Ubiquitous wrote:

> In article >,
> wrote:
>> Ubiquitous wrote:
>>> wrote:
>
>>>> GO HAM!!!!!!
>>>
>>> I just _loved_ how she put a menorah next to the ham on that table.
>>
>> She didn't... tell me you're fibbin'? Please? Oh god.
>
> One of many...
>
> Once she made a "Hannuka cake" by stuffing marshmallows in the center
> and covering it over with baby blue tinted canned frosting.
>
> She once refered to a buddah statue she used in her tablescape as "My
> Buddah; She's Faux".
>
> Etc.


I believe she referred to the statue, which wasn't even Buddha, as a
"Bhudda goddess".

in article , Michael "Dog3" Lonergan
at wrote on 12/19/05 11:52 AM:

> (Ubiquitous) looking for trouble wrote in
> :
>
>> wrote:
>>
>>> I saw just a few minutes of this Saturday afternoon, so I can't comment
>>> completely on the whole show. Have no fear, FN will repeat this
>>> 'treasure' again sometime this week.
>>
>> You mean "all month", don't you? :-D
>>
>>> However, I did see that ham! At first I couldn't determine what it was
>>> until she 'basted' it. I'ver never seen such DEEP cuts into a ham!!
>>> What did that pig ever do to her? That ham looked extremely fatty,
>>> too.
>>
>> Porcoine blooming onion. Yum!
>>
>>> Also, that sweet potato pie or whatever it was she was making looked
>>> smushed down and like nothing I've ever seen *anybody* do.
>>
>> I sppse we can count ourselves lucky she didn't call it a soufle, like
>> she did when she made this in the "French Farce" ep.
>>
>
> Is this the same episode she made those God awful styrofoam dolls and Xmas
> trees? I sat through the segement mesmerized. Seriously, would anyone
> even eat those macaroons off of a styrofoam thing wrapped in foil? Not to
> mention how Gawd awful they looked. That part of the episode looked like
> it was geared towards kindergarteners.

And made them to look like each guest, so you were supposed to want to eat
your own face. At least switch 'em around so you're eating each other!

We decided the tinfoil cone was just a base for making them and not part of
the final 'treat'

>
> Michael <- flipped the channel

--

You Can't Stop the Signal
SERENITY on DVD December 20th
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000BW7QWW

Michael "Dog3" Lonergan wrote:
>
> Is this the same episode she made those God awful styrofoam dolls and
> Xmas trees? I sat through the segement mesmerized. Seriously, would
> anyone even eat those macaroons off of a styrofoam thing wrapped in
> foil? Not to mention how Gawd awful they looked. That part of the
> episode looked like it was geared towards kindergarteners.


Funny you should mention that. My wife recently picked up a children's
cookbook called "Pretend Soup" and as I was looking through it I couldn't
help thinking that the recipes were exactly the sort of thing that Sandra
would make on her show.

Here is a link to the book:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/188...35019202/sr=8-
1/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-9905886-8677720?n=507846&s=books&v=glance

Here is a smaller version of the link if the big one doesn't work:
http://tinyurl.com/b32zr

Ubiquitous wrote:
> Shortly after, we also see Ruth Reichel (Editor
> of Gourmet Magazine) denouncing SLop's culinary crimes. Well, actually,
> she's just shilling her magazine, which strikes me as an odd place to do it.
>

Did Ruth Reichl actually say something about SL?

In article >,
wrote:
(Ubiquitous) looking for trouble wrote in
:
>
>> wrote:
>>
>>>I saw just a few minutes of this Saturday afternoon, so I can't comment
>>>completely on the whole show. Have no fear, FN will repeat this
>>>'treasure' again sometime this week.
>>
>> You mean "all month", don't you? :-D
>>
>>>However, I did see that ham! At first I couldn't determine what it was
>>>until she 'basted' it. I'ver never seen such DEEP cuts into a ham!!
>>>What did that pig ever do to her? That ham looked extremely fatty,
>>>too.
>>
>> Porcoine blooming onion. Yum!
>>
>>>Also, that sweet potato pie or whatever it was she was making looked
>>>smushed down and like nothing I've ever seen *anybody* do.
>>
>> I sppse we can count ourselves lucky she didn't call it a soufle, like
>> she did when she made this in the "French Farce" ep.
>>
>
>Is this the same episode she made those God awful styrofoam dolls and Xmas
>trees? I sat through the segement mesmerized. Seriously, would anyone
>even eat those macaroons off of a styrofoam thing wrapped in foil? Not to
>mention how Gawd awful they looked. That part of the episode looked like
>it was geared towards kindergarteners.

you mean that thing with the red hot tits? was it ment to be eaten?

(Ubiquitous) writes:

wrote:

>>GO HAM!!!!!!

>I just _loved_ how she put a menorah next to the ham on that table.

Tell me you're kidding.
On second thought, don't. This is much funnier. Dangit, I wish they
would re-show that episode!

Stacia

In article <73-8$$$vz$9o6@d25vnikaqx>, wrote:
>In article >, wrote:

>>SLop returns to tell us that no holiday is complete without cookies and
>>cocktails, which is a good thing because someone forgot to put up the
>>"Cocktail Time!" graphic, then procedes to make a "Santa Slay" with a cup
>>of brandy, a cup of Ameretto and two cups of eggnog, except that's not
>>eggnog; it's a container of eggnog-flavored coffemate! When she dumps it in,
>>it appears to be curdled.
>
>And TWO BOTTLES of it! I love me my Coffee Mate French Vanilla creamer, but
>two tablespoons in my coffee is enough to leave me not wanting to add any more
>sugar. But anyway—can someone tell me if I imagined this: When she poured out
>the first bottle into the blender, did it appear to anyone else that the
>creamer had curdled and a giant white phlegm-y thing plopped into the booze
>that was already in the blender? I swear I saw that—but then again, maybe I
>was just expecting it.

You weren't imagining things. I think she even put dibs on it, claiming
the lumpy parts were her favorite.

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee.

In article >, wrote:

>We caught some of her Xmas special.

Only some? Shame on you!

>We were laughing hysterically at her roast. First she puts it in a flimsy
>disposable foil pan (and not on a rack) that she has to put in a regular
>baking pan. What has she accomplished there? Why not put it in the regular
>pan in the first place, with out without tinfoil?
>
>Then she cooks it at moderately low heat for an hour, turns OFF the oven,
>and leaves it sitting in the oven for 2 hours! Unless her oven has amazing
>insulation, the whole thing has got to be down to room temperature by now.
>Then using hot gloves she doesn't need, she takes it out and sets it on the
>counter, uncovered, TO REST. It's BEEN resting for quite some time lady.
>And now she's definitely serving room temperature roast.

I introduced a friend who spent the night to all that is SLop.
He's hooked, heh heh.

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee.

In article >,
wrote:

>Is this show for REAL?!?!?
>Please tell me someone is trying to rip-off Brini...

Oh, if only it were some sort of intentional joke, but it's serious.
Well, as serious as a show about someone who thinks embelishing a box
of Kraft dinner is cooking can be.

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee.

In article >,
wrote:

>Is this the same episode she made those God awful styrofoam dolls and Xmas
>trees? I sat through the segement mesmerized. Seriously, would anyone
>even eat those macaroons off of a styrofoam thing wrapped in foil? Not to
>mention how Gawd awful they looked. That part of the episode looked like
>it was geared towards kindergarteners.

Oh, that was an entirely different show. For some reason they decided to
give her an hour long special, and yes, it's just as poorly-executed as
her 30 minute show. I always laugh at the pitcher's mound she made (some
sort of cheese dip obscured with dill) and the uncomfortable moments
with her family and "Cuhlean" (her drunkard "friend").

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee.

In article >, wrote:
>in article , Michael "Dog3" Lonergan
>at wrote on 12/19/05 11:52 AM:

>> Is this the same episode she made those God awful styrofoam dolls and Xmas
>> trees? I sat through the segement mesmerized. Seriously, would anyone
>> even eat those macaroons off of a styrofoam thing wrapped in foil? Not to
>> mention how Gawd awful they looked. That part of the episode looked like
>> it was geared towards kindergarteners.
>
>And made them to look like each guest, so you were supposed to want to eat
>your own face. At least switch 'em around so you're eating each other!

Who the heck is going to eat a big wad of marzipan covered with sugar,
anyway? You just know SLop doomed poor Brycer to being the most beat-up
kid in America, right?

--
The making of a "sweet little Brycer angel" with his "pretty little mouth"
and dressing the Brycer angel in a powder blue polka dotted SKIRT just
sealed his fate as the most beat-up kid in America.
- Keckler on "Sandra Lee's Semi-Homemade Holiday"

wrote:
>Michael "Dog3" Lonergan wrote:

>> Is this the same episode she made those God awful styrofoam dolls and
>> Xmas trees? I sat through the segement mesmerized. Seriously, would
>> anyone even eat those macaroons off of a styrofoam thing wrapped in
>> foil? Not to mention how Gawd awful they looked. That part of the
>> episode looked like it was geared towards kindergarteners.
>
>Funny you should mention that. My wife recently picked up a children's
>cookbook called "Pretend Soup" and as I was looking through it I couldn't
>help thinking that the recipes were exactly the sort of thing that Sandra
>would make on her show.
>
>Here is a link to the book:
>http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/188...35019202/sr=8-
>1/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-9905886-8677720?n=507846&s=books&v=glance
>
>Here is a smaller version of the link if the big one doesn't work:
>http://tinyurl.com/b32zr

How very appropriate for SLop!

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee.

In article >,
wrote:
>"Bill Coker" > looking for trouble wrote in
:
>> wrote:

>>>Is this the same episode she made those God awful styrofoam dolls and
>>>Xmas trees? I sat through the segement mesmerized. Seriously, would
>>>anyone even eat those macaroons off of a styrofoam thing wrapped in
>>>foil? Not to mention how Gawd awful they looked. That part of the
>>>episode looked like it was geared towards kindergarteners.
>>
>> you mean that thing with the red hot tits? was it ment to be eaten?
>>
>
>She said they were delicious. I assume it was meant for food. I'd throw
>it in the trash can myself.

I figured she was talking about the 1/2 pound bag of granulated sugar
she dumped under it as "snow".

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee.

In article >, wrote:
(Ubiquitous) writes:
wrote:

>>>GO HAM!!!!!!
>
>>I just _loved_ how she put a menorah next to the ham on that table.
>
> Tell me you're kidding.
> On second thought, don't. This is much funnier. Dangit, I wish they
> would re-show that episode!

I'm sure it will eventually...

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss
Lee.

In article >,
wrote:
>Ubiquitous wrote:
>> In article >,
>> wrote:
>>> Ubiquitous wrote:
>>>> wrote:
>>
>>>>> GO HAM!!!!!!
>>>>
>>>> I just _loved_ how she put a menorah next to the ham on that table.
>>>
>>> She didn't... tell me you're fibbin'? Please? Oh god.
>>
>> One of many...
>>
>> Once she made a "Hannuka cake" by stuffing marshmallows in the center
>> and covering it over with baby blue tinted canned frosting.
>>
>> She once refered to a buddah statue she used in her tablescape as "My
>> Buddah; She's Faux".
>>
>> Etc.
>
>I believe she referred to the statue, which wasn't even Buddha, as a
>"Bhudda goddess".

Yes, the statue wasn't Buddah (I used to know who), but she did
describe it as quoted. IIRC, the statue made a second appearance
in one of her tablescapes, but I no longer recall which one. I don't
think it was the one in which she placed four foot tall funerary urns
"from her bookshelf" in the middle of her dining room table.

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss
Lee.

in article , Ubiquitous at
wrote on 12/30/05 8:33 AM:

> In article >, wrote:
>> in article , Michael "Dog3" Lonergan
>> at wrote on 12/19/05 11:52 AM:
>
>>> Is this the same episode she made those God awful styrofoam dolls and Xmas
>>> trees? I sat through the segement mesmerized. Seriously, would anyone
>>> even eat those macaroons off of a styrofoam thing wrapped in foil? Not to
>>> mention how Gawd awful they looked. That part of the episode looked like
>>> it was geared towards kindergarteners.
>>
>> And made them to look like each guest, so you were supposed to want to eat
>> your own face. At least switch 'em around so you're eating each other!
>
> Who the heck is going to eat a big wad of marzipan covered with sugar,
> anyway?

That fat space princess in LOST IN SPACE. She *lived* for marzipan.

You just know SLop doomed poor Brycer to being the most beat-up
> kid in America, right?

--

You Can't Stop the Signal
SERENITY Amazon.com Sales Rank: #1 in DVD
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/AS...vshowsondvdcom

ANIM8Rfsk > wrote in
:

>> Who the heck is going to eat a big wad of marzipan covered with
>> sugar, anyway?
>
> That fat space princess in LOST IN SPACE. She *lived* for
> marzipan.

She was Danish?

--

"Et nunc reges intelligite erudmini, qui judicatis terram."

"Rancor is an outpouring of a feeling of inferiority."

Jose Ortega Y Gasset

In article .com>,
wrote:
>Ubiquitous wrote:

>> Shortly after, we also see Ruth Reichel (Editor of Gourmet Magazine)
>> denouncing SLop's culinary crimes. Well, actually,she's just shilling her
>> magazine, which strikes me as an odd place to do it.
>
>Did Ruth Reichl actually say something about SL?

Ummm, no, she just shilled her magazine. Talk about bad placement!

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee.

In article .com>,
" > wrote:

> I only saw a few minutes of the show, but she didn't make the cuts in
> the ham 2 inches deep, she stated clearly that she was making the
> scoring 2 inches apart.


It's pretty clearly 2" deep. Here are some screen caps (along with
pictures of clove placement):

<http://homepage.mac.com/scott_r/slee.html>

--
to respond (OT only), change "spamless.invalid" to "optonline.net"

<http://www.thecoffeefaq.com/>

Scott wrote:
> It's pretty clearly 2" deep. Here are some screen caps (along with
> pictures of clove placement):
>
> <http://homepage.mac.com/scott_r/slee.html>

Very nice work, Scott!

Can you please post a few screen shots of the finished ("cooked")
ham - not the Milli Vanilli one? To me, that is easily the *most*
disgusting thing I have =ever= seen on Semi-Homade. If you do post
those pics, you may want to add a disclaimer such as: 'DO NOT CLICK
HERE WITHOUT BARF BAG!', or 'VIEW ONLY ON AN EMPTY STOMACH!'

Thanks,
andy

In article .com>,
"bizook" > wrote:

> Can you please post a few screen shots of the finished ("cooked")
> ham - not the Milli Vanilli one? To me, that is easily the *most*
> disgusting thing I have =ever= seen on Semi-Homade. If you do post
> those pics, you may want to add a disclaimer such as: 'DO NOT CLICK
> HERE WITHOUT BARF BAG!', or 'VIEW ONLY ON AN EMPTY STOMACH!'


<homepage.mac.com/scott_r/Ham/ham.html>

View at your own risk.

--
to respond (OT only), change "spamless.invalid" to "optonline.net"

<http://www.thecoffeefaq.com/>

Scott posted:
>
> <homepage.mac.com/scott_r/Ham/ham.html>
>
> View at your own risk.

It's a stegosaurus...no...wait.....an armadillo - yeah that's it -
an armadillo. No, no...it's JFK's head.

AFTER the autopsy!

-andy

In article >,
(Ubiquitous) wrote:

>
> I just _loved_ how she put a menorah next to the ham on that table.


I thought I posted about this, but I guess not.

I can't find this scene. The last appearance of the ham was in this
scene:
<page.mac.com/scott_r/hamontable.jpg>

The decorated table appears sans ham (desserts only):
<http://homepage.mac.com/scott_r/table.jpg>

The only time I saw a menorah was a scene right before a commercial (a
"next..." segment), with a quick pan over one. Little else on the table
was shown, except for some pine boughs, and possibly a Christmas
decoration:
<http://homepage.mac.com/scott_r/menorah1.jpg>
<http://homepage.mac.com/scott_r/menorah2.jpg>

The first cap is the lowest they go on the pan (which starts at the
bottom and goes up to 2 and a little higher).

--
to respond (OT only), change "spamless.invalid" to "optonline.net"

<http://www.thecoffeefaq.com/>

Did you record the show and then convert to jpgs? How did you do it?
What software/hardware did you use?


````````````````

On Wed, 04 Jan 2006 11:58:42 -0500, Scott wrote:

>
> The only time I saw a menorah was a scene right before a commercial (a
> "next..." segment), with a quick pan over one. Little else on the table
> was shown, except for some pine boughs, and possibly a Christmas
> decoration:
> <http://homepage.mac.com/scott_r/menorah1.jpg>
> <http://homepage.mac.com/scott_r/menorah2.jpg>
>
> The first cap is the lowest they go on the pan (which starts at the
> bottom and goes up to 2 and a little higher).

--

Practice safe eating. Always use condiments.

In article >,
sf > wrote:

> Did you record the show and then convert to jpgs? How did you do it?
> What software/hardware did you use?

Sorry, I was out of town.

I used an EyeTV 200 to record the show on my Mac; the software lets you
convert to pretty much ANY video format, and to take screen captures.
<http://elgato.com/index.php?file=products_eyetv200>

It's one of those examples of software done right (and the company is
always making it even better).

--
to respond (OT only), change "spamless.invalid" to "optonline.net"

<http://www.thecoffeefaq.com/>

In article >,
Scott > wrote:

> I thought I posted about this, but I guess not.
>
> I can't find this scene. The last appearance of the ham was in this
> scene:
> <page.mac.com/scott_r/hamontable.jpg>


I accidentally snipped off the first part of the URL; that should be
<http://homepage.mac.com/scott_r/hamontable.jpg>

--
to respond (OT only), change "spamless.invalid" to "optonline.net"

<http://www.thecoffeefaq.com/>

On Sat, 07 Jan 2006 23:47:22 -0500, Scott wrote:

> In article >,
> sf > wrote:
>
> > Did you record the show and then convert to jpgs? How did you do it?
> > What software/hardware did you use?
>
> Sorry, I was out of town.
>
> I used an EyeTV 200 to record the show on my Mac; the software lets you
> convert to pretty much ANY video format, and to take screen captures.
> <http://elgato.com/index.php?file=products_eyetv200>
>
> It's one of those examples of software done right (and the company is
> always making it even better).

Thank you , Scott -

I will pass this on to my friends who are Mac users because I think
it's a great tool! I'm a PC user, so I need to look more closely at
the information. because cross platform wasn't something that stood
out - if it was there at all.


sf
--

Practice safe eating. Always use condiments.

In article >,
sf > wrote:

> Thank you , Scott -
>
> I will pass this on to my friends who are Mac users because I think
> it's a great tool! I'm a PC user, so I need to look more closely at
> the information. because cross platform wasn't something that stood
> out - if it was there at all.


I'm certain there are PC-compatible DVRs, but EyeTV is Mac-only.
<http://faq.elgato.com/index.php/faq/more/123>
"Does EyeTV work on Windows?

The EyeTV hardware and software solution is Macintosh only. We have no
plans at this time to release a Windows version. However, shows that are
exported as QuickTime movies and Video CDs are playable on Windows."

I've also started using the EyeTV to digitize my old VHS tapes...
actually, I had to borrow a VCR--I haven't had one in years. They seem
so cumbersome now, compared to DVD players and DVRs.

--
to respond (OT only), change "spamless.invalid" to "optonline.net"

<http://www.thecoffeefaq.com/>

lid wrote:
>In article .com>,
> " > wrote:
>
>> I only saw a few minutes of the show, but she didn't make the cuts in
>> the ham 2 inches deep, she stated clearly that she was making the
>> scoring 2 inches apart.
>
>
>It's pretty clearly 2" deep. Here are some screen caps (along with
>pictures of clove placement):
>
><http://homepage.mac.com/scott_r/slee.html>

HOKEY SMOKES!!!!!!!

lid wrote:

>I used an EyeTV 200 to record the show on my Mac; the software lets you
>convert to pretty much ANY video format, and to take screen captures.
><http://elgato.com/index.php?file=products_eyetv200>

Is there a version for people with real computers? :-)


--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss
Lee.

In article >,
(Ubiquitous) wrote:

> Is there a version for people with real computers? :-)


That's a pretty foolish response, even with the smiley.

--
to respond (OT only), change "spamless.invalid" to "optonline.net"

<http://www.thecoffeefaq.com/>