in a
>>> closet for 6 months until it was convenient for all the relatives
>>> to have a funeral/family reunion. My brother was shocked that I
>>> wasn't going to drive 250 miles for that nonsense. "I thought you
>>> loved Gramma." "Yes I did love Gramma, brother, and I grieved
>>> her death 6 months ago. Now that it's convenient for the rest of
>>> the family, I'm not playing that." She's long gone now....go have
>>> your little family reunion. I'm not going.
>>>
>
> I started going to funerals as a small child because uncles and aunts,
> grandmother and grandfather died. I didn't have a problem with the
> open casket and the body. But to this day I cannot stand the smell of
> a flower shop.
> There are just some things you do in life. I personally don't like
> visiting dying people in the hospital but I realize that it isn't for
> me.
> Janet US
>
> ===
>
> Yes! That smell has always stayed with me. To me that smell is of death!

Especially those Christmas type lillies, the red and white striped ones,
they just about gag me. The smell of death for sure.

Cheri

"Cheri" wrote in message news
"Ophelia" > wrote in message
...
>
>
> "U.S. Janet B." wrote in message
> ...
>
> On Mon, 18 Jun 2018 12:56:15 -0400, jmcquown >
> wrote:
>
>>On 6/18/2018 10:58 AM, Gary wrote:
>>> Cindy Hamilton wrote:
>>>>
>>>> now that his father is gone he won't have any reason to go to his
>>>> remaining brothers' funerals.
>>>
>>> I don't do funerals.
>>
>>I went to high school with a girlfriend who was killed in a car accident
>>a few months after graduation. She was driving home from work one night
>>and was hit head on by a drunk driver. My mother thought I should
>>attend the funeral.
>>
>>I was 17 years old. It was so... disturbing. We were told it was
>>closed casket because (along with a lot of other organs) they'd donated
>>her *eyes* to science. I don't think anyone (much less teenagers)
>>really need to know these details.
>>
>>I don't really understand why anyone should be asked to view dead
>>people, either. If you're going to have a casket at least have the
>>courtesy of closing the lid. Really don't want to see that.
>>
>>The friend who died had a younger sister (Ginger was 18, Connie was 15).
>> I went to school with and knew both of them. Connie hugged me as I
>>entered the chapel and there was an overwhelming scent of gardenia
>>perfume. Influence of a grandmother, no doubt. She'd been crying. I
>>had NO idea what to say. I'm sorry. I really was, but I was extremely
>>uncomfortable. I do not know what to say to someone in these
>>situations. It's not that I'm unsympathetic. It's just, I was 17 years
>>old. Sorry for your loss is about it.
>>
>>I did make a vow to myself after that funeral. I will never attend
>>another funeral except those of my mother and father. I still hold to
>>that today. I don't do funerals.
>>
>>Jill
>>
>> The whole rituals are odd to me. Some people
>>> probably think I don't care but that's not true. I grieve a
>>> person's death in my own way and I don't care what others may
>>> think. Whenever I grieve anything, I prefer to be totally alone.
>>> I don't have a need to share with others.
>>>
>>> My grandmother died years ago. She was creamated then put in a
>>> closet for 6 months until it was convenient for all the relatives
>>> to have a funeral/family reunion. My brother was shocked that I
>>> wasn't going to drive 250 miles for that nonsense. "I thought you
>>> loved Gramma." "Yes I did love Gramma, brother, and I grieved
>>> her death 6 months ago. Now that it's convenient for the rest of
>>> the family, I'm not playing that." She's long gone now....go have
>>> your little family reunion. I'm not going.
>>>
>
> I started going to funerals as a small child because uncles and aunts,
> grandmother and grandfather died. I didn't have a problem with the
> open casket and the body. But to this day I cannot stand the smell of
> a flower shop.
> There are just some things you do in life. I personally don't like
> visiting dying people in the hospital but I realize that it isn't for
> me.
> Janet US
>
> ===
>
> Yes! That smell has always stayed with me. To me that smell is of death!

Especially those Christmas type lillies, the red and white striped ones,
they just about gag me. The smell of death for sure.

Cheri

==

Perhaps it was those. I don't know. I just know that very occasionally, I
get a whiff of it.

"dsi1" wrote in message
...

On Monday, June 18, 2018 at 9:39:49 AM UTC-10, Ophelia wrote:
>
> When I was about 5 yo, my aunt died and I was taken in to see her. In
> those
> days, the body was in its coffin in the front room, surrounded by flowers
> and candles.

That sounds like a rather creepy childhood memory. Sorry you had to go
through that.

==

That was the first time. I saw my Grandmother and Grandfather too. It is
what happened in those days.

I have never forgotten that smell. Someone mention it was the smell of a
flower shop, but to me it is the smell of death.

We intend to have no funerals. Just immediate cremation. Let people
remember us as we were.

On Monday, June 18, 2018 at 8:37:16 PM UTC-10, Ophelia wrote:
> ==
>
> That was the first time. I saw my Grandmother and Grandfather too. It is
> what happened in those days.
>
> I have never forgotten that smell. Someone mention it was the smell of a
> flower shop, but to me it is the smell of death.
>
> We intend to have no funerals. Just immediate cremation. Let people
> remember us as we were.

That's not much of a custom over here, which is a good thing. I sure don't want people that I know gawking of my cold, lifeless, body.

Your sense of smell is quite a powerful, direct, stimulus to your brain and is the one that can open a floodgate of memories. The smell of death not something you'd want to smell too often. Hopefully, these days, you're filling up your days with happier memories. I'm trying to do that myself.

"dsi1" wrote in message
...

On Monday, June 18, 2018 at 8:37:16 PM UTC-10, Ophelia wrote:
> ==
>
> That was the first time. I saw my Grandmother and Grandfather too. It is
> what happened in those days.
>
> I have never forgotten that smell. Someone mention it was the smell of a
> flower shop, but to me it is the smell of death.
>
> We intend to have no funerals. Just immediate cremation. Let people
> remember us as we were.

That's not much of a custom over here, which is a good thing. I sure don't
want people that I know gawking of my cold, lifeless, body.

Your sense of smell is quite a powerful, direct, stimulus to your brain and
is the one that can open a floodgate of memories. The smell of death not
something you'd want to smell too often. Hopefully, these days, you're
filling up your days with happier memories. I'm trying to do that myself.

==

Yes I am) I hope yours are all filled with those lovely memories too)

I very much doubt they take children in to see such things these days. At
least I haven't heard of it. I certainly didn't put my own children through
that.

If my children or grands want to have some kind of service etc. they will be
most welcome, but there will be no body lying there in the middle of it!

On Monday, June 18, 2018 at 6:27:55 PM UTC-4, dsi1 wrote:
> On Monday, June 18, 2018 at 4:58:03 AM UTC-10, Gary wrote:
> >
> > I don't do funerals. The whole rituals are odd to me. Some people
> > probably think I don't care but that's not true. I grieve a
> > person's death in my own way and I don't care what others may
> > think. Whenever I grieve anything, I prefer to be totally alone.
> > I don't have a need to share with others.
> >
> > My grandmother died years ago. She was creamated then put in a
> > closet for 6 months until it was convenient for all the relatives
> > to have a funeral/family reunion. My brother was shocked that I
> > wasn't going to drive 250 miles for that nonsense. "I thought you
> > loved Gramma." "Yes I did love Gramma, brother, and I grieved
> > her death 6 months ago. Now that it's convenient for the rest of
> > the family, I'm not playing that." She's long gone now....go have
> > your little family reunion. I'm not going.
>
> Funerals are to show respect for the family and the dead guy. It reaffirms that the deceased was a valued member of the community. OTOH, driving 250 miles to see my dead granny might give me pause. On this tiny rock, anything over 12 miles is kinda far.

How about traveling to the next island over? That might be a better analogy.

Cindy Hamilton

On Monday, June 18, 2018 at 8:31:46 PM UTC-4, Wayne Boatwright wrote:
> On Mon 18 Jun 2018 10:40:24a, Ed Pawlowski told us...
>
> > On 6/18/2018 12:56 PM, jmcquown wrote:
> >
> >>
> >> I don't really understand why anyone should be asked to view dead
> >> people, either.Â* If you're going to have a casket at least have
> >> the courtesy of closing the lid.Â* Really don't want to see that.
> >>
> >> The friend who died had a younger sister (Ginger was 18, Connie
> >> was 15).
> >> Â*I went to school with and knew both of them.Â* Connie hugged
> >> me as I
> >> entered the chapel and there was an overwhelming scent of
> >> gardenia perfume.Â* Influence of a grandmother, no doubt.Â* She'd
> >> been crying.Â* I had NO idea what to say.Â* I'm sorry.Â* I really
> >> was, but I was extremely uncomfortable.Â* I do not know what to
> >> say to someone in these situations.Â* It's not that I'm
> >> unsympathetic.Â* It's just, I was 17 years old.Â* Sorry for your
> >> loss is about it.
> >
> > My first funerals were at a much younger age. By the time I was
> > 15 I was a pallbearer too. While I consider it to be an honoer to
> > be asked, there are better ways.
> >
> > We do, as a society, have some strange rituals. Not only do we
> > view the body of loved ones, often it is a person we never saw
> > before, a grandparent of a close friend, etc. You are really
> > giving support to that person by being there.
> >
> > I've said it before, no funerals for us. Cremation and gone,
> > simple and quick. Spend time with that person now when they can
> > appreciate your company.
> >
>
> In recent years I've been to only a few funerals and those were where
> the person had already been created and the urn of cremanes were
> placed where a casket would have been. It's been a long time since
> I've seen anyone in a casket, either at a viewing or at the funeral.

Lucky you. In the last 10-12 years, I've been to five funerals. Three
of them (brother-in-law, mother-in-law, father-in-law) had viewings.

Cindy Hamilton

Cindy Hamilton wrote:
>
> > Funerals are to show respect for the family and the dead guy. It reaffirms that the deceased was a valued member of the community. OTOH, driving 250 miles to see my dead granny might give me pause. On this tiny rock, anything over 12 miles is kinda far.
>
> How about traveling to the next island over? That might be a better analogy.

I'm such a spoiled beach guy now, anything more than 2 miles from
the oceanfront is long distance to me these days. Not kidding.

In any case, I would not travel approx. 250 miles (Virginia Beach
- Baltimore) for my gramma's funeral 6 months after she died. I
grieved WHEN she first died. No interest in a family get together
later on.

Even my own father (her son) didn't bother to go to that. Silly
rituals. If it made the others feel good to go, power to them.
Again...we all grieve in different ways. All of my now-dead
family and friends still live on in my memories. Gone but not
forgotten.

On Tuesday, June 19, 2018 at 7:49:54 AM UTC-4, Gary wrote:
> Cindy Hamilton wrote:
> >
> > > Funerals are to show respect for the family and the dead guy. It reaffirms that the deceased was a valued member of the community. OTOH, driving 250 miles to see my dead granny might give me pause. On this tiny rock, anything over 12 miles is kinda far.
> >
> > How about traveling to the next island over? That might be a better analogy.
>
> I'm such a spoiled beach guy now, anything more than 2 miles from
> the oceanfront is long distance to me these days. Not kidding.
>
> In any case, I would not travel approx. 250 miles (Virginia Beach
> - Baltimore) for my gramma's funeral 6 months after she died. I
> grieved WHEN she first died. No interest in a family get together
> later on.
>
> Even my own father (her son) didn't bother to go to that. Silly
> rituals. If it made the others feel good to go, power to them.
> Again...we all grieve in different ways. All of my now-dead
> family and friends still live on in my memories. Gone but not
> forgotten.

We drove about that far for funerals for some of my husband's family.
Three of them were a few days after death; one was a couple of months.
With a little luck, I've attended my last funeral.

Cindy Hamilton

Cindy Hamilton wrote:
>
> On Tuesday, June 19, 2018 at 7:49:54 AM UTC-4, Gary wrote:
> > Cindy Hamilton wrote:
> > >
> > > > Funerals are to show respect for the family and the dead guy. It reaffirms that the deceased was a valued member of the community. OTOH, driving 250 miles to see my dead granny might give me pause. On this tiny rock, anything over 12 miles is kinda far.
> > >
> > > How about traveling to the next island over? That might be a better analogy.
> >
> > I'm such a spoiled beach guy now, anything more than 2 miles from
> > the oceanfront is long distance to me these days. Not kidding.
> >
> > In any case, I would not travel approx. 250 miles (Virginia Beach
> > - Baltimore) for my gramma's funeral 6 months after she died. I
> > grieved WHEN she first died. No interest in a family get together
> > later on.
> >
> > Even my own father (her son) didn't bother to go to that. Silly
> > rituals. If it made the others feel good to go, power to them.
> > Again...we all grieve in different ways. All of my now-dead
> > family and friends still live on in my memories. Gone but not
> > forgotten.
>
> We drove about that far for funerals for some of my husband's family.
> Three of them were a few days after death; one was a couple of months.
> With a little luck, I've attended my last funeral.

Just be brave like me and quit going. All the others will be mad
and think you just didn't care about the person...Screw them and
their gossipy opinions. It's their ritual, not mine.

"Gary" > wrote in message ...

> Just be brave like me and quit going. All the others will be mad
> and think you just didn't care about the person...Screw them and
> their gossipy opinions. It's their ritual, not mine.


Brave? Really? Could be that you're just lazy and self-centered in your old
age, it happens. LOL

Cheri

Cheri wrote:
>
> "Gary" > wrote in message ...
>
> > Just be brave like me and quit going. All the others will be mad
> > and think you just didn't care about the person...Screw them and
> > their gossipy opinions. It's their ritual, not mine.
>
> Brave? Really? Could be that you're just lazy and self-centered in your old
> age, it happens. LOL

No Cheri. I don't believe in the creepy funeral rituals. Never
have. Each to their own, right? No need to call me lazy just
because you don't agree.

On Tuesday, June 19, 2018 at 9:14:07 AM UTC-4, Gary wrote:
> Cindy Hamilton wrote:
> >
> > On Tuesday, June 19, 2018 at 7:49:54 AM UTC-4, Gary wrote:
> > > Cindy Hamilton wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Funerals are to show respect for the family and the dead guy. It reaffirms that the deceased was a valued member of the community. OTOH, driving 250 miles to see my dead granny might give me pause. On this tiny rock, anything over 12 miles is kinda far.
> > > >
> > > > How about traveling to the next island over? That might be a better analogy.
> > >
> > > I'm such a spoiled beach guy now, anything more than 2 miles from
> > > the oceanfront is long distance to me these days. Not kidding.
> > >
> > > In any case, I would not travel approx. 250 miles (Virginia Beach
> > > - Baltimore) for my gramma's funeral 6 months after she died. I
> > > grieved WHEN she first died. No interest in a family get together
> > > later on.
> > >
> > > Even my own father (her son) didn't bother to go to that. Silly
> > > rituals. If it made the others feel good to go, power to them.
> > > Again...we all grieve in different ways. All of my now-dead
> > > family and friends still live on in my memories. Gone but not
> > > forgotten.
> >
> > We drove about that far for funerals for some of my husband's family.
> > Three of them were a few days after death; one was a couple of months.
> > With a little luck, I've attended my last funeral.
>
> Just be brave like me and quit going. All the others will be mad
> and think you just didn't care about the person...Screw them and
> their gossipy opinions. It's their ritual, not mine.

It's not about being brave.

While my father-in-law was alive, we went to funerals on that side
because to skip them would have upset him. No point doing that when
it was so easy to make him happy. (Or, as happy as a guy can be at
his wife's or son's funeral.)

Cindy Hamilton

"Gary" > wrote in message ...
> Cheri wrote:
>>
>> "Gary" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>
>> > Just be brave like me and quit going. All the others will be mad
>> > and think you just didn't care about the person...Screw them and
>> > their gossipy opinions. It's their ritual, not mine.
>>
>> Brave? Really? Could be that you're just lazy and self-centered in your
>> old
>> age, it happens. LOL
>
> No Cheri. I don't believe in the creepy funeral rituals. Never
> have. Each to their own, right? No need to call me lazy just
> because you don't agree.


I was joking Gary, can't you take a joke, are you humor impaired? :-D

Cheri

On 2018-06-19 9:14 AM, Gary wrote:
> Cindy Hamilton wrote:

>> We drove about that far for funerals for some of my husband's family.
>> Three of them were a few days after death; one was a couple of months.
>> With a little luck, I've attended my last funeral.
>
> Just be brave like me and quit going. All the others will be mad
> and think you just didn't care about the person...Screw them and
> their gossipy opinions. It's their ritual, not mine.



That's fine. Just be aware that they may not be there for you.
If you aren't there to share their grief and offer support in their
time of need you can't expect them to be there when you need it. You can
also forget about being invited to weddings, birthdays and other
celebrations.

On Monday, June 18, 2018 at 10:08:34 PM UTC-10, Ophelia wrote:
>
> Yes I am) I hope yours are all filled with those lovely memories too)
>
> I very much doubt they take children in to see such things these days. At
> least I haven't heard of it. I certainly didn't put my own children through
> that.
>
> If my children or grands want to have some kind of service etc. they will be
> most welcome, but there will be no body lying there in the middle of it!

We never felt much need to take the kids to funerals. They tend to be boring affairs anyway. When I was a kid I just hated Buddhist funerals. The priest would sit and chant sutras that seemed to go on forever.

On Tuesday, June 19, 2018 at 12:35:17 AM UTC-10, Cindy Hamilton wrote:
>
> How about traveling to the next island over? That might be a better analogy.
>
> Cindy Hamilton

We went to the other island for my aunts birthday party. When she died, her funeral was held here. I used to try to make it to my client's funerals. Luckily, they tended to be within 12 miles from here.

"dsi1" > wrote in message
...
> On Monday, June 18, 2018 at 10:08:34 PM UTC-10, Ophelia wrote:
>>
>> Yes I am) I hope yours are all filled with those lovely memories
>> too)
>>
>> I very much doubt they take children in to see such things these days.
>> At
>> least I haven't heard of it. I certainly didn't put my own children
>> through
>> that.
>>
>> If my children or grands want to have some kind of service etc. they will
>> be
>> most welcome, but there will be no body lying there in the middle of it!
>
> We never felt much need to take the kids to funerals. They tend to be
> boring affairs anyway. When I was a kid I just hated Buddhist funerals.
> The priest would sit and chant sutras that seemed to go on forever.

===

The Catholic funerals can be long too.

Cheri

On Tue, 19 Jun 2018 07:42:22 -0700, "Cheri" >
wrote:

>"Gary" > wrote in message ...
>> Cheri wrote:
>>>
>>> "Gary" > wrote in message
>>> ...
>>>
>>> > Just be brave like me and quit going. All the others will be mad
>>> > and think you just didn't care about the person...Screw them and
>>> > their gossipy opinions. It's their ritual, not mine.
>>>
>>> Brave? Really? Could be that you're just lazy and self-centered in your
>>> old
>>> age, it happens. LOL
>>
>> No Cheri. I don't believe in the creepy funeral rituals. Never
>> have. Each to their own, right? No need to call me lazy just
>> because you don't agree.
>
>I was joking Gary, can't you take a joke, are you humor impaired? :-D

You can bet your noonni that when Gary's mommie passes he'll be such
an emotional wreck that he'll live at her grave site for a year and
longer. That Gary doesn't care about funerals is as fake as it
gets... he just doesn't care about anyone else but himself... Gary
doesnt give a rat's B-hind about any ferrets either, I'll bet when
they died he flushed them down the toilet... but first he pooped on
them, why waste water.

On Tue, 19 Jun 2018 11:22:55 -0400, Dave Smith
> wrote:

>On 2018-06-19 9:14 AM, Gary wrote:
>> Cindy Hamilton wrote:
>
>>> We drove about that far for funerals for some of my husband's family.
>>> Three of them were a few days after death; one was a couple of months.
>>> With a little luck, I've attended my last funeral.
>>
>> Just be brave like me and quit going. All the others will be mad
>> and think you just didn't care about the person...Screw them and
>> their gossipy opinions. It's their ritual, not mine.
>
>
>
>That's fine. Just be aware that they may not be there for you.
> If you aren't there to share their grief and offer support in their
>time of need you can't expect them to be there when you need it. You can
>also forget about being invited to weddings, birthdays and other
>celebrations.

Gary will be thrilled he's not invited, he won't have to buy gifts.

"dsi1" wrote in message
...

On Monday, June 18, 2018 at 10:08:34 PM UTC-10, Ophelia wrote:
>
> Yes I am) I hope yours are all filled with those lovely memories too)
>
> I very much doubt they take children in to see such things these days. At
> least I haven't heard of it. I certainly didn't put my own children
> through
> that.
>
> If my children or grands want to have some kind of service etc. they will
> be
> most welcome, but there will be no body lying there in the middle of it!

We never felt much need to take the kids to funerals. They tend to be boring
affairs anyway. When I was a kid I just hated Buddhist funerals. The priest
would sit and chant sutras that seemed to go on forever.

===

Aye, ours were Catholic. They had a full mass with it.

On 6/19/2018 4:10 PM, Shel-dumb Katz wrote:
> but first he pooped on me, why waste water.
>
https://imgur.com/a/nc664

Indeed! LOL!

On Tue, 19 Jun 2018 21:16:49 +0100, "Ophelia" >
wrote:

>
>
>"dsi1" wrote in message
...
>
>On Monday, June 18, 2018 at 10:08:34 PM UTC-10, Ophelia wrote:
>>
>> Yes I am) I hope yours are all filled with those lovely memories too)
>>
>> I very much doubt they take children in to see such things these days. At
>> least I haven't heard of it. I certainly didn't put my own children
>> through
>> that.
>>
>> If my children or grands want to have some kind of service etc. they will
>> be
>> most welcome, but there will be no body lying there in the middle of it!
>
>We never felt much need to take the kids to funerals. They tend to be boring
>affairs anyway. When I was a kid I just hated Buddhist funerals. The priest
>would sit and chant sutras that seemed to go on forever.
>
>===
>
>Aye, ours were Catholic. They had a full mass with it.

I only went to one Catholic funeral. I was enchanted by the church,
the altar, fonts and windows. It was a particularly beautiful church
without being 'important.'
Janet US

On 2018-06-19 1:28 PM, Cheri wrote:
> "dsi1" > wrote in message

>> We never felt much need to take the kids to funerals. They tend to be
>> boring affairs anyway. When I was a kid I just hated Buddhist
>> funerals. The priest would sit and chant sutras that seemed to go on
>> forever.
>
> ===
>
> The Catholic funerals can be long too.

A few years back we went to our neighbour's daughter's funeral at a
Christian Reformed church. It went on forever.

On Tue, 19 Jun 2018 17:39:23 -0400, Dave Smith
> wrote:

>On 2018-06-19 1:28 PM, Cheri wrote:
>> "dsi1" > wrote in message
>
>>> We never felt much need to take the kids to funerals. They tend to be
>>> boring affairs anyway. When I was a kid I just hated Buddhist
>>> funerals. The priest would sit and chant sutras that seemed to go on
>>> forever.
>>
>> ===
>>
>> The Catholic funerals can be long too.
>
>A few years back we went to our neighbour's daughter's funeral at a
>Christian Reformed church. It went on forever.

That sounds like old school Dutch protestants. They're known for
taking their time. There is nothing more important than their
religion, so why not?

On 2018-06-19 5:43 PM, Bruce wrote:
> On Tue, 19 Jun 2018 17:39:23 -0400, Dave Smith
> > wrote:
>
>> On 2018-06-19 1:28 PM, Cheri wrote:
>>> "dsi1" > wrote in message
>>
>>>> We never felt much need to take the kids to funerals. They tend to be
>>>> boring affairs anyway. When I was a kid I just hated Buddhist
>>>> funerals. The priest would sit and chant sutras that seemed to go on
>>>> forever.
>>>
>>> ===
>>>
>>> The Catholic funerals can be long too.
>>
>> A few years back we went to our neighbour's daughter's funeral at a
>> Christian Reformed church. It went on forever.
>
> That sounds like old school Dutch protestants. They're known for
> taking their time. There is nothing more important than their
> religion, so why not?
>

Yep. Very old school Dutch Protestants. The had a band that sang really
horrible sort of gospel songs. They had a couple of women who got up
and spoke about how they had been good friends of Heather but who turned
out to have been churchie types who had taken it upon themselves to
guide Heather to her place at the side of Jesus by being prayer guides.

I can appreciate that the family might take some comfort from the
service, but it made me very uncomfortable. I could have skipped it and
they probably would not have noticed I was not there. It did **** me
off that these women who had claimed to be such good friends were only
in it to pat themselves on their backs for being so good.

On Tue, 19 Jun 2018 19:16:47 -0400, Dave Smith
> wrote:

>On 2018-06-19 5:43 PM, Bruce wrote:
>> On Tue, 19 Jun 2018 17:39:23 -0400, Dave Smith
>> > wrote:
>>
>>> A few years back we went to our neighbour's daughter's funeral at a
>>> Christian Reformed church. It went on forever.
>>
>> That sounds like old school Dutch protestants. They're known for
>> taking their time. There is nothing more important than their
>> religion, so why not?
>>
>
>Yep. Very old school Dutch Protestants. The had a band that sang really
>horrible sort of gospel songs. They had a couple of women who got up
>and spoke about how they had been good friends of Heather but who turned
>out to have been churchie types who had taken it upon themselves to
>guide Heather to her place at the side of Jesus by being prayer guides.
>
>I can appreciate that the family might take some comfort from the
>service, but it made me very uncomfortable. I could have skipped it and
>they probably would not have noticed I was not there. It did **** me
>off that these women who had claimed to be such good friends were only
>in it to pat themselves on their backs for being so good.

Old school Dutch Reformed Protestants can be very obsessed about their
religion. No bike riding on Sundays, no ice creams on Sunday, that all
distracts from worshipping the Lord. Topsport is dubious, because you
have to be so dedicated to it that it goes at the expense of
worshipping the Lord. That kind of stuff. It's dying out, but there's
still a stubborn little bible belt in the Netherlands.

On 2018-06-19 7:24 PM, Bruce wrote:
> On Tue, 19 Jun 2018 19:16:47 -0400, Dave Smith
> > wrote:
>
>> On 2018-06-19 5:43 PM, Bruce wrote:
>>> On Tue, 19 Jun 2018 17:39:23 -0400, Dave Smith
>>> > wrote:
>>>
>>>> A few years back we went to our neighbour's daughter's funeral at a
>>>> Christian Reformed church. It went on forever.
>>>
>>> That sounds like old school Dutch protestants. They're known for
>>> taking their time. There is nothing more important than their
>>> religion, so why not?
>>>
>>
>> Yep. Very old school Dutch Protestants. The had a band that sang really
>> horrible sort of gospel songs. They had a couple of women who got up
>> and spoke about how they had been good friends of Heather but who turned
>> out to have been churchie types who had taken it upon themselves to
>> guide Heather to her place at the side of Jesus by being prayer guides.
>>
>> I can appreciate that the family might take some comfort from the
>> service, but it made me very uncomfortable. I could have skipped it and
>> they probably would not have noticed I was not there. It did **** me
>> off that these women who had claimed to be such good friends were only
>> in it to pat themselves on their backs for being so good.
>
> Old school Dutch Reformed Protestants can be very obsessed about their
> religion. No bike riding on Sundays, no ice creams on Sunday, that all
> distracts from worshipping the Lord. Topsport is dubious, because you
> have to be so dedicated to it that it goes at the expense of
> worshipping the Lord. That kind of stuff. It's dying out, but there's
> still a stubborn little bible belt in the Netherlands.
>

The Netherlands is a small country and they are spreading their wings.
Southern Ontario has a lot of agricultural land that attracts them.
There are ever increasing numbers of variations of Reform churches and
the local joke about the number of churches is that they keep having
arguments and go out and start their own church.

On Tue, 19 Jun 2018 19:30:40 -0400, Dave Smith
> wrote:

>On 2018-06-19 7:24 PM, Bruce wrote:
>> On Tue, 19 Jun 2018 19:16:47 -0400, Dave Smith
>> > wrote:
>>
>>> On 2018-06-19 5:43 PM, Bruce wrote:
>>>> On Tue, 19 Jun 2018 17:39:23 -0400, Dave Smith
>>>> > wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> A few years back we went to our neighbour's daughter's funeral at a
>>>>> Christian Reformed church. It went on forever.
>>>>
>>>> That sounds like old school Dutch protestants. They're known for
>>>> taking their time. There is nothing more important than their
>>>> religion, so why not?
>>>>
>>>
>>> Yep. Very old school Dutch Protestants. The had a band that sang really
>>> horrible sort of gospel songs. They had a couple of women who got up
>>> and spoke about how they had been good friends of Heather but who turned
>>> out to have been churchie types who had taken it upon themselves to
>>> guide Heather to her place at the side of Jesus by being prayer guides.
>>>
>>> I can appreciate that the family might take some comfort from the
>>> service, but it made me very uncomfortable. I could have skipped it and
>>> they probably would not have noticed I was not there. It did **** me
>>> off that these women who had claimed to be such good friends were only
>>> in it to pat themselves on their backs for being so good.
>>
>> Old school Dutch Reformed Protestants can be very obsessed about their
>> religion. No bike riding on Sundays, no ice creams on Sunday, that all
>> distracts from worshipping the Lord. Topsport is dubious, because you
>> have to be so dedicated to it that it goes at the expense of
>> worshipping the Lord. That kind of stuff. It's dying out, but there's
>> still a stubborn little bible belt in the Netherlands.
>>
>
>The Netherlands is a small country and they are spreading their wings.
>Southern Ontario has a lot of agricultural land that attracts them.
>There are ever increasing numbers of variations of Reform churches and
>the local joke about the number of churches is that they keep having
>arguments and go out and start their own church.

That joke about Protestants also goes around in the Netherlands. But
some of these emigrants are frozen in time. They emigrated in the 50s
and their attitude is still that from the 50s, whereas their original
country has obviously moved on. Although there still exists a tiny
minority like them.

wrote:
> On Tue, 19 Jun 2018 11:22:55 -0400, Dave Smith
> > wrote:
>
>> On 2018-06-19 9:14 AM, Gary wrote:
>>> Cindy Hamilton wrote:
>>
>>>> We drove about that far for funerals for some of my husband's family.
>>>> Three of them were a few days after death; one was a couple of months.
>>>> With a little luck, I've attended my last funeral.
>>>
>>> Just be brave like me and quit going. All the others will be mad
>>> and think you just didn't care about the person...Screw them and
>>> their gossipy opinions. It's their ritual, not mine.
>>
>>
>>
>> That's fine. Just be aware that they may not be there for you.
>> If you aren't there to share their grief and offer support in their
>> time of need you can't expect them to be there when you need it. You can
>> also forget about being invited to weddings, birthdays and other
>> celebrations.
>
> Gary will be thrilled he's not invited, he won't have to buy gifts.
>

Wow Popeye. Gary must have buggered yoose hind end.

No matter, just put some vaseline on yoose rectum and take a couple of
aspirins. Yoose will be OK.

On Tuesday, June 19, 2018 at 7:29:34 AM UTC-10, Cheri wrote:
>
> The Catholic funerals can be long too.
>
> Cheri

I shall take your word for it. I've never been to a Catholic funeral before although rumor has it that my wife is a lapsed Catholic.

We did go to a rosary for a kid that killed himself. We met at the parent's house and the family recited the decades in rounds. That took a while. I believe the rosary was to be repeated for 40 days. I suppose it's similar to the reading of the sutras in Buddhist funerals. I asked a priest what the sutras meant. He said he didn't know - it was just sounds he was reading off the book. Hee hee.

On Tuesday, June 19, 2018 at 10:16:56 AM UTC-10, Ophelia wrote:
>
> Aye, ours were Catholic. They had a full mass with it.

Not to insult Catholics but when I think of mass, it sounds like it's heavy and ponderous - well, like mass.

When I was a kid, the church we were associated with was the United Methodist Church. This, I admit, was a rather lightweight church - which was a weight lifted off my shoulder.

"U.S. Janet B." wrote in message
...

On Tue, 19 Jun 2018 21:16:49 +0100, "Ophelia" >
wrote:

>
>
>"dsi1" wrote in message
...
>
>On Monday, June 18, 2018 at 10:08:34 PM UTC-10, Ophelia wrote:
>>
>> Yes I am) I hope yours are all filled with those lovely memories
>> too)
>>
>> I very much doubt they take children in to see such things these days.
>> At
>> least I haven't heard of it. I certainly didn't put my own children
>> through
>> that.
>>
>> If my children or grands want to have some kind of service etc. they will
>> be
>> most welcome, but there will be no body lying there in the middle of it!
>
>We never felt much need to take the kids to funerals. They tend to be
>boring
>affairs anyway. When I was a kid I just hated Buddhist funerals. The priest
>would sit and chant sutras that seemed to go on forever.
>
>===
>
>Aye, ours were Catholic. They had a full mass with it.

I only went to one Catholic funeral. I was enchanted by the church,
the altar, fonts and windows. It was a particularly beautiful church
without being 'important.'
Janet US

==

Yes. It always looks like that

"dsi1" wrote in message
...

On Tuesday, June 19, 2018 at 10:16:56 AM UTC-10, Ophelia wrote:
>
> Aye, ours were Catholic. They had a full mass with it.

Not to insult Catholics but when I think of mass, it sounds like it's heavy
and ponderous - well, like mass.

When I was a kid, the church we were associated with was the United
Methodist Church. This, I admit, was a rather lightweight church - which was
a weight lifted off my shoulder.

==

When I was a teenager I loved the Mass. I was in the choir and used to sing
the Mass in Latin

On Tuesday, June 19, 2018 at 9:33:52 PM UTC-10, Ophelia wrote:
>
> When I was a teenager I loved the Mass. I was in the choir and used to sing
> the Mass in Latin

I am glad you enjoyed yourself and found meaning to it all.

"dsi1" wrote in message
...

On Tuesday, June 19, 2018 at 9:33:52 PM UTC-10, Ophelia wrote:
>
> When I was a teenager I loved the Mass. I was in the choir and used to
> sing
> the Mass in Latin

I am glad you enjoyed yourself and found meaning to it all.

==

Yes I did. Now? Not sure.

On Tuesday, June 19, 2018 at 11:13:55 PM UTC-4, dsi1 wrote:
> On Tuesday, June 19, 2018 at 10:16:56 AM UTC-10, Ophelia wrote:
> >
> > Aye, ours were Catholic. They had a full mass with it.
>
> Not to insult Catholics but when I think of mass, it sounds like it's heavy and ponderous - well, like mass.

You sparked my never-ending curiosity about the world. Here's its etymology:

From Middle English messe, from Old English mæsse and Old French messe, both from Late Latin missa, from Latin mittÅ� (€œto send, dismiss€�), compare French messe. In the ancient churches, the public services at which the catechumens were permitted to be present were called missa catechumenorum, ending with the reading of the Gospel. Then they were dismissed with the words: "Ite, missa est", the congregation is dismissed. After that the sacrifice proper began. At its close the same words were said to those who remained. So the word gave the name of Mass to the sacrifice in the Catholic Church. Compare Christmas, Lammas, Mess a dish, Missal. Doublet of missa.

Cindy Hamilton

On Wednesday, June 20, 2018 at 3:33:52 AM UTC-4, Ophelia wrote:
> "dsi1" wrote in message
> ...
>
> On Tuesday, June 19, 2018 at 10:16:56 AM UTC-10, Ophelia wrote:
> >
> > Aye, ours were Catholic. They had a full mass with it.
>
> Not to insult Catholics but when I think of mass, it sounds like it's heavy
> and ponderous - well, like mass.
>
> When I was a kid, the church we were associated with was the United
> Methodist Church. This, I admit, was a rather lightweight church - which was
> a weight lifted off my shoulder.
>
> ==
>
> When I was a teenager I loved the Mass. I was in the choir and used to sing
> the Mass in Latin

Although I'm not Catholic, I've sung in the choir at a couple of Catholic
churches.

I have to say, the last few times I went to Mass, the music was revolting.
Some modernistic, atonal crap. Bring Back Bach!

Cindy Hamilton

"Cindy Hamilton" wrote in message
...

On Wednesday, June 20, 2018 at 3:33:52 AM UTC-4, Ophelia wrote:
> "dsi1" wrote in message
> ...
>
> On Tuesday, June 19, 2018 at 10:16:56 AM UTC-10, Ophelia wrote:
> >
> > Aye, ours were Catholic. They had a full mass with it.
>
> Not to insult Catholics but when I think of mass, it sounds like it's
> heavy
> and ponderous - well, like mass.
>
> When I was a kid, the church we were associated with was the United
> Methodist Church. This, I admit, was a rather lightweight church - which
> was
> a weight lifted off my shoulder.
>
> ==
>
> When I was a teenager I loved the Mass. I was in the choir and used to
> sing
> the Mass in Latin

Although I'm not Catholic, I've sung in the choir at a couple of Catholic
churches.

I have to say, the last few times I went to Mass, the music was revolting.
Some modernistic, atonal crap. Bring Back Bach!

Cindy Hamilton

==

As I said, we sang the Mass, in Latin. Very few have Mass in Latin any more.