This ep begins in SLop's foyer pantry and is wearing an uncomplimentary thick
white turtleneck sweater whose sleeves reach the middle of her hands (I hate
that style!) and she's got her hair like Jonathan Antin got hold of it. I can
tell from the beginning that this one's going to be worth a laugh or two or
three when she says that slow cooking is her new hobby and says something about
hating how it takes so long to cook and that using crockpots save her time. Is
delivery service THAT slow in your neighborhood, Sandie? She rattles off the
menu, which is going to require four or five crockpots. Me, I use the crockpot
for one course of my meal, but maybe it's just me. Grabbing a jar of rice and a
jar of mushrooms, which she holds close to her bosom for some reason, she heads
to the kitchen as the opening credits begin.

Sandra walks into the kitchen and sets down the plastic containers of rice and
mushrooms and an unidentified third one which must just jumped into her arms
unannounced. She declares these to be the best and easiest slow cooker recipes
evah, then goes to "fridgerator" to take out a package of fresh mushrooms and
celery for the soup.

To the crockpot she empties four can of low sodium chicken stock she swiped
from Rachel ray and two cans of cream of mushroom soup with garlic to add
flavour and make the soup is creamy. As she stirs the soup, she tells us that
crockpots are great because you can dump whatever you have in your pantry into
them and make a great meal. She adds some "feen" herbs and carrots, then grabs
a couple stalks of dirty celery. She chops the dirty ribs and tops off, and
tosses them over the crockpot to the floor, then MVs stunt hands chop up the
celery. because she doesn't like to cry, she dumps a ziplock bag of frozen
chopped onion into the mix. Grabbing a Walmart rotisserie chicken, she
separates the meat from the bones by hand, telling us we can use a raw chicken
if we wish. After lidding the crockpot, she does a quick "Me washie handsies!".

She begins working on the mushroom risotto by pouring four cans of vegetable
stock from RR's pantry into another white crock pot, adding this will make a
great dinner. She then tells us we could make an entire dinner using crock pots
and it will only take ten minutes to prepare and be ready when you return. Are
you using magic crockpots or do you black out for several hours and awaken
just as they are finished? SLop adds a can of RR golden mushroom soup that does
not have garlic in it because she is going to add some minced garlic. I have no
idea why she did that, other than to preserve her precious 70/30 percent ratio.
She uses "a barrio rice", which I guess means Spanish rice. Hmm, looks like
Minute Rice ™ to me. She thickly slices some big-ass mushrooms because she
claims food shrinks "waaay down" in the crock pot. I don't believe her for a
second. She turns both crockpots on "high" so they take three hours instead of
eight and we exit to commercial.

When we return from commercial, SLop exclaims "We are going to slow cook the
fast way!" while fetching a ziplock bag of mushrooms and another bag of carrots
form the fridge. Using a big pair of tongs, she puts a tied-up pot roast into
the crock pot but it's too big. Due to the magic of the crock pot, when we cut
to another angle, the roast has shrunken down a bit. Wow, she wasn't kidding
about how food shrinks in crock pots! To this, she adds a can of RR beef stock,
and smears a can of cream of celery soup over the top of the roast. She then
dumps some new potatoes of carrots mushrooms on top of the roast, topping it
off with a packet of instant onion soup mix and some A-1 steak sauce. This is
odd, because one is sppsd to put the vegetables on the bottom, but she says
that everything will cook down into the roast and lids it.

Sandra stops to stir the risotto. Luckily, she doesn't stir it for two hours,
as per the Food Network instructions.

She begins to make the bread pudding by pulverizing instant brown sugar and
spice oatmeal ("a GREAT food resource!" in a blender and then mixing the rest
of the ingredients in a bowl. Why does she always measure things into measuring
cups over the bowl of food? That just bugs the hell out of me. Fulfilling her
duty as spokesperson for the California Almond Council, she adds some sliced
almonds, a RR can of apple pie filling, and the instant oatmeal dust,
accompanied by a post production "this give beautiful texture!" voiceover. She
tells us it has to set up in the fridge for an hour, swapping out a stunt bowl
in the process and dumping it into the crockpot, repeating that stupid warning
about putting cold things into a not-cold crockpot. Moron. She suddenly
remembers that she needs to add noodles to the soup and shuffles back to the
other side of the counter telling us to add two handfuls but adding three, then
she returns to stir the risotto again. "Do it every half hour!", she says.
Before we head out to commercial, she tells us she's going to make the sauce
for the pudding and a hottie sangria.

When we return from commercial, Sandra parrots her stupid "Slow cooking fast!"
phrase and has the ingredients for the cream soda sauce, including a glass jar
of powdered Parmesan cheese. Oh wait, that's for the rice. Phew! To a package
of Dream Whip, she adds a half teaspoon of cinnamon and half a teaspoon of rum
extract. She then adds a what appears to be a full cup of half a cup of cream
soda. She then tells us the bread pudding has been cooking for two hours (it
magical compresses time too?) and makes some dire warning about burning the
cake in the cooker for the standard three hours on "high". OK, so why not just
tell us to leave it in for two hours? She scoops it into a couple dishes and
ladles some of the sauce on top. She removes the pot roast from the crockpot
and, luckily, remembers to remove the string. She starts to cut it, telling us
the meat will literally fall apart (That's because it IS falling apart, you
moron. I get so ****ed off with people who incorrectly use "literally"), and
puts the now entirely-sliced roast onto a platter and tops it with the
vegetables from the bottom of the magic crockpot. She puts the stringy chicken
soup into bowls, adding that it's great cold too, and then adds a cup of the
sawdust Parmesan, measuring it into a measuring cup above the crock pot. She
puts some into a bowl and claims it looks authentic, except it looks like it
has all melted down into a porridge-like consistency. Before bopping out to
commercial, she tells us she's going to make a hottie sangria and a tablescape
in the kitchen! I guess she's too sloshed or lazy to make it to the dining room
this week. What's the POINT?

When we return from commercial, we can tell by the graphic on the screen that
it's now "Sandra's Cocktail Time!". She enters stage right with a bottle of
booze in hand and announces the "hottie sangria", which is made with a white
wine and a red wine. She adds a bottle of white AND red wine into a cooker,
then adds a generous cup of brandy. She adds simple syrup and a couple cinnamon
sticks, a sliced-up orange, and frozen cherries and frozen peaches. Sandra
pipes up with "This drink could actually act as a desert too!". Ugh, no. Sandra
chirps "Lookit at how beautiful this is" and gets a ladle. Big mugs you got
there. As she decants the so-called sangria into a pair of glass beer steins,
she warns us to use heat-proof glasses and invites us to see her buffet scape.

Taking a few steps towards what used to the fourth wall, she declares "Slow
cooking is smart!", which immediate makes me giggle because it reminds me of a
certain ep of Star Trek: Next Gen. Again, for some reason, she decorated the
table the kids are banished to on Thanksgiving, telling us she has to light up
the candles so she can see. her tablescape Huh? Oh, look! What a clever idea
Sandra came up with, putting the silverware in a bucket lined with a napkin!
Except not. She tells us to "Keep it simple, keep it smart, keep it with a slow
cooker", pimps her site, and exits stage left with her stupid double claw wave.

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss
Lee.

You were an asshole to me in another thread so I'll skip over the
compliments today.

> Why does she always measure things into measuring
> cups over the bowl of food? That just bugs the hell out
> of me.

You want annoying? Pick up a Rachael Ray cookbook. I flipped through
one at a bookstore, and I swear, every single time there's a
measurement in tablespoons she adds either "Once (or twice, or three
times) around the pan!" or "Eyeball it!" -- which in the context of,
say, frying something in hot oil, conjures up a rather grotesque little
picture.

Loved the way MV stepped in - after she cut the ends off the celery - the
camera broke away and instead of the two stalks of celery - they magically
were cut in half and now there were four...

And when will this woman learn to use the proper utensil for the proper job -
why in the world did she whisk the bread pudding glop when she should have used
a spoon?

I loved the way she contradicts herself - "I like to put all the liquid in
first" but then did the EXACT reverse with the "pot roast" and put the meat in
first then that nasty ass soup et. al then veggies - a total WTF moment. oh and
she wants to "base" the roast with the soup - the hell you say!

And - I'm sorry - pot roast is supposed to be sliced - not shredded - what the
hell was that final dish of crap called "pot roast"....

I can't believe that dumb ass used a slotted spoon to scoop out the "gravy"
with the veggies

In article >, wrote:
>
>This ep begins in SLop's foyer pantry and is wearing an uncomplimentary thick
>white turtleneck sweater whose sleeves reach the middle of her hands (I hate
>that style!) and she's got her hair like Jonathan Antin got hold of it. I can
>tell from the beginning that this one's going to be worth a laugh or two or
>three when she says that slow cooking is her new hobby and says something
about
>hating how it takes so long to cook and that using crockpots save her time. Is
>delivery service THAT slow in your neighborhood, Sandie? She rattles off the
>menu, which is going to require four or five crockpots. Me, I use the crockpot
>for one course of my meal, but maybe it's just me. Grabbing a jar of rice and
a
>jar of mushrooms, which she holds close to her bosom for some reason, she
heads
>to the kitchen as the opening credits begin.
>
>Sandra walks into the kitchen and sets down the plastic containers of rice and
>mushrooms and an unidentified third one which must just jumped into her arms
>unannounced. She declares these to be the best and easiest slow cooker recipes
>evah, then goes to "fridgerator" to take out a package of fresh mushrooms and
>celery for the soup.
>
>To the crockpot she empties four can of low sodium chicken stock she swiped
>from Rachel ray and two cans of cream of mushroom soup with garlic to add
>flavour and make the soup is creamy. As she stirs the soup, she tells us that
>crockpots are great because you can dump whatever you have in your pantry into
>them and make a great meal. She adds some "feen" herbs and carrots, then grabs
>a couple stalks of dirty celery. She chops the dirty ribs and tops off, and
>tosses them over the crockpot to the floor, then MVs stunt hands chop up the
>celery. because she doesn't like to cry, she dumps a ziplock bag of frozen
>chopped onion into the mix. Grabbing a Walmart rotisserie chicken, she
>separates the meat from the bones by hand, telling us we can use a raw chicken
>if we wish. After lidding the crockpot, she does a quick "Me washie
handsies!".
>
>She begins working on the mushroom risotto by pouring four cans of vegetable
>stock from RR's pantry into another white crock pot, adding this will make a
>great dinner. She then tells us we could make an entire dinner using crock
pots
>and it will only take ten minutes to prepare and be ready when you return. Are
>you using magic crockpots or do you black out for several hours and awaken
>just as they are finished? SLop adds a can of RR golden mushroom soup that
does
>not have garlic in it because she is going to add some minced garlic. I have
no
>idea why she did that, other than to preserve her precious 70/30 percent
ratio.
>She uses "a barrio rice", which I guess means Spanish rice. Hmm, looks like
>Minute Rice ™ to me. She thickly slices some big-ass mushrooms because she
>claims food shrinks "waaay down" in the crock pot. I don't believe her for a
>second. She turns both crockpots on "high" so they take three hours instead of
>eight and we exit to commercial.
>
>When we return from commercial, SLop exclaims "We are going to slow cook the
>fast way!" while fetching a ziplock bag of mushrooms and another bag of
carrots
>form the fridge. Using a big pair of tongs, she puts a tied-up pot roast into
>the crock pot but it's too big. Due to the magic of the crock pot, when we cut
>to another angle, the roast has shrunken down a bit. Wow, she wasn't kidding
>about how food shrinks in crock pots! To this, she adds a can of RR beef
stock,
>and smears a can of cream of celery soup over the top of the roast. She then
>dumps some new potatoes of carrots mushrooms on top of the roast, topping it
>off with a packet of instant onion soup mix and some A-1 steak sauce. This is
>odd, because one is sppsd to put the vegetables on the bottom, but she says
>that everything will cook down into the roast and lids it.
>
>Sandra stops to stir the risotto. Luckily, she doesn't stir it for two hours,
>as per the Food Network instructions.
>
>She begins to make the bread pudding by pulverizing instant brown sugar and
>spice oatmeal ("a GREAT food resource!" in a blender and then mixing the rest
>of the ingredients in a bowl. Why does she always measure things into
measuring
>cups over the bowl of food? That just bugs the hell out of me. Fulfilling her
>duty as spokesperson for the California Almond Council, she adds some sliced
>almonds, a RR can of apple pie filling, and the instant oatmeal dust,
>accompanied by a post production "this give beautiful texture!" voiceover. She
>tells us it has to set up in the fridge for an hour, swapping out a stunt bowl
>in the process and dumping it into the crockpot, repeating that stupid warning
>about putting cold things into a not-cold crockpot. Moron. She suddenly
>remembers that she needs to add noodles to the soup and shuffles back to the
>other side of the counter telling us to add two handfuls but adding three,
then
>she returns to stir the risotto again. "Do it every half hour!", she says.
>Before we head out to commercial, she tells us she's going to make the sauce
>for the pudding and a hottie sangria.
>
>When we return from commercial, Sandra parrots her stupid "Slow cooking fast!"
>phrase and has the ingredients for the cream soda sauce, including a glass jar
>of powdered Parmesan cheese. Oh wait, that's for the rice. Phew! To a package
>of Dream Whip, she adds a half teaspoon of cinnamon and half a teaspoon of rum
>extract. She then adds a what appears to be a full cup of half a cup of cream
>soda. She then tells us the bread pudding has been cooking for two hours (it
>magical compresses time too?) and makes some dire warning about burning the
>cake in the cooker for the standard three hours on "high". OK, so why not just
>tell us to leave it in for two hours? She scoops it into a couple dishes and
>ladles some of the sauce on top. She removes the pot roast from the crockpot
>and, luckily, remembers to remove the string. She starts to cut it, telling us
>the meat will literally fall apart (That's because it IS falling apart, you
>moron. I get so ****ed off with people who incorrectly use "literally"), and
>puts the now entirely-sliced roast onto a platter and tops it with the
>vegetables from the bottom of the magic crockpot. She puts the stringy chicken
>soup into bowls, adding that it's great cold too, and then adds a cup of the
>sawdust Parmesan, measuring it into a measuring cup above the crock pot. She
>puts some into a bowl and claims it looks authentic, except it looks like it
>has all melted down into a porridge-like consistency. Before bopping out to
>commercial, she tells us she's going to make a hottie sangria and a tablescape
>in the kitchen! I guess she's too sloshed or lazy to make it to the dining
room
>this week. What's the POINT?
>
>When we return from commercial, we can tell by the graphic on the screen that
>it's now "Sandra's Cocktail Time!". She enters stage right with a bottle of
>booze in hand and announces the "hottie sangria", which is made with a white
>wine and a red wine. She adds a bottle of white AND red wine into a cooker,
>then adds a generous cup of brandy. She adds simple syrup and a couple
cinnamon
>sticks, a sliced-up orange, and frozen cherries and frozen peaches. Sandra
>pipes up with "This drink could actually act as a desert too!". Ugh, no.
Sandra
>chirps "Lookit at how beautiful this is" and gets a ladle. Big mugs you got
>there. As she decants the so-called sangria into a pair of glass beer steins,
>she warns us to use heat-proof glasses and invites us to see her buffet scape.
>
>Taking a few steps towards what used to the fourth wall, she declares "Slow
>cooking is smart!", which immediate makes me giggle because it reminds me of a
>certain ep of Star Trek: Next Gen. Again, for some reason, she decorated the
>table the kids are banished to on Thanksgiving, telling us she has to light up
>the candles so she can see. her tablescape Huh? Oh, look! What a clever idea
>Sandra came up with, putting the silverware in a bucket lined with a napkin!
>Except not. She tells us to "Keep it simple, keep it smart, keep it with a
slow
>cooker", pimps her site, and exits stage left with her stupid double claw
wave.
>
>--
>WARNING!!!
>Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
>standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
>assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
>"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
>where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss
>Lee.

emil liggins wrote:

> Loved the way MV stepped in - after she cut the ends off the celery -

Who is MV?

in article , Nick at
wrote on 8/9/05 5:17 AM:

> emil liggins wrote:
>
>> Loved the way MV stepped in - after she cut the ends off the celery -
>
> Who is MV?

Miss Vicky.

In article >, wrote:
>
>in article , Nick at
wrote on 8/9/05 5:17 AM:
>
>> emil liggins wrote:
>>
>>> Loved the way MV stepped in - after she cut the ends off the celery -
>>
>> Who is MV?
>
>Miss Vicky.

Milli Vanilli, for the obvious reason...

Ubiquitous wrote on 8/8/2005:

<snip>

> To the crockpot she empties four can of low sodium chicken stock she swiped
> from Rachel ray and two cans of cream of mushroom soup with garlic to add
> flavour and make the soup is creamy. As she stirs the soup, she tells us that
> crockpots are great because you can dump whatever you have in your pantry into
> them and make a great meal. She adds some "feen" herbs and carrots, then grabs
> a couple stalks of dirty celery. She chops the dirty ribs and tops off, and
> tosses them over the crockpot to the floor, then MVs stunt hands chop up the
> celery. because she doesn't like to cry, she dumps a ziplock bag of frozen
> chopped onion into the mix. Grabbing a Walmart rotisserie chicken, she
> separates the meat from the bones by hand, telling us we can use a raw chicken
> if we wish. After lidding the crockpot, she does a quick "Me washie handsies!".

<snip>

good job, once again, but help me out. Maybe there should be a special
Sandra glossary. Since I don't have television in my home, I don't get
the references to "MV."

wrote:
>Ubiquitous wrote on 8/8/2005:

>> To the crockpot she empties four can of low sodium chicken stock she swiped
>> from Rachel ray and two cans of cream of mushroom soup with garlic to add
>> flavour and make the soup is creamy. As she stirs the soup, she tells us that
>> crockpots are great because you can dump whatever you have in your pantry into
>> them and make a great meal. She adds some "feen" herbs and carrots, then grabs
>> a couple stalks of dirty celery. She chops the dirty ribs and tops off, and
>> tosses them over the crockpot to the floor, then MVs stunt hands chop up the
>> celery. because she doesn't like to cry, she dumps a ziplock bag of frozen
>> chopped onion into the mix. Grabbing a Walmart rotisserie chicken, she
>> separates the meat from the bones by hand, telling us we can use a raw chicken
>> if we wish. After lidding the crockpot, she does a quick "Me washie handsies!".
>
>good job, once again, but help me out. Maybe there should be a special
>Sandra glossary. Since I don't have television in my home, I don't get
>the references to "MV."

Thank you!

"MV" stands for "Milli Vanilli" hands, which belong to the production assistants who
I imagine do all of the real work on the show. Ever notice how most of the finished
products look much better (well, as much as is possible) than the crap Snadra throws
together? You have MV to thank for that.

--
================================================== ====================
ISLAM: Winning the hearts and minds of the world, one bomb at a time.

"Ubiquitous" > wrote in message
...
> When we return from commercial, we can tell by the graphic on the screen
> that
> it's now "Sandra's Cocktail Time!". She enters stage right with a bottle
> of
> booze in hand and announces the "hottie sangria", which is made with a
> white
> wine and a red wine. She adds a bottle of white AND red wine into a
> cooker,
> then adds a generous cup of brandy. She adds simple syrup and a couple
> cinnamon
> sticks, a sliced-up orange, and frozen cherries and frozen peaches.

....in very vague quantities: she says a cup of cherries and a cup of
peaches, but measures out an entire Pyrex measuring jug of each.

James

In article >, wrote:
>"Ubiquitous" > wrote:

>> When we return from commercial, we can tell by the graphic on the screen
>> that it's now "Sandra's Cocktail Time!". She enters stage right with a
>> bottle of booze in hand and announces the "hottie sangria", which is
>> made with a white wine and a red wine. She adds a bottle of white AND
>> red wine into a cooker, then adds a generous cup of brandy. She adds
>> simple syrup and a couple cinnamon sticks, a sliced-up orange, and frozen
>> cherries and frozen peaches.
>
>...in very vague quantities: she says a cup of cherries and a cup of
>peaches, but measures out an entire Pyrex measuring jug of each.

She sure does that a LOT, especially with the booze.


--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss
Lee.

Ubiquitous wrote:

She chops the dirty ribs and tops off, and
> tosses them over the crockpot to the floor, then MVs stunt hands chop up the
> celery.

Who or what is MV?

Grabbing a Walmart rotisserie chicken, she
> separates the meat from the bones by hand, telling us we can use a raw chicken
> if we wish.

What she did to make a slow cooker chicken soup illustrates the poor
planning or conceptualization of this show. First, why would one want
to cook canned soup on "high" for 3 hours in a cooker when 10 minutes
on the stove top would do the job very well? Secondly, why boil
already cooked/roasted chicken for 3 hours? That chicken will be
tasteless, the texture terrible. There just wasn't any point to her
preparing canned soup the way she did.


> When we return from commercial, SLop exclaims "We are going to slow
cook the
> fast way!" <snip> one is sppsd to put the vegetables on the bottom, but she says
> that everything will cook down into the roast and lids it.

I think SL and/or SL's producers think the viewers are rather stupid.
At the end of the program when the pot roast is removed all those
chunky vegetables were at the bottom of the pot. Not one piece was left
on top of the roast. There was no room for any pieces to slip by the
roast to settle on the bottom. Her presentation was a "bait and
switch". In addition, I strongly suspect that her pot roast had been
browned...which certainly hadn't been done on the show when the hunk of
meat was dropped into the pot.


> When we return from commercial, we can tell by the graphic on the screen that
> it's now "Sandra's Cocktail Time!". She enters stage right with a bottle of
> booze in hand and announces the "hottie sangria", which is made with a white
> wine and a red wine. <snip> Big mugs you got
> there. As she decants the so-called sangria into a pair of glass beer steins,
> she warns us to use heat-proof glasses <snip>

Aside from the astonishing size of the mugs for the hot wine, she
dribbles wine from the ladle onto the outside of the mug...both mugs
were dripping wine from the bottom when she put them down.

I wonder if SL pays TFN to run the show. On other cooking shows the
planning, conceptualization, and execution ranges from quite competent
to quite slick and competent. The other shows make culinary sense:
there's no slight-of-hand, no gimmicks. It can't be easy to think up
and orchestrate a series of cooking shows, varying ingredients,
planning the minute steps, testing the recipes, etc., but one would
think that SL's people (and SL herself) could invest a bit more effort.

Mac

wrote:

>
> Ubiquitous wrote:
>
> She chops the dirty ribs and tops off, and
>> tosses them over the crockpot to the floor, then MVs stunt hands
>> chop up the celery.
>
> Who or what is MV?
>
> Grabbing a Walmart rotisserie chicken, she
>> separates the meat from the bones by hand, telling us we can use a
>> raw chicken if we wish.
>
> What she did to make a slow cooker chicken soup illustrates the poor
> planning or conceptualization of this show. First, why would one
> want to cook canned soup on "high" for 3 hours in a cooker when 10
> minutes on the stove top would do the job very well? Secondly, why
> boil already cooked/roasted chicken for 3 hours? That chicken will
> be tasteless, the texture terrible. There just wasn't any point to
> her preparing canned soup the way she did.
>
>
>> When we return from commercial, SLop exclaims "We are going to slow
>> cook the fast way!" <snip> one is sppsd to put the vegetables on
>> the bottom, but she says that everything will cook down into the
>> roast and lids it.
>
> I think SL and/or SL's producers think the viewers are rather stupid.
> At the end of the program when the pot roast is removed all those
> chunky vegetables were at the bottom of the pot. Not one piece was
> left on top of the roast. There was no room for any pieces to slip by
> the roast to settle on the bottom. Her presentation was a "bait and
> switch". In addition, I strongly suspect that her pot roast had been
> browned...which certainly hadn't been done on the show when the hunk
> of meat was dropped into the pot.
>
>
>> When we return from commercial, we can tell by the graphic on the
>> screen that it's now "Sandra's Cocktail Time!". She enters stage
>> right with a bottle of booze in hand and announces the "hottie
>> sangria", which is made with a white wine and a red wine. <snip> Big
>> mugs you got there. As she decants the so-called sangria into a pair
>> of glass beer steins, she warns us to use heat-proof glasses <snip>
>
> Aside from the astonishing size of the mugs for the hot wine, she
> dribbles wine from the ladle onto the outside of the mug...both mugs
> were dripping wine from the bottom when she put them down.
>
> I wonder if SL pays TFN to run the show. On other cooking shows the
> planning, conceptualization, and execution ranges from quite
> competent to quite slick and competent. The other shows make culinary
> sense: there's no slight-of-hand, no gimmicks. It can't be easy to
> think up and orchestrate a series of cooking shows, varying
> ingredients, planning the minute steps, testing the recipes, etc.,
> but one would think that SL's people (and SL herself) could invest a
> bit more effort.

I am beginning to wonder if, perhaps, she is paid by Kitchen Aid to show
off every possible color of appliance in their line.

Was it just me or did SLop actually stumble on her way to the "tablescape"??
Must have been sipping on those chunky fruit concoctions with 2 full bottles
of wine.

Lisa



"Nick" > wrote in message
...
> wrote:
>
>>
>> Ubiquitous wrote:
>>
>> She chops the dirty ribs and tops off, and
>>> tosses them over the crockpot to the floor, then MVs stunt hands
>>> chop up the celery.
>>
>> Who or what is MV?
>>
>> Grabbing a Walmart rotisserie chicken, she
>>> separates the meat from the bones by hand, telling us we can use a
>>> raw chicken if we wish.
>>
>> What she did to make a slow cooker chicken soup illustrates the poor
>> planning or conceptualization of this show. First, why would one
>> want to cook canned soup on "high" for 3 hours in a cooker when 10
>> minutes on the stove top would do the job very well? Secondly, why
>> boil already cooked/roasted chicken for 3 hours? That chicken will
>> be tasteless, the texture terrible. There just wasn't any point to
>> her preparing canned soup the way she did.
>>
>>
>>> When we return from commercial, SLop exclaims "We are going to slow
>>> cook the fast way!" <snip> one is sppsd to put the vegetables on
>>> the bottom, but she says that everything will cook down into the
>>> roast and lids it.
>>
>> I think SL and/or SL's producers think the viewers are rather stupid.
>> At the end of the program when the pot roast is removed all those
>> chunky vegetables were at the bottom of the pot. Not one piece was
>> left on top of the roast. There was no room for any pieces to slip by
>> the roast to settle on the bottom. Her presentation was a "bait and
>> switch". In addition, I strongly suspect that her pot roast had been
>> browned...which certainly hadn't been done on the show when the hunk
>> of meat was dropped into the pot.
>>
>>
>>> When we return from commercial, we can tell by the graphic on the
>>> screen that it's now "Sandra's Cocktail Time!". She enters stage
>>> right with a bottle of booze in hand and announces the "hottie
>>> sangria", which is made with a white wine and a red wine. <snip> Big
>>> mugs you got there. As she decants the so-called sangria into a pair
>>> of glass beer steins, she warns us to use heat-proof glasses <snip>
>>
>> Aside from the astonishing size of the mugs for the hot wine, she
>> dribbles wine from the ladle onto the outside of the mug...both mugs
>> were dripping wine from the bottom when she put them down.
>>
>> I wonder if SL pays TFN to run the show. On other cooking shows the
>> planning, conceptualization, and execution ranges from quite
>> competent to quite slick and competent. The other shows make culinary
>> sense: there's no slight-of-hand, no gimmicks. It can't be easy to
>> think up and orchestrate a series of cooking shows, varying
>> ingredients, planning the minute steps, testing the recipes, etc.,
>> but one would think that SL's people (and SL herself) could invest a
>> bit more effort.
>
> I am beginning to wonder if, perhaps, she is paid by Kitchen Aid to show
> off every possible color of appliance in their line.

In article <ck2Ke.251975$xm3.172621@attbi_s21>, wrote:

>Was it just me or did SLop actually stumble on her way to the "tablescape"??
>Must have been sipping on those chunky fruit concoctions with 2 full bottles
>of wine.

Nope, you weren't imagining that...

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss
Lee.

wrote:
>Ubiquitous wrote:

>> She chops the dirty ribs and tops off, and tosses them over the crockpot
>> to the floor, then MVs stunt hands chop up the celery.
>
>Who or what is MV?

Mili Vanilli, a nickname for the PA who does the 'stunt cooking" for her.

>> Grabbing a Walmart rotisserie chicken, she separates the meat from the
>> bones by hand, telling us we can use a raw chicken if we wish.
>
>What she did to make a slow cooker chicken soup illustrates the poor
>planning or conceptualization of this show. First, why would one want
>to cook canned soup on "high" for 3 hours in a cooker when 10 minutes
>on the stove top would do the job very well? Secondly, why boil
>already cooked/roasted chicken for 3 hours? That chicken will be
>tasteless, the texture terrible. There just wasn't any point to her
>preparing canned soup the way she did.

Exactly! This woman seems to take a theme and drive it into the ground,
necessary or not. See her "coffee creations" ep for another good example
of theme overkill.

>> When we return from commercial, SLop exclaims "We are going to slow
>> cook the fast way!" [...] one is sppsd to put the vegetables on the
>> bottom, but she says that everything will cook down into the roast and
>> lids it.
>
>I think SL and/or SL's producers think the viewers are rather stupid.
>At the end of the program when the pot roast is removed all those
>chunky vegetables were at the bottom of the pot. Not one piece was left
>on top of the roast. There was no room for any pieces to slip by the
>roast to settle on the bottom. Her presentation was a "bait and
>switch".

Blame MV for that bit o' magic. :-)

>In addition, I strongly suspect that her pot roast had been browned...which
>certainly hadn't been done on the show when the hunk of meat was dropped
>into the pot.

Yeah, I wondered about that too but was distracted by the sudden change
in size of the meat.

>> When we return from commercial, we can tell by the graphic on the screen
>> that it's now "Sandra's Cocktail Time!". She enters stage right with a
>> bottle of booze in hand and announces the "hottie sangria", which is made
>> with a white wine and a red wine. <snip> Big mugs you got there. As she
>> decants the so-called sangria into a pair of glass beer steins,
>> she warns us to use heat-proof glasses <snip>
>
>Aside from the astonishing size of the mugs for the hot wine, she
>dribbles wine from the ladle onto the outside of the mug...both mugs
>were dripping wine from the bottom when she put them down.

She sure loves her booze. Did you see today's ep, in which she pretty
much started chugging from the wine bottle?

>I wonder if SL pays TFN to run the show. On other cooking shows the
>planning, conceptualization, and execution ranges from quite competent
>to quite slick and competent. The other shows make culinary sense:
>there's no slight-of-hand, no gimmicks. It can't be easy to think up
>and orchestrate a series of cooking shows, varying ingredients,
>planning the minute steps, testing the recipes, etc., but one would
>think that SL's people (and SL herself) could invest a bit more effort.

Doesn't Food Network have some kind of process by which they at least test
the recipes to see if they work before they get on the air? There is no way
in hell I can see any of them making it that far.

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss
Lee.

Ubiquitous wrote:
>
> wrote:
>
> >I wonder if SL pays TFN to run the show. On other cooking shows the
> >planning, conceptualization, and execution ranges from quite competent
> >to quite slick and competent. The other shows make culinary sense:
> >there's no slight-of-hand, no gimmicks. It can't be easy to think up
> >and orchestrate a series of cooking shows, varying ingredients,
> >planning the minute steps, testing the recipes, etc., but one would
> >think that SL's people (and SL herself) could invest a bit more effort.
>
> Doesn't Food Network have some kind of process by which they at least
> test the recipes to see if they work before they get on the air? There
> is no way in hell I can see any of them making it that far.

If Food Network needs content so bad, they could do worse
than hire Ubiquitous to have his own show, which would
consist of himself sitting in a comfy chair watching
Semi-Homade on TV and making his usual comments.

At least, the production costs would be quite low.

In article >, wrote:
>Ubiquitous wrote:
>> wrote:

>> >I wonder if SL pays TFN to run the show. On other cooking shows the
>> >planning, conceptualization, and execution ranges from quite competent
>> >to quite slick and competent. The other shows make culinary sense:
>> >there's no slight-of-hand, no gimmicks. It can't be easy to think up
>> >and orchestrate a series of cooking shows, varying ingredients,
>> >planning the minute steps, testing the recipes, etc., but one would
>> >think that SL's people (and SL herself) could invest a bit more effort.
>>
>> Doesn't Food Network have some kind of process by which they at least
>> test the recipes to see if they work before they get on the air? There
>> is no way in hell I can see any of them making it that far.
>
>If Food Network needs content so bad, they could do worse
>than hire Ubiquitous to have his own show, which would
>consist of himself sitting in a comfy chair watching
>Semi-Homade on TV and making his usual comments.
>
>At least, the production costs would be quite low.

I like the way you think! If they REALLY want to go "on the cheap",
how about a superimposed silhouette at the bottom of the screen?

Nah, that'd never fly. :-)

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss
Lee.

"Ubiquitous" > wrote in message
...
> In article >, wrote:
>>Ubiquitous wrote:
>>> wrote:
>
>>> >I wonder if SL pays TFN to run the show. On other cooking shows the
>>> >planning, conceptualization, and execution ranges from quite competent
>>> >to quite slick and competent. The other shows make culinary sense:
>>> >there's no slight-of-hand, no gimmicks. It can't be easy to think up
>>> >and orchestrate a series of cooking shows, varying ingredients,
>>> >planning the minute steps, testing the recipes, etc., but one would
>>> >think that SL's people (and SL herself) could invest a bit more effort.
>>>
>>> Doesn't Food Network have some kind of process by which they at least
>>> test the recipes to see if they work before they get on the air? There
>>> is no way in hell I can see any of them making it that far.
>>
>>If Food Network needs content so bad, they could do worse
>>than hire Ubiquitous to have his own show, which would
>>consist of himself sitting in a comfy chair watching
>>Semi-Homade on TV and making his usual comments.
>>
>>At least, the production costs would be quite low.
>
> I like the way you think! If they REALLY want to go "on the cheap",
> how about a superimposed silhouette at the bottom of the screen?
>
> Nah, that'd never fly. :-)



I can't resist... everybody sing along!

In the not-too-distant future -
Next Sunday A.D.-
There was a guy named Ubiq,
Not too different from you or me.
He worked at the cable Food Network,
Just another face in a pink jumpsuit.
He did a good job cleaning up the place,
But Sandra Lee didn't like him
So she shot him into space.

She'll send him cheesy recipes
The worst she can find (la-la-la).
He'll have to sit and watch them all,
And we'll monitor his mind (la-la-la).
Now keep in mind he can't control
Where the recipes begin or end (la-la-la)
Because he used those special parts
To make his robot friends.

Robot Roll Call: (All right, let's go!)
Niecebot! (Pan left!)
Tipsy! (Hi, girl!)
Tablescape! (What a cool guy!)
Almonnnnnd! (He's a wisecracker.)

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
and other science facts (la la la),
Then repeat to yourself, "It's just a show,
I should really just relax
For "Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee 3000!"

in article , Mark Thorson at
wrote on 8/27/05 12:04 PM:

> Ubiquitous wrote:
>>
>> wrote:
>>
>>> I wonder if SL pays TFN to run the show. On other cooking shows the
>>> planning, conceptualization, and execution ranges from quite competent
>>> to quite slick and competent. The other shows make culinary sense:
>>> there's no slight-of-hand, no gimmicks. It can't be easy to think up
>>> and orchestrate a series of cooking shows, varying ingredients,
>>> planning the minute steps, testing the recipes, etc., but one would
>>> think that SL's people (and SL herself) could invest a bit more effort.
>>
>> Doesn't Food Network have some kind of process by which they at least
>> test the recipes to see if they work before they get on the air? There
>> is no way in hell I can see any of them making it that far.
>
> If Food Network needs content so bad, they could do worse
> than hire Ubiquitous to have his own show, which would
> consist of himself sitting in a comfy chair watching
> Semi-Homade on TV and making his usual comments.
>
> At least, the production costs would be quite low.

lol - mst3kSLop

--

You Can't Stop the Signal