SLop begins making her po-boys by mixing some mayo (or was it tarter sauce?)
and "Cajun spices ™", whatever THAT is. She empties a jar of capers into a
strainer to drain them of their "juice", only to put them back and then only
uses a tablespoon for her recipe, leaving the rest to dry out in the jar.

Sandra announces "To my remulade I am going to add crap". Fraudian slip, SLop?
She mixes the crab into remulade and confides "I have never been to Mardis Gras
before, but went to Jazzfest". Sandra then talks about her impending guests for
whom she is making this food. Who would like to wager a bet they never show up?

SLop scoops out a hoagie, then puts the scraps into a blender with "themed
herbs", whatever THOSE are. She then tells us to "pulse it", but unfortunately,
she STILL hasn't mastered "The Pulse", so she stands there staring at the
blender, trying to figure out how to turn it off for about 20 seconds.

Sandra adds bread crumbs to the crap, err, crab, mixture and rolls them into
little balls, adding that they can be formed into tiny patties and served as
appetizers. What's that cloudy orange cake-shaped jello mold on the table? Is
jello Cajun?

With a gleeful "Me washie handsies!", Sandra washes her hands and tells us she
does this because you don't want to fry things with wet hands. Huh? Once again,
she misses the entire point.

SLop then dredges the crab cakes in a pie tin of corn muffin mix for no
apparent reason. Naturally, when she fries them, the breading almost
immediately sloughs off the patties in the pan. As we head out to commercial,
SLop starts to tell us what else she's going to make, but forgets what it is.

Sandra tells us she's going to make dirty rice, then gets "more lettuce" for
some reason. At this point I am doubly confused because this is the first time
she got lettuce from the fridge and I have never seen lettuce used in dirty
rice before. She chops the head in half, then throws it away. She cooks some
Jimmy Dean ™ breakfast sausage, scoops it into another pan, then sets it aside.
She then adds oil to the pan, but it's obviously a new pan, because there's no
sign at all that she just cooked sausage in it. She sautes some onions, celery,
and green peppers and calls it a "trioty". I think she meant "trinity" a sauted
mixture of onion, celery, and carrots, but I'm not sure.

Grabbing a bunch of paper towels and wrapping them around her hand, SLop
announces "I am now going to grab the crabcakes!". Holy crap! She's going to
use her hands to retrieve those crapcakes from the pan of hot oil! Sadly, she
puts the wad of towels onto a plate and uses a spatula to remove them.

Sandra puts the sausage back into the frying pan, adds a box of rice-a-roni,
and the seasoning packet. And a LOT of chicken stock. Mmmmm, rice soup! It is
going to take more than a couple minutes to reduce that much fluid, Snarda.

SLop jumps back to making those po-boys...
She fills the bread hole with the remulade and a couple crab cakes. Sandra asks
the rhetorical question "Don't you just want to eat this right now?". No, I do
not want that right now, nor ever, but thanks for asking. She adds some lettuce
and tomato to the po-boys, then starts to shove it into her mouth. "Yum!" she
says aloud and she makes this Jennifer Willbanks bug-eyed expression on her
face right as they cut away to a glamour shot of Milli Vanilli's po-boys. When
we return, we see her pretending to chew with her mouth full. I am SO betting
she gave herself third degree burns in her mouth again or made a technicolor
yawn right there. I guess this is a mystery for the ages or until one of her
staff smuggles out some blooper footage and posts it to the Internet. Right
before we head out to commercial, SLop grabs the pan of rice that's been
sitting unattended all this time and sets it aside, saying "I put this rice
aside b/c I'd have dirty fried rice!". Whatever.

The funniest line of today's show? The first ad after the end of this
commercial imediately began "You sent us your kitchen nightmares!". Hee!

We come back from commercial break and SLop gets all excited showing us her
ugly ribbon remnant valance. Whoot! Anyhow, back to business. She takes some
"caramel sauce", the stuff you put onto ice cream actually, and adds liqueur
and heats it up on the stove. I am not sure if she's trying to thicken it or
just warming it up. Naturally, she warns us about cooking with liqueur when the
stove is on. Once heated through, she dumps half into chocolate pie crust and
informs us that we can get those ready made at the store. Really? You can buy
those at the store? I never ever would have guessed! She takes some coffee ice
cream from the freezer and puts it into the pie crust. Oddly enough, the ice
cream is really soft for having just come out of the freezer. She then tells us
we can use other flavours of ice cream besides coffee for your mud pie. I guess
one could, but then it wouldn't be a MUD PIE if you did. Moron. Sandra quickly
tells to skip the booze if kids are around, then adds another layer of ice
cream to the pie. Why she doesn't just put it all into the pie at once
mystifies me. In another Sandra stupid moment, she tells us we could use
different flavours for the layers and shares with us that her grannie liked
butter pecan ice cream. Once again, I am compelled to yell at the TV "It's not
a mud pie if you use different flavours, bitch!". She puts the pie in the
freezer and pulls out another pre-made one, drizzles the rest of the hot
caramel on top of the ice cream pie, then puts it back into the freezer to "set
up". Yeah, hot caramel will do that to ice cream. She pulls out another pie
that MV made and tries to slice it with a big-ass Michael Meyers knife, but
suddenly decides to take the whole thing out when she can't cut out the slice.
Moron. After struggling to remove a slice of pie, SLop demonstrates her skill
that got her this gig when she deep throats a slice of the pie.

When we return from commercial, we can tell by the graphic on the screen
that it's now "Sandra's Cocktail Time!". SLop enters, stage right, with a
couple bottles in her hand. Into a pitcher she pours in some mis-cueded "foley
whiskey" (called that because the "glug glug" noise begins before the booze
starts pouring out) and some other stuff while she says "I love tieing in my
cocktails to the theme of the show and it makes the food taste better." Ah, so
your secret IS to get the guests so blasted that they don't notice the crap
you're serving them! Sandra gets a little too excited about that grenadine and
claims that her drink is peach-colored. That is NOT a peach colored drink!
Declaring they are as cute as her tablescape, she grabs her drink and heads
over to the tablescape room.

We fade into the dinning room with some seriously rocking music in the
background. As usual, the music is too loud. Anyhow, the tablescape is rather
tame, mostly consisting of gold, green, and purple votive candles littered on
the table. This week, she folds giant napkins accordion style, recommending we
iron them that way to save time, then uses a cheap party favour mask to hold
the napkin together but the rubber band is not nearly taut enough to hold it
together, so she quickly puts it down before it comes apart in her palsied
hands. SLop gleefully announces she's going to show us how to make confetti
bombs -- Quick, call homeland security! Fortunately, for the terror alert
system, it turns out to be only confetti wrapped up in tissue paper. Like a
retarded four year old, she shows us how to use it, namely by ripping it open
and tossing the contents into air, yelling "Confetti EVERYWHERE!!". She pimps
her website and closes out with the usual inane "Keep it..."'s.

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee.

Ubiquitous wrote:
> SLop begins making her po-boys by mixing some mayo (or was it tarter sauce?)
> and "Cajun spices ™", whatever THAT is. She empties a jar of capers into a
> strainer to drain them of their "juice", only to put them back and then only
> uses a tablespoon for her recipe, leaving the rest to dry out in the jar.
>
> Sandra announces "To my remulade I am going to add crap". Fraudian slip, SLop?
> She mixes the crab into remulade and confides "I have never been to Mardis Gras
> before, but went to Jazzfest". Sandra then talks about her impending guests for
> whom she is making this food. Who would like to wager a bet they never show up?
>
> SLop scoops out a hoagie, then puts the scraps into a blender with "themed
> herbs", whatever THOSE are. She then tells us to "pulse it", but unfortunately,
> she STILL hasn't mastered "The Pulse", so she stands there staring at the
> blender, trying to figure out how to turn it off for about 20 seconds.
>
> Sandra adds bread crumbs to the crap, err, crab, mixture and rolls them into
> little balls, adding that they can be formed into tiny patties and served as
> appetizers. What's that cloudy orange cake-shaped jello mold on the table? Is
> jello Cajun?
>
> With a gleeful "Me washie handsies!", Sandra washes her hands and tells us she
> does this because you don't want to fry things with wet hands. Huh? Once again,
> she misses the entire point.
>
> SLop then dredges the crab cakes in a pie tin of corn muffin mix for no
> apparent reason. Naturally, when she fries them, the breading almost
> immediately sloughs off the patties in the pan. As we head out to commercial,
> SLop starts to tell us what else she's going to make, but forgets what it is.
>
> Sandra tells us she's going to make dirty rice, then gets "more lettuce" for
> some reason. At this point I am doubly confused because this is the first time
> she got lettuce from the fridge and I have never seen lettuce used in dirty
> rice before. She chops the head in half, then throws it away. She cooks some
> Jimmy Dean ™ breakfast sausage, scoops it into another pan, then sets it aside.
> She then adds oil to the pan, but it's obviously a new pan, because there's no
> sign at all that she just cooked sausage in it. She sautes some onions, celery,
> and green peppers and calls it a "trioty". I think she meant "trinity" a sauted
> mixture of onion, celery, and carrots, but I'm not sure.

to be fair, in the cajun sense, I believe that green pepper replaces the
carrot for a mirepoix.
sl still sucks.

--

saerah

"It's not a gimmick, it's an incentive."- asterbark, afca

aware of the manifold possibilities of the future

"I think there's a clause in the Shaman's and Jujumen's Local #57 Union
contract that they have to have reciprocity for each other's shop rules."
-König Prüß

Geeze! You have the time to write a 500 word essay on Sandra Lee.?!

Nancree

sarah bennett wrote:

> Ubiquitous wrote:
>> SLop begins making her po-boys by mixing some mayo (or was it
>> tarter sauce?) and "Cajun spices ™", whatever THAT is. She
>> empties a jar of capers into a strainer to drain them of their
>> "juice", only to put them back and then only uses a tablespoon
>> for her recipe, leaving the rest to dry out in the jar.
>>
>> Sandra announces "To my remulade I am going to add crap".
>> Fraudian slip, SLop? She mixes the crab into remulade and
>> confides "I have never been to Mardis Gras before, but went to
>> Jazzfest". Sandra then talks about her impending guests for whom
>> she is making this food. Who would like to wager a bet they never
>> show up?
>>
>> SLop scoops out a hoagie, then puts the scraps into a blender
>> with "themed herbs", whatever THOSE are. She then tells us to
>> "pulse it", but unfortunately, she STILL hasn't mastered "The
>> Pulse", so she stands there staring at the blender, trying to
>> figure out how to turn it off for about 20 seconds.
>>
>> Sandra adds bread crumbs to the crap, err, crab, mixture and
>> rolls them into little balls, adding that they can be formed into
>> tiny patties and served as appetizers. What's that cloudy orange
>> cake-shaped jello mold on the table? Is jello Cajun?
>>
>> With a gleeful "Me washie handsies!", Sandra washes her hands and
>> tells us she does this because you don't want to fry things with
>> wet hands. Huh? Once again, she misses the entire point.
>>
>> SLop then dredges the crab cakes in a pie tin of corn muffin mix
>> for no apparent reason. Naturally, when she fries them, the
>> breading almost immediately sloughs off the patties in the pan.
>> As we head out to commercial, SLop starts to tell us what else
>> she's going to make, but forgets what it is.
>>
>> Sandra tells us she's going to make dirty rice, then gets "more
>> lettuce" for some reason. At this point I am doubly confused
>> because this is the first time she got lettuce from the fridge
>> and I have never seen lettuce used in dirty rice before. She
>> chops the head in half, then throws it away. She cooks some Jimmy
>> Dean ™ breakfast sausage, scoops it into another pan, then sets
>> it aside. She then adds oil to the pan, but it's obviously a new
>> pan, because there's no sign at all that she just cooked sausage
>> in it. She sautes some onions, celery, and green peppers and
>> calls it a "trioty". I think she meant "trinity" a sauted mixture
>> of onion, celery, and carrots, but I'm not sure.
>
> to be fair, in the cajun sense, I believe that green pepper
> replaces the carrot for a mirepoix.
> sl still sucks.

Absolutely correct.
Onion, celery and carrot is a mire pois.
In south Louisiana (which is where I am) we call onion, celery and
green pepper the trinity.

I missed the show today and, being that I am in cajun country, I am a
bit disappointed. I will have to watch for repeats.

What color were her appliances today?

Sarah corrected an obsessed Ubiquitous:

>> She sautes some onions, celery, and green peppers and calls it a
>> "trioty". I think she meant "trinity" a sauted mixture of onion, celery,
>> and carrots, but I'm not sure.
>
> to be fair, in the cajun sense, I believe that green pepper replaces the
> carrot for a mirepoix.

I'm sure YOU have the correct thing in your head, but just to be absolutely
clear:

In Creole and Cajun cooking, the term "trinity" means a sautéed mixture of
onions, celery, and green peppers. The term "mirepoix" means a sautéed
mixture of onions, celery, and carrots.


> sl still sucks.

I've only seen bits and pieces of "Semi-Homemade", but I don't understand
how a show of that nature deserves such an over-the-top outpouring of
acrimony and vituperation as displayed by Ubiquitous and her ilk. Is it
REALLY worth the effort? Does anybody here believe that executives at
FoodTV will cancel the show because of anything said in this forum?

Bob

In article . com>,
wrote:

>Geeze! You have the time to write a 500 word essay on Sandra Lee.?!

Child's play. It almost writes itself.

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss
Lee.

Nick wrote:
> Onion, celery and carrot is a mire pois.
> In south Louisiana (which is where I am) we call onion, celery and
> green pepper the trinity.

Too bad *she* didn't call it "trinity." She butchered the pronunciation.


> I missed the show today and, being that I am in cajun country, I am a
> bit disappointed. I will have to watch for repeats.
>
> What color were her appliances today?

Orange.

Ubiquitous wrote:
> In article . com>,
> wrote:
>
> >Geeze! You have the time to write a 500 word essay on Sandra Lee.?!
>
> Child's play. It almost writes itself.
>
> --
> WARNING!!!
> Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
> standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
> assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
> "food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
> where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss
> Lee.

ROTFL- Any post that can give me that good a laugh is welcome. Keep
up the good work ! I have never watched SL and probably never will.
She is just one of a long line of so-called celebrity chefs who have
done their best to destroy the reputation of, or, confuse the public,
regarding Cajun and Creole cooking. I welcome her skewering.

Bob wrote:
> Sarah corrected an obsessed Ubiquitous:
>
>
>>>She sautes some onions, celery, and green peppers and calls it a
>>>"trioty". I think she meant "trinity" a sauted mixture of onion, celery,
>>>and carrots, but I'm not sure.
>>
>>to be fair, in the cajun sense, I believe that green pepper replaces the
>>carrot for a mirepoix.
>
>
> I'm sure YOU have the correct thing in your head, but just to be absolutely
> clear:
>
> In Creole and Cajun cooking, the term "trinity" means a sautéed mixture of
> onions, celery, and green peppers. The term "mirepoix" means a sautéed
> mixture of onions, celery, and carrots.
>
>
>
>>sl still sucks.
>
>
> I've only seen bits and pieces of "Semi-Homemade", but I don't understand
> how a show of that nature deserves such an over-the-top outpouring of
> acrimony and vituperation as displayed by Ubiquitous and her ilk. Is it
> REALLY worth the effort? Does anybody here believe that executives at
> FoodTV will cancel the show because of anything said in this forum?
>
> Bob
>
>

no, but its sure fun to bitch


--

saerah

"It's not a gimmick, it's an incentive."- asterbark, afca

aware of the manifold possibilities of the future

"I think there's a clause in the Shaman's and Jujumen's Local #57 Union
contract that they have to have reciprocity for each other's shop rules."
-König Prüß

in article , Bob at
wrote on 7/2/05 5:27 PM:

> I've only seen bits and pieces of "Semi-Homemade", but I don't understand
> how a show of that nature deserves such an over-the-top outpouring of
> acrimony and vituperation as displayed by Ubiquitous and her ilk. Is it
> REALLY worth the effort? Does anybody here believe that executives at
> FoodTV will cancel the show because of anything said in this forum?

We don't WANT them to cancel it. We're having WAY too much fun making fun!

(Ubiquitous) wrote in
:


> Sandra announces "To my remulade I am going to add crap". Fraudian
> slip, SLop?

Sheesh. I love your reviews of this rather horrid show. I actually
watched this one in anticipation of your reviews.

HILARIOUS!

Keep up the good work!

BigBob

http://forums.televisionwithoutpity....?showforum=743

--

saerah

"It's not a gimmick, it's an incentive."- asterbark, afca

aware of the manifold possibilities of the future

"I think there's a clause in the Shaman's and Jujumen's Local #57 Union
contract that they have to have reciprocity for each other's shop rules."
-König Prüß

"Ubiquitous" > wrote in message
...
> SLop begins making her po-boys by mixing

Narrative snipped..

I'm surprised you didn't notice (or at least comment about) the wrist length
sleeves that flared out like bell bottoms a few inches below the elbow. Just
the perfect thing to be wearing while cooking.

I believe she had on similar sleeves for the Corn Dog episode when she
was deep frying things. Smart, eh? She loves to wear things that call
attention to her manic hand gestures so it appears she's actually doing
something. And she also wears things that call attention to her
breasts. Did anyone see that sheer top over the tank top with the
design that placed huge targets right over each boob? Almost as vulgar
as the food she makes.

gjgee wrote:

> I believe she had on similar sleeves for the Corn Dog episode when she
> was deep frying things. Smart, eh? She loves to wear things that call
> attention to her manic hand gestures so it appears she's actually doing
> something. And she also wears things that call attention to her
> breasts. Did anyone see that sheer top over the tank top with the
> design that placed huge targets right over each boob? Almost as vulgar
> as the food she makes.
>
I gotta say, I enjoy her bringing cocktails into each and every show.
It's almost a flash back to the sixties and the cocktail parties my
parents would attend.
Goomba

On Sat, 02 Jul 2005 18:49:35 -0500, Ubiquitous wrote:

> SLop begins making her po-boys by mixing some mayo (or was it tarter sauce?)
> and "Cajun spices ™", whatever THAT is. She empties a jar of capers into a
> strainer to drain them of their "juice", only to put them back and then only
> uses a tablespoon for her recipe, leaving the rest to dry out in the jar.
>

GOSH, for someone who doesn't like her.... you sure watch the show a
lot.

in article , gjgee at
wrote on 7/2/05 9:32 PM:

> I believe she had on similar sleeves for the Corn Dog episode when she
> was deep frying things. Smart, eh? She loves to wear things that call
> attention to her manic hand gestures so it appears she's actually doing
> something. And she also wears things that call attention to her
> breasts. Did anyone see that sheer top over the tank top with the
> design that placed huge targets right over each boob? Almost as vulgar
> as the food she makes.
>
Likely as inedible too.

On Sat, 02 Jul 2005 18:49:35 -0500, (Ubiquitous)
wrote:


>We come back from commercial break and SLop gets all excited showing us her
>ugly ribbon remnant valance. Whoot! Anyhow, back to business. She takes some
>"caramel sauce", the stuff you put onto ice cream actually, and adds liqueur
>and heats it up on the stove. I am not sure if she's trying to thicken it or
>just warming it up. Naturally, she warns us about cooking with liqueur

bourbon

>when the
>stove is on. Once heated through, she dumps half into chocolate pie crust and
>informs us that we can get those ready made at the store. Really? You can buy
>those at the store? I never ever would have guessed! She takes some coffee ice
>cream from the freezer and puts it into the pie crust. Oddly enough, the ice
>cream is really soft for having just come out of the freezer. She then tells us
>we can use other flavours of ice cream besides coffee for your mud pie. I guess
>one could, but then it wouldn't be a MUD PIE if you did. Moron. Sandra quickly
>tells to skip the booze if kids are around, then adds another layer of ice
>cream to the pie. Why she doesn't just put it all into the pie at once
>mystifies me.

She sprinkled choc chips and pecan bits between layers.

> In another Sandra stupid moment, she tells us we could use
>different flavours for the layers and shares with us that her grannie liked
>butter pecan ice cream. Once again, I am compelled to yell at the TV "It's not
>a mud pie if you use different flavours, bitch!". She puts the pie in the
>freezer and pulls out another pre-made one, drizzles the rest of the hot
>caramel on top of the ice cream pie, then puts it back into the freezer to "set
>up". Yeah, hot caramel will do that to ice cream. She pulls out another pie
>that MV made and tries to slice it with a big-ass Michael Meyers knife, but
>suddenly decides to take the whole thing out when she can't cut out the slice.

The whole thing came out of the pie pan. It wasn't planned, but I'm
glad it happened, as she never would have been able to cut that pie
otherwise.

>Moron. After struggling to remove a slice of pie, SLop demonstrates her skill
>that got her this gig when she deep throats a slice of the pie.
>

Not in Sandra's defense, but that pie looked pretty good. Of course,
that could have been because NONE of it was homemade. Okay, so she
mixed the sauce together, most people would have left the booze out
and warmed up the sauce in the microwave.

I used to use choc chip mint ice cream in one of those choc pie shells
and cover the top with choc flavored cool whip. It's really good if
you want an easy, no mess ice cream pie.

pepsi

On Sat, 02 Jul 2005 23:56:03 GMT, sarah bennett
> wrote:


>to be fair, in the cajun sense, I believe that green pepper replaces the
>carrot for a mirepoix.
>sl still sucks.

I think her "trinity" was onion, carrot and green pepper.

On 2 Jul 2005 19:27:03 -0500, "Bob" >
wrote:

>Sarah corrected an obsessed Ubiquitous:
>
>>> She sautes some onions, celery, and green peppers and calls it a
>>> "trioty". I think she meant "trinity" a sauted mixture of onion, celery,
>>> and carrots, but I'm not sure.
>>
>> to be fair, in the cajun sense, I believe that green pepper replaces the
>> carrot for a mirepoix.
>
>I'm sure YOU have the correct thing in your head, but just to be absolutely
>clear:
>
>In Creole and Cajun cooking, the term "trinity" means a sautéed mixture of
>onions, celery, and green peppers. The term "mirepoix" means a sautéed
>mixture of onions, celery, and carrots.
>
>
>> sl still sucks.
>
>I've only seen bits and pieces of "Semi-Homemade", but I don't understand
>how a show of that nature deserves such an over-the-top outpouring of
>acrimony and vituperation as displayed by Ubiquitous and her ilk. Is it
>REALLY worth the effort? Does anybody here believe that executives at
>FoodTV will cancel the show because of anything said in this forum?
>
>Bob
>
Comedy, people, comedy. We enjoy laughing at the show and all it's
little faux pas's. If FN cancels it, we'd miss all the fun and this
newsgroup would become extinct. I don't see too many other things on
the Food Network being discussed. Feel free to change the subject.

pepsi

On Sun, 03 Jul 2005 17:29:29 GMT, wrote:

> I used to use choc chip mint ice cream in one of those choc pie shells
> and cover the top with choc flavored cool whip. It's really good if
> you want an easy, no mess ice cream pie.

Ahhh. Ice cream pie, what a simple dessert! I don't top it with cool
whip or whipped cream. Usually, it's straight up hot fudge. Next
time, drizzle some shell chocolate over on top. It's crackling good!

On Sun, 03 Jul 2005 17:36:40 GMT, wrote:

> On 2 Jul 2005 19:27:03 -0500, "Bob" >
> wrote:
>
> >Sarah corrected an obsessed Ubiquitous:
> >
> >> sl still sucks.
> >
> >I've only seen bits and pieces of "Semi-Homemade", but I don't understand
> >how a show of that nature deserves such an over-the-top outpouring of
> >acrimony and vituperation as displayed by Ubiquitous and her ilk. Is it
> >REALLY worth the effort? Does anybody here believe that executives at
> >FoodTV will cancel the show because of anything said in this forum?
> >
> >Bob
> >
> Comedy, people, comedy. We enjoy laughing at the show and all it's
> little faux pas's. If FN cancels it, we'd miss all the fun and this
> newsgroup would become extinct. I don't see too many other things on
> the Food Network being discussed. Feel free to change the subject.
>
> pepsi

We don't see anyone laughing at her, we see them spit venom and bile.
Feel free to delete rec.food.cooking from your cross post list.

I agree with you, Bob--I've only seen the show once--it certainly is
not the best of cooking shows--but I really cannot understand the
fanatical, vorciferous, hateful bullshit that Ubiquitous spews about
the show. Jesus--some people just need to get a damn life--or go on
Prozac.

What's the matter, Ubiquitous? You seem to be in a real lather over a
little cooking show. Get a life and grow up.

tsr3 wrote:
> What's the matter, Ubiquitous? You seem to be in a real lather over a
> little cooking show. Get a life and grow up.
>
I think Ubiquitous is pretty funny and have enjoyed his or her
observations about Sandra Lee. Too each his own, eh?
I could suggest that your command to "get a life and grow up" sounds
pretty childish too.
Goomba

If reading diatribes like these really float your boat, then by all
means, enjoy, and soak up every snotty word and turn of phrase like a
sponge. Guess Ubi is the usenet equivalent of Jerry Springer.

May sound childish to you, but Ubi still needs to grow up and get a
life, IMHO. Her stuff reads like a deranged 5th grader.

On Tue, 05 Jul 2005 01:23:50 -0000, Bubbabob wrote:

(Ubiquitous) wrote:
>
>> She sautes some onions, celery,
>> and green peppers and calls it a "trioty". I think she meant "trinity"
>> a sauted mixture of onion, celery, and carrots, but I'm not sure.
>
>That's a French trinity. The Cajun and/or Creole trinity is onions, celery,
>and green pepper. At least she got that right.

Onion, celery and carrots is a mirepoix, if I remember correctly

Pan Ohco

wrote:
(Ubiquitous) wrote:

>> She sautes some onions, celery,
>> and green peppers and calls it a "trioty". I think she meant "trinity"
>> a sauted mixture of onion, celery, and carrots, but I'm not sure.
>
>That's a French trinity. The Cajun and/or Creole trinity is onions, celery,
>and green pepper. At least she got that right.

Damn. Colour me surprised!

In article >,
wrote:
>sarah bennett wrote:
>> Ubiquitous wrote:

>>> She sautes some onions, celery, and green peppers and
>>> calls it a "trioty". I think she meant "trinity" a sauted mixture
>>> of onion, celery, and carrots, but I'm not sure.
>>
>> to be fair, in the cajun sense, I believe that green pepper
>> replaces the carrot for a mirepoix.
>> sl still sucks.
>
>Absolutely correct.
>Onion, celery and carrot is a mire pois.
>In south Louisiana (which is where I am) we call onion, celery and
>green pepper the trinity.

Ahh, so "trioty" WAS a drunken mispronounciation!

>I missed the show today and, being that I am in cajun country, I am a
>bit disappointed. I will have to watch for repeats.

Food Network's site has a listing of repeats. I suspect it's going
to make another afternoon appearance shortly.

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss
Lee.

wrote:

>I've only seen bits and pieces of "Semi-Homemade", but I don't understand
>how a show of that nature deserves such an over-the-top outpouring of
>acrimony and vituperation as displayed by Ubiquitous and her ilk. Is it
>REALLY worth the effort? Does anybody here believe that executives at
>FoodTV will cancel the show because of anything said in this forum?

The show will be cancelled soon enough. I have a theory that this show
isn't going to be on the air for much longer, so watch and laugh while
you can.

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee.

In article >,
wrote:

>Sheesh. I love your reviews of this rather horrid show. I actually
>watched this one in anticipation of your reviews.
>
>HILARIOUS!
>
>Keep up the good work!

Thanks!

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss
Lee.

In article >, wrote:
>"Ubiquitous" > wrote:

>> SLop begins making her po-boys by mixing...
>
>I'm surprised you didn't notice (or at least comment about) the wrist length
>sleeves that flared out like bell bottoms a few inches below the elbow. Just
>the perfect thing to be wearing while cooking.

Compared to some of her other outfits, the one in this ep was downright
sensible. There was this one ep in particular (I forgot which one ATM)
in which her sleeves and cuffs dragged through EVERYTHING she made,
including the raw meat in one of her first recipes.

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee.

In article >,
wrote:
>On Sat, 02 Jul 2005 18:49:35 -0500, (Ubiquitous)
>wrote:

>>Yeah, hot caramel will do that to ice cream. She pulls out another pie
>>that MV made and tries to slice it with a big-ass Michael Meyers knife, but
>>suddenly decides to take the whole thing out when she can't cut out the
>>slice.
>
>The whole thing came out of the pie pan. It wasn't planned, but I'm
>glad it happened, as she never would have been able to cut that pie
>otherwise.

I seem to remember she thought it was hysterically funny too. I can't help
but wonder if that was the best take they had or if someone wants to
make her look bad?

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee.

in article , Ubiquitous at
wrote on 7/15/05 1:54 AM:

> In article >,
> wrote:
>> On Sat, 02 Jul 2005 18:49:35 -0500, (Ubiquitous)
>> wrote:
>
>>> Yeah, hot caramel will do that to ice cream. She pulls out another pie
>>> that MV made and tries to slice it with a big-ass Michael Meyers knife, but
>>> suddenly decides to take the whole thing out when she can't cut out the
>>> slice.
>>
>> The whole thing came out of the pie pan. It wasn't planned, but I'm
>> glad it happened, as she never would have been able to cut that pie
>> otherwise.
>
> I seem to remember she thought it was hysterically funny too. I can't help
> but wonder if that was the best take they had or if someone wants to
> make her look bad?

You mean by airing her show?


--
The "Upward Foundation" in Phoenix AZ, 623-848-9725, are liars and scam
artists. They make junk phone calls often several times a day to the same
number and refuse to remove you from their calling list (they will give you
a non working number to call to be removed, and the contact address on their
website is phony). This has been going on for a decade. Do not deal with
them.

In article .com>,
wrote:
>Ubiquitous wrote:

>> Child's play. It almost writes itself.
>>
>> --
>> WARNING!!!
>> Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
>> standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
>> assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
>> "food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
>> where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss
>> Lee.
>
>ROTFL- Any post that can give me that good a laugh is welcome. Keep
>up the good work ! I have never watched SL and probably never will.
>She is just one of a long line of so-called celebrity chefs who have
>done their best to destroy the reputation of, or, confuse the public,
>regarding Cajun and Creole cooking. I welcome her skewering.

Thanks! It's always fun to watch and snark.

In article >, wrote:
>in article , Ubiquitous at
wrote on 7/15/05 1:54 AM:

>> I seem to remember she thought it was hysterically funny too. I can't help
>> but wonder if that was the best take they had or if someone wants to
>> make her look bad?
>
>You mean by airing her show?

Besides that?

Speaking of which, have you ever noticed the variant amount of sunlight coming
through her kitchen window? Does it take her that long to get good footage?

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee.

I saw this ep last night and I have to ask: Haven't the people of New Orleans
suffered enough?

P.S.
OK, I'm a little scared to go into my pantry now. I have a bottle of fiend
herbs & I just know they are in there plotting something evil.... and
waiting..... shudder

In article >, wrote:
>
>
>SLop begins making her po-boys by mixing some mayo (or was it tarter sauce?)
>and "Cajun spices ™", whatever THAT is. She empties a jar of capers into a
>strainer to drain them of their "juice", only to put them back and then only
>uses a tablespoon for her recipe, leaving the rest to dry out in the jar.
>
>Sandra announces "To my remulade I am going to add crap". Fraudian slip, SLop?
>She mixes the crab into remulade and confides "I have never been to Mardis
Gras
>before, but went to Jazzfest". Sandra then talks about her impending guests
for
>whom she is making this food. Who would like to wager a bet they never show
up?
>
>SLop scoops out a hoagie, then puts the scraps into a blender with "themed
>herbs", whatever THOSE are. She then tells us to "pulse it", but
unfortunately,
>she STILL hasn't mastered "The Pulse", so she stands there staring at the
>blender, trying to figure out how to turn it off for about 20 seconds.
>
>Sandra adds bread crumbs to the crap, err, crab, mixture and rolls them into
>little balls, adding that they can be formed into tiny patties and served as
>appetizers. What's that cloudy orange cake-shaped jello mold on the table? Is
>jello Cajun?
>
>With a gleeful "Me washie handsies!", Sandra washes her hands and tells us she
>does this because you don't want to fry things with wet hands. Huh? Once
again,
>she misses the entire point.
>
>SLop then dredges the crab cakes in a pie tin of corn muffin mix for no
>apparent reason. Naturally, when she fries them, the breading almost
>immediately sloughs off the patties in the pan. As we head out to commercial,
>SLop starts to tell us what else she's going to make, but forgets what it is.
>
>Sandra tells us she's going to make dirty rice, then gets "more lettuce" for
>some reason. At this point I am doubly confused because this is the first time
>she got lettuce from the fridge and I have never seen lettuce used in dirty
>rice before. She chops the head in half, then throws it away. She cooks some
>Jimmy Dean ™ breakfast sausage, scoops it into another pan, then sets it
aside.
>She then adds oil to the pan, but it's obviously a new pan, because there's no
>sign at all that she just cooked sausage in it. She sautes some onions,
celery,
>and green peppers and calls it a "trioty". I think she meant "trinity" a
sauted
>mixture of onion, celery, and carrots, but I'm not sure.
>
>Grabbing a bunch of paper towels and wrapping them around her hand, SLop
>announces "I am now going to grab the crabcakes!". Holy crap! She's going to
>use her hands to retrieve those crapcakes from the pan of hot oil! Sadly, she
>puts the wad of towels onto a plate and uses a spatula to remove them.
>
>Sandra puts the sausage back into the frying pan, adds a box of rice-a-roni,
>and the seasoning packet. And a LOT of chicken stock. Mmmmm, rice soup! It is
>going to take more than a couple minutes to reduce that much fluid, Snarda.
>
>SLop jumps back to making those po-boys...
>She fills the bread hole with the remulade and a couple crab cakes. Sandra
asks
>the rhetorical question "Don't you just want to eat this right now?". No, I do
>not want that right now, nor ever, but thanks for asking. She adds some
lettuce
>and tomato to the po-boys, then starts to shove it into her mouth. "Yum!" she
>says aloud and she makes this Jennifer Willbanks bug-eyed expression on her
>face right as they cut away to a glamour shot of Milli Vanilli's po-boys. When
>we return, we see her pretending to chew with her mouth full. I am SO betting
>she gave herself third degree burns in her mouth again or made a technicolor
>yawn right there. I guess this is a mystery for the ages or until one of her
>staff smuggles out some blooper footage and posts it to the Internet. Right
>before we head out to commercial, SLop grabs the pan of rice that's been
>sitting unattended all this time and sets it aside, saying "I put this rice
>aside b/c I'd have dirty fried rice!". Whatever.
>
>The funniest line of today's show? The first ad after the end of this
>commercial imediately began "You sent us your kitchen nightmares!". Hee!
>
>We come back from commercial break and SLop gets all excited showing us her
>ugly ribbon remnant valance. Whoot! Anyhow, back to business. She takes some
>"caramel sauce", the stuff you put onto ice cream actually, and adds liqueur
>and heats it up on the stove. I am not sure if she's trying to thicken it or
>just warming it up. Naturally, she warns us about cooking with liqueur when
the
>stove is on. Once heated through, she dumps half into chocolate pie crust and
>informs us that we can get those ready made at the store. Really? You can buy
>those at the store? I never ever would have guessed! She takes some coffee ice
>cream from the freezer and puts it into the pie crust. Oddly enough, the ice
>cream is really soft for having just come out of the freezer. She then tells
us
>we can use other flavours of ice cream besides coffee for your mud pie. I
guess
>one could, but then it wouldn't be a MUD PIE if you did. Moron. Sandra quickly
>tells to skip the booze if kids are around, then adds another layer of ice
>cream to the pie. Why she doesn't just put it all into the pie at once
>mystifies me. In another Sandra stupid moment, she tells us we could use
>different flavours for the layers and shares with us that her grannie liked
>butter pecan ice cream. Once again, I am compelled to yell at the TV "It's not
>a mud pie if you use different flavours, bitch!". She puts the pie in the
>freezer and pulls out another pre-made one, drizzles the rest of the hot
>caramel on top of the ice cream pie, then puts it back into the freezer to
"set
>up". Yeah, hot caramel will do that to ice cream. She pulls out another pie
>that MV made and tries to slice it with a big-ass Michael Meyers knife, but
>suddenly decides to take the whole thing out when she can't cut out the slice.
>Moron. After struggling to remove a slice of pie, SLop demonstrates her skill
>that got her this gig when she deep throats a slice of the pie.
>
>When we return from commercial, we can tell by the graphic on the screen
>that it's now "Sandra's Cocktail Time!". SLop enters, stage right, with a
>couple bottles in her hand. Into a pitcher she pours in some mis-cueded "foley
>whiskey" (called that because the "glug glug" noise begins before the booze
>starts pouring out) and some other stuff while she says "I love tieing in my
>cocktails to the theme of the show and it makes the food taste better." Ah, so
>your secret IS to get the guests so blasted that they don't notice the crap
>you're serving them! Sandra gets a little too excited about that grenadine and
>claims that her drink is peach-colored. That is NOT a peach colored drink!
>Declaring they are as cute as her tablescape, she grabs her drink and heads
>over to the tablescape room.
>
>We fade into the dinning room with some seriously rocking music in the
>background. As usual, the music is too loud. Anyhow, the tablescape is rather
>tame, mostly consisting of gold, green, and purple votive candles littered on
>the table. This week, she folds giant napkins accordion style, recommending we
>iron them that way to save time, then uses a cheap party favour mask to hold
>the napkin together but the rubber band is not nearly taut enough to hold it
>together, so she quickly puts it down before it comes apart in her palsied
>hands. SLop gleefully announces she's going to show us how to make confetti
>bombs -- Quick, call homeland security! Fortunately, for the terror alert
>system, it turns out to be only confetti wrapped up in tissue paper. Like a
>retarded four year old, she shows us how to use it, namely by ripping it open
>and tossing the contents into air, yelling "Confetti EVERYWHERE!!". She pimps
>her website and closes out with the usual inane "Keep it..."'s.
>
>--
>WARNING!!!
>Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
>standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
>assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
>"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
>where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee.
>

On Tue, 4 Oct 2005 12:30:52 -0400, Janeybird wrote:

> I have a bottle of fiend
> herbs & I just know they are in there plotting something evil.... and
> waiting..... shudder

FIEND and herbs... wth is that?

sf wrote:

> On Tue, 4 Oct 2005 12:30:52 -0400, Janeybird wrote:
>
>
>> I have a bottle of fiend
>> herbs & I just know they are in there plotting something evil.... and
>> waiting..... shudder
>
>
> FIEND and herbs... wth is that?

a play on words? Fines herbs just don't strike enough fear in most of us.
Goomba

In article >,
wrote:
>
>On Tue, 4 Oct 2005 12:30:52 -0400, Janeybird wrote:
>
>> I have a bottle of fiend
>> herbs & I just know they are in there plotting something evil.... and
>> waiting..... shudder
>
>FIEND and herbs... wth is that?

Apparently Stagger Lee misread the cue cards with "Fines Herbs" written
on them.

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss
Lee.