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Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Beer Bashing
This ep begins with SLop stumbling through her front door clutching several
blurry six packs of beers. BWAH!!! I missed most of the remaining intro because I had to regain my composure and start breathing again, but damn, she looks like a haggard hillbilly with her hair like that and wearing that poop-brown ensemble, and the glamour shot of the broccoli with sauce looks vomitous. Before we bop to the opening credits, SLop proclaims "Immagona chug a beer before we start cooking!". Whee!!! Looks like we're in for quite a ride today, folks! SLop begins with beer bread for her beer fonDON'T. "Be sure to use a bread mix made with wheat", she tells us, adding "I mix my dough with a whisk [instead of a spoon] because it's faster" and then whines about how hard it is to get the dough out of afterward. SLop proudly proclaims "I went to high school in college in WI" and how everyone there loves beer and cheese. Not in the way you do, SLop. "Put in a quarter tablespoon of cayenne QUICKLY". She adds some Worcester sauce to the fonDON'T and claims that if you've been drinking beer you can't say "Worcester" five times fast. You can't say it ONCE while allegedly sober, you moron! Wait, did she say it correctly? Her way of determining how much liquid to use for poaching the fish: Put fish in pan, fill pan with water, remove fish, add a bottle of beer, old bay and TEN peppercorns (gotta be exact because they're strong), replace the fish, and squeeze in a lemon and simmer. Let's all sing the Hokey-Pokey Haddock! You put the haddock in You take the haddock out You add a little beer and you stir it all about Squeeze a little lemon Let it simmer for awhile THAT'S what it's all a-bout! She CUTS her broccoli into tiny flowerets but uses pre-chopped onion? Sandie kept saying "This is the best beer-ricotta-chive sauce you have ever dreamed of." Sorry, but given a choice, I would never have dreamed of such a combination. Do they make ricotta cheese in WI? Anywho, that sauce looked vomitous. "Today is all about beer, so you couldn't have an entire beer meal without a rootbeer float, could you?" Hunh? SLop then tells us she's going to make these root beer floats "with a TWIST!", and repeats she makes a "Very very root beer float with a LOT of twists". "I'm going to add something savory". SAVORY? Pretzels? In a float? SLop has difficulty scooping out the ice cream (apparenty her hot water trick didn't work), so she nukes it. SLop then shares her twelve-step pretezel coating technique with us. For Pete's sake, lady, you're only coating pretzels with melted chocolate chips! Suddenly, SLop exclaims "OOOH! I think I entered '20 minutes' intead of '20 seconds'!!!!" and she rushes over to rescue the ice cream. BWAHAHAHA! Moron. SLop pours the root beer and cream soda into the cup of ice cream and warns us to be "thoughtful" when pouring it, as it starts to overflow the cup. After a quick cut-away, she explains that she uses cream soda for a hint of vanilla flaovour, then dumps in some doctored vanilla cool whip for extra measure. As we bop out to commercial, SLop threatens us with a cocktail. When we return from commercial, we can tell by the graphic on the screen that it's now "Sandra's Cocktail Time!". Sandra announces she's going to make Beer Bloody Marys. Oh, bloody hell! She tells us to get ice from the freezer because you want them VERY cold. She grabs some V8 and two blurry bottles of beer and dumps them into a pitcher, making a loud "Whoot!" as it foams up over the top. She then explains that stirring with a wooden stick [sic] will dissolve the bubbles,and suddenly the foam is gone! She rub rims of the glasses with lemon, then puts some celary salt in bowl. She starts to pour the drink into the glasses and suddenly she's salting the empty glasses. She mumbles something about only wanting the ice in the pitcher to keep the drink cold but then adds ice from the sink to the glasses and the pitcher. And now, the tablescape portion of our show: Beer coaster boookay (Several beer coasters glued to skewers)! Inverted serving trays with coasters glued to them! Buy all the unusual beer bottles in your supermarket and display them on your shelves! Take off the labels and use them as receipe gift cards for your guests! Yeah, I think she's totally lost it... -- WARNING!!! Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget, standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the "food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee. |
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Ubiquitous wrote:
> This ep begins with SLop stumbling through her front door clutching > several blurry six packs of beers. This sounds like a great beginning to a great dream.  |
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,
" > wrote: > wrote: > > >That root beer float was the most revolting thing I've seen in my life, > >and > >since I've found Snadra, that's saying something. > > > >Just had to add, what in the world makes her think chocolate dipped > >pretzels > >are a good idea in a root beer float. > > All I can say is (avert your eyes if you're the sensitive type) HOLY > MOTHER OF > ****! > > A "root beer float" that includes root beer, actual beer, and > cherry-chocolate-chip ice cream? Holy crap- that's a real recipe? Even from SLop that seems extreme. On my drunkest nights as a college freshman, you couldn't have gotten me to try this-- even on a dare. For a real - money kind of a dare. Jeez. I had a friend who would mix up shite like beer and vanilla ice-cream and try to pass the " concoctions" off as hangover cures- we all felt the crushing pain and waves of nausea were preferable to beer and vanilla ice cream. Had she had access to this SLop-tacious " recipe" and tried to hand it out to us and told us what was in it, I am POSITIVE we'd have all puked our guts out. So, is anybody here brave enough to try it ( with or sans hangover) and report in? >That's all I need to hear; the > chocolate-dipped pretzels are positively sane in comparison. > > What the hell is wrong with this heinous bint?!? > > -- Miranda Writes, Devil's Advocate a.a. # 1596 EAC State Bar # 666 AFJC/ARC Denizen of Darkness# $665.99 Damned by Dore # 3:16 Abogada CUSSARD Numero Uno Proud Alumna Fashion Princess and Club Partier Snobby Obnoxious Bitch# 1 (envy isn't attractive, dear) |
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On Sat, 20 Aug 2005 20:44:53 GMT, "Miranda Writes, Devil's Advocate"
> wrote: >> A "root beer float" that includes root beer, actual beer, and >> cherry-chocolate-chip ice cream? > >Holy crap- that's a real recipe? Even from SLop that seems extreme. > On my drunkest nights as a college freshman, you couldn't have gotten >me to try this-- even on a dare. For a real - money kind of a dare. >Jeez. I had a friend who would mix up shite like beer and vanilla >ice-cream and try to pass the " concoctions" off as hangover cures- >we all felt the crushing pain and waves of nausea were preferable to >beer and vanilla ice cream. Had she had access to this SLop-tacious >" recipe" and tried to hand it out to us and told us what was in it, I >am POSITIVE we'd have all puked our guts out. > >So, is anybody here brave enough to try it ( with or sans hangover) and >report in? It didn't have real beer, just rootbeer, cream soda and the cherry chip ice cream, which combined is gross enough. pepsi |
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On Wed, 14 Sep 2005 04:30:29 -0500, aham pls >
wrote: >In article >, wrote: >> >>In article >, wrote: >> >>>That root beer float was the most revolting thing I've seen in my life, and >>>since I've found Snadra, that's saying something. >>> >>>Just had to add, what in the world makes her think chocolate dipped pretzels >>>are a good idea in a root beer float. >> >>All I can say is (avert your eyes if you're the sensitive type) HOLY MOTHER OF >>****! >> >>A "root beer float" that includes root beer, actual beer, and >>cherry-chocolate-chip ice cream? That's all I need to hear; the >>chocolate-dipped pretzels are positively sane in comparison. > >Especially since they (pretzel sticks) are strategically placed to poke you in >the eye when you try to drink that abomination. > >Hubby and I watched yesterday. His comment: Bitch seriously likes to drink, >doesn't she? Why does she try to cook? Why doesn't she just re-name the show >"Semi Homemade Drinks" or "I'm a no talent lush?" > >The sound guys were trying to drown her out at the end when she was showing her >tablescape. When I was at college (George Mason University) the guys across the >hall from me had one whole wall of their living room covered in beer cans. I >have no idea how they stuck them to the walls, though I have a feeling that it >involved duct tape. They had a little card taped to a can, like you would see >under a picture in a museum that told the reader how many beer cans there were, >and the approximate value of all of the beer. > >As funny, and tacky, as that was it wasn't as tacky as say...telling people to >print recipes on beer bottle labels and giving them as party favors, or having >a coaster bookay. > >My neighbors were 18 year old college guys. What's Sandy's excuse?? Gz's ! I chuckle at all the comments people post about her show and have always thought that ppl beat her up too much. But after hearing what she did to a poor inocent berr, well that's where she crosses the line with me!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF did that poor beer do to her???? That's it! Sandra it on my permant shit list!!!!! The only way she can get back in my good graces is to show up at my front door, a beer in each hand. Did I mention she also would have to be naked and dipped in chocolate? |
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Posted to rec.arts.tv,alt.tv.food-network,rec.food.cooking
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Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Beer Bashing
This ep begins with SLop stumbling through her front door clutching several
blurry six packs of beers. BWAH!!! I missed most of the remaining intro because I had to regain my composure and start breathing again, but damn, she looks like a haggard hillbilly with her hair like that and wearing that poop-brown ensemble, and the glamour shot of the broccoli with sauce looks vomitous. Before we bop to the opening credits, SLop proclaims "Immagona chug a beer before we start cooking!". Whee!!! Looks like we're in for quite a ride today,folks! SLop begins with beer bread for her beer fonDON'T. "Be sure to use a bread mix made with wheat", she tells us, adding "I mix my dough with a whisk [instead of a spoon] because it's faster" and then whines about how hard it is to get the dough out of afterward. SLop proudly proclaims "I went to high school in college in WI" and how everyone there loves beer and cheese. Not in the way you do, SLop. "Put in a quarter tablespoon of cayenne QUICKLY". She adds some Worcester sauce to the fonDON'T and claims that if you've been drinking beer you can't say "Worcester" five times fast. You can't say it ONCE while allegedly sober, you moron! Wait, did she say it correctly? Her way of determining how much liquid to use for poaching the fish: Put fish in pan, fill pan with water, remove fish, add a bottle of beer, old bay and TEN peppercorns (gotta be exact because they're strong), replace the fish, and squeeze in a lemon and simmer. Let's all sing the Hokey-Pokey Haddock! You put the haddock in You take the haddock out You add a little beer and you stir it all about Squeeze a little lemon Let it simmer for awhile THAT'S what it's all a-bout! She CUTS her broccoli into tiny flowerets but uses pre-chopped onion? Sandie kept saying "This is the best beer-ricotta-chive sauce you have ever dreamed of." Sorry, but given a choice, I would never have dreamed of such a combination. Do they make ricotta cheese in WI? Anywho, that sauce looked vomitous. "Today is all about beer, so you couldn't have an entire beer meal without a rootbeer float, could you?" Hunh? SLop then tells us she's going to make these root beer floats "with a TWIST!", and repeats she makes a "Very very root beer float with a LOT of twists". "I'm going to add something savory". SAVORY? Pretzels? In a float? SLop has difficulty scooping out the ice cream (apparenty her hot water trick didn't work), so she nukes it. SLop then shares her twelve-step pretezel coating technique with us. For Pete's sake, lady, you're only coating pretzels with melted chocolate chips! Suddenly, SLop exclaims "OOOH! I think I entered '20 minutes' intead of '20 seconds'!!!!" and she rushes over to rescue the ice cream. BWAHAHAHA! Moron. SLop pours the root beer and cream soda into the cup of ice cream and warns us to be "thoughtful" when pouring it, as it starts to overflow the cup. After a quick cut-away, she explains that she uses cream soda for a hint of vanilla flaovour, then dumps in some doctored vanilla cool whip for extra measure. As we bop out to commercial, SLop threatens us with a cocktail. When we return from commercial, we can tell by the graphic on the screen that it's now "Sandra's Cocktail Time!". Sandra announces she's going to make Beer Bloody Marys. Oh, bloody hell! She tells us to get ice from the freezer because you want them VERY cold. She grabs some V8 and two blurry bottles of beer and dumps them into a pitcher, making a loud "Whoot!" as it foams up over the top. She then explains that stirring with a wooden stick [sic] will dissolve the bubbles,and suddenly the foam is gone! She rub rims of the glasses with lemon, then puts some celary salt in bowl. She starts to pour the drink into the glasses and suddenly she's salting the empty glasses. She mumbles something about only wanting the ice in the pitcher to keep the drink cold but then adds ice from the sink to the glasses and the pitcher. And now, the tablescape portion of our show: Beer coaster boookay (Several beer coasters glued to skewers)! Inverted serving trays with coasters glued to them! Buy all the unusual beer bottles in your supermarket and display them on your shelves! Take off the labels and use them as receipe gift cards for your guests! Yeah, I think she's totally lost it... -- WARNING!!! Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget, standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the "food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee. |
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Posted to rec.arts.tv,alt.tv.food-network,rec.food.cooking
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Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Beer Bashing
On 10/11/2017 6:50 AM, Ubiquitous wrote:
> Yeah, I think she's totally lost it... > Eat this.. https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CC-binIWAAAKS65.jpg |
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