People laugh when I say this. One of the reasons I like summertime
around here is because of all the lawn parties and firehouse picnics. I
bump into people I haven’t seen in a while and we lie about how well
we’re all doing. Amazing Daughter’s delight takes over for the evening.
We laugh and she rides things. Then we ride the Ferris wheels
together. And we eat.
You know what’s out there. Sandwiches. Country ham. Beef barbecue.
Pork. Smoked, pulled, sliced, vinegared, red-sauced, however you can
imagine it. Sloppy Joes. Then ride the whip.
Ice cream. Sno-cones. Fries in a zillion shapes and sizes. Hot dogs
shorter than the bun, the same length as the bun and longer than the
bun. Then do the bumper cars. Back for a big soda.
Sausage sandwiches with peppers and onions. Should come with a side of
Maalox. Maybe throw a couple balls at those elusive targets and win a
stuffed animal. Fried chicken leg quarters with a slice of bread. Ride
the octopus. Then it’s time for serious eating. Funnel cakes. I can
hear you laughing.
You know what they are. Basically, sweet batter dropped into hot fat
and fried briefly on each side. Sprinkled with powdered sugar. Handed
out the window on a skimpy paper plate. Next!
Hang on a second. There’s more to them than just that. Well, actually
there isn’t. But there are several different but close ways to get
there. They’re simple home cooking that kids and grownups like. Even
in this day of fat-conscious eating, somehow funnel cakes are a
different category that forgives the transgression.
Here are three slightly different versions I’ve collected over the
years. The different recipes give slightly different results and all are
good and easy. I’ve found that if you’re testing the recipes and have
plenty of powdered sugar on hand, pretty much everybody will help you
decide which is best. And, the other thing you need to remember is that
everyone IS an expert you should listen to very carefully. No, really.
Ask anybody.
Basic rules for all of them: For home use, an electric skillet is
perfect. You’ll need about a half-inch of oil in it and it should be
heated to about 375°F. They’re called funnel cakes because, um, you
pour the batter through a, er, funnel. Duh. But if you want to make
measuring cup cakes or squeeze-bottle cakes, that’ll work, too. For the
squeeze bottle, make sure the hole is big enough to let a decent
sized-squirt out. Too thin means the cake will break when you’re
handling it.
What kind of oil for frying? I’d avoid olive oil - not that compatible
with powdered sugar. After that, it doesn’t really matter. Corn oil,
peanut oil, soybean oil. The old-timers used lard which, as far as I’m
concerned, gives the best result. Nowadays, if you cook with lard,
somebody’s bound to call you a commie or something. Solid shortenings
like Crisco work fine, too. Your call.
Use a funnel with an opening between 1/4 and 1/2 inch. Fry each cake
on the first side about a minute, or until the edges are golden. Turn
and fry the other side about 45 seconds. Drain on paper towels.
Sprinkle with confectioners sugar. Or trickle maple syrup, molasses or
honey over top.
Or, put a dash of cinnamon or some interesting extract or even a
liqueur in the batter. Never thought of that now, did you? Play with
it. That liqueur business sure takes it uptown in a hurry, doesn’t it?
You might enjoy seeing them in modern, living color. Mix a drop of
food color with maybe four tablespoons sugar and stir, shake or
otherwise mix it all together to spread the color. Maple sugar is good.
Likewise brown sugar.
Funnel Cakes, version 1 - Rings
This one is the lightest and airiest of the three. I suggest rings
because, well, it’s my column and I can. Besides, the lightness
reminded me of good doughnuts.
1 egg
2\3 cup milk
2 tablespoons sugar
1\4 teaspoon salt
1 1\3 cup flour
3\4 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
Heat oil to 375°. Beat egg and milk together. Mix all dry ingredients
together. Add milk mixture and beat until batter is smooth. Pour
batter slowly in a circle shape about 6 inches round.

Funnel Cakes, version 2 - Flowers
These will be a bit heavier than the first ones.
1 1/4 cups self-rising flour
2 tablespoons sugar
2/3 cup milk
1 egg, slightly beaten
confectioners sugar, for dusting
Heat oil to 375°. Combine flour, sugar, milk, and egg in a bowl,
beating with electric mixer until smooth. Pour batter into hot fat in
the shape of a small (5-inch) flower. I usually like 5 petals, but the
Funnel Cake Executive Committee says you can make it with as many as you
like. Shake sugar over top to finish.

Funnel Cakes, version 3 - Pinwheels
These will be the densest with a wonderful, moist cakiness. This one
is where you can best put other things in the batter. Substitute some
flavored extracts for part of the milk. Maybe start with a teaspoon
until you see how much you like.
1 1/2 Cups flour
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 tablespoon oil
1 1/4 cup milk
2 eggs
Mix well, pour into 375° hot oil in a pinwheel shape. Drain on paper
towels when brown. Sprinkle with sugar or something.
Last word of advice. When you’re making them, don’t get between your
testers and the table. Trampled.