aem wrote:

> Dan Abel wrote:
>
>>[snip preceding]
>>The Frugal Gourmet always said:
>>
>>hot pan - cold oil - food won't stick
>>[snip]
>
> Logically, this has never made sense. But I've always believed it was
> nevertheless a sensible thing to tell people because it got them to pay
> attention to getting the pan hot. Putting food in the pan before it is
> hot enough is the first mistake to avoid. How fast a little bit of oil
> heats up in a hot pan is just a detail. It doesn't matter much whether
> you heat the oil with the pan or add it to heat fast just before the
> food goes in. -aem
>

As you say, hot pan, cold oil is a myth. It is really hot pan, hot oil.
When you add oil to a hot pan the oil heats instantly. It works, but no
better than heating the oil along with the pan.

Peter

Sheldon wrote:
> aem wrote:
> > Dan Abel wrote:
> > > [snip preceding]
> > > The Frugal Gourmet always said:
> > >
> > > hot pan - cold oil - food won't stick
> > > [snip]
> > Logically, this has never made sense. But I've always believed it was
> > nevertheless a sensible thing to tell people because it got them to pay
> > attention to getting the pan hot. Putting food in the pan before it is
> > hot enough is the first mistake to avoid. How fast a little bit of oil
> > heats up in a hot pan is just a detail. It doesn't matter much whether
> > you heat the oil with the pan or add it to heat fast just before the
> > food goes in.
>
> The Frug gave great tips for the non cook.
>
> Mostly people walk off and forget to tend to business, the oil
> overheats, it degrades, and also makes whatever is subsequently cooked
> in it taste shitty... like the OP did by putting butter into that cold
> pan and then turned up teh heat full on, overheated butter is awful. I
> place fat into a cold pan all the time, but I heat with low and never
> walk away. In fact the best way to start bacon is with low heat in a
> cold pan, the rashers practically separate themselves... pulling apart
> cold bacon rashers stretches and distorts them, is what makes then
> curl. Yoose last professional cooking tip for the year... don't
> stretch the bacon.

The best way to cook bacon is in 3/8" - 1/2" of bacon grease.
We generate enough bacon grease that I can even use it to fry fish
(after which it needs to be pitched). Tonight I fried cod. I about
half thawed the fisn, salted it with superfine (popcorn) salt, and
grated on mixed peppercorns. Usually I'd then coat it with cornmeal,
but, we were out, so I used masa. I fried the fish in bacon grease.
It would have been lovely, but we were also out of lemons, so had to
dip them in reconstituted lemon juice. *Ouch*! I can feel this NG
branding me a philistine before I've even posted this.

I'm going to try the separating the slices after starting cooking.
What I usually do is bend the rasher before separating, though with
thick sliced bacon it's less of an issue. I choose bacon for the most
lean at the ends, and plenty of fat in the middles, esp. well striped
with thin lean strips. I think most people just try to go for % of
lean.

One of my faves is *overcooked* green beans with a liberal addition of
finely crumbled bacon, simmered in for a few minutes with freshly
milled pepper. I had that for lunch.

For breakfast it was bacon with jumbo eggs, lightly basted in bacon
fat. Basted eggs are a mostly lost art. Animal fat has gotten a bad
rap, and polyunsaturated fats have gotten undeserved praise.
Monounsaturates are probably the healthiest choice, and pork fat is
higher in monounsaturates than saturated fats. Bacon grease can be
frationated by allowing it to cool to where it separates into more of
the heavier saturated fats at the bottom of the pan, with the mostly
monounsaturates on top. Carefully pouring off the more liquidy stuff
on top into another pan, and discarding the stuff on the bottom leaves
a very nice all-purpose--not really all-purpose because of the smoke
flavor--frying fat.

I also fry chicken in rendered chicken fat, topping off if necessary,
with bacon fat. Hydrogenated fats rarely enter our house, and IMO,
should have been outlawed years ago.
Next to cigarettes, vegetable shortening/margarine are the biggest
contributors to premature death in America. Polyunsaturates are
frought with their own health issues because of rancidity, both pre and
post-ingestion.

I'm not a paragon of healty eating. I eat too many calories and consume
too much alcohol, but I get much pleasure from well prepared foods. My
biggest weakness is potatoes, which are the most fattening thing out
there.

I'm rambing. Sorry.

--Bryan

OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:

> In article om>,
> "Gregory Morrow" > wrote:
>
> > Sheldon wrote:
> >
> > > It's a guy thing... some like to exaggerate... but 24 inches! Even a
> > > stallion would have trouble getting a date, that's why I always
> > > understate.. gals really don't want to hear about more than 6"... with
> > > 8" a gal could choke to death! LOL
> >
> >
> > Hey, yer forgettin' about Catherine the Great...and haven't you heard
> > of those wild creatures called "nymphomaniacs"...I hear tell "Om" here
> > is one of those ;-D
>
> Down boy! Down!!! ;-D


"Arf...ARF...woof...WOOF...pant...Pant...PANT...!! !..."

--
Best
Greg

Sheldon wrote:
> Dan Abel wrote:
> > In article >,
> > "P.Aitken" > wrote:
> >
> >
> > > The problem is inherent with cast iron - it is a relatively poor
> > > conductor of heat. Other than oven heating, I cannot think of a solution.
> >
> > It depends what you are cooking and how you cook it.
>
> Nope, cast iron does not morph into some other rmaterial regardless how
> it's used.

Brilliant!

> Cast iron is actually a relatively good heat conductor, not as good as
> say silver, copper or even aluminum but at least as good as stainless
> steel, and holds heat about equally well...

So SS and CI are the same?

>in fact stainless steel of
> the same thickness holds heat better than cast iron,

So SS is better?

>in other words
> stainless and cast are for all intents and purposes of cooking are
> equally responsive...

So SS and CI are the same?

>only thing stainless is typically thinner and and
> so therefore more responsive and so is the better choice, and that just
> on the grounds of conductivity and responsiveness.

So SS is better?

>But where stainless
> really shines is in reactivity. Stainless is by far the best all
> around cookware, needs no care of any kind whatsoever... and for those
> who actually know how to cook nothing sticks to stainless. I can cook
> an omelet in a stainless pan with no added fat and no sticking
> whatsoever... won't taste nearly as good as an omelet cooked with
> butter but for me sticking is not an issue. And yes, stainless can be
> seasoned, in fact stainless steel cookware *must* be seasoned.

Actually, the heat transfer rate of grey (cooking grade) CI is 80w/mK,
304SS (cooking grade SS) is 16.3w/mK, so CI transfers heat 5 times as
readily as SS. The heat content is irrelevant in cooking, except as it
effects the time to heat up and cool down.
I won't bother to explain metallurgically why SS can't be seasoned.
This moron wouldn't begin to comprehend.
Never ceases to fascinate me, the people who come online and tout
themselves as experts in areas about with they know less than nothing.

salgud wrote:
>
> I won't bother to explain metallurgically why SS can't be seasoned.
> Never ceases to fascinate me, the people who come online and tout
> themselves as experts in areas about with they know less than nothing.

Ohhhh, my goodness... I'm soooo sowry... I just got here... scuuuuse
me!

Stainless steel cookware certainly can be seasoned, in fact for it to
perform properly it MUST be seasoned, and properly. Not all knowledge
begins and ends with yours. In fact those who think all knowledge
begins and ends with their own are the most ignorant. You are truly
ignorant, especially when it comes to metals. You sound exactly like
some jerk who spends all their time doing classroom theory but has
never actually picked up a slab of steel and used it for something
other than a doorstop.

salgud wrote:

<snipped>

> Actually, the heat transfer rate of grey (cooking grade) CI is 80w/mK,
> 304SS (cooking grade SS) is 16.3w/mK, so CI transfers heat 5 times as
> readily as SS. The heat content is irrelevant in cooking, except as it
> effects the time to heat up and cool down.

Not true. The high "heat content" - actually it is called specific heat
- of CI is one of its main virtues. When you heat up a CI pan and add
the food it stays hot much better than most other pan materials,
permitting a good sear rather than a steam.

> I won't bother to explain metallurgically why SS can't be seasoned.
> This moron wouldn't begin to comprehend.
> Never ceases to fascinate me, the people who come online and tout
> themselves as experts in areas about with they know less than nothing.
>

No comment.

Peter

salgud wrote:
> Sheldon wrote:
> > Dan Abel wrote:
> > > In article >,
> > > "P.Aitken" > wrote:
> > >
> > >
> > > > The problem is inherent with cast iron - it is a relatively poor
> > > > conductor of heat. Other than oven heating, I cannot think of a solution.
> > >
> > > It depends what you are cooking and how you cook it.
> >
> > Nope, cast iron does not morph into some other rmaterial regardless how
> > it's used.
>
> Brilliant!
>
> > Cast iron is actually a relatively good heat conductor, not as good as
> > say silver, copper or even aluminum but at least as good as stainless
> > steel, and holds heat about equally well...
>
> So SS and CI are the same?
>
> >in fact stainless steel of
> > the same thickness holds heat better than cast iron,
>
> So SS is better?
>
> >in other words
> > stainless and cast are for all intents and purposes of cooking are
> > equally responsive...
>
> So SS and CI are the same?
>
> >only thing stainless is typically thinner and and
> > so therefore more responsive and so is the better choice, and that just
> > on the grounds of conductivity and responsiveness.
>
> So SS is better?
>
> >But where stainless
> > really shines is in reactivity. Stainless is by far the best all
> > around cookware, needs no care of any kind whatsoever... and for those
> > who actually know how to cook nothing sticks to stainless. I can cook
> > an omelet in a stainless pan with no added fat and no sticking
> > whatsoever... won't taste nearly as good as an omelet cooked with
> > butter but for me sticking is not an issue. And yes, stainless can be
> > seasoned, in fact stainless steel cookware *must* be seasoned.
>
> Actually, the heat transfer rate of grey (cooking grade) CI is 80w/mK,
> 304SS (cooking grade SS) is 16.3w/mK, so CI transfers heat 5 times as
> readily as SS. The heat content is irrelevant in cooking, except as it
> effects the time to heat up and cool down.

One exception to that is if someone is cooking on a stove burner that
doesn't put ot enough BTUs (like electric, or a cheest gas one with a
wimpy flame. Then you could want the stored heat for searing. THese
days the high quality non stick coatings are so good that I'd never buy
stainless again, and CI, you can have my share. It's filthy.

> I won't bother to explain metallurgically why SS can't be seasoned.
> This moron wouldn't begin to comprehend.
> Never ceases to fascinate me, the people who come online and tout
> themselves as experts in areas about with they know less than nothing.

Some guy on a NG today said that the salt ina roast beef sandwich was
just as bad for your health as trans fats. People should post what
they know, not what they kind of figure they know.

--Bryan

wrote:
> salgud wrote:
> > Sheldon wrote:
> > > Dan Abel wrote:
> > > > In article >,
> > > > "P.Aitken" > wrote:
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > > The problem is inherent with cast iron - it is a relatively poor
> > > > > conductor of heat. Other than oven heating, I cannot think of a solution.
> > > >
> > > > It depends what you are cooking and how you cook it.
> > >
> > > Nope, cast iron does not morph into some other rmaterial regardless how
> > > it's used.
> >
> > Brilliant!
> >
> > > Cast iron is actually a relatively good heat conductor, not as good as
> > > say silver, copper or even aluminum but at least as good as stainless
> > > steel, and holds heat about equally well...
> >
> > So SS and CI are the same?
> >
> > >in fact stainless steel of
> > > the same thickness holds heat better than cast iron,
> >
> > So SS is better?
> >
> > >in other words
> > > stainless and cast are for all intents and purposes of cooking are
> > > equally responsive...
> >
> > So SS and CI are the same?
> >
> > >only thing stainless is typically thinner and and
> > > so therefore more responsive and so is the better choice, and that just
> > > on the grounds of conductivity and responsiveness.
> >
> > So SS is better?
> >
> > >But where stainless
> > > really shines is in reactivity. Stainless is by far the best all
> > > around cookware, needs no care of any kind whatsoever... and for those
> > > who actually know how to cook nothing sticks to stainless. I can cook
> > > an omelet in a stainless pan with no added fat and no sticking
> > > whatsoever... won't taste nearly as good as an omelet cooked with
> > > butter but for me sticking is not an issue. And yes, stainless can be
> > > seasoned, in fact stainless steel cookware *must* be seasoned.
> >
> > Actually, the heat transfer rate of grey (cooking grade) CI is 80w/mK,
> > 304SS (cooking grade SS) is 16.3w/mK, so CI transfers heat 5 times as
> > readily as SS. The heat content is irrelevant in cooking, except as it
> > effects the time to heat up and cool down.
>
> One exception to that is if someone is cooking on a stove burner that
> doesn't put ot enough BTUs (like electric, or a cheest gas one with a
> wimpy flame. Then you could want the stored heat for searing.

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. . . . your brain is wimpy
and even though you have a cast iron cranium unfortunately you can't
store any extra IQ. . . . Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. . . .

wrote:
> salgud wrote:
> > Sheldon wrote:
> > > Dan Abel wrote:
> > > > In article >,
> > > > "P.Aitken" > wrote:
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > > The problem is inherent with cast iron - it is a relatively poor
> > > > > conductor of heat. Other than oven heating, I cannot think of a solution.
> > > >
> > > > It depends what you are cooking and how you cook it.
> > >
> > > Nope, cast iron does not morph into some other rmaterial regardless how
> > > it's used.
> >
> > Brilliant!
> >
> > > Cast iron is actually a relatively good heat conductor, not as good as
> > > say silver, copper or even aluminum but at least as good as stainless
> > > steel, and holds heat about equally well...
> >
> > So SS and CI are the same?
> >
> > >in fact stainless steel of
> > > the same thickness holds heat better than cast iron,
> >
> > So SS is better?
> >
> > >in other words
> > > stainless and cast are for all intents and purposes of cooking are
> > > equally responsive...
> >
> > So SS and CI are the same?
> >
> > >only thing stainless is typically thinner and and
> > > so therefore more responsive and so is the better choice, and that just
> > > on the grounds of conductivity and responsiveness.
> >
> > So SS is better?
> >
> > >But where stainless
> > > really shines is in reactivity. Stainless is by far the best all
> > > around cookware, needs no care of any kind whatsoever... and for those
> > > who actually know how to cook nothing sticks to stainless. I can cook
> > > an omelet in a stainless pan with no added fat and no sticking
> > > whatsoever... won't taste nearly as good as an omelet cooked with
> > > butter but for me sticking is not an issue. And yes, stainless can be
> > > seasoned, in fact stainless steel cookware *must* be seasoned.
> >
> > Actually, the heat transfer rate of grey (cooking grade) CI is 80w/mK,
> > 304SS (cooking grade SS) is 16.3w/mK, so CI transfers heat 5 times as
> > readily as SS. The heat content is irrelevant in cooking, except as it
> > effects the time to heat up and cool down.
>
> One exception to that is if someone is cooking on a stove burner that
> doesn't put ot enough BTUs (like electric, or a cheest gas one with a
> wimpy flame. Then you could want the stored heat for searing.

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. . . . your brain is wimpy
and even though you have a cast iron cranium unfortunately you can't
store any extra IQ. . . . Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. . . .

wrote:

> salgud wrote:
>
>>Sheldon wrote:
>>
>>>Dan Abel wrote:
>>>
>>>>In article >,
>>>> "P.Aitken" > wrote:
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>>The problem is inherent with cast iron - it is a relatively poor
>>>>>conductor of heat. Other than oven heating, I cannot think of a solution.
>>>>
>>>>It depends what you are cooking and how you cook it.
>>>
>>>Nope, cast iron does not morph into some other rmaterial regardless how
>>>it's used.
>>
>>Brilliant!
>>
>>
>>>Cast iron is actually a relatively good heat conductor, not as good as
>>>say silver, copper or even aluminum but at least as good as stainless
>>>steel, and holds heat about equally well...
>>
>>So SS and CI are the same?
>>
>>
>>>in fact stainless steel of
>>>the same thickness holds heat better than cast iron,
>>
>>So SS is better?
>>
>>
>>>in other words
>>>stainless and cast are for all intents and purposes of cooking are
>>>equally responsive...
>>
>>So SS and CI are the same?
>>
>>
>>>only thing stainless is typically thinner and and
>>>so therefore more responsive and so is the better choice, and that just
>>>on the grounds of conductivity and responsiveness.
>>
>>So SS is better?
>>
>>
>>>But where stainless
>>>really shines is in reactivity. Stainless is by far the best all
>>>around cookware, needs no care of any kind whatsoever... and for those
>>>who actually know how to cook nothing sticks to stainless. I can cook
>>>an omelet in a stainless pan with no added fat and no sticking
>>>whatsoever... won't taste nearly as good as an omelet cooked with
>>>butter but for me sticking is not an issue. And yes, stainless can be
>>>seasoned, in fact stainless steel cookware *must* be seasoned.
>>
>>Actually, the heat transfer rate of grey (cooking grade) CI is 80w/mK,
>>304SS (cooking grade SS) is 16.3w/mK, so CI transfers heat 5 times as
>>readily as SS. The heat content is irrelevant in cooking, except as it
>>effects the time to heat up and cool down.
>
>
> One exception to that is if someone is cooking on a stove burner that
> doesn't put ot enough BTUs (like electric, or a cheest gas one with a
> wimpy flame. Then you could want the stored heat for searing. THese
> days the high quality non stick coatings are so good that I'd never buy
> stainless again, and CI, you can have my share. It's filthy.

I'll disagree having both cast iron and stainless steel. I like both and
no stainless steel does not need to be seasoned unlike cast iron that
does. It depends on your use as far as to which is better.
>
>
>>I won't bother to explain metallurgically why SS can't be seasoned.
>>This moron wouldn't begin to comprehend.
>>Never ceases to fascinate me, the people who come online and tout
>>themselves as experts in areas about with they know less than nothing.
>
>
> Some guy on a NG today said that the salt ina roast beef sandwich was
> just as bad for your health as trans fats. People should post what
> they know, not what they kind of figure they know.

I like this. I try to post what I have experience with as far as
cooking whether it goes against the status quo or not. Some like it and
others don't. I figure for the most part, those who don't just don't
like that my experiences may be debunking their theories
>
> --Bryan
>

~patches~ wrote:
>
> stainless steel does not need to be seasoned

Yes it does, you don't know how. I'm tired of explaining over and
over, for a full detailed explanation search back a few months....
<seasoning frypan>

On 26 Dec 2005 16:37:51 -0800, "Sheldon" > wrote:

>pulling apart
>cold bacon rashers stretches and distorts them, is what makes then
>curl. Yoose last professional cooking tip for the year... don't
>stretch the bacon.

Use a plastic or rubber spatula to separate them and you won't stretch
'em. Just slide it between and Bob's your uncle!

--
-denny-
"Do your thoughts call ahead or do they just arrive at your mouth unannounced?"

"It's come as you are, baby."

-over the hedge

"Denny Wheeler" > wrote

> On 26 Dec 2005 16:37:51 -0800, "Sheldon" > wrote:
>
>>pulling apart
>>cold bacon rashers stretches and distorts them, is what makes then
>>curl. Yoose last professional cooking tip for the year... don't
>>stretch the bacon.
>
> Use a plastic or rubber spatula to separate them and you won't stretch
> 'em. Just slide it between and Bob's your uncle!

Another Bob??

nancy (worried)

On 27 Dec 2005 19:36:33 -0800, "Sheldon" > wrote:

>
>~patches~ wrote:
>>
>> stainless steel does not need to be seasoned
>
>Yes it does, you don't know how. I'm tired of explaining over and
>over, for a full detailed explanation search back a few months....
><seasoning frypan>

Well, that's not exactly 'seasoning'. I won't say it's silly, and I
won't say it works.
But there is some sense to it. (the same can be said of Ignatius
Donnelly, though)

--
-denny-
"Do your thoughts call ahead or do they just arrive at your mouth unannounced?"

"It's come as you are, baby."

-over the hedge

wrote:
> We generate enough bacon grease that I can even use it to fry fish.

Fresh fish fried in bacon grease has got to be as taste in ass
disgusting as it gets.

In article om>,
"Sheldon" > wrote:

> wrote:
> > We generate enough bacon grease that I can even use it to fry fish.
>
> Fresh fish fried in bacon grease has got to be as taste in ass
> disgusting as it gets.
>

I don't agree...

When we used to go camping in Colorado, the first thing mom did when she
got up in the morning was to toss a baited line in the river for trout,
then get breakfast started starting with BACON in the Cast iron skillet
over the campfire. :-)

While that was cooking, she'd check the line periodically and pull in
fresh live rainbow trout.

Once the bacon was done, she would then grease baste a few eggs, then
clean the trout and deep fry them in that bacon fat.

<sigh>

Incredible food, incredible memories.

Bacon fat fried trout and eggs (with PERKED coffee) in the middle of the
Colorado boonies under pine trees.

Thanks for the reminder guys! ;-d

I still miss mom.

(Bacon grease fried fresh tree squirrel is pretty good too, as is fresh
killed cottontail bunny. Dad used to hunt quite a bit when we went
boondock camping.)
--
Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
> In article om>,
> "Sheldon" > wrote:
>
> > wrote:
> > > We generate enough bacon grease that I can even use it to fry fish.
> >
> > Fresh fish fried in bacon grease has got to be as taste in ass
> > disgusting as it gets.
> >
>
> I don't agree...
>
> When we used to go camping in Colorado, the first thing mom did when she
> got up in the morning was to toss a baited line in the river for trout,
> then get breakfast started starting with BACON in the Cast iron skillet
> over the campfire. :-)
>
> While that was cooking, she'd check the line periodically and pull in
> fresh live rainbow trout.
>
> Once the bacon was done, she would then grease baste a few eggs, then
> clean the trout and deep fry them in that bacon fat.

When I was a kid (the 60s) you could go into a restaurant and order
eggs lightly basted. Now they're just look at you blankly if you asked
for that.
>
> <sigh>
>
> Incredible food, incredible memories.
>
> Bacon fat fried trout and eggs (with PERKED coffee) in the middle of the
> Colorado boonies under pine trees.
>
> Thanks for the reminder guys! ;-d
>
> I still miss mom.
>
> (Bacon grease fried fresh tree squirrel is pretty good too, as is fresh
> killed cottontail bunny. Dad used to hunt quite a bit when we went
> boondock camping.)
> --
> Om.
>
--Bryan

Sheldon wrote:
> wrote:
> > We generate enough bacon grease that I can even use it to fry fish.
>
> Fresh fish fried in bacon grease has got to be as taste in ass
> disgusting as it gets.

Not so! When I was a kid out camping the first one up in the morning
would rev up the fire and put a skillet on it with bacon in it. Then
down to the river to catch some trout (well, really Dolly Varden which
are a kind of char but they taste like trout). Clean them, dredge in
flour, fry in the bacon fat. Best breakfast possible, bar none. And I
didn't even drink coffee back then. -aem

In article .com>,
"BOBOBOnoBO®" > wrote:

> OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
> > In article om>,
> > "Sheldon" > wrote:
> >
> > > wrote:
> > > > We generate enough bacon grease that I can even use it to fry fish.
> > >
> > > Fresh fish fried in bacon grease has got to be as taste in ass
> > > disgusting as it gets.
> > >
> >
> > I don't agree...
> >
> > When we used to go camping in Colorado, the first thing mom did when she
> > got up in the morning was to toss a baited line in the river for trout,
> > then get breakfast started starting with BACON in the Cast iron skillet
> > over the campfire. :-)
> >
> > While that was cooking, she'd check the line periodically and pull in
> > fresh live rainbow trout.
> >
> > Once the bacon was done, she would then grease baste a few eggs, then
> > clean the trout and deep fry them in that bacon fat.
>
> When I was a kid (the 60s) you could go into a restaurant and order
> eggs lightly basted. Now they're just look at you blankly if you asked
> for that.

New generation cooks have no 'clu... <sigh>
Grease basting eggs is a real art, but not difficult once you get the
hang of it.

> --Bryan
>
--
Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

In article .com>,
"aem" > wrote:

> Sheldon wrote:
> > wrote:
> > > We generate enough bacon grease that I can even use it to fry fish.
> >
> > Fresh fish fried in bacon grease has got to be as taste in ass
> > disgusting as it gets.
>
> Not so! When I was a kid out camping the first one up in the morning
> would rev up the fire and put a skillet on it with bacon in it. Then
> down to the river to catch some trout (well, really Dolly Varden which
> are a kind of char but they taste like trout). Clean them, dredge in
> flour, fry in the bacon fat. Best breakfast possible, bar none. And I
> didn't even drink coffee back then. -aem
>

Your story is similar to mine. :-)

Mom did not dredge them tho'. The trout skin is edible and crispy in
bacon fat. ;-d

And the coffee was perked......
--
Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

aem wrote:
> Sheldon wrote:
> > wrote:
> > > We generate enough bacon grease that I can even use it to fry fish.
> >
> > Fresh fish fried in bacon grease has got to be as taste in ass
> > disgusting as it gets.
>
> Not so! When I was a kid out camping the first one up in the morning
> would rev up the fire and put a skillet on it with bacon in it. Then
> down to the river to catch some trout (well, really Dolly Varden which
> are a kind of char but they taste like trout). Clean them, dredge in
> flour, fry in the bacon fat. Best breakfast possible, bar none. And I
> didn't even drink coffee back then.

I just knew someone was gonna ask about campfire trout

Then fresh trout is wasted on you... you are definitely afflicted with
CTAD... all you're gonna taste is the powerful smokiness of bacon, and
experiencing the mouth feel of rapidly congealing pork fat on fish is
truly disgusting, especially first thing in the morning. I'll have
mine fried in butter please, and in a fresh pan... don't want my fresh
trout contaminated. When I want smoked fish I buy smoked fish, but
definitely not from being douched with bacon grease.

In article . com>,
"Sheldon" > wrote:

> aem wrote:
> > Sheldon wrote:
> > > wrote:
> > > > We generate enough bacon grease that I can even use it to fry fish.
> > >
> > > Fresh fish fried in bacon grease has got to be as taste in ass
> > > disgusting as it gets.
> >
> > Not so! When I was a kid out camping the first one up in the morning
> > would rev up the fire and put a skillet on it with bacon in it. Then
> > down to the river to catch some trout (well, really Dolly Varden which
> > are a kind of char but they taste like trout). Clean them, dredge in
> > flour, fry in the bacon fat. Best breakfast possible, bar none. And I
> > didn't even drink coffee back then.
>
> I just knew someone was gonna ask about campfire trout
>
> Then fresh trout is wasted on you... you are definitely afflicted with
> CTAD... all you're gonna taste is the powerful smokiness of bacon, and
> experiencing the mouth feel of rapidly congealing pork fat on fish is
> truly disgusting, especially first thing in the morning. I'll have
> mine fried in butter please, and in a fresh pan... don't want my fresh
> trout contaminated. When I want smoked fish I buy smoked fish, but
> definitely not from being douched with bacon grease.

It does not absorb the flavor... Only the skin does.

The meat comes out sweet and tasty.

Try it. :-) Just once!
--
Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

Om replied to Pussy:

>>> We generate enough bacon grease that I can even use it to fry fish.
>>
>> Fresh fish fried in bacon grease has got to be as taste in ass
>> disgusting as it gets.
>>
> I don't agree...
<snip>
> Once the bacon was done, she would then grease baste a few eggs, then
> clean the trout and deep fry them in that bacon fat.
>
> <sigh>
>
> Incredible food, incredible memories.

I have similar experiences with fresh trout pan-fried in bacon grease. So do
millions of other people. Pussy has probably never pitched a tent in his
life, and has totally missed out on whole vistas of life experience because
of that. He's bitter about the fact that his life has been a series of
omissions, failures, and disappointments, so he's snottily crying "sour
grapes" to those who have found the simple satisfaction of preparing the
great food which can be had while roughing it.

Disregard the impotent loser's squalling, and keep on enjoying that fresh
trout cooked in bacon grease! Oh, and if you happen to run across any wild
strawberries, remember that it's GOOD to share!

Bob

Sheldon wrote:
> salgud wrote:
> >
> > I won't bother to explain metallurgically why SS can't be seasoned.
> > Never ceases to fascinate me, the people who come online and tout
> > themselves as experts in areas about with they know less than nothing.
>
> Ohhhh, my goodness... I'm soooo sowry... I just got here... scuuuuse
> me!

Consider yourself scuuuused!

>
> Stainless steel cookware certainly can be seasoned, in fact for it to
> perform properly it MUST be seasoned, and properly. Not all knowledge
> begins and ends with yours. In fact those who think all knowledge
> begins and ends with their own are the most ignorant. You are truly
> ignorant, especially when it comes to metals. You sound exactly like
> some jerk who spends all their time doing classroom theory but has
> never actually picked up a slab of steel and used it for something
> other than a doorstop.

Actually, I'm the type of engineer who used to get criticized (not to
my face, they didn't dare) for going to the blue collar uneducated
masses who worked in the plant to get their advice on the
fix/modification/construction I was working on. I often incorporated
their suggestions into my designs because I never believed you have to
have an engineering degree to have an intelligent opinion, and I knew
they had knowledge I didn't.
OTH, I also recognize someone who is throwing out terminology to
impress, with little or no knowledge of what those words really mean.
And, let's face it, there are few things more fun than sticking a pin
in a blowhard!
If you wish to compare knowledge about metals, lets go! We can start
with the different types of stainless steel, martensitic vs.
austenitic, for example, and the work our way up from there! If you
want to start simpler, just explain to us what the heat transfer units
w/mK are!

salgud wrote:

> Sheldon wrote:
>
>>salgud wrote:
>>
>>>I won't bother to explain metallurgically why SS can't be seasoned.
>>>Never ceases to fascinate me, the people who come online and tout
>>>themselves as experts in areas about with they know less than nothing.
>>
>>Ohhhh, my goodness... I'm soooo sowry... I just got here... scuuuuse
>>me!
>
>
> Consider yourself scuuuused!
>
>
>>Stainless steel cookware certainly can be seasoned, in fact for it to
>>perform properly it MUST be seasoned, and properly. Not all knowledge
>>begins and ends with yours. In fact those who think all knowledge
>>begins and ends with their own are the most ignorant. You are truly
>>ignorant, especially when it comes to metals. You sound exactly like
>>some jerk who spends all their time doing classroom theory but has
>>never actually picked up a slab of steel and used it for something
>>other than a doorstop.
>
>
> Actually, I'm the type of engineer who used to get criticized (not to
> my face, they didn't dare) for going to the blue collar uneducated
> masses who worked in the plant to get their advice on the
> fix/modification/construction I was working on. I often incorporated
> their suggestions into my designs because I never believed you have to
> have an engineering degree to have an intelligent opinion, and I knew
> they had knowledge I didn't.
> OTH, I also recognize someone who is throwing out terminology to
> impress, with little or no knowledge of what those words really mean.
> And, let's face it, there are few things more fun than sticking a pin
> in a blowhard!
> If you wish to compare knowledge about metals, lets go! We can start
> with the different types of stainless steel, martensitic vs.
> austenitic, for example, and the work our way up from there! If you
> want to start simpler, just explain to us what the heat transfer units
> w/mK are!
>

As you are in the process of learning, "discussing" anything with
sheldoon is akin to explaining calculus to a dog turd. You might as well
save your breath.

Peter

wrote:
> salgud wrote:
> > Sheldon wrote:
> > > Dan Abel wrote:
> > > > In article >,
> > > > "P.Aitken" > wrote:
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > > The problem is inherent with cast iron - it is a relatively poor
> > > > > conductor of heat. Other than oven heating, I cannot think of a solution.
> > > >
> > > > It depends what you are cooking and how you cook it.
> > >
> > > Nope, cast iron does not morph into some other rmaterial regardless how
> > > it's used.
> >
> > Brilliant!
> >
> > > Cast iron is actually a relatively good heat conductor, not as good as
> > > say silver, copper or even aluminum but at least as good as stainless
> > > steel, and holds heat about equally well...
> >
> > So SS and CI are the same?
> >
> > >in fact stainless steel of
> > > the same thickness holds heat better than cast iron,
> >
> > So SS is better?
> >
> > >in other words
> > > stainless and cast are for all intents and purposes of cooking are
> > > equally responsive...
> >
> > So SS and CI are the same?
> >
> > >only thing stainless is typically thinner and and
> > > so therefore more responsive and so is the better choice, and that just
> > > on the grounds of conductivity and responsiveness.
> >
> > So SS is better?
> >
> > >But where stainless
> > > really shines is in reactivity. Stainless is by far the best all
> > > around cookware, needs no care of any kind whatsoever... and for those
> > > who actually know how to cook nothing sticks to stainless. I can cook
> > > an omelet in a stainless pan with no added fat and no sticking
> > > whatsoever... won't taste nearly as good as an omelet cooked with
> > > butter but for me sticking is not an issue. And yes, stainless can be
> > > seasoned, in fact stainless steel cookware *must* be seasoned.
> >
> > Actually, the heat transfer rate of grey (cooking grade) CI is 80w/mK,
> > 304SS (cooking grade SS) is 16.3w/mK, so CI transfers heat 5 times as
> > readily as SS. The heat content is irrelevant in cooking, except as it
> > effects the time to heat up and cool down.
>
> One exception to that is if someone is cooking on a stove burner that
> doesn't put ot enough BTUs (like electric, or a cheest gas one with a
> wimpy flame. Then you could want the stored heat for searing. THese
> days the high quality non stick coatings are so good that I'd never buy
> stainless again, and CI, you can have my share.

I hadn't thought of the searing issue. I guess I haven't had to sear
anything when I didn't have adequate heat to do so. Good point.

> It's filthy.

To those of you who have bought Colgate-Palmolive's line that nothing
can be clean unless some of their surfactant has passed over it, it is.
Personally, I don't think I have to put some stuff that cost them 5
cents for the contents, 10 cents for the bottle, and 50 cents for the
advertising, which they then sold me for $3.79, on things to make them
clean. But I'm oldschool!

> > I won't bother to explain metallurgically why SS can't be seasoned.
> > This moron wouldn't begin to comprehend.
> > Never ceases to fascinate me, the people who come online and tout
> > themselves as experts in areas about with they know less than nothing.
>
> Some guy on a NG today said that the salt ina roast beef sandwich was
> just as bad for your health as trans fats. People should post what
> they know, not what they kind of figure they know.

Or are trying to impress others that they know!

>
> --Bryan

P.Aitken wrote:
> salgud wrote:
>
> <snipped>
>
> > Actually, the heat transfer rate of grey (cooking grade) CI is 80w/mK,
> > 304SS (cooking grade SS) is 16.3w/mK, so CI transfers heat 5 times as
> > readily as SS. The heat content is irrelevant in cooking, except as it
> > effects the time to heat up and cool down.
>
> Not true. The high "heat content" - actually it is called specific heat
> - of CI is one of its main virtues. When you heat up a CI pan and add
> the food it stays hot much better than most other pan materials,
> permitting a good sear rather than a steam.

As noted in my reply to the same comment above, I hadn't thought of
that and I agree.

>
> > I won't bother to explain metallurgically why SS can't be seasoned.
> > This moron wouldn't begin to comprehend.
> > Never ceases to fascinate me, the people who come online and tout
> > themselves as experts in areas about with they know less than nothing.
> >
>
> No comment.
>
> Peter

P.Aitken wrote:
> salgud wrote:
>
> > Sheldon wrote:
> >
> >>salgud wrote:
> >>
> >>>I won't bother to explain metallurgically why SS can't be seasoned.
> >>>Never ceases to fascinate me, the people who come online and tout
> >>>themselves as experts in areas about with they know less than nothing.
> >>
> >>Ohhhh, my goodness... I'm soooo sowry... I just got here... scuuuuse
> >>me!
> >
> >
> > Consider yourself scuuuused!
> >
> >
> >>Stainless steel cookware certainly can be seasoned, in fact for it to
> >>perform properly it MUST be seasoned, and properly. Not all knowledge
> >>begins and ends with yours. In fact those who think all knowledge
> >>begins and ends with their own are the most ignorant. You are truly
> >>ignorant, especially when it comes to metals. You sound exactly like
> >>some jerk who spends all their time doing classroom theory but has
> >>never actually picked up a slab of steel and used it for something
> >>other than a doorstop.
> >
> >
> > Actually, I'm the type of engineer who used to get criticized (not to
> > my face, they didn't dare) for going to the blue collar uneducated
> > masses who worked in the plant to get their advice on the
> > fix/modification/construction I was working on. I often incorporated
> > their suggestions into my designs because I never believed you have to
> > have an engineering degree to have an intelligent opinion, and I knew
> > they had knowledge I didn't.
> > OTH, I also recognize someone who is throwing out terminology to
> > impress, with little or no knowledge of what those words really mean.
> > And, let's face it, there are few things more fun than sticking a pin
> > in a blowhard!
> > If you wish to compare knowledge about metals, lets go! We can start
> > with the different types of stainless steel, martensitic vs.
> > austenitic, for example, and the work our way up from there! If you
> > want to start simpler, just explain to us what the heat transfer units
> > w/mK are!
> >
>
> As you are in the process of learning, "discussing" anything with
> sheldoon is akin to explaining calculus to a dog turd. You might as well
> save your breath.
>
> Peter

Well, Peter, I have to disagree with you on this one. I don't think the
moron is a dog turd, but with some plastic surgery and a brain implant,
he could work his way up to it!

In article >,
"Bob Terwilliger" > wrote:

> Om replied to Pussy:
>
> >>> We generate enough bacon grease that I can even use it to fry fish.
> >>
> >> Fresh fish fried in bacon grease has got to be as taste in ass
> >> disgusting as it gets.
> >>
> > I don't agree...
> <snip>
> > Once the bacon was done, she would then grease baste a few eggs, then
> > clean the trout and deep fry them in that bacon fat.
> >
> > <sigh>
> >
> > Incredible food, incredible memories.
>
> I have similar experiences with fresh trout pan-fried in bacon grease. So do
> millions of other people. Pussy has probably never pitched a tent in his
> life, and has totally missed out on whole vistas of life experience because
> of that. He's bitter about the fact that his life has been a series of
> omissions, failures, and disappointments, so he's snottily crying "sour
> grapes" to those who have found the simple satisfaction of preparing the
> great food which can be had while roughing it.
>
> Disregard the impotent loser's squalling, and keep on enjoying that fresh
> trout cooked in bacon grease! Oh, and if you happen to run across any wild
> strawberries, remember that it's GOOD to share!
>
> Bob
>
>

Oh gods, you WOULD go there! <lol>

We had a small wild strawberry patch in the back yard when we lived in
Colorado. :-) Sweet little tastes of pure heaven! I could only wish that
commercial strawberries tasted like that!

Then there are wild blackberries, picked under the blue blue sky at
8,000 ft. right before the usual afternoon thundershowers.......

Thanks Bob! :-) That's one of my most treasured memories of things I
used to do with mom!
--
Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

salgud wrote:

>
>
> Well, Peter, I have to disagree with you on this one. I don't think the
> moron is a dog turd, but with some plastic surgery and a brain implant,
> he could work his way up to it!
>

LOL!

Peter

In article >, "P.Aitken" >
wrote:

> salgud wrote:
>
> >
> >
> > Well, Peter, I have to disagree with you on this one. I don't think the
> > moron is a dog turd, but with some plastic surgery and a brain implant,
> > he could work his way up to it!
> >
>
> LOL!
>
> Peter
>

Mmmm... I dunno dudes, surgery can create miracles nowadays:

Three Texas plastic surgeons were playing golf together and discussing
surgeries they had performed

First one said, "I'm the best plastic surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist
lost 7 fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he
performed a private concert for the Queen of England."

Second one said. "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in
an
accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in 5
field events in the Olympics."

The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a
cowboy
who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train
traveling 80 miles an hour........ All I had left to work with was the
horse's
ass and a cowboy hat.......... Now he's president of the United
States!!!!"
--
Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
> In article >, "P.Aitken" >
> wrote:
>
> > salgud wrote:
> >
> > >
> > >
> > > Well, Peter, I have to disagree with you on this one. I don't think the
> > > moron is a dog turd, but with some plastic surgery and a brain implant,
> > > he could work his way up to it!
> > >
> >
> > LOL!
> >
> > Peter
> >
>
> Mmmm... I dunno dudes, surgery can create miracles nowadays:
>
> Three Texas plastic surgeons were playing golf together and discussing
> surgeries they had performed
>
> First one said, "I'm the best plastic surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist
> lost 7 fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he
> performed a private concert for the Queen of England."
>
> Second one said. "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in
> an
> accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in 5
> field events in the Olympics."
>
> The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a
> cowboy
> who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train
> traveling 80 miles an hour........ All I had left to work with was the
> horse's
> ass and a cowboy hat.......... Now he's president of the United
> States!!!!"

LOL!

> --
> Om.
>
> "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:

> The meat comes out sweet and tasty.
>
> Try it. :-) Just once!


Here is my Love Tip 'o the day:

If a dude wants to make his "meat" sweet 'n tasty he should drink some
pineapple juice every day ;---p

http://www.askmen.com/love/love_tip_..._love_tip.html

"To sweeten up your inner load, drink plenty of pineapple juice, and eat
bananas and papaya. Their sweetness results in yours. And of course, lest we
forget that parsley can do wonders for men worldwide -- it eliminates body
odor, freshens breath and improves the taste of seminal fluid..."

--
Best
Greg

Gregory Morrow wrote:
> OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
>
>
>>The meat comes out sweet and tasty.
>>
>>Try it. :-) Just once!
>
>
>
> Here is my Love Tip 'o the day:
>
> If a dude wants to make his "meat" sweet 'n tasty he should drink some
> pineapple juice every day ;---p
>
> http://www.askmen.com/love/love_tip_..._love_tip.html
>
> "To sweeten up your inner load, drink plenty of pineapple juice, and eat
> bananas and papaya. Their sweetness results in yours. And of course, lest we
> forget that parsley can do wonders for men worldwide -- it eliminates body
> odor, freshens breath and improves the taste of seminal fluid..."
>

I have neber known a woman who had compliants about flavor. texture,
yes. who likes teeny things stuck in their teeth? I'm not sure that that
can be improved on

--

saerah

http://anisaerah.blogspot.com/

"Peace is not an absence of war, it is a virtue, a state of mind, a
disposition for benevolence, confidence, justice."
-Baruch Spinoza

"There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly
what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear
and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There
is another theory which states that this has already happened."
-Douglas Adams

On Wed, 28 Dec 2005, OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:

> In article om>,
> "Sheldon" > wrote:
>
> > wrote:
> > > We generate enough bacon grease that I can even use it to fry fish.
> >
> > Fresh fish fried in bacon grease has got to be as taste in ass
> > disgusting as it gets.
> >
>
> I don't agree...
>
> When we used to go camping in Colorado, the first thing mom did when she
> got up in the morning was to toss a baited line in the river for trout,
> then get breakfast started starting with BACON in the Cast iron skillet
> over the campfire. :-)

Om
<great memories snipped>

I agree, Om. Bacon grease - bacon drippins, as we like to call them - AKA
unpurified lard is great for pan frying fish. My maternal grandfather
loved pan fried, fresh water fish cooked in bacon drippins so we had it a
lot when I was there.

Elaine, too

sarah bennett wrote:
> Gregory Morrow wrote:
>
>> OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
>>
>>
>>> The meat comes out sweet and tasty.
>>>
>>> Try it. :-) Just once!
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Here is my Love Tip 'o the day:
>>
>> If a dude wants to make his "meat" sweet 'n tasty he should drink some
>> pineapple juice every day ;---p
>>
>> http://www.askmen.com/love/love_tip_..._love_tip.html
>>
>> "To sweeten up your inner load, drink plenty of pineapple juice, and eat
>> bananas and papaya. Their sweetness results in yours. And of course,
>> lest we
>> forget that parsley can do wonders for men worldwide -- it eliminates
>> body
>> odor, freshens breath and improves the taste of seminal fluid..."
>>
>
> I have neber known a woman who had compliants about flavor. texture,
> yes. who likes teeny things stuck in their teeth? I'm not sure that that
> can be improved on
>

damn, I can't type worth a damn, can I?

--

saerah

http://anisaerah.blogspot.com/

"Peace is not an absence of war, it is a virtue, a state of mind, a
disposition for benevolence, confidence, justice."
-Baruch Spinoza

"There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly
what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear
and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There
is another theory which states that this has already happened."
-Douglas Adams

In article
>,
Elaine Parrish > wrote:

> On Wed, 28 Dec 2005, OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
>
> > In article om>,
> > "Sheldon" > wrote:
> >
> > > wrote:
> > > > We generate enough bacon grease that I can even use it to fry fish.
> > >
> > > Fresh fish fried in bacon grease has got to be as taste in ass
> > > disgusting as it gets.
> > >
> >
> > I don't agree...
> >
> > When we used to go camping in Colorado, the first thing mom did when she
> > got up in the morning was to toss a baited line in the river for trout,
> > then get breakfast started starting with BACON in the Cast iron skillet
> > over the campfire. :-)
>
> Om
> <great memories snipped>
>
> I agree, Om. Bacon grease - bacon drippins, as we like to call them - AKA
> unpurified lard is great for pan frying fish. My maternal grandfather
> loved pan fried, fresh water fish cooked in bacon drippins so we had it a
> lot when I was there.
>
> Elaine, too
>

Funny isn't it how Bacon seems to figure in to a lot of special
breakfast memories? :-)
--
Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

sarah bennett wrote:
>
> > I have neber known a woman who had compliants about flavor. texture,
> > yes. who likes teeny things stuck in their teeth? I'm not sure that that
> > can be improved on
> >
>
> damn, I can't type worth a damn, can I?
>
Who cares -- with an attitude like yours I don't care if you print with
crayons...........-aem

In article > ,
sarah bennett > wrote:

> sarah bennett wrote:
> > Gregory Morrow wrote:
> >
> >> OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
> >>
> >>
> >>> The meat comes out sweet and tasty.
> >>>
> >>> Try it. :-) Just once!
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >>
> >> Here is my Love Tip 'o the day:
> >>
> >> If a dude wants to make his "meat" sweet 'n tasty he should drink some
> >> pineapple juice every day ;---p
> >>
> >> http://www.askmen.com/love/love_tip_..._love_tip.html
> >>
> >> "To sweeten up your inner load, drink plenty of pineapple juice, and eat
> >> bananas and papaya. Their sweetness results in yours. And of course,
> >> lest we
> >> forget that parsley can do wonders for men worldwide -- it eliminates
> >> body
> >> odor, freshens breath and improves the taste of seminal fluid..."
> >>
> >
> > I have neber known a woman who had compliants about flavor. texture,
> > yes. who likes teeny things stuck in their teeth? I'm not sure that that
> > can be improved on
> >
>
> damn, I can't type worth a damn, can I?

The subject matter prolly had you flustered. ;-)
--
Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

aem wrote:
> sarah bennett wrote:
>
>>>I have neber known a woman who had compliants about flavor. texture,
>>>yes. who likes teeny things stuck in their teeth? I'm not sure that that
>>>can be improved on
>>>
>>
>>damn, I can't type worth a damn, can I?
>>
>
> Who cares -- with an attitude like yours I don't care if you print with
> crayons...........-aem
>

what attitude?

--

saerah

http://anisaerah.blogspot.com/

"Peace is not an absence of war, it is a virtue, a state of mind, a
disposition for benevolence, confidence, justice."
-Baruch Spinoza

"There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly
what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear
and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There
is another theory which states that this has already happened."
-Douglas Adams