"Bob (this one)" >, if that's their real name, wrote:

>Damsel in dis Dress wrote:
>
>> Crash and I are actually VERY informal. When we belch and say, "Excuse
>> me," the non-belcher reassures the belcher, "That's okay, you'll do better
>> next time." A really GOOD belch yields this comment, "Very ladylike."
>>
>> Carol ::burp::
>
>Yep. In our house, we say "God bless you."

ROFL! I'm gonna have to remember that the next time Crash releases excess
gas from his oral cavity.

Carol

--
Coming at you live, from beautiful Lake Woebegon

Sam Houston the founder of Houston Texas, was once at a 19th century
dinner party in Washington D.C. When the soup course was served, it was
very hot, and Houston spat his first mouthful out on the tablecloth. He
then turned to the lady on his right, who was predictably aghast and
said "If I were a damn fool, I'd have swallowed that!"

Melissa

Damsel in dis Dress wrote:

>
>> My mother was always one for reserved proper etiquette at the table, and
>>IMHO, it has been the deal-maker in many instances.
>
>
> We had a plate, paper napkin, and properly placed knife, fork, and spoon,
> even if we were just having tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich. And
> if you improperly reached for something, she'd stab the back of your hand
> with a fork. Emily Post, eat your heart out!

My father always insisted on a properly set table
(cloth or mat, fork/knife/spoon, S&P, wine
glass..) and one of the saddest things I
witnessed after my mother died was watching him
set the table for just himself. I guess it was
somewhat of a ritual because he just couldn't
(didn't want to) relax his standards. He just
wasn't really used to dining alone, I think that
is one reason why he married again sort of quickly.
Goomba

Goomba38 >, if that's their real name, wrote:

>My father always insisted on a properly set table
>(cloth or mat, fork/knife/spoon, S&P, wine
>glass..) and one of the saddest things I
>witnessed after my mother died was watching him
>set the table for just himself. I guess it was
>somewhat of a ritual because he just couldn't
>(didn't want to) relax his standards. He just
>wasn't really used to dining alone, I think that
>is one reason why he married again sort of quickly.

My dad never did remarry. He had two "lady friends." One of them
pressured him to marry her. He told her, "I'm already married." When Dad
passed, his obituary read that he had been reunited with his wife.

Carol

--
Coming at you live, from beautiful Lake Woebegon

Far as I can tell, someone wrote:
>no feet on the table when the food arrives,

Yikes! Up until the food arrives it's okay?

When I was a kid at camp we would sing a tune whenever one of the councilors leaned
his/her elbows on the table.

"Get your elbows off the table Uncle Bill (or whomever)
(Repeat.)
We have seen you do it twice and it isn't very nice.
Get your elbows off the table Uncle Bill.
Stand up, stand up, we won't shut up 'til you stand up.
(repeat until the red-faced offending adult stands, then applaud.

Having 120 eight year olds teach you manners was humiliating, to say the least.

Seriously, perhaps a strongly worded anonymous letter will do the trick.

Dear Joe,
You're a nice guy, and lots of people like you, buy you have a VERY annoying habit.
You slouch when eating. You lean on your elbows and it bothers everyone.
Grow up and knock it off.
signed,

Your friend,
Well, lots of your friends who don't want to embarrass you.

Far as I can tell, someone wrote:
>EVERYBODY should move their chair as far back as possible,
>then adopt exactly the posture and mannerisms of the offender.

Miss Manners, move it on over. Bob is now da man.

Far as I can tell, someone wrote:
> Story goes that Queen Victoria was hosting a political state dinner with
>the Raj of some large Indian state.
> He picked up the finger bowl (scented with floating rose petals) and
>proceeded to drink out of it, much to the chagrin of the aghast guests.

The way I heard it, the Queen sliced off a few tiny bits of beef and forked them onto
her bread palte, so everyone, while stunned, followed suit. She then placed it on
the floor for her little dog. and I'll bet she laughed her ass off that evening...

Far as I can tell, someone wrote:
>I guess it was
>somewhat of a ritual because he just couldn't
>(didn't want to) relax his standards.

And because he was a true gentleman.
We can learn from people like him.

Far as I can tell, someone wrote:
>The host, a student, poured the tea, and then opened a milk
>bottle, and before passing it to the guest, took a big swig directly
>from it!

>I was always taught, from a young age, not to drink straight from the
>bottle, but apparently not everyone is taught this.

That's not a training issue. That's just disgusting.

Goomba38 > wrote in news:uKOdnbfTJrOJndvfRVn-
:

> one of the saddest things I
> witnessed after my mother died was watching him
> set the table for just himself.

Goomba,

After my Mom passed, I remember meals with Pop. He was similar to your
Pop.

His finest request was to have those giant kosher dinner hotdogs with
sauerkraut, for breakfast! We really had fun with that. It became a
breakfast ritual, akin to Sunday pancakes. Warms my heart to recall that
memory. I buried him a year later.

And we too shall follow,

Andy

In > Damsel in dis Dress
wrote:
> Wayne Boatwright >, if that's their real name,
> wrote:
>
>>On Sat 26 Mar 2005 10:48:59a, Damsel in dis Dress wrote in
>>rec.food.cooking:
>>
>>> Crash and I are actually VERY informal. When we belch and say,
>>> "Excuse me," the non-belcher reassures the belcher, "That's okay,
>>> you'll do better next time." A really GOOD belch yields this
>>> comment, "Very ladylike." Carol ::burp::
>>
>>This lady has class!
>
> Which is why you married me. Wait! That was supposed to be a secret.
> Sorry, Dumplin'.

Dumplin'? Now that's romantic! Hmmmm, haven't had dumplings in a long
time...


--
Cheers

Dennis

Remove 'Elle-Kabong' to reply

On Sat 26 Mar 2005 11:02:57a, Damsel in dis Dress wrote in
rec.food.cooking:

> Wayne Boatwright >, if that's their real name,
> wrote:
>
>>On Sat 26 Mar 2005 10:48:59a, Damsel in dis Dress wrote in
>>rec.food.cooking:
>>
>>> Crash and I are actually VERY informal. When we belch and say, "Excuse
>>> me," the non-belcher reassures the belcher, "That's okay, you'll do
>>> better next time." A really GOOD belch yields this comment, "Very
>>> ladylike."
>>>
>>> Carol ::burp::
>>
>>This lady has class!
>
> Which is why you married me. Wait! That was supposed to be a secret.
> Sorry, Dumplin'.
>
> Carol
>

Now we're going to have to move to Utah!

--
Wayne Boatwright
____________________________________________

Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day.
Sam Goldwyn, 1882-1974

Or Colorado City, AZ?

Remember GOD told you that you needed another wife!

SMILE!!

Bart D. Hull

Tempe, Arizona

Check http://www.inficad.com/~bdhull/engine.html
for my Subaru Engine Conversion
Check http://www.inficad.com/~bdhull/fuselage.html
for Tango II I'm building.

Remove -nospam to reply via email.

Wayne Boatwright wrote:
> On Sat 26 Mar 2005 11:02:57a, Damsel in dis Dress wrote in
> rec.food.cooking:
>
>
>>Wayne Boatwright >, if that's their real name,
>>wrote:
>>
>>
>>>On Sat 26 Mar 2005 10:48:59a, Damsel in dis Dress wrote in
>>>rec.food.cooking:
>>>
>>>
>>>>Crash and I are actually VERY informal. When we belch and say, "Excuse
>>>>me," the non-belcher reassures the belcher, "That's okay, you'll do
>>>>better next time." A really GOOD belch yields this comment, "Very
>>>>ladylike."
>>>>
>>>>Carol ::burp::
>>>
>>>This lady has class!
>>
>>Which is why you married me. Wait! That was supposed to be a secret.
>>Sorry, Dumplin'.
>>
>>Carol
>>
>
>
> Now we're going to have to move to Utah!
>

Wayne Boatwright >, if that's their real name,
wrote:

>Now we're going to have to move to Utah!

Salt Water Taffy! YAY!

Carol

--
Coming at you live, from beautiful Lake Woebegon

On Sat 26 Mar 2005 11:34:12p, Damsel in dis Dress wrote in rec.food.cooking:

> Wayne Boatwright >, if that's their real name,
> wrote:
>
>>Now we're going to have to move to Utah!
>
> Salt Water Taffy! YAY!
>
> Carol
>

Now you've done it! It's not quite time for me to order my annual pre-summer
supply of Fralinger's and Jame's salt water taffies from New Jersey. I want
it now! I usually order 5 pounds of each brand. When I lived in OH I
ordered it in the summer. If I did that here, it would arrive as very pretty
puddles of goo.

--
Wayne Boatwright
____________________________________________

Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day.
Sam Goldwyn, 1882-1974

On Sat 26 Mar 2005 11:34:12p, Damsel in dis Dress wrote in rec.food.cooking:

> Wayne Boatwright >, if that's their real name,
> wrote:
>
>>Now we're going to have to move to Utah!
>
> Salt Water Taffy! YAY!
>
> Carol
>

What are you doing up? You should be in bed!

--
Wayne Boatwright
____________________________________________

Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day.
Sam Goldwyn, 1882-1974

Wayne Boatwright >, if that's their real name,
wrote:

>On Sat 26 Mar 2005 11:34:12p, Damsel in dis Dress wrote in rec.food.cooking:
>
>> Wayne Boatwright >, if that's their real name,
>> wrote:
>>
>>>Now we're going to have to move to Utah!
>>
>> Salt Water Taffy! YAY!
>
>What are you doing up? You should be in bed!

I'm waiting for you, love muffin.

Smoooootch!
Carol

--
Coming at you live, from beautiful Lake Woebegon

David Hare-Scott wrote:
> I am assuming that everybody has some sort of standard of table
manners.
[snip]
> I don't see myself as a manners Nazi.
>
> I now have the case where a person who comes to my house to dine
makes me
> cringe.

I see a couple of possibilities:

1) Who is closest (relationship-wise) to this guest? Doesn't sound
like you're the one inviting him over. Have that person say a few
words, tactfully and privately. I don't think it is your place to say
anything - unless you are very good friends already.

2) Have someone (much) older say something - again, tactfully and
privately - to the guest. It may go down a little easier in that
context.

You know this could fall out a few ways. The person could be
shocked/horrified/embarrassed to find out that he has bad table
manners. He may laugh and not care (and not change). Also, keep in
mind that it is harder to break habits as an adult. He may be angry or
irritated - or worse yet, be a grudge-holder, long term resentful, etc.
So tread carefully, since it seems you will have a long relationship
together.

I used to work with someone (from a different country) who chewed
loudly and spoke with his mouth full. He was older than me, higher
ranked job-wise, and a super-nice, really smart and generous guy. I
never said a word about it, just tried to sit at the far end of the
table (we usually ate in groups). Sometimes my sister will talk with
her mouth full, and I will tell her as kindly as possible that I am
happy to wait to hear her news until she has finished her bite of food.
She forgets that she is doing it and always seems to appreciate the
reminder. Ditto for one of my friends who tends to eat while we are on
the phone together.

Let us know how it turns out!
June

wrote:
> I used to work with someone (from a different country) who chewed
> loudly and spoke with his mouth full. He was older than me, higher
> ranked job-wise, and a super-nice, really smart and generous guy. I
> never said a word about it, just tried to sit at the far end of the
> table (we usually ate in groups). Sometimes my sister will talk with
> her mouth full, and I will tell her as kindly as possible that I am
> happy to wait to hear her news until she has finished her bite of
food.
> She forgets that she is doing it and always seems to appreciate the
> reminder. Ditto for one of my friends who tends to eat while we are
on
> the phone together.

Eating while on the phone is nothing... I know someone who makes his
phone calls while he's on the throne... multi-tasking!

Sheldon (detests the clods who phone while driving to break their
boredom)

" wrote:

>
> > I now have the case where a person who comes to my house to dine
> makes me
> > cringe.
>
> I see a couple of possibilities:
>
> 1) Who is closest (relationship-wise) to this guest? Doesn't sound
> like you're the one inviting him over. Have that person say a few
> words, tactfully and privately. I don't think it is your place to say
> anything - unless you are very good friends already.

I had to do that sort of thing to someone once. The guy has a habit of
saying and doing things that really ****ed people off to the point where
people would ask us not to bring him along or tell him about dinners,
parties etc. When he found out about a dinner party he suggested he would
invite himself along and had to tell him that he was not welcome because he
didn't know how to behave. He was a little upset, but not enough to
improve his behaviour.

A few years ago he moved a long way away, but close to an old mutual friend
who dreaded his arrival. The last time I talked to the mutual friend he
told me the guy had actually cleaned up his act. They had a long talk one
night and said he said that he realized that he didn't have many friends
and the friends he did have didn't want much to do with him.

"Sheldon" > wrote in message
oups.com...
>
> wrote:
>> I used to work with someone (from a different country) who chewed
>> loudly and spoke with his mouth full. He was older than me, higher
>> ranked job-wise, and a super-nice, really smart and generous guy. I
>> never said a word about it, just tried to sit at the far end of the
>> table (we usually ate in groups). Sometimes my sister will talk with
>> her mouth full, and I will tell her as kindly as possible that I am
>> happy to wait to hear her news until she has finished her bite of
> food.
>> She forgets that she is doing it and always seems to appreciate the
>> reminder. Ditto for one of my friends who tends to eat while we are
> on
>> the phone together.
>
> Eating while on the phone is nothing... I know someone who makes his
> phone calls while he's on the throne... multi-tasking!
>
> Sheldon (detests the clods who phone while driving to break their
> boredom)

Well that last is illegal in UK

Sheldon wrote:

> Sheldon (detests the clods who phone while driving to break their
> boredom)

You should do what I do. When I see someone talking on the phone while
driving I develop zero tolerance for any driving errors and give them a
long blast on the horn. Most of them are so distracted from their driving
that I could probably do it even f they had not done anything wrong and
they wouldn't know if they had or not.

Dave Smith wrote:

> A few years ago he moved a long way away, but close to an old mutual friend
> who dreaded his arrival. The last time I talked to the mutual friend he
> told me the guy had actually cleaned up his act. They had a long talk one
> night and said he said that he realized that he didn't have many friends
> and the friends he did have didn't want much to do with him.
>
I once **really** upset my ex husband, a man prone to conformity, by
telling off a man at a potluck, who was mouthing off and saying "all
homeless people ought to be taken out and shot". I calmly replied "The
problem with that, Kenny, is the next group of people they'll take out
in shoot and men in big pickup trucks whose pants are too tight." It
broke the party up right away, but I found out everyone hated him to
come to parties because of his mouth. Later, we became very fond of each
other. He admitted he is poor at editing what comes out of his mouth,
and I found out he'd taken in a pair of step kids and been really good
to them, etc etc. He and I found out we both tend to speak our mind, and
he didn't mind what I'd said, even though it took him several meetings
before he no longer avoided me with an alarmed look in his eye. I wonder
how often someone had stood up to him without falling to his level of
loud generalizations.
Years later, he wept in my arms when his 40 year old wife died. I
believe my confrontation of him made us closer.
On the other hand, people have been shot over less.
blacksalt

wrote:
> David Hare-Scott wrote:
>> I am assuming that everybody has some sort of standard of table
> manners.
> [snip]
>> I don't see myself as a manners Nazi.
>>
>> I now have the case where a person who comes to my house to dine
>> makes me cringe.
>
(snippage)
> I used to work with someone (from a different country) who chewed
> loudly and spoke with his mouth full.
> June

I worked with someone (not from a different country) who would take a huge
bite of food and then start talking. Drove me nuts. I'd look anywhere
except at her because I really don't want to see her mouth full of food.
She is perfectly proper in every other sense of the word, down to making
sure her slacks (even jeans!) are pressed and never a hair out of place.
But put a plate in front of her and she'll take a bite and then start
talking. EEEEK! But no, I never said anything to her. I don't have to
live with her or watch her eat every day. In fact, when we go out to lunch
these days, I make sure she's sitting beside me so I can look at the other
people across the table instead

Jill

I've got a relative, Jake, who visits often.
Jake is a food "health nut"

No matter what we prepare for meals,
he will talk about the cholesterol, fats, calories,
and why we shouldn't eat this food.

.....all the while, eating with both hands ! ( figuratively )
and seconds....
and thirds...

We chuckle......

"that's Jake ... and we love him"
..



<rj>

"jmcquown" >, if that's their real name, wrote:

>I worked with someone (not from a different country) who would take a huge
>bite of food and then start talking. Drove me nuts. I'd look anywhere
>except at her because I really don't want to see her mouth full of food.
>She is perfectly proper in every other sense of the word, down to making
>sure her slacks (even jeans!) are pressed and never a hair out of place.
>But put a plate in front of her and she'll take a bite and then start
>talking. EEEEK! But no, I never said anything to her. I don't have to
>live with her or watch her eat every day. In fact, when we go out to lunch
>these days, I make sure she's sitting beside me so I can look at the other
>people across the table instead

Now, remember, Wayne says I have class.

I used to work with a woman who always asked what I was eating for lunch,
while I was chewing it. Every day. Every damned, stinkin' day. One day
when she asked, I just opened my mouth and showed her, then walked away.
She never bothered me again.

Carol, the Queen of Couth

--
Coming at you live, from beautiful Lake Woebegon

"Damsel in dis Dress" > wrote in message
> I used to work with a woman who always asked what I was eating for lunch,
> while I was chewing it. Every day. Every damned, stinkin' day. One day
> when she asked, I just opened my mouth and showed her, then walked away.
> She never bothered me again.
>
> Carol, the Queen of Couth

You're my kind of gal!
Ed

"Edwin Pawlowski" >, if that's their real name, wrote:

>"Damsel in dis Dress" > wrote in message
>> I used to work with a woman who always asked what I was eating for lunch,
>> while I was chewing it. Every day. Every damned, stinkin' day. One day
>> when she asked, I just opened my mouth and showed her, then walked away.
>> She never bothered me again.
>>
>> Carol, the Queen of Couth
>
>You're my kind of gal!

I'm sure you're one of a very quickly diminishing list of my fan club
members. <G> It was a cheeseburger.

Carol
--
Coming at you live, from beautiful Lake Woebegon

Damsel in dis Dress > wrote in
:

> "Edwin Pawlowski" >, if that's their real name, wrote:
>
> >"Damsel in dis Dress" > wrote in message
> >> I used to work with a woman who always asked what I was eating
> >> for lunch, while I was chewing it. Every day. Every damned,
> >> stinkin' day. One day when she asked, I just opened my mouth
> >> and showed her, then walked away. She never bothered me again.
> >>
> >> Carol, the Queen of Couth
> >
> >You're my kind of gal!
>
> I'm sure you're one of a very quickly diminishing list of my fan
> club members. <G> It was a cheeseburger.
>
> Carol

Dear Queen Couth:
Is it proper at the dining table; to cross your legs (at the ankle)
when making Bubbles in your milk thru your straw?

Signed Dazed and Confused in Winnipeg

--
No Bread Crumbs were hurt in the making of this Meal.
Type 2 Diabetic 1AC 7.3, 5.5, 5.6 mmol
Continuing to be Manitoban

In > Monsur Fromage du Pollet
wrote:

> Dear Queen Couth:
> Is it proper at the dining table; to cross your legs (at the
> ankle) when making Bubbles in your milk thru your straw?

Of course...but only if you're wearing fishnet nylons and the milk is
chocolate.

> Signed Dazed and Confused in Winnipeg

I love Regina :-)


--
Cheers

Dennis

Remove 'Elle-Kabong' to reply

Monsur Fromage du Pollet >, if that's their real name,
wrote:

>Dear Queen Couth:
> Is it proper at the dining table; to cross your legs (at the ankle)
>when making Bubbles in your milk thru your straw?
>
>Signed Dazed and Confused in Winnipeg

Yes, it is. But it is not necessary to cross one's ankles while blowing
milk bubbles through your nostrils.

Queen Couth
--
Coming at you live, from beautiful Lake Woebegon

Damsel in dis Dress wrote:
> "jmcquown" >, if that's their real name, wrote:
>
>> I worked with someone (not from a different country) who would take
>> a huge bite of food and then start talking. Drove me nuts. I'd
>> look anywhere except at her because I really don't want to see her
>> mouth full of food. She is perfectly proper in every other sense of
>> the word, down to making sure her slacks (even jeans!) are pressed
>> and never a hair out of place. But put a plate in front of her and
>> she'll take a bite and then start talking. EEEEK! But no, I never
>> said anything to her. I don't have to live with her or watch her
>> eat every day. In fact, when we go out to lunch these days, I make
>> sure she's sitting beside me so I can look at the other people
>> across the table instead
>
> Now, remember, Wayne says I have class.
>
> I used to work with a woman who always asked what I was eating for
> lunch, while I was chewing it. Every day. Every damned, stinkin'
> day. One day when she asked, I just opened my mouth and showed her,
> then walked away. She never bothered me again.
>
> Carol, the Queen of Couth

Oh, I had a guy like that at the office, too. Drove me nuts. What did you
bring for lunch? He'd lean over my shoulder to check it out. What, you
never heard of cooking and leftovers before? Go away!

Jill

Damsel in dis Dress wrote:
> Monsur Fromage du Pollet >, if that's their real
> name, wrote:
>
>> Dear Queen Couth:
>> Is it proper at the dining table; to cross your legs (at the
>> ankle) when making Bubbles in your milk thru your straw?
>>
>> Signed Dazed and Confused in Winnipeg
>
> Yes, it is. But it is not necessary to cross one's ankles while
> blowing milk bubbles through your nostrils.
>
> Queen Couth

Ah, I'm just as couth as you are! I was going to suggest only with the
nostrils!

kili

Ginny Sher > wrote:
>This made me cry that I laughed so hard. You have quite a way with
>words...
Ginny, I have been down with the flu for 8 days now, The idea that I
gave you 2 seconds worth of entertainment makes me feel a little
better. Thanks.

"Kilikini" >, if that's their real name, wrote:

>Damsel in dis Dress wrote:
>> Monsur Fromage du Pollet >, if that's their real
>> name, wrote:
>>
>>> Dear Queen Couth:
>>> Is it proper at the dining table; to cross your legs (at the
>>> ankle) when making Bubbles in your milk thru your straw?
>>>
>>> Signed Dazed and Confused in Winnipeg
>>
>> Yes, it is. But it is not necessary to cross one's ankles while
>> blowing milk bubbles through your nostrils.
>>
>> Queen Couth
>
>Ah, I'm just as couth as you are! I was going to suggest only with the
>nostrils!

Rock on!
Carol
--
Coming at you live, from beautiful Lake Woebegon

"aem" wrote
> David Hare-Scott wrote:
>> [snip]
>> I now have the case where a person who comes to my house to dine
>> makes me cringe. So far I have not said or (I hope) indicated
>> anything. I don't feel insulted by them but I would be embarassed
>> if we were in a restaurant.
>
> Don't invite him out with you to a restaurant. In the meantime,
> uncringe yourself. In other words, so far it's just your problem, not
> his.
>
>> The individual concerned clearly does not see that there is anything
>> wrong.
>
> And if you tell him there is, in your opinion, something wrong with his
> behavior, what will he take to be the underlying subtext? Is it, we
> really like you but you may not be aware that your manners put people
> off? Or is it, god I can hardly eat my food watching the spectacle you
> make of yourself! Or is it, you're such a clod in comparison to me
> that I want to urge you to come up to my loftier standard. I'm
> exaggerating, but the point is that people often react strongly and
> negatively to well-meaning criticism. Particularly when they don't
> think there is a problem, as is the case here.
>
>> I don't want to see him embarassed or hurt but I find his style hard
>> to bear.
>
> So bear it anyway, or run the risk of embarassing and hurting him.
>
>> Other members of the family share my disquiet and have remarked on
>> the situation to me. Our relationship with this fellow is likely to
>> be long term so 'grin and bear it' is not an appealing choice.
>
> Why not grin and bear it? I was always taught that tolerance of others
> was an essential component of good manners. You're saying none of your
> other friends have any annoying habits or mannerisms? Which do you
> choose to bring to their attention?
>
>> [snip description] ...it looks really ugly and clumsy to me.
>>
> So what?
>
>> Do you think this style of eating is reasonable for either an
>> informal family dinner or a restaurant?
>
>>From your tone, my guess is that your concept of "informal" and mine
> differ. I want guests at my informal table to enjoy themselves, which
> they won't if I make them uncomfortable. You've already said you'd be
> embarrassed in a restaurant with him.
>>
>> Should (or can) we, the family, try to do something about it? If so
> what?
>>
> If he becomes family, then the closest family member might consider it,
> or if he becomes a really close friend whom you know so well you can
> tailor the message to be effective but not insulting. Until then all
> you've really said is that the way he eats is unusual and you don't
> like it. If you make something of it before you have a close
> relationship with him, you will never get that close.
>
> I would make an exception and consider saying something if the person
> were not an adult or were from another culture but you haven't
> indicated that to be the case. -aem
>

I'm sorry, aem, but I totally disagree. Someone with such horrible eating
manners is a gross-out and destroys the dining experience for everyone in
the neighborhood. Why should one person be allowed to upset dining for
multiple others and on an regular basis? And cultural doesn't come into it
because s/he is dining in a specific location and should at least attempt to
abide by local manners, as those of us who world travel should attempt to
abide by local customs.

Personally, I consider this type of behavior to be a very nasty insult by a
very self-centered, self-absorbed, self-serving ugly person---someone who
should have been hit upside the head a very long time ago. Any person who
had a thought about others would make an attempt to learn how to eat in
public, whatever their background.

Would I continue to invite this jerk to my home to family dinners and
subject my family and friends to his rude behavior? Absolutely not. If
this a career situation where I must entertain this piece of crap in my home
then it would be him, me and my spouse. I would not subject my children and
others I like/love to this kind of abuse, and abuse is what it is.

Pam

Ed Grabau and Pam Jacoby wrote:
>
> I'm sorry, aem, but I totally disagree. Someone with such horrible
> eating manners is a gross-out and destroys the dining experience for
> everyone in the neighborhood.

Let's go back to the original description: "The offender (adult male)
sits with their chair way back from the table, then so he can reach the
plate he leans far forward. To avoid falling with his face in the meal
he then lay both elbows and half both arms on the table for balance.
The result is that his face is about 6 inches from the plate. He sits
up to speak most of the time but occasionally his dinner conversation
emanates from his soup bowl. This must be very economical on arm
movements while feeding but it looks really ugly and clumsy to me."

Stripped of the judgmental phrases, the guy sits back, leans forward
with his arms on the table and his head low over his plate. Terrible
posture, to be sure, but "horrible" and "gross-out"? He apparently
eats your (the host's) food, participates in the table conversation,
and doesn't chew with his mouth open or make rude noises. "It looks
really ugly and clumsy." So what? I have several ugly, clumsy, good
friends.

> Why should one person be allowed to upset dining for
> multiple others and on an regular basis?

That wasn't the question asked.

> And cultural doesn't come into it [snip]

No, I don't think it does.

> Personally, I consider this type of behavior to be a very nasty
> insult by a very self-centered, self-absorbed, self-serving ugly
> person---someone who should have been hit upside the head a very
> long time ago. Any person who had a thought about others would
> make an attempt to learn how to eat in public, whatever their
> background.

He does sound self-centered, but there is nothing at all in the OP to
indicate that he *intends* to give offense. The OP finds it "ugly" but
there's no insult involved.

> Would I continue to invite this jerk to my home to family dinners and
> subject my family and friends to his rude behavior? Absolutely not.

Not the question asked.

> If this a career situation where I must entertain this piece of crap
> in my home then it would be him, me and my spouse. I would not
> subject my children and others I like/love to this kind of abuse, and
> abuse is what it is.

Sorry, I just don't see bad posture as abusive.

The original question was whether to volunteer criticism to the guy,
pointing out what the host considered ugly and bad manners. I said I
wouldn't. Apparently you would, but you don't say how you would
present it so as to have any hope for a positive result. Hitting him
upside the head ain't gonna help establish a good long term
relationship.... -aem

Damsel in dis Dress > wrote in
:

>>Ah, I'm just as couth as you are! I was going to suggest only with the
>>nostrils!

What about using the Krazy-Straw (sp?)?

Also being the blossoming elementary school scientist, I remember my
sister yelling out "MOM?!! The milk is BLUE again!!!"

Food coloring... 1001 uses.

--
"If you can't do it naturally, then fake it."
- Alfred Hitchcock
Spoken to Ingrid Bergman

Andy >, if that's their real name, wrote:

>Damsel in dis Dress > wrote in
:
>
>>>Ah, I'm just as couth as you are! I was going to suggest only with the
>>>nostrils!

That was kilikini who said that.

>What about using the Krazy-Straw (sp?)?

They're good, but the hats with a pop or beer holder and a straw leading
from the can to the wearer's mouth beats them, hands down.

>Also being the blossoming elementary school scientist, I remember my
>sister yelling out "MOM?!! The milk is BLUE again!!!"
>
>Food coloring... 1001 uses.

You're just plain evil.

Carol
--
Coming at you live, from beautiful Lake Woebegon

Damsel in dis Dress > wrote in
:

> Coming at you live, from beautiful Lake Woebegon
>

Lake Woebegon... now where is said lake? My sources tell me it's
ficticious.

Andy

--
"If you can't do it naturally, then fake it."
- Alfred Hitchcock
Spoken to Ingrid Bergman