I have a question for ya'll. My husband and I get together with a
group of friends every week to play games and hang out, and we all take
turn making dinner. Several of us in the group like to cook and enjoy
trying out new recipes, but some just bring sandwich meat and bread or
pizza or something easy like that. It happens occaisionally (and most
often when one particular group member is in charge of dinner), that we
run out of food. I was wondering if anyone has any good websites I
could forward to the group that give estimates of how much to buy/cook
of various things (e.g. "x pieces of chicken" or "y lbs meat" per
person)? .

What got us thinking is recently, the member in question picked up
fried chicken and sides for dinner. No big deal, except that there are
7 adults (4 men, 3 women--1 man was absent so total of 6 for the
night), and she got 12 pieces of chicken and two tiny sides (one might
have fed 2 people and the other maybe 4) plus a loaf of bakery bread.
There might have been 2 chicken breasts in the batch, and the rest was
legs, wings, and maybe a thigh. Several of us basically had bread for
dinner that night. She actually asked as we were all leaving if there
were any leftovers!

I don't usually have trouble, since I grew up in with 4 siblings, so
cooking for a group is easier than cooking for 2. But others just
don't know portion sizes (or they think "serves 4-6" means they can
feed 7 adults??). I found a couple of websites that talk about feeding
crowds, but they're talking 20-50 people, not 7-8.

Any help or pointers that I could pass on would be great! My challenge
will be to find a way to bring it up without embarrassing anyone....

allrecipes.com allows you to customize their recipes to number of
servings and automatically adjusts the ingredients accordingly.
Kev

> wrote in message
oups.com...
>I have a question for ya'll. My husband and I get together with a
> group of friends every week to play games and hang out, and we all take
> turn making dinner. Several of us in the group like to cook and enjoy
> trying out new recipes, but some just bring sandwich meat and bread or
> pizza or something easy like that. It happens occaisionally (and most
> often when one particular group member is in charge of dinner), that we
> run out of food. I was wondering if anyone has any good websites I
> could forward to the group that give estimates of how much to buy/cook
> of various things (e.g. "x pieces of chicken" or "y lbs meat" per
> person)? .
>
> What got us thinking is recently, the member in question picked up
> fried chicken and sides for dinner. No big deal, except that there are
> 7 adults (4 men, 3 women--1 man was absent so total of 6 for the
> night), and she got 12 pieces of chicken and two tiny sides (one might
> have fed 2 people and the other maybe 4) plus a loaf of bakery bread.
> There might have been 2 chicken breasts in the batch, and the rest was
> legs, wings, and maybe a thigh. Several of us basically had bread for
> dinner that night. She actually asked as we were all leaving if there
> were any leftovers!
>
> I don't usually have trouble, since I grew up in with 4 siblings, so
> cooking for a group is easier than cooking for 2. But others just
> don't know portion sizes (or they think "serves 4-6" means they can
> feed 7 adults??). I found a couple of websites that talk about feeding
> crowds, but they're talking 20-50 people, not 7-8.
>
> Any help or pointers that I could pass on would be great! My challenge
> will be to find a way to bring it up without embarrassing anyone....
>

Blunt is my middle name, so here goes: If your friend hasn't got the common
sense to figure out a chicken order, she probably can't read either. So, a
web site's going to be no help at all. You're going to have to handle this
face to face, using actual words, and lead her through the process by the
nose.

> Blunt is my middle name, so here goes: If your friend hasn't got the common
> sense to figure out a chicken order, she probably can't read either. So, a
> web site's going to be no help at all. You're going to have to handle this
> face to face, using actual words, and lead her through the process by the
> nose.

I was thinking the same thing but my middle name is Kevin.

My wife and I play poker with friends and we basically do the same
thing. Often, we'll agree to a food theme (ie. Asian, Mexican etc.) and
bring a single dish with enough servings to accomodate the group. It's
also understood, that "kid feeding" is the responsibility of the
parents, who will bring or prepare kid-friendly food for them.
Lastly, If you don't want to confront the skimper's, bring plenty of
easy snack foods to fill the void. Kev

wrote:
> I have a question for ya'll. My husband and I get together with a
> group of friends every week to play games and hang out, and we all take
> turn making dinner. Several of us in the group like to cook and enjoy
> trying out new recipes, but some just bring sandwich meat and bread or
> pizza or something easy like that. It happens occaisionally (and most
> often when one particular group member is in charge of dinner), that we
> run out of food. I was wondering if anyone has any good websites I
> could forward to the group that give estimates of how much to buy/cook
> of various things (e.g. "x pieces of chicken" or "y lbs meat" per
> person)? .
>
> What got us thinking is recently, the member in question picked up
> fried chicken and sides for dinner. No big deal, except that there are
> 7 adults (4 men, 3 women--1 man was absent so total of 6 for the
> night), and she got 12 pieces of chicken and two tiny sides (one might
> have fed 2 people and the other maybe 4) plus a loaf of bakery bread.
> There might have been 2 chicken breasts in the batch, and the rest was
> legs, wings, and maybe a thigh. Several of us basically had bread for
> dinner that night. She actually asked as we were all leaving if there
> were any leftovers!
>
> I don't usually have trouble, since I grew up in with 4 siblings, so
> cooking for a group is easier than cooking for 2. But others just
> don't know portion sizes (or they think "serves 4-6" means they can
> feed 7 adults??). I found a couple of websites that talk about feeding
> crowds, but they're talking 20-50 people, not 7-8.
>
> Any help or pointers that I could pass on would be great! My challenge
> will be to find a way to bring it up without embarrassing anyone....


Bring a sandwich and a Thermos of soup along and leave them in the car
when it's her turn to cook. A really /good/ sandwich. When the food
runs out before you've been served, you can go get yours out of the car.
Say (as cheerfully and nonjudgmentally as possible) something like, "I
knew you never bring enough food so I packed a lunch." HTH ;-)

Bob

"zxcvbob" > wrote

> Bring a sandwich and a Thermos of soup along and leave them in the car
> when it's her turn to cook. A really /good/ sandwich. When the food runs
> out before you've been served, you can go get yours out of the car. Say
> (as cheerfully and nonjudgmentally as possible) something like, "I knew
> you never bring enough food so I packed a lunch." HTH ;-)

(laugh!) Good one.

Sorry to the OP, I think it's probably a hardcore case of cheapitis,
I've seen that before. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't know of any
graceful way to get the point across. Perhaps when the Who brings
the food assignment is made, how much to bring should be mentioned,
to everyone. This way no one feels pointed out. I hope.

nancy

wrote:
> I have a question for ya'll. My husband and I get together with a
> group of friends every week to play games and hang out, and we all take
> turn making dinner. Several of us in the group like to cook and enjoy
> trying out new recipes, but some just bring sandwich meat and bread or
> pizza or something easy like that. It happens occaisionally (and most
> often when one particular group member is in charge of dinner), that we
> run out of food. I was wondering if anyone has any good websites I
> could forward to the group that give estimates of how much to buy/cook
> of various things (e.g. "x pieces of chicken" or "y lbs meat" per
> person)? .
>
> What got us thinking is recently, the member in question picked up
> fried chicken and sides for dinner. No big deal, except that there are
> 7 adults (4 men, 3 women--1 man was absent so total of 6 for the
> night), and she got 12 pieces of chicken and two tiny sides (one might
> have fed 2 people and the other maybe 4) plus a loaf of bakery bread.
> There might have been 2 chicken breasts in the batch, and the rest was
> legs, wings, and maybe a thigh. Several of us basically had bread for
> dinner that night. She actually asked as we were all leaving if there
> were any leftovers!
>
> I don't usually have trouble, since I grew up in with 4 siblings, so
> cooking for a group is easier than cooking for 2. But others just
> don't know portion sizes (or they think "serves 4-6" means they can
> feed 7 adults??). I found a couple of websites that talk about feeding
> crowds, but they're talking 20-50 people, not 7-8.
>
> Any help or pointers that I could pass on would be great! My challenge
> will be to find a way to bring it up without embarrassing anyone....

To be completely understanding and tolerant, you could speculate that
this woman eats like a bird and furthermore has no clue about
extrapolating quantities for a group.

Some people do eat very small portions, you know. We have some friends
who do, and whenever we have them over to dinner we are amazed at how
much leftover food there is. And they are thin, too. Eat less, stay
thin. Go figure! (and I don't think it's our food, either, they claim
to like our cooking)

No matter what her problem is, you still have to talk to her. Just
forwarding a web site won't do it. Try having a face-to-face
conversation with her, with nobody else around. Let her know that when
ordering for the gang she's been under-ordering - she probably doesn't
realize it, you tell her - and next time, maybe you want to check with
one of us on the quantities.

If she's "cheap" (or broke) then brainstorm with her on how to stretch
dollars further. She could make a pot of chili, for instance, and some
cornbread.

Just sayin'.

Leila

"Leila" > wrote in message
oups.com...

> Some people do eat very small portions, you know.

Yes, but anyone who eats a chicken wing and 2 bites of cole slaw has
psychological problems and needs to seek treatment.

> If she's "cheap" (or broke) then brainstorm with her on how to stretch
> dollars further. She could make a pot of chili, for instance, and some
> cornbread.

Teach her which foods can be successfully frozen for later use. Maybe she's
the type who calls the Department of Agriculture, and leaves messages all
over the web to find out if pizza can be frozen, rather than trying it
herself.

Nancy Young wrote:
> "zxcvbob" wrote
>
> > Bring a sandwich and a Thermos of soup along and leave them in the car
> > when it's her turn to cook. A really /good/ sandwich. When the food runs
> > out before you've been served, you can go get yours out of the car. Say
> > (as cheerfully and nonjudgmentally as possible) something like, "I knew
> > you never bring enough food so I packed a lunch." HTH ;-)
>
> (laugh!) Good one.
>
> Sorry to the OP, I think it's probably a hardcore case of cheapitis,
> I've seen that before. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't know of any
> graceful way to get the point across. Perhaps when the Who brings
> the food assignment is made, how much to bring should be mentioned,
> to everyone. This way no one feels pointed out. I hope.

This one is so easy, so pathetically simple that I'm udderly amazed
that none of yoose Einsteins has figgered it out. For more years than
I care to remember my mother and a group of her lady friends played mah
jong one night a week. They'd rotate houses but the same two women saw
to preparing the snacks/food, whatever it was they ate (when it was at
our house us three kids got to fress too, but in a another part of the
house - there was always plenty). How did this happen you ask...
everyone in the group contributed gelt. I don't know if they
contributed by the week, month, whatever, but there was always plenty
fressing gelt and also some set aside for when they occasionally went
out to eat and for once or twice a year for a weekend at some hotel in
the borscht belt. Those who knew about preparing food did the food
thingie.

There was never any arguing over who brought what food... there were
arguments for sure but not about the food.

Decide on a sufficient amount and everyone contribute equally. What's
so difficult?

Sheldon

>Decide on a sufficient amount and everyone contribute equally. What's
so difficult?

>Sheldon

Perhaps you could stress to the "she who thinks one chicken feeds 7"
that her share should be weighed not in number of servings, but by the
pound.
"Suzie... you bring a pound and a half of potato salad... we'll do the
rest".

If that doesn't work remind her that she's not Jesus and can't feed
the multitudes with $6.95 and a KFC coupon". Kev

"Sheldon" > wrote

> Decide on a sufficient amount and everyone contribute equally. What's
> so difficult?

Crossed my mind and vanished in under a nanosecond.

That way means one or two of the group will be stuck
with the chore every time, and always there will be the
one thinking someone is making a buck out of it.

nancy

zxcvbob wrote:
> wrote:
>
>> I have a question for ya'll. My husband and I get together with a
>> group of friends every week to play games and hang out, and we all take
>> turn making dinner. Several of us in the group like to cook and enjoy
>> trying out new recipes, but some just bring sandwich meat and bread or
>> pizza or something easy like that. It happens occaisionally (and most
>> often when one particular group member is in charge of dinner), that we
>> run out of food. I was wondering if anyone has any good websites I
>> could forward to the group that give estimates of how much to buy/cook
>> of various things (e.g. "x pieces of chicken" or "y lbs meat" per
>> person)? .
>>
>> What got us thinking is recently, the member in question picked up
>> fried chicken and sides for dinner. No big deal, except that there are
>> 7 adults (4 men, 3 women--1 man was absent so total of 6 for the
>> night), and she got 12 pieces of chicken and two tiny sides (one might
>> have fed 2 people and the other maybe 4) plus a loaf of bakery bread.
>> There might have been 2 chicken breasts in the batch, and the rest was
>> legs, wings, and maybe a thigh. Several of us basically had bread for
>> dinner that night. She actually asked as we were all leaving if there
>> were any leftovers!
>>
>> I don't usually have trouble, since I grew up in with 4 siblings, so
>> cooking for a group is easier than cooking for 2. But others just
>> don't know portion sizes (or they think "serves 4-6" means they can
>> feed 7 adults??). I found a couple of websites that talk about feeding
>> crowds, but they're talking 20-50 people, not 7-8.
>>
>> Any help or pointers that I could pass on would be great! My challenge
>> will be to find a way to bring it up without embarrassing anyone....
>
>
>
> Bring a sandwich and a Thermos of soup along and leave them in the car
> when it's her turn to cook. A really /good/ sandwich. When the food
> runs out before you've been served, you can go get yours out of the car.
> Say (as cheerfully and nonjudgmentally as possible) something like, "I
> knew you never bring enough food so I packed a lunch." HTH ;-)
>
> Bob

LOL!!! That is SOOOO funny


Roberta (in VA)

wrote:
> I have a question for ya'll. My husband and I get together with a
> group of friends every week to play games and hang out, and we all take
> turn making dinner. Several of us in the group like to cook and enjoy
> trying out new recipes, but some just bring sandwich meat and bread or
> pizza or something easy like that. It happens occaisionally (and most
> often when one particular group member is in charge of dinner), that we
> run out of food. I was wondering if anyone has any good websites I
> could forward to the group that give estimates of how much to buy/cook
> of various things (e.g. "x pieces of chicken" or "y lbs meat" per
> person)? .
>
> What got us thinking is recently, the member in question picked up
> fried chicken and sides for dinner. No big deal, except that there are
> 7 adults (4 men, 3 women--1 man was absent so total of 6 for the
> night), and she got 12 pieces of chicken and two tiny sides (one might
> have fed 2 people and the other maybe 4) plus a loaf of bakery bread.
> There might have been 2 chicken breasts in the batch, and the rest was
> legs, wings, and maybe a thigh. Several of us basically had bread for
> dinner that night. She actually asked as we were all leaving if there
> were any leftovers!
>
> I don't usually have trouble, since I grew up in with 4 siblings, so
> cooking for a group is easier than cooking for 2. But others just
> don't know portion sizes (or they think "serves 4-6" means they can
> feed 7 adults??). I found a couple of websites that talk about feeding
> crowds, but they're talking 20-50 people, not 7-8.
>
> Any help or pointers that I could pass on would be great! My challenge
> will be to find a way to bring it up without embarrassing anyone....

In catering, we generally figured a gross weight for all the food and
prepped to get to that point. For the kind of group and the kind of
sedentary setting, I'd figure a total weight for the meal per person at
about 1 1/4 pounds. Menu comes after that. Includes everything to be
eaten. Beverages extra.

If it were a group of lumberjacks, I'd go 1 3/4 to 2 pounds And if an
over-80, knitting club, 3/4 pound per person.

Pastorio

"Leila" > wrote

> To be completely understanding and tolerant, you could speculate that
> this woman eats like a bird and furthermore has no clue about
> extrapolating quantities for a group.

That might fly if it was the first time she was eating with the
group. If this is a regular thing, she *must* have noticed the
other people eat more.

Besides, when you cook for people at an occasion
like that, don't you make extra? I would, just in case.
I don't even know in case of what (laugh). All I know
is I'd rather have a lot left over than even one person
thinking ... I'd better not take that last piece.

Bring extra, that's what she should do.

nancy

Nancy Young wrote:
> "Sheldon" wrote
>
> > Decide on a sufficient amount and everyone contribute equally. What's
> > so difficult?
>
> Crossed my mind and vanished in under a nanosecond.
>
> That way means one or two of the group will be stuck
> with the chore every time, and always there will be the
> one thinking someone is making a buck out of it.

Who would want to belong to that club... with people like there there
really is no way that would satisfy, they're all crooked... who says
there's honor amonst thieves.

When people argue who got the bigger chicken leg it's time to reassess
ones sanity for wanting to take part.

How much do you like this person if it weren't for the problem of
getting enough to eat when it is her turn to serve dinner? That's the
crux of the problem. This goes for the other thread too on how to
divide a check fairly.


There are people I adore spending time with. I'm glad to do all the
cooking and all the picking up of the check. In one case I'm thinking
of, my friend is so generous in a thousand ways that I don't mind a bit.
I'm always welcome in her apartment which is always clean and friendly
when I get there. Nevermind that sometimes there's only ice water in
the fridge. She's GENEROUS when she offers me water. She's never
minded when I've complained irrationally. She's just shrugged and known
I'll get over it soon. When we go out together, she drives. She knows
I hate driving. When she runs out of gas, I fill up her tank. She's
never been too busy for me. We each make fabric art, and when I need a
critique, she gives me her honest opinion with tact and love. She puts
up with me in all the ways a friend has to. I've never called her in
the middle of the night, but it is nice knowing that I could. She
probably wouldn't mind that. And she's so appreciative of my cooking.
Granted I'm good at it and like it, but she eats my experiments and my
thrown-together meals with as much enthusiasm and good grace as you
could ask for. Mind cooking for her or getting the check? Nah, not in
a million years.


And then there are the people I think are cheap. It is hard to put my
finger on exactly what the difference is, but the bottom line is that I
don't like them much.


Many years ago I was in a low point of my life. I'd moved to a new
city, wasn't making much money. Though I wasn't in debt, was paying the
bills and could afford a dinner out now and then, I was on a pretty
strict budget. I didn't have friends in town and was under a lot of
pressure. Somehow I'd struck up a friendship with a woman who was
herself in a circle of friends. We were all single. I needed people to
hang out with and thought I liked them. Actually, I was in such a low
place that I felt lucky to be with them and have any friends at all.


More than once, the scenario would go like this: My friend would call
me up and ask me to dinner. She'd say we were celebrating another
friend's birthday. I'd understand that I was paying my own way and
order accordingly, but when the check came, she'd grab it, turn to the
birthday girl, and announce that WE were getting the check since it was
her birthday. If there were 4 of us at the table, I wouldn't pay for my
own meal (what I'd planned), and I wouldn't pay 1/4 of the total meals
(a little more but still acceptable), I'd pay 1/3 of the total meals (in
other words, my own meal and 1/3 of the birthday girl's) (more than I
counted on). Even that wouldn't bother me except that it always seemed
like the one who organized the whole deal would get thanked while I was
paying for it. It wasn't like a group where I'd get taken out on my
birthday. I just felt like I was paying for someone else's friend.


I got tricked a few times. One time I even got tricked into giving a
dinner party in my own home for her and her friends. She said she was
interested in cooking lessons, and I readily agreed that we'd buy
groceries and cook together and invite over a few guests. A few guests
turned into more guests, and before I knew it, my tiny apartment was
overrun with people she knew, and they all ended up thanking her for the
great party. They thanked me too, but it wasn't like I was on their
guest list for the future.


And you know what? I don't care. I minded a bit at the time, but in
the long run, I realized that I didn't like these people. It wasn't
that they were cheap, it was that they were crazy. They weren't fun to
be with. I wasn't interested in anything they had to say, and I'm sure
they were bored with me too. They were there for me during a time in my
life when I was too down to know any better. You could almost say I was
using them since I would have had no one to hang out with at all
otherwise. When better friends came along, I neatly slid out of that
group and have had no regrets about leaving.


That's all a long digression, but I'm still thinking about your
question. How much do you like the lady who doesn't buy enough food
when it is her turn to serve? If she's like the first friend I
described and you like her a lot, tell her she doesn't have to take a
turn serving but you want her to come to the gatherings anyway. If
she's like the second friend I described and you don't care for her that
much, tell her that there isn't enough food and that if she doesn't want
to get kicked out, buy more.


--Lia, the tactless

Nancy Young wrote:
> "Leila" > wrote
>
> > To be completely understanding and tolerant, you could speculate that
> > this woman eats like a bird and furthermore has no clue about
> > extrapolating quantities for a group.
>
> That might fly if it was the first time she was eating with the
> group. If this is a regular thing, she *must* have noticed the
> other people eat more.
>
> Besides, when you cook for people at an occasion
> like that, don't you make extra? I would, just in case.
> I don't even know in case of what (laugh). All I know
> is I'd rather have a lot left over than even one person
> thinking ... I'd better not take that last piece.

Of course I would, too. I almost always make more food than we can eat.
I am aware, however, that other people aren't like that. It may be
cultural (I'll say it - WASPs! - because my momma is one and I'm
allowed). It may be cluelessness or (shudder) food aversion. Really.
Some people don't like food, you know. They pick, they nibble, they
aren't that into it.

I wasn't talking about what *I* would do, I was trying to get into the
mind of a person who doesn't bring enough food for a party. And trying
not to demonize such a person in the process!

>
> Bring extra, that's what she should do.
>

Yup.

Leila

> nancy

On Tue, 17 Jan 2006 19:40:35 -0500, Julia Altshuler
> wrote:


>And you know what? I don't care. I minded a bit at the time, but in
>the long run, I realized that I didn't like these people. It wasn't
>that they were cheap, it was that they were crazy. They weren't fun to
>be with. I wasn't interested in anything they had to say, and I'm sure
>they were bored with me too. They were there for me during a time in my
>life when I was too down to know any better. You could almost say I was
>using them since I would have had no one to hang out with at all
>otherwise. When better friends came along, I neatly slid out of that
>group and have had no regrets about leaving.
>
>
>That's all a long digression, but I'm still thinking about your
>question. How much do you like the lady who doesn't buy enough food
>when it is her turn to serve? If she's like the first friend I
>described and you like her a lot, tell her she doesn't have to take a
>turn serving but you want her to come to the gatherings anyway. If
>she's like the second friend I described and you don't care for her that
>much, tell her that there isn't enough food and that if she doesn't want
>to get kicked out, buy more.
>
>
>--Lia, the tactless


Julia, I sympathise for the time you were alone and needed friends,
then found they weren't true friends. I'm sure that's happened to many
of us. And I applaud you for valuing friends who might have different
standards of hospitality, but nevertheless are true friends.

That's the crux of the matter when it comes to providing and accepting
hospitality. We are all interested in food. That's why where here. Our
friends might not be. They might also not be good cooks, or good hosts
or hostesses as such. It's not always the food that's important on
social occasions.

My neighbour invited us over for a meal recently to repay us for
several they'd had at our home. The meal was extremely ordinary, not
much home cooking involved. It's not what I would have served, but we
had a good night out nevertheless.

Kathy in NZ

On 17 Jan 2006, Sheldon wrote:

>
>
> This one is so easy, so pathetically simple that I'm udderly amazed
> that none of yoose Einsteins has figgered it out. For more years than
> I care to remember my mother and a group of her lady friends played mah
> jong one night a week. They'd rotate houses but the same two women saw
> to preparing the snacks/food, whatever it was they ate (when it was at
> our house us three kids got to fress too, but in a another part of the
> house - there was always plenty). How did this happen you ask...
> everyone in the group contributed gelt. I don't know if they
> contributed by the week, month, whatever, but there was always plenty
> fressing gelt and also some set aside for when they occasionally went
> out to eat and for once or twice a year for a weekend at some hotel in
> the borscht belt. Those who knew about preparing food did the food
> thingie.
>
> There was never any arguing over who brought what food... there were
> arguments for sure but not about the food.
>
> Decide on a sufficient amount and everyone contribute equally. What's
> so difficult?
>
> Sheldon
>
>

Yes, I agree that this is an option. But it isn't the option for everyone.
Through the years, I've been involved in a number of these kinds of
groups. There seems always to be the "slacker(s)" - for whatever reason.

I was in the "have recipes, can cook" category, and while I enjoy cooking
and entertaining, it is still "work" and it is time consuming. When only
some do all the "work" because others can't or won't - even when they pay
for a fair share - it doesn't balance out.

I've always had a job outside the home - as did most of the women in
these groups that I/we socialized with over the years. Everybody's time
was/is precious and everybody needed/needs the benefits of "a night out".

When four couples rotate once a week, then, once a week, 3 couples get a
fun, no-work, social activity. I've always liked to cook and entertain -
since I was a teenager putting together my mom's "turn" once a month. But
I like to be "entertained", too. What is the point of creating a wonderful
social life for others if you don't get to have one of your own?

I dropped out of several groups over the years because I morphed into the
"designated cook". I also became popular with certain "friends" as an
invited guest when it was "bring a dish or two". Oddly, these same
"friends" seemed to always only have my number when they were hosting a
Tupperware, Amway, or Mary Kay party or the pyramid scheme dejour. I've
never needed "friends" that badly (kinda like staying with a man who
beats you because the rest of the time "he's a really nice guy". sheesh)

I arrived at a "friend's" (one I had not heard from in over a year) house
at the invited time a few years back for
what had been billed as a "girls night out re-connecting" get-together
only to find a small number (about 8) of women (most with that
deer-caught-in-the-headlights
look) and a pyramid scheme display prominently arranged in the living
room.

My smiling, charming [Southerners are always smiling and charming -
at least *first*] "friend" met me at the door and ushered me into the
living room. When I asked what all this was, she explained that her friend
had graciously agreed - out of the goodness of her heart - to tell us
about an exciting new business opportunity in the cell phone field.

When I noted that this was the first I'd heard of it, she feigned
surprise. "Oh, did I forget to mention it? Oh, I was sure I told you."
I shook my smiling, charming head to indicate "no", as did most of the
other women. She continued [smiling and charming], "Well for goodness
sake! Can you beat that?!"

I [smiling and charming] replied, "As a matter of fact, I can! I forgot to
tell you that I won't be staying." I turned and headed for the door.
Behind me I could hear a flurry of "good-byes".

[I got a Christmas card from this broad this past year - after no contact
for almost 5 years. She's trying to update her 'current friends' list.
I wonder what she's selling now? I'd guess that the
"party" is scheduled for a weekend right about now. Aw, I'm going to miss
it <g>]


As "Dear Abby" (more or less) said about 30 years ago: You can't be a
doormat unless you lie down.

Elaine, too