On Wednesday, June 20, 2018 at 7:34:13 AM UTC-4, Ophelia wrote:
> "Cindy Hamilton" wrote in message
> ...
>
> On Wednesday, June 20, 2018 at 3:33:52 AM UTC-4, Ophelia wrote:
> > "dsi1" wrote in message
> > ...
> >
> > On Tuesday, June 19, 2018 at 10:16:56 AM UTC-10, Ophelia wrote:
> > >
> > > Aye, ours were Catholic. They had a full mass with it.
> >
> > Not to insult Catholics but when I think of mass, it sounds like it's
> > heavy
> > and ponderous - well, like mass.
> >
> > When I was a kid, the church we were associated with was the United
> > Methodist Church. This, I admit, was a rather lightweight church - which
> > was
> > a weight lifted off my shoulder.
> >
> > ==
> >
> > When I was a teenager I loved the Mass. I was in the choir and used to
> > sing
> > the Mass in Latin
>
> Although I'm not Catholic, I've sung in the choir at a couple of Catholic
> churches.
>
> I have to say, the last few times I went to Mass, the music was revolting.
> Some modernistic, atonal crap. Bring Back Bach!
>
> Cindy Hamilton
>
> ==
>
> As I said, we sang the Mass, in Latin. Very few have Mass in Latin any more.

I certainly never have heard it, except another chorus I was
with sang Isaac's Missa Argentum et Aurum for a concert.

Even if I'd been raised Catholic, Vatican II took place when
I was 5 years old.

Cindy Hamilton

Am Mittwoch, 20. Juni 2018 16:25:49 UTC+2 schrieb Cindy Hamilton:
th sang Isaac's Missa Argentum et Aurum for a concert.
>
> Even if I'd been raised Catholic, Vatican II took place when
> I was 5 years old.

From Wikipedia: "The council, through the Holy See, formally opened under the pontificate of Pope John XXIII on 11 October 1962 and closed under Pope Paul VI on the Feast of the Immaculate Conception on 8 December 1965."

Bye, Sanne.

On 6/20/2018 10:25 AM, Cindy Hamilton wrote:

>>>
>>> Not to insult Catholics but when I think of mass, it sounds like it's
>>> heavy
>>> and ponderous - well, like mass.
>>>



>> As I said, we sang the Mass, in Latin. Very few have Mass in Latin any more.
>
> I certainly never have heard it, except another chorus I was
> with sang Isaac's Missa Argentum et Aurum for a concert.
>
> Even if I'd been raised Catholic, Vatican II took place when
> I was 5 years old.
>
> Cindy Hamilton
>

I thought the Mass in Latin was the most boring 45 minutes ever. Only
reason I went is my parent sent me or the class went every Wednesday.
My body was there but my mind was miles away.

On 6/18/2018 7:59 PM, Cheri wrote:
> "Dave Smith" > wrote in message
> ...
>> On 2018-06-18 2:10 PM, Cheri wrote:
>>> Fortunately in these later years everyone I knew and loved chose to
>>> be cremated, I don't do open caskets or body viewing. As my dear
>>> friend said when people got on her for not having a body viewing
>>> before cremation of her husband..."You should have viewed the body
>>> while it was alive." I always loved that.
>>>
I love it too!

(snippage)
>>
>> There was a brother in the picture.* She had not seen the guy for
>> about 20 years, and he had been estranged from the father for longer
>> than that.
(snip)

>> When the derelict brother finally got to the funeral
>> home he was upset about plans for cremation.* Well, too bad for him.
>> The father had wanted to be cremated and had prepaid everything so the
>> plans could not be changed to accommodate the son who had not seen his
>> father for decades.
>>
>
>
> Don't you just love it when these people show up out of nowhere and want
> to change everything to suit themselves? Geez, here's a bus ticket back
> to where you came from.
>
> Cheri

My brothers didn't appear out of nowhere but I did have to reschedule
our father's funeral. Mom had already made the cremation arrangements
prior to his death. He was cremated but the urn was to be interred at
the Beaufort National Cemetery, a service with full military honors.
They only hold those services on specific days with a contigent of
Marines from Parris Island. The arrangements were made and I called to
inform my brothers. Greedy middle brother informed me, "Oh! I can't
make it on that day, I have [business] meetings! You'll have to reschedule."

As if his employer wouldn't understand his father had just died.
Needless to say this was very upsetting to Mom.

Of course one of the first things my greedy middle brother did when he
arrived was read Dad's Will to find out who was getting what. Of course
*Mom* inherits everything, you idiot.

Middle-bro was named as the Executor in Dad's Will but much to his
surprise that didn't mean he was in charge of the bank accounts. Gee,
they're still Mom's accounts. Get the feeling I'm going somewhere with
this? LOL

He didn't even perform the duties of the Executor. He went back to
wherever, to his business meetings.

Meanwhile, Mom gave me Power of Attorney. I'm the one who was here and
made sure everything transferred smoothly to her name even though
everything was held jointly between them. There's a *ton* of paperwork
and no joy in it. I found insurance policies (dating back to the
1950's) to be tracked down and verified. Most lapsed or cancelled or
couldn't figure out which company gobbled up which company through the
years. Dealing with the government, transfer of his military pension.

My brother the wanna-be Executor seemed to think it was an honorary
title with automatic keys to the kingdom (bank accounts). Nope. Mom
gets first dibs on *their* money and all that. Surprise!

After Dad's service, middle brother and oldest brother were walking
around the house, arguing (rather loudly) over the things they'd like to
have. OMG, cut it out! None of this belongs to any of us! Mom isn't
dead so shut up.

No wonder she left me the house. I'll never forget the insensitivity.
Divvying up her belongings as if she wasn't there. Whoa!

Jill

On 2018-06-20 11:33 AM, jmcquown wrote:
> On 6/18/2018 7:59 PM, Cheri wrote:
>> "Dave Smith" > wrote in message

> My brother the wanna-be Executor seemed to think it was an honorary
> title with automatic keys to the kingdom (bank accounts).Â* Nope.Â* Mom
> gets first dibs on *their* money and all that.Â* Surprise!
>
> After Dad's service, middle brother and oldest brother were walking
> around the house, arguing (rather loudly) over the things they'd like to
> have.Â* OMG, cut it out!Â* None of this belongs to any of us!Â* Mom isn't
> dead so shut up.
>
> No wonder she left me the house.Â* I'll never forget the insensitivity.
> Divvying up her belongings as if she wasn't there.Â* Whoa!

Estates bring out the worst in people. My oldest brother was upset that
my father did not leave the house to him. He figured he was entitled to
it because he was the eldest son. I never saw my father's will but I
had always assumed that he would leave everything to my mother.

When my mother was preparing to move out of the house a few years later
she told my brothers and me that if we wanted any of Dad's stuff to
come and get it. She needed to get rid of a lot of stuff and was
counting on us to get what we wanted and to take a bunch of stuff to the
dump. My other two brothers and I went down one day to do that. We
called him several times and he said he would be over but never made it,
so he may have lost out on a lot.

He did show up about a weak later, by which time the house was almost
empty and he wanted to know what we were going to with my father's
Eskimo and Indian carvings. I told him to take them. He didn't want them
all and suggested we split them. Okay. Then we wanted to know how we
would do that. I suggested that we take turns choosing. Fine. He told
me to go first. Since he had not got anything else, I told him to go
first, but he insisted I choose first. Okay. I chose the one I like
best. Wouldn't you know he whined that was the one that he was going to
pick. I was ready to wring his neck.

A few years later his wife whined that he didn't get his fair share.
That may be true. He didn't bother to come to get anything. He also
didn't help clean out the rest of the stuff that was going to the dump.


After my mother died we were clearing out her condo. He didn't want
much. I suggest that he take the ice cream maker that I had bought for
her about a year earlier. I already had one. He didn't want it. I
suggested that his son, a chef, might like it. Nope. Fine. I took it.
It was better than my old one. It About a year later he called up and
said he had decided he would like the ice cream maker. I offered him my
old one. Nope.... he wanted Mom's. Well too bad. He didn't want it when
I was insisting he should take it, and I had had to have a repair done
on it, so he didn't get it.

On Wed, 20 Jun 2018 11:02:04 -0400, Ed Pawlowski > wrote:

>On 6/20/2018 10:25 AM, Cindy Hamilton wrote:
>
>>>>
>>>> Not to insult Catholics but when I think of mass, it sounds like it's
>>>> heavy
>>>> and ponderous - well, like mass.
>>>>
>
>
>
>>> As I said, we sang the Mass, in Latin. Very few have Mass in Latin any more.
>>
>> I certainly never have heard it, except another chorus I was
>> with sang Isaac's Missa Argentum et Aurum for a concert.
>>
>> Even if I'd been raised Catholic, Vatican II took place when
>> I was 5 years old.
>>
>> Cindy Hamilton
>>
>
>I thought the Mass in Latin was the most boring 45 minutes ever. Only
>reason I went is my parent sent me or the class went every Wednesday.
>My body was there but my mind was miles away.

Many people feel that way about classical music, the opera, ballet.
You probably wanted rock 'n roll.

"Cindy Hamilton" wrote in message
...

On Wednesday, June 20, 2018 at 7:34:13 AM UTC-4, Ophelia wrote:
> "Cindy Hamilton" wrote in message
> ...
>
> On Wednesday, June 20, 2018 at 3:33:52 AM UTC-4, Ophelia wrote:
> > "dsi1" wrote in message
> > ...
> >
> > On Tuesday, June 19, 2018 at 10:16:56 AM UTC-10, Ophelia wrote:
> > >
> > > Aye, ours were Catholic. They had a full mass with it.
> >
> > Not to insult Catholics but when I think of mass, it sounds like it's
> > heavy
> > and ponderous - well, like mass.
> >
> > When I was a kid, the church we were associated with was the United
> > Methodist Church. This, I admit, was a rather lightweight church - which
> > was
> > a weight lifted off my shoulder.
> >
> > ==
> >
> > When I was a teenager I loved the Mass. I was in the choir and used to
> > sing
> > the Mass in Latin
>
> Although I'm not Catholic, I've sung in the choir at a couple of Catholic
> churches.
>
> I have to say, the last few times I went to Mass, the music was revolting.
> Some modernistic, atonal crap. Bring Back Bach!
>
> Cindy Hamilton
>
> ==
>
> As I said, we sang the Mass, in Latin. Very few have Mass in Latin any
> more.

I certainly never have heard it, except another chorus I was
with sang Isaac's Missa Argentum et Aurum for a concert.

Even if I'd been raised Catholic, Vatican II took place when
I was 5 years old.

Cindy Hamilton

==

We have at least one church in Glasgow that still has Mass in Latin.

"Ed Pawlowski" wrote in message ...

On 6/20/2018 10:25 AM, Cindy Hamilton wrote:

>>>
>>> Not to insult Catholics but when I think of mass, it sounds like it's
>>> heavy
>>> and ponderous - well, like mass.
>>>



>> As I said, we sang the Mass, in Latin. Very few have Mass in Latin any
>> more.
>
> I certainly never have heard it, except another chorus I was
> with sang Isaac's Missa Argentum et Aurum for a concert.
>
> Even if I'd been raised Catholic, Vatican II took place when
> I was 5 years old.
>
> Cindy Hamilton
>

I thought the Mass in Latin was the most boring 45 minutes ever. Only
reason I went is my parent sent me or the class went every Wednesday.
My body was there but my mind was miles away.

==

Were you singing it?

"jmcquown" wrote in message ...

On 6/18/2018 7:59 PM, Cheri wrote:
> "Dave Smith" > wrote in message
> ...
>> On 2018-06-18 2:10 PM, Cheri wrote:
>>> Fortunately in these later years everyone I knew and loved chose to be
>>> cremated, I don't do open caskets or body viewing. As my dear friend
>>> said when people got on her for not having a body viewing before
>>> cremation of her husband..."You should have viewed the body while it was
>>> alive." I always loved that.
>>>
I love it too!

(snippage)
>>
>> There was a brother in the picture. She had not seen the guy for about
>> 20 years, and he had been estranged from the father for longer than that.
(snip)

>> When the derelict brother finally got to the funeral home he was upset
>> about plans for cremation. Well, too bad for him. The father had wanted
>> to be cremated and had prepaid everything so the plans could not be
>> changed to accommodate the son who had not seen his father for decades.
>>
>
>
> Don't you just love it when these people show up out of nowhere and want
> to change everything to suit themselves? Geez, here's a bus ticket back to
> where you came from.
>
> Cheri

My brothers didn't appear out of nowhere but I did have to reschedule
our father's funeral. Mom had already made the cremation arrangements
prior to his death. He was cremated but the urn was to be interred at
the Beaufort National Cemetery, a service with full military honors.
They only hold those services on specific days with a contigent of
Marines from Parris Island. The arrangements were made and I called to
inform my brothers. Greedy middle brother informed me, "Oh! I can't
make it on that day, I have [business] meetings! You'll have to reschedule."

As if his employer wouldn't understand his father had just died.
Needless to say this was very upsetting to Mom.

Of course one of the first things my greedy middle brother did when he
arrived was read Dad's Will to find out who was getting what. Of course
*Mom* inherits everything, you idiot.

Middle-bro was named as the Executor in Dad's Will but much to his
surprise that didn't mean he was in charge of the bank accounts. Gee,
they're still Mom's accounts. Get the feeling I'm going somewhere with
this? LOL

He didn't even perform the duties of the Executor. He went back to
wherever, to his business meetings.

Meanwhile, Mom gave me Power of Attorney. I'm the one who was here and
made sure everything transferred smoothly to her name even though
everything was held jointly between them. There's a *ton* of paperwork
and no joy in it. I found insurance policies (dating back to the
1950's) to be tracked down and verified. Most lapsed or cancelled or
couldn't figure out which company gobbled up which company through the
years. Dealing with the government, transfer of his military pension.

My brother the wanna-be Executor seemed to think it was an honorary
title with automatic keys to the kingdom (bank accounts). Nope. Mom
gets first dibs on *their* money and all that. Surprise!

After Dad's service, middle brother and oldest brother were walking
around the house, arguing (rather loudly) over the things they'd like to
have. OMG, cut it out! None of this belongs to any of us! Mom isn't
dead so shut up.

No wonder she left me the house. I'll never forget the insensitivity.
Divvying up her belongings as if she wasn't there. Whoa!

Jill

==

No wonder indeed!!!

On 2018-06-20 12:18 PM, U.S. Janet B. wrote:
> On Wed, 20 Jun 2018 11:02:04 -0400, Ed Pawlowski > wrote:
>
>> I thought the Mass in Latin was the most boring 45 minutes ever. Only
>> reason I went is my parent sent me or the class went every Wednesday.
>> My body was there but my mind was miles away.
>
> Many people feel that way about classical music, the opera, ballet.
> You probably wanted rock 'n roll.


My wife was raised in the United Church and was thankful that her father
had left the Dutch Reform. She ended up at the Anglican Church in town
and was on the choir. She loved the old traditions of the Anglican
church, but she got frustrated when a new minister came along and
decided to modernize the church and the service. He had a big screen
installed that rolled down for audio visual presentations and then
started project the Three Tenors singing during Communion, a time when
she liked to look at the stained glass windows while the choir sang.

She complained to the minister several times but he dismissed her
concerns and said it was important to attract new, young families. He
did manage to attract on small family, but he lost her and at least a
half dozen other couples. One returned to the Roman Catholic church. She
was French Canadian and he was Irish Catholic. My wife and the others
went to a high Anglican church in a nearby city.

On Wednesday, June 20, 2018 at 10:44:15 AM UTC-4, sanne wrote:
> Am Mittwoch, 20. Juni 2018 16:25:49 UTC+2 schrieb Cindy Hamilton:
> th sang Isaac's Missa Argentum et Aurum for a concert.
> >
> > Even if I'd been raised Catholic, Vatican II took place when
> > I was 5 years old.
>
> From Wikipedia: "The council, through the Holy See, formally opened under the pontificate of Pope John XXIII on 11 October 1962 and closed under Pope Paul VI on the Feast of the Immaculate Conception on 8 December 1965."
>
> Bye, Sanne.

Ok, I was 5 when they started and 8 when they finished. Had I
been Catholic, I might have noticed the change from Latin
to vernacular Mass.

Cindy Hamilton

"U.S. Janet B." wrote in message
...

On Wed, 20 Jun 2018 11:02:04 -0400, Ed Pawlowski > wrote:

>On 6/20/2018 10:25 AM, Cindy Hamilton wrote:
>
>>>>
>>>> Not to insult Catholics but when I think of mass, it sounds like it's
>>>> heavy
>>>> and ponderous - well, like mass.
>>>>
>
>
>
>>> As I said, we sang the Mass, in Latin. Very few have Mass in Latin any
>>> more.
>>
>> I certainly never have heard it, except another chorus I was
>> with sang Isaac's Missa Argentum et Aurum for a concert.
>>
>> Even if I'd been raised Catholic, Vatican II took place when
>> I was 5 years old.
>>
>> Cindy Hamilton
>>
>
>I thought the Mass in Latin was the most boring 45 minutes ever. Only
>reason I went is my parent sent me or the class went every Wednesday.
>My body was there but my mind was miles away.

Many people feel that way about classical music, the opera, ballet.
You probably wanted rock 'n roll.

==

LOL I love all of that)

On 6/20/2018 12:18 PM, Ophelia wrote:
>
>
> "jmcquown"* wrote in message ...
>
> On 6/18/2018 7:59 PM, Cheri wrote:
>> "Dave Smith" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>> On 2018-06-18 2:10 PM, Cheri wrote:
>>>> Fortunately in these later years everyone I knew and loved chose to be
>>>> cremated, I don't do open caskets or body viewing. As my dear friend
>>>> said when people got on her for not having a body viewing before
>>>> cremation of her husband..."You should have viewed the body while it
>>>> was
>>>> alive." I always loved that.
>>>>
> I love it too!
>
> (snippage)
>>>
>>> There was a brother in the picture.* She had not seen the guy for about
>>> 20 years, and he had been estranged from the father for longer than
>>> that.
> (snip)
>
>>> When the derelict brother finally got to the funeral home he was upset
>>> about plans for cremation.* Well, too bad for him. The father had wanted
>>> to be cremated and had prepaid everything so the plans could not be
>>> changed to accommodate the son who had not seen his father for decades.
>>>
>>
>>
>> Don't you just love it when these people show up out of nowhere and want
>> to change everything to suit themselves? Geez, here's a bus ticket
>> back to
>> where you came from.
>>
>> Cheri
>
> My brothers didn't appear out of nowhere but I did have to reschedule
> our father's funeral.* Mom had already made the cremation arrangements
> prior to his death.* He was cremated but the urn was to be interred at
> the Beaufort National Cemetery, a service with full military honors.
> They only hold those services on specific days with a contigent of
> Marines from Parris Island.* The arrangements were made and I called to
> inform my brothers.* Greedy middle brother informed me, "Oh! I can't
> make it on that day, I have [business] meetings! You'll have to
> reschedule."
>
> As if his employer wouldn't understand his father had just died.
> Needless to say this was very upsetting to Mom.
>
> Of course one of the first things my greedy middle brother did when he
> arrived was read Dad's Will to find out who was getting what.* Of course
> *Mom* inherits everything, you idiot.
>
> Middle-bro was named as the Executor in Dad's Will but much to his
> surprise that didn't mean he was in charge of the bank accounts.* Gee,
> they're still Mom's accounts.* Get the feeling I'm going somewhere with
> this? LOL
>
> He didn't even perform the duties of the Executor.* He went back to
> wherever, to his business meetings.
>
> Meanwhile, Mom gave me Power of Attorney.* I'm the one who was here and
> made sure everything transferred smoothly to her name even though
> everything was held jointly between them.* There's a *ton* of paperwork
> and no joy in it.* I found insurance policies (dating back to the
> 1950's) to be tracked down and verified.* Most lapsed or cancelled or
> couldn't figure out which company gobbled up which company through the
> years.* Dealing with the government, transfer of his military pension.
>
> My brother the wanna-be Executor seemed to think it was an honorary
> title with automatic keys to the kingdom (bank accounts).* Nope.* Mom
> gets first dibs on *their* money and all that.* Surprise!
>
> After Dad's service, middle brother and oldest brother were walking
> around the house, arguing (rather loudly) over the things they'd like to
> have.* OMG, cut it out!* None of this belongs to any of us!* Mom isn't
> dead so shut up.
>
> No wonder she left me the house.* I'll never forget the insensitivity.
> Divvying up her belongings as if she wasn't there.* Whoa!
>
> Jill
>
> ==
>
> No wonder indeed!!!
>
I couldn't believe my brothers were so cold and callous. Mom never let
on she heard them squabbling on that day but I'm sure she did.

Jill

Am Mittwoch, 20. Juni 2018 18:47:34 UTC+2 schrieb Cindy Hamilton:
> On Wednesday, June 20, 2018 at 10:44:15 AM UTC-4, sanne wrote:
> > Am Mittwoch, 20. Juni 2018 16:25:49 UTC+2 schrieb Cindy Hamilton:
> > th sang Isaac's Missa Argentum et Aurum for a concert.
> > >
> > > Even if I'd been raised Catholic, Vatican II took place when
> > > I was 5 years old.
> >
> > From Wikipedia: "The council, through the Holy See, formally opened under the pontificate of Pope John XXIII on 11 October 1962 and closed under Pope Paul VI on the Feast of the Immaculate Conception on 8 December 1965."
> >
> > Bye, Sanne.
>
> Ok, I was 5 when they started and 8 when they finished. Had I
> been Catholic, I might have noticed the change from Latin
> to vernacular Mass.

I was short of turning 4 when they finished - and I had my fair share of
funerals (grand-parents) only a few years later. Open caskets, home
burial (my grandfather on my mother's side) or chapel (next to a hated
neighbor in my mother's mother's case) - I was too young to understand
my mother's sadness...

Bye, Sanne.

"jmcquown" wrote in message ...

On 6/20/2018 12:18 PM, Ophelia wrote:
>
>
> "jmcquown" wrote in message ...
>
> On 6/18/2018 7:59 PM, Cheri wrote:
>> "Dave Smith" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>> On 2018-06-18 2:10 PM, Cheri wrote:
>>>> Fortunately in these later years everyone I knew and loved chose to be
>>>> cremated, I don't do open caskets or body viewing. As my dear friend
>>>> said when people got on her for not having a body viewing before
>>>> cremation of her husband..."You should have viewed the body while it
>>>> was
>>>> alive." I always loved that.
>>>>
> I love it too!
>
> (snippage)
>>>
>>> There was a brother in the picture. She had not seen the guy for about
>>> 20 years, and he had been estranged from the father for longer than
>>> that.
> (snip)
>
>>> When the derelict brother finally got to the funeral home he was upset
>>> about plans for cremation. Well, too bad for him. The father had wanted
>>> to be cremated and had prepaid everything so the plans could not be
>>> changed to accommodate the son who had not seen his father for decades.
>>>
>>
>>
>> Don't you just love it when these people show up out of nowhere and want
>> to change everything to suit themselves? Geez, here's a bus ticket back
>> to
>> where you came from.
>>
>> Cheri
>
> My brothers didn't appear out of nowhere but I did have to reschedule
> our father's funeral. Mom had already made the cremation arrangements
> prior to his death. He was cremated but the urn was to be interred at
> the Beaufort National Cemetery, a service with full military honors.
> They only hold those services on specific days with a contigent of
> Marines from Parris Island. The arrangements were made and I called to
> inform my brothers. Greedy middle brother informed me, "Oh! I can't
> make it on that day, I have [business] meetings! You'll have to
> reschedule."
>
> As if his employer wouldn't understand his father had just died.
> Needless to say this was very upsetting to Mom.
>
> Of course one of the first things my greedy middle brother did when he
> arrived was read Dad's Will to find out who was getting what. Of course
> *Mom* inherits everything, you idiot.
>
> Middle-bro was named as the Executor in Dad's Will but much to his
> surprise that didn't mean he was in charge of the bank accounts. Gee,
> they're still Mom's accounts. Get the feeling I'm going somewhere with
> this? LOL
>
> He didn't even perform the duties of the Executor. He went back to
> wherever, to his business meetings.
>
> Meanwhile, Mom gave me Power of Attorney. I'm the one who was here and
> made sure everything transferred smoothly to her name even though
> everything was held jointly between them. There's a *ton* of paperwork
> and no joy in it. I found insurance policies (dating back to the
> 1950's) to be tracked down and verified. Most lapsed or cancelled or
> couldn't figure out which company gobbled up which company through the
> years. Dealing with the government, transfer of his military pension.
>
> My brother the wanna-be Executor seemed to think it was an honorary
> title with automatic keys to the kingdom (bank accounts). Nope. Mom
> gets first dibs on *their* money and all that. Surprise!
>
> After Dad's service, middle brother and oldest brother were walking
> around the house, arguing (rather loudly) over the things they'd like to
> have. OMG, cut it out! None of this belongs to any of us! Mom isn't
> dead so shut up.
>
> No wonder she left me the house. I'll never forget the insensitivity.
> Divvying up her belongings as if she wasn't there. Whoa!
>
> Jill
>
> ==
>
> No wonder indeed!!!
>
I couldn't believe my brothers were so cold and callous. Mom never let
on she heard them squabbling on that day but I'm sure she did.

Jill
===

Yes I don't doubt that she did. It must have hurt her dreadfully.

She knew what she was doing when she left her house to you!

Did you get any kick back from the brothers??

On 6/20/2018 1:34 PM, Ophelia wrote:
>
>
> "jmcquown"* wrote in message ...
>
> On 6/20/2018 12:18 PM, Ophelia wrote:
>>
>>
>> "jmcquown"* wrote in message ...
>>
>> On 6/18/2018 7:59 PM, Cheri wrote:
>>> "Dave Smith" > wrote in message
>>> ...
>>>> On 2018-06-18 2:10 PM, Cheri wrote:
>>>>> Fortunately in these later years everyone I knew and loved chose to be
>>>>> cremated, I don't do open caskets or body viewing. As my dear friend
>>>>> said when people got on her for not having a body viewing before
>>>>> cremation of her husband..."You should have viewed the body while
>>>>> it was
>>>>> alive." I always loved that.
>>>>>
>> I love it too!
>>
>> (snippage)
>>>>
>>>> There was a brother in the picture.* She had not seen the guy for about
>>>> 20 years, and he had been estranged from the father for longer than
>>>> that.
>> (snip)
>>
>>>> When the derelict brother finally got to the funeral home he was upset
>>>> about plans for cremation.* Well, too bad for him. The father had
>>>> wanted
>>>> to be cremated and had prepaid everything so the plans could not be
>>>> changed to accommodate the son who had not seen his father for decades.
>>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Don't you just love it when these people show up out of nowhere and want
>>> to change everything to suit themselves? Geez, here's a bus ticket
>>> back to
>>> where you came from.
>>>
>>> Cheri
>>
>> My brothers didn't appear out of nowhere but I did have to reschedule
>> our father's funeral.* Mom had already made the cremation arrangements
>> prior to his death.* He was cremated but the urn was to be interred at
>> the Beaufort National Cemetery, a service with full military honors.
>> They only hold those services on specific days with a contigent of
>> Marines from Parris Island.* The arrangements were made and I called to
>> inform my brothers.* Greedy middle brother informed me, "Oh! I can't
>> make it on that day, I have [business] meetings! You'll have to
>> reschedule."
>>
>> As if his employer wouldn't understand his father had just died.
>> Needless to say this was very upsetting to Mom.
>>
>> Of course one of the first things my greedy middle brother did when he
>> arrived was read Dad's Will to find out who was getting what.* Of course
>> *Mom* inherits everything, you idiot.
>>
>> Middle-bro was named as the Executor in Dad's Will but much to his
>> surprise that didn't mean he was in charge of the bank accounts.* Gee,
>> they're still Mom's accounts.* Get the feeling I'm going somewhere with
>> this? LOL
>>
>> He didn't even perform the duties of the Executor.* He went back to
>> wherever, to his business meetings.
>>
>> Meanwhile, Mom gave me Power of Attorney.* I'm the one who was here and
>> made sure everything transferred smoothly to her name even though
>> everything was held jointly between them.* There's a *ton* of paperwork
>> and no joy in it.* I found insurance policies (dating back to the
>> 1950's) to be tracked down and verified.* Most lapsed or cancelled or
>> couldn't figure out which company gobbled up which company through the
>> years.* Dealing with the government, transfer of his military pension.
>>
>> My brother the wanna-be Executor seemed to think it was an honorary
>> title with automatic keys to the kingdom (bank accounts).* Nope.* Mom
>> gets first dibs on *their* money and all that.* Surprise!
>>
>> After Dad's service, middle brother and oldest brother were walking
>> around the house, arguing (rather loudly) over the things they'd like to
>> have.* OMG, cut it out!* None of this belongs to any of us!* Mom isn't
>> dead so shut up.
>>
>> No wonder she left me the house.* I'll never forget the insensitivity.
>> Divvying up her belongings as if she wasn't there.* Whoa!
>>
>> Jill
>>
>> ==
>>
>> No wonder indeed!!!
>>
> I couldn't believe my brothers were so cold and callous.* Mom never let
> on she heard them squabbling on that day but I'm sure she did.
>
> Jill
> ===
>
> Yes I don't doubt that she did.* It must have hurt her dreadfully.
>
> She knew what she was doing when she left her house to you!
>
> Did you get any kick back from the brothers??
>
Of course not. I gave them the furnishings they asked for. I split the
money with them. I wound up paying the taxes on an annuity she had
which I split with them.

Jill

"jmcquown" wrote in message ...

On 6/20/2018 1:34 PM, Ophelia wrote:
>
>
> "jmcquown" wrote in message ...
>
> On 6/20/2018 12:18 PM, Ophelia wrote:
>>
>>
>> "jmcquown" wrote in message ...
>>
>> On 6/18/2018 7:59 PM, Cheri wrote:
>>> "Dave Smith" > wrote in message
>>> ...
>>>> On 2018-06-18 2:10 PM, Cheri wrote:
>>>>> Fortunately in these later years everyone I knew and loved chose to be
>>>>> cremated, I don't do open caskets or body viewing. As my dear friend
>>>>> said when people got on her for not having a body viewing before
>>>>> cremation of her husband..."You should have viewed the body while it
>>>>> was
>>>>> alive." I always loved that.
>>>>>
>> I love it too!
>>
>> (snippage)
>>>>
>>>> There was a brother in the picture. She had not seen the guy for about
>>>> 20 years, and he had been estranged from the father for longer than
>>>> that.
>> (snip)
>>
>>>> When the derelict brother finally got to the funeral home he was upset
>>>> about plans for cremation. Well, too bad for him. The father had
>>>> wanted
>>>> to be cremated and had prepaid everything so the plans could not be
>>>> changed to accommodate the son who had not seen his father for decades.
>>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Don't you just love it when these people show up out of nowhere and want
>>> to change everything to suit themselves? Geez, here's a bus ticket back
>>> to
>>> where you came from.
>>>
>>> Cheri
>>
>> My brothers didn't appear out of nowhere but I did have to reschedule
>> our father's funeral. Mom had already made the cremation arrangements
>> prior to his death. He was cremated but the urn was to be interred at
>> the Beaufort National Cemetery, a service with full military honors.
>> They only hold those services on specific days with a contigent of
>> Marines from Parris Island. The arrangements were made and I called to
>> inform my brothers. Greedy middle brother informed me, "Oh! I can't
>> make it on that day, I have [business] meetings! You'll have to
>> reschedule."
>>
>> As if his employer wouldn't understand his father had just died.
>> Needless to say this was very upsetting to Mom.
>>
>> Of course one of the first things my greedy middle brother did when he
>> arrived was read Dad's Will to find out who was getting what. Of course
>> *Mom* inherits everything, you idiot.
>>
>> Middle-bro was named as the Executor in Dad's Will but much to his
>> surprise that didn't mean he was in charge of the bank accounts. Gee,
>> they're still Mom's accounts. Get the feeling I'm going somewhere with
>> this? LOL
>>
>> He didn't even perform the duties of the Executor. He went back to
>> wherever, to his business meetings.
>>
>> Meanwhile, Mom gave me Power of Attorney. I'm the one who was here and
>> made sure everything transferred smoothly to her name even though
>> everything was held jointly between them. There's a *ton* of paperwork
>> and no joy in it. I found insurance policies (dating back to the
>> 1950's) to be tracked down and verified. Most lapsed or cancelled or
>> couldn't figure out which company gobbled up which company through the
>> years. Dealing with the government, transfer of his military pension.
>>
>> My brother the wanna-be Executor seemed to think it was an honorary
>> title with automatic keys to the kingdom (bank accounts). Nope. Mom
>> gets first dibs on *their* money and all that. Surprise!
>>
>> After Dad's service, middle brother and oldest brother were walking
>> around the house, arguing (rather loudly) over the things they'd like to
>> have. OMG, cut it out! None of this belongs to any of us! Mom isn't
>> dead so shut up.
>>
>> No wonder she left me the house. I'll never forget the insensitivity.
>> Divvying up her belongings as if she wasn't there. Whoa!
>>
>> Jill
>>
>> ==
>>
>> No wonder indeed!!!
>>
> I couldn't believe my brothers were so cold and callous. Mom never let
> on she heard them squabbling on that day but I'm sure she did.
>
> Jill
> ===
>
> Yes I don't doubt that she did. It must have hurt her dreadfully.
>
> She knew what she was doing when she left her house to you!
>
> Did you get any kick back from the brothers??
>
Of course not. I gave them the furnishings they asked for. I split the
money with them. I wound up paying the taxes on an annuity she had
which I split with them.

Jill

==

Yes, I remember I am sure they were still not best pleased

On Wed, 20 Jun 2018 10:07:12 -0700 (PDT), sanne
> wrote:

>Am Mittwoch, 20. Juni 2018 18:47:34 UTC+2 schrieb Cindy Hamilton:
>> On Wednesday, June 20, 2018 at 10:44:15 AM UTC-4, sanne wrote:
>> > Am Mittwoch, 20. Juni 2018 16:25:49 UTC+2 schrieb Cindy Hamilton:
>> > th sang Isaac's Missa Argentum et Aurum for a concert.
>> > >
>> > > Even if I'd been raised Catholic, Vatican II took place when
>> > > I was 5 years old.
>> >
>> > From Wikipedia: "The council, through the Holy See, formally opened under the pontificate of Pope John XXIII on 11 October 1962 and closed under Pope Paul VI on the Feast of the Immaculate Conception on 8 December 1965."
>> >
>> > Bye, Sanne.
>>
>> Ok, I was 5 when they started and 8 when they finished. Had I
>> been Catholic, I might have noticed the change from Latin
>> to vernacular Mass.
>
>I was short of turning 4 when they finished - and I had my fair share of
>funerals (grand-parents) only a few years later. Open caskets, home
>burial (my grandfather on my mother's side) or chapel (next to a hated
>neighbor in my mother's mother's case) - I was too young to understand
>my mother's sadness...
>
>Bye, Sanne.

I was 15 when the police came to my boarding school, took me an hours
drive away to a gloomy Victorian morgue and then told me I was to
identify the body of my brother who had been killed in a crash on his
motorcycle, not his fault but just as dead and terrible to see.

I dropped my eyes as he pulled the sheet back because I knew by the
scar on the hand it was him, but the policeman said not good enough,
you must look at the face. I can still see his face. I heard
someone talking on the radio once who described a similar sort of
experience and remarked that it gave him PTSD for quite awhile. Then
I understood why I had felt as I did the rest of my teens and beyond.

On 6/20/2018 3:19 PM, Ophelia wrote:
>
>
> "jmcquown"* wrote in message ...
>
> On 6/20/2018 1:34 PM, Ophelia wrote:
>>
>>
>> "jmcquown"* wrote in message ...
>>
>> On 6/20/2018 12:18 PM, Ophelia wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>> "jmcquown"* wrote in message ...
>>>
>>> On 6/18/2018 7:59 PM, Cheri wrote:
>>>> "Dave Smith" > wrote in message
>>>> ...
>>>>> On 2018-06-18 2:10 PM, Cheri wrote:
>>>>>> Fortunately in these later years everyone I knew and loved chose
>>>>>> to be
>>>>>> cremated, I don't do open caskets or body viewing. As my dear friend
>>>>>> said when people got on her for not having a body viewing before
>>>>>> cremation of her husband..."You should have viewed the body while it
>>>>>> was
>>>>>> alive." I always loved that.
>>>>>>
>>> I love it too!
>>>
>>> (snippage)
>>>>>
>>>>> There was a brother in the picture.* She had not seen the guy for
>>>>> about
>>>>> 20 years, and he had been estranged from the father for longer than
>>>>> that.
>>> (snip)
>>>
>>>>> When the derelict brother finally got to the funeral home he was upset
>>>>> about plans for cremation.* Well, too bad for him. The father had
>>>>> wanted
>>>>> to be cremated and had prepaid everything so the plans could not be
>>>>> changed to accommodate the son who had not seen his father for
>>>>> decades.
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Don't you just love it when these people show up out of nowhere and
>>>> want
>>>> to change everything to suit themselves? Geez, here's a bus ticket back
>>>> to
>>>> where you came from.
>>>>
>>>> Cheri
>>>
>>> My brothers didn't appear out of nowhere but I did have to reschedule
>>> our father's funeral.* Mom had already made the cremation arrangements
>>> prior to his death.* He was cremated but the urn was to be interred at
>>> the Beaufort National Cemetery, a service with full military honors.
>>> They only hold those services on specific days with a contigent of
>>> Marines from Parris Island.* The arrangements were made and I called to
>>> inform my brothers.* Greedy middle brother informed me, "Oh! I can't
>>> make it on that day, I have [business] meetings! You'll have to
>>> reschedule."
>>>
>>> As if his employer wouldn't understand his father had just died.
>>> Needless to say this was very upsetting to Mom.
>>>
>>> Of course one of the first things my greedy middle brother did when he
>>> arrived was read Dad's Will to find out who was getting what.* Of course
>>> *Mom* inherits everything, you idiot.
>>>
>>> Middle-bro was named as the Executor in Dad's Will but much to his
>>> surprise that didn't mean he was in charge of the bank accounts.* Gee,
>>> they're still Mom's accounts.* Get the feeling I'm going somewhere with
>>> this? LOL
>>>
>>> He didn't even perform the duties of the Executor.* He went back to
>>> wherever, to his business meetings.
>>>
>>> Meanwhile, Mom gave me Power of Attorney.* I'm the one who was here and
>>> made sure everything transferred smoothly to her name even though
>>> everything was held jointly between them.* There's a *ton* of paperwork
>>> and no joy in it.* I found insurance policies (dating back to the
>>> 1950's) to be tracked down and verified.* Most lapsed or cancelled or
>>> couldn't figure out which company gobbled up which company through the
>>> years.* Dealing with the government, transfer of his military pension.
>>>
>>> My brother the wanna-be Executor seemed to think it was an honorary
>>> title with automatic keys to the kingdom (bank accounts).* Nope.* Mom
>>> gets first dibs on *their* money and all that.* Surprise!
>>>
>>> After Dad's service, middle brother and oldest brother were walking
>>> around the house, arguing (rather loudly) over the things they'd like to
>>> have.* OMG, cut it out!* None of this belongs to any of us!* Mom isn't
>>> dead so shut up.
>>>
>>> No wonder she left me the house.* I'll never forget the insensitivity.
>>> Divvying up her belongings as if she wasn't there.* Whoa!
>>>
>>> Jill
>>>
>>> ==
>>>
>>> No wonder indeed!!!
>>>
>> I couldn't believe my brothers were so cold and callous.* Mom never let
>> on she heard them squabbling on that day but I'm sure she did.
>>
>> Jill
>> ===
>>
>> Yes I don't doubt that she did.* It must have hurt her dreadfully.
>>
>> She knew what she was doing when she left her house to you!
>>
>> Did you get any kick back from the brothers??
>>
> Of course not.* I gave them the furnishings they asked for.* I split the
> money with them.* I wound up paying the taxes on an annuity she had
> which I split with them.
>
> Jill
>
> ==
>
> Yes, I remember* I am sure they were still not best pleased
>
Of course they weren't. Didn't matter. They got lots of money but made
things very difficult for me. Our mother would not have been at all
pleased.

Jill

"jmcquown" wrote in message ...

On 6/20/2018 3:19 PM, Ophelia wrote:
>
>
> "jmcquown" wrote in message ...
>
> On 6/20/2018 1:34 PM, Ophelia wrote:
>>
>>
>> "jmcquown" wrote in message ...
>>
>> On 6/20/2018 12:18 PM, Ophelia wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>> "jmcquown" wrote in message ...
>>>
>>> On 6/18/2018 7:59 PM, Cheri wrote:
>>>> "Dave Smith" > wrote in message
>>>> ...
>>>>> On 2018-06-18 2:10 PM, Cheri wrote:
>>>>>> Fortunately in these later years everyone I knew and loved chose to
>>>>>> be
>>>>>> cremated, I don't do open caskets or body viewing. As my dear friend
>>>>>> said when people got on her for not having a body viewing before
>>>>>> cremation of her husband..."You should have viewed the body while it
>>>>>> was
>>>>>> alive." I always loved that.
>>>>>>
>>> I love it too!
>>>
>>> (snippage)
>>>>>
>>>>> There was a brother in the picture. She had not seen the guy for
>>>>> about
>>>>> 20 years, and he had been estranged from the father for longer than
>>>>> that.
>>> (snip)
>>>
>>>>> When the derelict brother finally got to the funeral home he was upset
>>>>> about plans for cremation. Well, too bad for him. The father had
>>>>> wanted
>>>>> to be cremated and had prepaid everything so the plans could not be
>>>>> changed to accommodate the son who had not seen his father for
>>>>> decades.
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Don't you just love it when these people show up out of nowhere and
>>>> want
>>>> to change everything to suit themselves? Geez, here's a bus ticket back
>>>> to
>>>> where you came from.
>>>>
>>>> Cheri
>>>
>>> My brothers didn't appear out of nowhere but I did have to reschedule
>>> our father's funeral. Mom had already made the cremation arrangements
>>> prior to his death. He was cremated but the urn was to be interred at
>>> the Beaufort National Cemetery, a service with full military honors.
>>> They only hold those services on specific days with a contigent of
>>> Marines from Parris Island. The arrangements were made and I called to
>>> inform my brothers. Greedy middle brother informed me, "Oh! I can't
>>> make it on that day, I have [business] meetings! You'll have to
>>> reschedule."
>>>
>>> As if his employer wouldn't understand his father had just died.
>>> Needless to say this was very upsetting to Mom.
>>>
>>> Of course one of the first things my greedy middle brother did when he
>>> arrived was read Dad's Will to find out who was getting what. Of course
>>> *Mom* inherits everything, you idiot.
>>>
>>> Middle-bro was named as the Executor in Dad's Will but much to his
>>> surprise that didn't mean he was in charge of the bank accounts. Gee,
>>> they're still Mom's accounts. Get the feeling I'm going somewhere with
>>> this? LOL
>>>
>>> He didn't even perform the duties of the Executor. He went back to
>>> wherever, to his business meetings.
>>>
>>> Meanwhile, Mom gave me Power of Attorney. I'm the one who was here and
>>> made sure everything transferred smoothly to her name even though
>>> everything was held jointly between them. There's a *ton* of paperwork
>>> and no joy in it. I found insurance policies (dating back to the
>>> 1950's) to be tracked down and verified. Most lapsed or cancelled or
>>> couldn't figure out which company gobbled up which company through the
>>> years. Dealing with the government, transfer of his military pension.
>>>
>>> My brother the wanna-be Executor seemed to think it was an honorary
>>> title with automatic keys to the kingdom (bank accounts). Nope. Mom
>>> gets first dibs on *their* money and all that. Surprise!
>>>
>>> After Dad's service, middle brother and oldest brother were walking
>>> around the house, arguing (rather loudly) over the things they'd like to
>>> have. OMG, cut it out! None of this belongs to any of us! Mom isn't
>>> dead so shut up.
>>>
>>> No wonder she left me the house. I'll never forget the insensitivity.
>>> Divvying up her belongings as if she wasn't there. Whoa!
>>>
>>> Jill
>>>
>>> ==
>>>
>>> No wonder indeed!!!
>>>
>> I couldn't believe my brothers were so cold and callous. Mom never let
>> on she heard them squabbling on that day but I'm sure she did.
>>
>> Jill
>> ===
>>
>> Yes I don't doubt that she did. It must have hurt her dreadfully.
>>
>> She knew what she was doing when she left her house to you!
>>
>> Did you get any kick back from the brothers??
>>
> Of course not. I gave them the furnishings they asked for. I split the
> money with them. I wound up paying the taxes on an annuity she had
> which I split with them.
>
> Jill
>
> ==
>
> Yes, I remember I am sure they were still not best pleased
>
Of course they weren't. Didn't matter. They got lots of money but made
things very difficult for me. Our mother would not have been at all
pleased.

Jill

==

I know, but at least your conscience is clear. Well done.

On Tuesday, June 19, 2018 at 10:17:46 PM UTC-10, Ophelia wrote:
> ==
>
> Yes I did. Now? Not sure.

That sounds reasonable. At least you're not vehemently anti-religious. Those guys make me nervous.

On Wednesday, June 20, 2018 at 7:34:46 AM UTC-10, Ophelia wrote:
>
> Yes I don't doubt that she did. It must have hurt her dreadfully.
>
> She knew what she was doing when she left her house to you!
>
> Did you get any kick back from the brothers??

My mother-in-law wanted to leave her condo to my wife but she convinced her to leave the place to all the kids. All her brothers and sister assumed she was going to get the property since she had taken care of their mom and dad for 20 years. In the end, the property was sold and the monies distributed to everybody - including her mom's kids in Korea. I'm proud of her for doing that.

On Wed, 20 Jun 2018 15:58:19 -0700 (PDT), dsi1 >
wrote:

>On Wednesday, June 20, 2018 at 7:34:46 AM UTC-10, Ophelia wrote:
>>
>> Yes I don't doubt that she did. It must have hurt her dreadfully.
>>
>> She knew what she was doing when she left her house to you!
>>
>> Did you get any kick back from the brothers??
>
>My mother-in-law wanted to leave her condo to my wife but she convinced her to leave the place to all the kids. All her brothers and sister assumed she was going to get the property since she had taken care of their mom and dad for 20 years. In the end, the property was sold and the monies distributed to everybody - including her mom's kids in Korea. I'm proud of her for doing that.

But now you have to buy $1 McDonalds lunches every day.

On Wednesday, June 20, 2018 at 12:09:27 AM UTC-10, Cindy Hamilton wrote:
>
> You sparked my never-ending curiosity about the world. Here's its etymology:
>
> From Middle English messe, from Old English mæsse and Old French messe, both from Late Latin missa, from Latin mittÅ� (€œto send, dismiss€�), compare French messe. In the ancient churches, the public services at which the catechumens were permitted to be present were called missa catechumenorum, ending with the reading of the Gospel. Then they were dismissed with the words: "Ite, missa est", the congregation is dismissed. After that the sacrifice proper began. At its close the same words were said to those who remained. So the word gave the name of Mass to the sacrifice in the Catholic Church. Compare Christmas, Lammas, Mess a dish, Missal. Doublet of missa.
>
> Cindy Hamilton

In the modern day, "mass" can also be used to mean something of importance, substance, or high-quality, in addition to meaning "ponderous."

In article >,
Cindy Hamilton > wrote:


> Even if I'd been raised Catholic, Vatican II took place when
> I was 5 years old.

I have a older friend who rejected Vatican II and maintained his faith
through <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Society_of_Saint_Pius_X>.

leo

"dsi1" wrote in message
...

On Tuesday, June 19, 2018 at 10:17:46 PM UTC-10, Ophelia wrote:
> ==
>
> Yes I did. Now? Not sure.

That sounds reasonable. At least you're not vehemently anti-religious. Those
guys make me nervous.

==

I keep thinking I will go back sometime. We'll see.

"dsi1" wrote in message
...

On Wednesday, June 20, 2018 at 7:34:46 AM UTC-10, Ophelia wrote:
>
> Yes I don't doubt that she did. It must have hurt her dreadfully.
>
> She knew what she was doing when she left her house to you!
>
> Did you get any kick back from the brothers??

My mother-in-law wanted to leave her condo to my wife but she convinced her
to leave the place to all the kids. All her brothers and sister assumed she
was going to get the property since she had taken care of their mom and dad
for 20 years. In the end, the property was sold and the monies distributed
to everybody - including her mom's kids in Korea. I'm proud of her for doing
that.

==

Oh Yes! Kind hearted and wonderful lady You have every reason to be
proud

On 6/18/2018 7:37 PM, Wayne Boatwright wrote:
> On Mon 18 Jun 2018 12:37:51p, Ophelia told us...
>
>>
>>
>> "Ed Pawlowski" wrote in message
>> ...
>>
>> On 6/18/2018 12:56 PM, jmcquown wrote:
>>
>>>
>>> I don't really understand why anyone should be asked to view dead
>>> people, either. If you're going to have a casket at least have
>>> the courtesy of closing the lid. Really don't want to see that.
>>>
>>> The friend who died had a younger sister (Ginger was 18, Connie
>>> was 15). I went to school with and knew both of them. Connie
>>> hugged me as I entered the chapel and there was an overwhelming
>>> scent of gardenia perfume. Influence of a grandmother, no doubt.
>>> She'd been crying. I had NO idea what to say. I'm sorry. I
>>> really was, but I was extremely uncomfortable. I do not know what
>>> to say to someone in these situations. It's not that I'm
>>> unsympathetic. It's just, I was 17 years old. Sorry for your
>>> loss is about it.
>>
>> My first funerals were at a much younger age. By the time I was
>> 15 I was a pallbearer too. While I consider it to be an honoer to
>> be asked, there are better ways.
>>
>> We do, as a society, have some strange rituals. Not only do we
>> view the body of loved ones, often it is a person we never saw
>> before, a grandparent of a close friend, etc. You are really
>> giving support to that person by being there.
>>
>> I've said it before, no funerals for us. Cremation and gone,
>> simple and quick. Spend time with that person now when they can
>> appreciate your company.
>>
>> ===
>>
>> When I was about 5 yo, my aunt died and I was taken in to see her.
>> In those days, the body was in its coffin in the front room,
>> surrounded by flowers and candles.
>>
>>
>>
>
> As was my grandfather's.
>
Our church does not have a viewing of the body. We have a memorial
service instead of the traditional funeral, followed by a reception
where a meal is served and family and friends have time to get together
and share memories. I find that preferable to services that have a
viewing of the body.

MaryL

"MaryL" wrote in message ...

On 6/18/2018 7:37 PM, Wayne Boatwright wrote:
> On Mon 18 Jun 2018 12:37:51p, Ophelia told us...
>
>>
>>
>> "Ed Pawlowski" wrote in message
>> ...
>>
>> On 6/18/2018 12:56 PM, jmcquown wrote:
>>
>>>
>>> I don't really understand why anyone should be asked to view dead
>>> people, either. If you're going to have a casket at least have
>>> the courtesy of closing the lid. Really don't want to see that.
>>>
>>> The friend who died had a younger sister (Ginger was 18, Connie
>>> was 15). I went to school with and knew both of them. Connie
>>> hugged me as I entered the chapel and there was an overwhelming
>>> scent of gardenia perfume. Influence of a grandmother, no doubt.
>>> She'd been crying. I had NO idea what to say. I'm sorry. I
>>> really was, but I was extremely uncomfortable. I do not know what
>>> to say to someone in these situations. It's not that I'm
>>> unsympathetic. It's just, I was 17 years old. Sorry for your
>>> loss is about it.
>>
>> My first funerals were at a much younger age. By the time I was
>> 15 I was a pallbearer too. While I consider it to be an honoer to
>> be asked, there are better ways.
>>
>> We do, as a society, have some strange rituals. Not only do we
>> view the body of loved ones, often it is a person we never saw
>> before, a grandparent of a close friend, etc. You are really
>> giving support to that person by being there.
>>
>> I've said it before, no funerals for us. Cremation and gone,
>> simple and quick. Spend time with that person now when they can
>> appreciate your company.
>>
>> ===
>>
>> When I was about 5 yo, my aunt died and I was taken in to see her.
>> In those days, the body was in its coffin in the front room,
>> surrounded by flowers and candles.
>>
>>
>>
>
> As was my grandfather's.
>
Our church does not have a viewing of the body. We have a memorial
service instead of the traditional funeral, followed by a reception
where a meal is served and family and friends have time to get together
and share memories. I find that preferable to services that have a
viewing of the body.

MaryL

==

I agree, wholeheartedly!

On Thursday, June 21, 2018 at 1:40:42 AM UTC-5, MaryL wrote:
>
> Our church does not have a viewing of the body. We have a memorial
> service instead of the traditional funeral, followed by a reception
> where a meal is served and family and friends have time to get together
> and share memories. I find that preferable to services that have a
> viewing of the body.
>
> MaryL
>
>
Your church makes the decision of whether the body is viewed or not??????

On Thursday, June 21, 2018 at 1:20:31 PM UTC-4, wrote:
> On Thursday, June 21, 2018 at 1:40:42 AM UTC-5, MaryL wrote:
> >
> > Our church does not have a viewing of the body. We have a memorial
> > service instead of the traditional funeral, followed by a reception
> > where a meal is served and family and friends have time to get together
> > and share memories. I find that preferable to services that have a
> > viewing of the body.
> >
> > MaryL
> >
> >
> Your church makes the decision of whether the body is viewed or not??????

Perhaps they have no space that would be appropriate.

Cindy Hamilton

On Wednesday, June 20, 2018 at 8:35:02 PM UTC-10, Ophelia wrote:
>
> ==
>
> I keep thinking I will go back sometime. We'll see.

As one gets older, hesitation could be considered a luxury that's hardly affordable. Well that's the way it seems to me.

dsi1 wrote:
>Ophelia wrote:
>>
>> I keep thinking I will go back sometime. We'll see.
>
>As one gets older, hesitation could be considered a luxury that's hardly affordable.
>Well that's the way it seems to me.

The obverse is youth is wasted on the young.
The first thing I noticed when I retired was that people I knew that
were my age began dying at the speed of light... after ten years very
few of the friends I grew up with are still breathing (less than the
fingers on one hand). I subscribed to the company newspaper where I
worked for more than 25 years published by the company and each month
when I receive it via snailmail the obit lists people I knew.
https://www.bnl.gov/bnlweb/pubaf/bulletin/obit/
I'm actually surprised I'm still here... but unfortunately for my RFC
haters I'm in pretty good shape for an old man. I spent four hours
this morning digging up a dead tree that I had planted in the
wildflower meadow 15 years ago... a Yellowwood that was always
struggling, was time for replacement. It was 90ºF and what I had
thought would be an easy job turned out to be much more difficult.
In this heat the meadow turned into adobe and a shovel was of no use.
I used a towing strap with my big tractor and still it was difficult,
I needed to yank it from several sides and use a bow saw to cut its
roots. Finally I got it loose but along with a large piece of turf.
I'll need to push that back once I have the snow plow attached come
fall... I'm talking a piece of turf that has to weigh about a ton.
This was a normal day for me, there are mostly muscle jobs I need to
do here. I truly believe that the choice to live here has kept us
both young, my wife is in full agreement. I know too many people who
retired and moved to a Florida condo and never made a year because all
they did is look out their window and pig out at cheapo eateries. My
wife played 18 holes today but she's on of the few who walks the
course. She arrived home as I got out of the shower and gave me a
perk up.

On Thu, 21 Jun 2018 18:08:01 -0400, wrote:

>The obverse is youth is wasted on the young.
>The first thing I noticed when I retired was that people I knew that
>were my age began dying at the speed of light... after ten years very
>few of the friends I grew up with are still breathing (less than the
>fingers on one hand). I subscribed to the company newspaper where I
>worked for more than 25 years published by the company and each month
>when I receive it via snailmail the obit lists people I knew.
>https://www.bnl.gov/bnlweb/pubaf/bulletin/obit/
>I'm actually surprised I'm still here... but unfortunately for my RFC
>haters I'm in pretty good shape for an old man. I spent four hours
>this morning digging up a dead tree that I had planted in the
>wildflower meadow 15 years ago

Why did you plant a dead tree?

>... a Yellowwood that was always
>struggling, was time for replacement. It was 90ºF and what I had
>thought would be an easy job turned out to be much more difficult.
>In this heat the meadow turned into adobe and a shovel was of no use.
>I used a towing strap with my big tractor and still it was difficult,
>I needed to yank it from several sides and use a bow saw to cut its
>roots. Finally I got it loose but along with a large piece of turf.
>I'll need to push that back once I have the snow plow attached come
>fall... I'm talking a piece of turf that has to weigh about a ton.
>This was a normal day for me, there are mostly muscle jobs I need to
>do here. I truly believe that the choice to live here has kept us
>both young, my wife is in full agreement. I know too many people who
>retired and moved to a Florida condo and never made a year because all
>they did is look out their window and pig out at cheapo eateries.

Where they order cooked food wholesale and only heat it up and plate
it. Chez Ed.

>My
>wife played 18 holes today but she's on of the few who walks the
>course. She arrived home as I got out of the shower and gave me a
>perk up.

We don't need to know.

On 6/21/2018 12:20 PM, wrote:
> On Thursday, June 21, 2018 at 1:40:42 AM UTC-5, MaryL wrote:
>>
>> Our church does not have a viewing of the body. We have a memorial
>> service instead of the traditional funeral, followed by a reception
>> where a meal is served and family and friends have time to get together
>> and share memories. I find that preferable to services that have a
>> viewing of the body.
>>
>> MaryL
>>
>>
> Your church makes the decision of whether the body is viewed or not??????
>
Yes, that is protocol in our church. Families who want a viewing of the
body can have "calling hours" the day before in a local funeral home.

MaryL

"dsi1" wrote in message
...

On Wednesday, June 20, 2018 at 8:35:02 PM UTC-10, Ophelia wrote:
>
> ==
>
> I keep thinking I will go back sometime. We'll see.

As one gets older, hesitation could be considered a luxury that's hardly
affordable. Well that's the way it seems to me.

==

Good point!

Bruce wrote:
> On Thu, 21 Jun 2018 18:08:01 -0400, wrote:
>
>> The obverse is youth is wasted on the young.
>> The first thing I noticed when I retired was that people I knew that
>> were my age began dying at the speed of light... after ten years very
>> few of the friends I grew up with are still breathing (less than the
>> fingers on one hand). I subscribed to the company newspaper where I
>> worked for more than 25 years published by the company and each month
>> when I receive it via snailmail the obit lists people I knew.
>> https://www.bnl.gov/bnlweb/pubaf/bulletin/obit/
>> I'm actually surprised I'm still here... but unfortunately for my RFC
>> haters I'm in pretty good shape for an old man. I spent four hours
>> this morning digging up a dead tree that I had planted in the
>> wildflower meadow 15 years ago
>
> Why did you plant a dead tree?
>
>> ... a Yellowwood that was always
>> struggling, was time for replacement. It was 90ºF and what I had
>> thought would be an easy job turned out to be much more difficult.
>> In this heat the meadow turned into adobe and a shovel was of no use.
>> I used a towing strap with my big tractor and still it was difficult,
>> I needed to yank it from several sides and use a bow saw to cut its
>> roots. Finally I got it loose but along with a large piece of turf.
>> I'll need to push that back once I have the snow plow attached come
>> fall... I'm talking a piece of turf that has to weigh about a ton.
>> This was a normal day for me, there are mostly muscle jobs I need to
>> do here. I truly believe that the choice to live here has kept us
>> both young, my wife is in full agreement. I know too many people who
>> retired and moved to a Florida condo and never made a year because all
>> they did is look out their window and pig out at cheapo eateries.
>
> Where they order cooked food wholesale and only heat it up and plate
> it. Chez Ed.
>
>> My
>> wife played 18 holes today but she's on of the few who walks the
>> course. She arrived home as I got out of the shower and gave me a
>> perk up.
>
> We don't need to know.
>

I think a perk up is when she pokes Popeye with her long, thick,
leathery nipples.

On Fri, 22 Jun 2018 15:49:18 -0500, Hank Rogers >
wrote:

>Bruce wrote:
>> On Thu, 21 Jun 2018 18:08:01 -0400, wrote:
>>
>>> My wife played 18 holes today but she's on of the few who walks the
>>> course. She arrived home as I got out of the shower and gave me a
>>> perk up.
>>
>> We don't need to know.
>>
>I think a perk up is when she pokes Popeye with her long, thick,
>leathery nipples.

Careful, he might go into detail.

Bruce wrote:
> On Fri, 22 Jun 2018 15:49:18 -0500, Hank Rogers >
> wrote:
>
>> Bruce wrote:
>>> On Thu, 21 Jun 2018 18:08:01 -0400, wrote:
>>>
>>>> My wife played 18 holes today but she's on of the few who walks the
>>>> course. She arrived home as I got out of the shower and gave me a
>>>> perk up.
>>>
>>> We don't need to know.
>>>
>> I think a perk up is when she pokes Popeye with her long, thick,
>> leathery nipples.
>
> Careful, he might go into detail.
>

Well, it's about time for him to give us one of his many raunchy sex
stories anyway. It's due anytime now.

On 6/20/2018 2:34 PM, jmcquown wrote:
> On 6/20/2018 3:19 PM, Ophelia wrote:
>>
>>
>> "jmcquown"* wrote in message ...
>>
>> On 6/20/2018 1:34 PM, Ophelia wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>> "jmcquown"* wrote in message ...
>>>
>>> On 6/20/2018 12:18 PM, Ophelia wrote:
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> "jmcquown"* wrote in message ...
>>>>
>>>> On 6/18/2018 7:59 PM, Cheri wrote:
>>>>> "Dave Smith" > wrote in message
>>>>> ...
>>>>>> On 2018-06-18 2:10 PM, Cheri wrote:
>>>>>>> Fortunately in these later years everyone I knew and loved chose
>>>>>>> to be
>>>>>>> cremated, I don't do open caskets or body viewing. As my dear friend
>>>>>>> said when people got on her for not having a body viewing before
>>>>>>> cremation of her husband..."You should have viewed the body while it
>>>>>>> was
>>>>>>> alive." I always loved that.
>>>>>>>
>>>> I love it too!
>>>>
>>>> (snippage)
>>>>>>
>>>>>> There was a brother in the picture.* She had not seen the guy for
>>>>>> about
>>>>>> 20 years, and he had been estranged from the father for longer than
>>>>>> that.
>>>> (snip)
>>>>
>>>>>> When the derelict brother finally got to the funeral home he was
>>>>>> upset
>>>>>> about plans for cremation.* Well, too bad for him. The father had
>>>>>> wanted
>>>>>> to be cremated and had prepaid everything so the plans could not be
>>>>>> changed to accommodate the son who had not seen his father for
>>>>>> decades.
>>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Don't you just love it when these people show up out of nowhere and
>>>>> want
>>>>> to change everything to suit themselves? Geez, here's a bus ticket
>>>>> back
>>>>> to
>>>>> where you came from.
>>>>>
>>>>> Cheri
>>>>
>>>> My brothers didn't appear out of nowhere but I did have to reschedule
>>>> our father's funeral.* Mom had already made the cremation arrangements
>>>> prior to his death.* He was cremated but the urn was to be interred at
>>>> the Beaufort National Cemetery, a service with full military honors.
>>>> They only hold those services on specific days with a contigent of
>>>> Marines from Parris Island.* The arrangements were made and I called to
>>>> inform my brothers.* Greedy middle brother informed me, "Oh! I can't
>>>> make it on that day, I have [business] meetings! You'll have to
>>>> reschedule."
>>>>
>>>> As if his employer wouldn't understand his father had just died.
>>>> Needless to say this was very upsetting to Mom.
>>>>
>>>> Of course one of the first things my greedy middle brother did when he
>>>> arrived was read Dad's Will to find out who was getting what.* Of
>>>> course
>>>> *Mom* inherits everything, you idiot.
>>>>
>>>> Middle-bro was named as the Executor in Dad's Will but much to his
>>>> surprise that didn't mean he was in charge of the bank accounts.* Gee,
>>>> they're still Mom's accounts.* Get the feeling I'm going somewhere with
>>>> this? LOL
>>>>
>>>> He didn't even perform the duties of the Executor.* He went back to
>>>> wherever, to his business meetings.
>>>>
>>>> Meanwhile, Mom gave me Power of Attorney.* I'm the one who was here and
>>>> made sure everything transferred smoothly to her name even though
>>>> everything was held jointly between them.* There's a *ton* of paperwork
>>>> and no joy in it.* I found insurance policies (dating back to the
>>>> 1950's) to be tracked down and verified.* Most lapsed or cancelled or
>>>> couldn't figure out which company gobbled up which company through the
>>>> years.* Dealing with the government, transfer of his military pension.
>>>>
>>>> My brother the wanna-be Executor seemed to think it was an honorary
>>>> title with automatic keys to the kingdom (bank accounts).* Nope.* Mom
>>>> gets first dibs on *their* money and all that.* Surprise!
>>>>
>>>> After Dad's service, middle brother and oldest brother were walking
>>>> around the house, arguing (rather loudly) over the things they'd
>>>> like to
>>>> have.* OMG, cut it out!* None of this belongs to any of us!* Mom isn't
>>>> dead so shut up.
>>>>
>>>> No wonder she left me the house.* I'll never forget the insensitivity.
>>>> Divvying up her belongings as if she wasn't there.* Whoa!
>>>>
>>>> Jill
>>>>
>>>> ==
>>>>
>>>> No wonder indeed!!!
>>>>
>>> I couldn't believe my brothers were so cold and callous.* Mom never let
>>> on she heard them squabbling on that day but I'm sure she did.
>>>
>>> Jill
>>> ===
>>>
>>> Yes I don't doubt that she did.* It must have hurt her dreadfully.
>>>
>>> She knew what she was doing when she left her house to you!
>>>
>>> Did you get any kick back from the brothers??
>>>
>> Of course not.* I gave them the furnishings they asked for.* I split the
>> money with them.* I wound up paying the taxes on an annuity she had
>> which I split with them.
>>
>> Jill
>>
>> ==
>>
>> Yes, I remember* I am sure they were still not best pleased
>>
> Of course they weren't.* Didn't matter.* They got lots of money but made
> things very difficult for me.* Our mother would not have been at all
> pleased.
>
> Jill

I was more fortunate than you. My mother's funds were very limited, but
I had control because I was her caretaker. I made arrangements to split
everything equally with my brother and sister after my mother died.
They told me they wanted me to take extra money because of all the time
and work I spent. I accepted only $500 because I did not take care of
my mother for pay. Both of them have thanked me many times and neither
have ever questioned any decisions I made when she was alive.

MaryL