Real women -vs- Ladies

Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine.

Freeze into ice cubes for
future use in casseroles and sauces.

Real Women - Leftover wine?? Hello!!


************************************************** **********

Ladies - Cure for headaches:

Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on
your forehead.
The throbbing will go away.

Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink.

You might still have the headache,
but who the hell cares!


************************************************** ***********


Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to
prevent ice cream drips.

Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for
Pete's sake. You are probably lying on your ass on the couch, with your
feet up anyway.


************************************************** ***********
Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with
the potatoes.


Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to worry
about
the potatoes growing arms and legs.

************************************************** ***********
Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a
bit of
the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white powdery mess on
the bottom of the cake.


Real Women - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate the son of a bitch
for you.


************************************************** ***********
Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to
yield a beautiful glossy finish.


Real Women - Sara Lee frozen freakin pie directions do not include
brushing egg whites, so don't do it.

************************************************** ***********
Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex
dishwashing gloves.
They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

Real Women - Go ask the very HOT neighbour guy to do it.


************************************************** ***********
And finally the most important tip....
************************************************** ***********

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...... but, a true
friend
will be sitting next to you saying,

"Damn... that was fun!!





--
Jen

Jen wrote:

>
>
>
> Real women -vs- Ladies
>
> Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine.
>
> Freeze into ice cubes for
> future use in casseroles and sauces.
>
> Real Women - Leftover wine?? Hello!!
>
>
> ************************************************** **********
>
> Ladies - Cure for headaches:
>
> Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on
> your forehead.
> The throbbing will go away.
>
> Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink.
>
> You might still have the headache,
> but who the hell cares!
>
>
> ************************************************** ***********
>
>
> Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar
> cone to
> prevent ice cream drips.
>
> Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the
> cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on your ass on the
> couch, with your feet up anyway.
>
>
> ************************************************** ***********
> Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag
> with the potatoes.
>
>
> Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to
> worry
> about
> the potatoes growing arms and legs.
>
> ************************************************** ***********
> Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use
> a
> bit of
> the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white powdery mess
> on the bottom of the cake.
>
>
> Real Women - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate the son of a
> bitch
> for you.
>
>
> ************************************************** ***********
> Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking
> to
> yield a beautiful glossy finish.
>
>
> Real Women - Sara Lee frozen freakin pie directions do not include
> brushing egg whites, so don't do it.
>
> ************************************************** ***********
> Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex
> dishwashing gloves.
> They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
>
> Real Women - Go ask the very HOT neighbour guy to do it.
>
>
> ************************************************** ***********
> And finally the most important tip....
> ************************************************** ***********
>
> A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...... but, a true
> friend
> will be sitting next to you saying,
>
> "Damn... that was fun!!


Damn... that was funny!!

Andy

Wonderful Jen thanks)))

"Jen" > wrote in message
...
>
>
>
> Real women -vs- Ladies
>
> Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine.
>
> Freeze into ice cubes for
> future use in casseroles and sauces.
>
> Real Women - Leftover wine?? Hello!!
>
>
> ************************************************** **********
>
> Ladies - Cure for headaches:
>
> Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on
> your forehead.
> The throbbing will go away.
>
> Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink.
>
> You might still have the headache,
> but who the hell cares!
>
>
> ************************************************** ***********
>
>
> Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar
> cone to
> prevent ice cream drips.
>
> Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone,
> for
> Pete's sake. You are probably lying on your ass on the couch, with
> your
> feet up anyway.
>
>
> ************************************************** ***********
> Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag
> with
> the potatoes.
>
>
> Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to
> worry about
> the potatoes growing arms and legs.
>
> ************************************************** ***********
> Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use
> a bit of
> the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white powdery mess
> on
> the bottom of the cake.
>
>
> Real Women - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate the son of a
> bitch for you.
>
>
> ************************************************** ***********
> Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking
> to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
>
>
> Real Women - Sara Lee frozen freakin pie directions do not include
> brushing egg whites, so don't do it.
>
> ************************************************** ***********
> Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex
> dishwashing gloves.
> They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
>
> Real Women - Go ask the very HOT neighbour guy to do it.
>
>
> ************************************************** ***********
> And finally the most important tip....
> ************************************************** ***********
>
> A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...... but, a true
> friend
> will be sitting next to you saying,
>
> "Damn... that was fun!!
>
>
>
>
>
> --
> Jen
>

Thanks for sharing this funny text...

Got to send this one to my mate in Oz!
Sarah
"Jen" > wrote in message
...
>
>
>
> Real women -vs- Ladies
>
> Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine.
>
> Freeze into ice cubes for
> future use in casseroles and sauces.
>
> Real Women - Leftover wine?? Hello!!
>
>
> ************************************************** **********
>
> Ladies - Cure for headaches:
>
> Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on
> your forehead.
> The throbbing will go away.
>
> Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink.
>
> You might still have the headache,
> but who the hell cares!
>
>
> ************************************************** ***********
>
>
> Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone
> to
> prevent ice cream drips.
>
> Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for
> Pete's sake. You are probably lying on your ass on the couch, with your
> feet up anyway.
>
>
> ************************************************** ***********
> Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with
> the potatoes.
>
>
> Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to worry
> about
> the potatoes growing arms and legs.
>
> ************************************************** ***********
> Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a
> bit of
> the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white powdery mess on
> the bottom of the cake.
>
>
> Real Women - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate the son of a
> bitch for you.
>
>
> ************************************************** ***********
> Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to
> yield a beautiful glossy finish.
>
>
> Real Women - Sara Lee frozen freakin pie directions do not include
> brushing egg whites, so don't do it.
>
> ************************************************** ***********
> Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex
> dishwashing gloves.
> They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
>
> Real Women - Go ask the very HOT neighbour guy to do it.
>
>
> ************************************************** ***********
> And finally the most important tip....
> ************************************************** ***********
>
> A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...... but, a true
> friend
> will be sitting next to you saying,
>
> "Damn... that was fun!!
>
>
>
>
>
> --
> Jen
>

> wrote in message
ps.com...
> Thanks for sharing this funny text...
>

You're welcome.

--
Jen