Michael "Dog3" Lonergan wrote:

> I want a HUGE party when I die. Yep. An Irish wake complete with band.
> I'll get it too. I assure you the food will be "to die for." I hope
> everyone from RFC can come
>
Your wish is my command... did some calcs.... if I save about USD2.50
per month for the next forty years I will have enough money to pay for
the airline ticket... ooops make that USD10 per month (I have to
account for inflation)

That's my end of the bargain.... you have to live long enough for me to
fulfill it

Cheers
Cathy(xyz) - but I am only one-quarter Irish - does that still count?

"itsjoannotjoann" > wrote in message
oups.com...
>
> Lisa Ann wrote:
>
> > I dread having to deal with my brother when my Mom passes...I've asked
her
> > to specify *everything* in her will, and hopefully she'll do it...but
it's
> > gonna be ugly, regardless.
> >
> > Lisa Ann
>
>
> Perhaps your mom could give you and your brother a few things that
> either of you want now so he won't be squabbling with you when that
> dreaded time comes. Another possibility is she have you both over and
> make it plain who gets what and it's in the will.
>
> Just a thought

LOL - oh, Mom and I have talked about this a lot, especially after her
parents died. And it won't just be me who gets angry with my brother - my 2
sisters will probably wanna drown him in the lake too!

My brother is just one of those people who feels entitled to everything, and
it has value, then he'll demand it whether he actually wants it or not.

We don't get along.

Lisa Ann

On Fri, 03 Feb 2006 10:08:31 GMT, "Lisa Ann" >
connected the dots and wrote:

~"Wayne Boatwright" <wayneboatwright_at_gmail.com> wrote in message
. 228.19...
~>
~> I don't want a gravestone. All I want is a pair of stone hands
clawing
~> their way through the turf, a hidden speaker yelling at people who
come
~> too close to stop standing on me, and an epitaph that reads, "I
knew this
~> would happen!"
~
~LOL - good luck finding a cemetery that will let you have such a
grave
~decoration! And if it's insisted that you have a "traditional" flat
marker
~or something...find someone who'll install a hinge on it that causes
it to
~fly up and hands reach out of it when someone stands at the foot -
that
~might make a good second choice.

Then when the mowers came around to tidy things up, the plaque would
destroy the blades, and the hands would get chipped.

~
~Sometimes I think I want my epitaph to read, "Where am I, where am I
going,
~and why am I in this handbasket?"
~
~Lisa Ann
~
If you still have this sense of humor when you near your final days,
be sure to prepay and have the stone ordered and prepared.

maxine in ri, where there's an old graveyard in almost every back
yard

In article >,
Dave Smith > wrote:
>J wrote:
>
>>
>> I've only been to a few funerals, but none were catered. Is this
>> something common in some parts of the world? When my grandfathers
>> and grandmother died, all the food was home-cooked and brought by
>> friends. Their friends brought enough food to feed us (my
>> family, including two teenage male athletes) for days. Catered food
>> at a funeral just seems... wrong. Is it common? If it matters,
>> I am from Northern Wisconsin. Lots of hotdishes at funerals. All
>> homemade by little old ladies. Not the Jam Mistress, but our own
>> Jewish old ladies.
>
>Is that not still catered? I remember when it was customary for people going
>to a funeral to take a plate of sandwiches, a casserole, some cookies, cake or
>something to a funeral. My wife's church caters funerals all the time. The
>women's group charges a set amount per person depending on whether they are
>having just tea and coffee or if it will include sandwiches, cookies and
>veggie plates etc.

Well, having the church ladies charge a (very small) fee to provide
coffee, cookies, and sandwiches is just barely within the realm of
"catering", but like some others around here, I don't think of it when I
think of the word "catered/caterer" because like many in the US, I think
of a caterer as someone whose profession it is to provide food for money.
The church ladies aren't making their living doing this (at the prices you
mentioned they're lucky to cover expenses).

("Catering" has a more general meaning in the UK, at least it did when I
lived there.)

The idea of a professionally catered funeral (not just, say, going to
the deli and picking up a tray to take back to the lunch venue) makes me
blink, as funerals tend to be arranged with a lot shorter notice than
weddings, anniversaries, etc.

The idea of a professionally catered Jewish funeral makes me really
boggle, as my understanding was that the services needed to be held
very shortly after the actual death. That's not a lot of notice to call
someone up, book them, and get the food produced!

Charlotte
--

"Charlotte L. Blackmer" wrote:

> >Is that not still catered? I remember when it was customary for people going
> >to a funeral to take a plate of sandwiches, a casserole, some cookies, cake or
> >something to a funeral. My wife's church caters funerals all the time. The
> >women's group charges a set amount per person depending on whether they are
> >having just tea and coffee or if it will include sandwiches, cookies and
> >veggie plates etc.
>
> Well, having the church ladies charge a (very small) fee to provide
> coffee, cookies, and sandwiches is just barely within the realm of
> "catering", but like some others around here, I don't think of it when I
> think of the word "catered/caterer" because like many in the US, I think
> of a caterer as someone whose profession it is to provide food for money.
> The church ladies aren't making their living doing this (at the prices you
> mentioned they're lucky to cover expenses).

I never thought of the term "catered" as being determined by the amount of money
that changes hands, only that some did. I would suggest that it is still catered,
though perhaps catered cheaply. The church ladies generally make no money at all on
the deal, at least not in the churches around here. The church ladies go out and
buy the bread, butter, sandwich fillings, baking supplies etc. and then make the
items at home. They take them to the church hall, set them out, make coffee and
tea, serve the food and clean up. Someone pays the church or the organization.
The women do not even get reimbursed for their expenses.


That is why I suggested that there is an element of abuse in these arrangements.
It is certainly nice that they are community minded and realize the value of
chipping in when members of their (church) community are in need. I, for one, am
grateful that there are people like that around. However, I think that perhaps they
are being taken advantage of when the same arrangements are available to outsiders.




>
>
> ("Catering" has a more general meaning in the UK, at least it did when I
> lived there.)
>
> The idea of a professionally catered funeral (not just, say, going to
> the deli and picking up a tray to take back to the lunch venue) makes me
> blink, as funerals tend to be arranged with a lot shorter notice than
> weddings, anniversaries, etc.
>
> The idea of a professionally catered Jewish funeral makes me really
> boggle, as my understanding was that the services needed to be held
> very shortly after the actual death. That's not a lot of notice to call
> someone up, book them, and get the food produced!
>
> Charlotte
> --

In article >,
(Charlotte L. Blackmer) wrote:

>
> The idea of a professionally catered Jewish funeral makes me really
> boggle, as my understanding was that the services needed to be held
> very shortly after the actual death. That's not a lot of notice to call
> someone up, book them, and get the food produced!
>
> Charlotte
> --

This was a memorial service, not a burial service, Charlotte. My sense
is that a private service was held shortly after Barbie's death. This
was a few days later. If that's what you were referring to.
-Barb
--
http://www.jamlady.eboard.com, updated 2-4-2006, Masa

On Mon, 06 Feb 2006 15:21:23 -0600, Melba's Jammin'
> connected the dots and wrote:

~In article >,
~ (Charlotte L. Blackmer) wrote:
~
~>
~> The idea of a professionally catered Jewish funeral makes me really
~> boggle, as my understanding was that the services needed to be held
~> very shortly after the actual death. That's not a lot of notice to
call
~> someone up, book them, and get the food produced!
~>
~> Charlotte
~> --
~
~This was a memorial service, not a burial service, Charlotte. My
sense
~is that a private service was held shortly after Barbie's death. This
~was a few days later. If that's what you were referring to.
~-Barb

The funeral is generally held as soon after death as possible. After
the casket has been put in the ground, and each person who wishes puts
a shovel-full or two into the hole, folks return to the house (where
there should be a pitcher of water to ritually wash hands on the
outside steps), and comfort the mourners. If they're traditional,
friends will have made and brought a bunch of food, set it up, and got
the coffee going, covered the mirrors. This is how it worked when my
Dad died 17 years ago.

When my cousin died, her family had deli platters and rolls, and
salad, coffee, tea, juice, and a woman to tend to the food. The
remaining female members of the clan numbed their sorrows. The men
were a little more circumspect.

This period of mourning last for 3-7 days, usually ending on the next
Friday night sundown.

maxine in ri

On Mon, 13 Feb 2006 13:50:29 GMT, "Michael \"Dog3\" Lonergan"
> connected the dots and wrote:

~maxine in ri > hitched up their panties and
posted
:
~
~> On Mon, 06 Feb 2006 15:21:23 -0600, Melba's Jammin'
~> > connected the dots and wrote:
~>
~> ~In article >,
~> ~ (Charlotte L. Blackmer) wrote:
~> ~
~> ~>
~> ~> The idea of a professionally catered Jewish funeral makes me
really
~> ~> boggle, as my understanding was that the services needed to be
held
~> ~> very shortly after the actual death. That's not a lot of notice
to
~> call
~> ~> someone up, book them, and get the food produced!
~> ~>
~> ~> Charlotte
~> ~> --
~> ~
~> ~This was a memorial service, not a burial service, Charlotte. My
~> sense
~> ~is that a private service was held shortly after Barbie's death.
This
~> ~was a few days later. If that's what you were referring to.
~> ~-Barb
~>
~> The funeral is generally held as soon after death as possible.
After
~> the casket has been put in the ground, and each person who wishes
puts
~> a shovel-full or two into the hole, folks return to the house
(where
~> there should be a pitcher of water to ritually wash hands on the
~> outside steps), and comfort the mourners. If they're traditional,
~> friends will have made and brought a bunch of food, set it up, and
got
~> the coffee going, covered the mirrors. This is how it worked when
my
~> Dad died 17 years ago.
~>
~> When my cousin died, her family had deli platters and rolls, and
~> salad, coffee, tea, juice, and a woman to tend to the food. The
~> remaining female members of the clan numbed their sorrows. The men
~> were a little more circumspect.
~>
~> This period of mourning last for 3-7 days, usually ending on the
next
~> Friday night sundown.
~>
~> maxine in ri
~>
~>
~
~Are you Jewish? We had to sit Shiva for 7 days after Steven's father
died.
~There were limousines and everything. I thought it odd but just
played
~along. The food was GOOD. Mostly home made and brought by family
members.
~Lots of chopped liver (one of my faves). Steven's cousin, Sylvia,
brought
~the chopped liver. She still comes over once a month to see us.
~
~Michael

Yes. Traditional shiva is 7 days (shiva means 7 IIRC), but my family
never sits that long. Also, you're not supposed to mourn from Friday
sundown to Saturday sundown, and a lot of people go on with their
lives after that, so it is shortened.

Typical funeral stuff with the limo, the hearse, the pallbearers,
graveside service are all common. I don't think that Christians have
the "toss a couple of shovelsfull of earth into the grave" ritual, but
it's considered the a true act of kindness, since the deceased can't
repay you for it, or even say thank you.

It's nice of Sylvia to come visit. Does she still bring food? What
do you feed her?

OB Food: I treated the teenager to dinner out tonight for helping
with the shoveling at her grandmtoher's house. She had 4-cheese pizza
and an oreo brownie sundae at Uno's. I just had soup and the other
side of her dessert.

maxine in ri

In article >,
Melba's Jammin' > wrote:
>In article >,
> (Charlotte L. Blackmer) wrote:
>
>>
>> The idea of a professionally catered Jewish funeral makes me really
>> boggle, as my understanding was that the services needed to be held
>> very shortly after the actual death. That's not a lot of notice to call
>> someone up, book them, and get the food produced!
>>
>> Charlotte

>
>This was a memorial service, not a burial service, Charlotte. My sense
>is that a private service was held shortly after Barbie's death. This
>was a few days later. If that's what you were referring to.

Ah, makes a difference! Mind you, the time between death and funeral
seems to be stretching in my church. Sometimes professionals come in and
use our hall to set the food up, sometimes my fellow Coffee Hour Ladies
and/or the family (with a CHL supervising, etc.) bring it all in and
arrange it.

(Our Hattie has been dead for ten years. I thought of that between the
time I saw your reply, and the time I answered. *sigh*)

Charlotte
--

On Monday, January 30, 2006 at 5:18:11 PM UTC-6, --Bryan wrote:
> Wayne Boatwright wrote:
> > On Sun 29 Jan 2006 12:12:35a, Thus Spake Zarathustra, or was it cathyxyz?
> >
> > > I have attended a few funerals in my time and there has indeed been food
> > > and drink served at the "wake". However, after the service, I did not go
> > > to all my other friends and say "Wow, what great food they had at that
> > > funeral!." I don't even remember what they served at the last one I went
> > > to - it was for a young boy of 18 who had been killed by a drunk driver.
> > > All I remember is the incredible grief. That's what I find ghoulish. And
> > > IMHO, no matter how one dies it is ALWAYS a terrible thing for the ones
> > > left behind. I know that having a wake or whatever you want to call it
> > > is traditional in most religions; I don't have a problem with that - but
> > > I still feel that discussing the food served afterward, with strangers -
> > > who never even knew the deceased, is not something I can bring myself to
> > > do.
> >
> > I agree with you Cathy. Never until reading it here have I heard of people
> > going to a funeral anticipating what kind of food was going to be served,
> > much less writing a review of it afterward, and even comparing it to a host
> > of other funeral meals they've had. I guess if you read Usenet long
> > enough, you'll eventually hear everything. :-)
> Back in the early 80s this guy who I didn't know well, but had drank
> beer with a few times on the Riverfront in downtown St. Louis died
> after falling down an elevator shaft at a warehouse where there was an
> illegal party going on. I had gotten a ride to a party on Saturday,
> and unbeknownst to me, everyone else at the party had planned on going
> to the funeral the next day. As a rule, I don't do funerals because of
> corpses but I had no other choice unless I wanted to spend a shitload
> on a cab.
> The funeral was bizarre because Mike and his brother* were the only
> African Americans in the StL Punk scene, and the pallbearers were
> mostly White guys with big, green Mohawks and such, and the pews were a
> mix of Black folks in their Sunday finest and punk rockers dressed,
> well, like punk rockers.
> In the "Order of Service" pamphlet there was a thing that said "The
> Viewing of the Remains." Me and my two buddies were trying really hard
> not to crack up about that because the last thing we wanted to do was
> be disrespectful. Eventually it got to that part of the service, and
> we just let people squeeze by us to go up there to "view the remains."
> It became much more challenging when the minister looked right at the
> three of us and said, reaching out and up with his arms, "Everybody
> view the remains," then when he noticed we weren't budging he added,
> "If you wants to." It took all each of us had not to just lose it, but
> we all manged.
> On the way to the wake I was starved and I was trying to get my buddy
> to stop and at least go through the drive-through at Popeyes. I was
> practically begging him, but he wouldn't stop. Then I remembered it
> was an African American wake, and figured that it was pretty well
> certain I'd be served fried chicken. I wasn't disappointed.

> * A couple years later the guy's brother put out my wife's hair that
> had caught on fire. The rest of the wussyass punk rockers just backed
> away, but Marcus without hesitation grabbed her hair and put it out.
> This was about a year before I met her.
> >
Dave's funeral posts reminded me of this.
>
> > --
> > Wayne Boatwright
> --Bryan
>
--Bryan

Bryan Simmons wrote:

> On Monday, January 30, 2006 at 5:18:11 PM UTC-6, --Bryan wrote:
> > Wayne Boatwright wrote:
> > > On Sun 29 Jan 2006 12:12:35a, Thus Spake Zarathustra, or was it
> > > cathyxyz?
> > >
> > > > I have attended a few funerals in my time and there has indeed
> > > > been food and drink served at the "wake". However, after the
> > > > service, I did not go to all my other friends and say "Wow,
> > > > what great food they had at that funeral!." I don't even
> > > > remember what they served at the last one I went to - it was
> > > > for a young boy of 18 who had been killed by a drunk driver.
> > > > All I remember is the incredible grief. That's what I find
> > > > ghoulish. And IMHO, no matter how one dies it is ALWAYS a
> > > > terrible thing for the ones left behind. I know that having a
> > > > wake or whatever you want to call it is traditional in most
> > > > religions; I don't have a problem with that - but I still feel
> > > > that discussing the food served afterward, with strangers - who
> > > > never even knew the deceased, is not something I can bring
> > > > myself to do.
> > >
> > > I agree with you Cathy. Never until reading it here have I heard
> > > of people going to a funeral anticipating what kind of food was
> > > going to be served, much less writing a review of it afterward,
> > > and even comparing it to a host of other funeral meals they've
> > > had. I guess if you read Usenet long enough, you'll eventually
> > > hear everything. :-)
> > Back in the early 80s this guy who I didn't know well, but had drank
> > beer with a few times on the Riverfront in downtown St. Louis died
> > after falling down an elevator shaft at a warehouse where there was
> > an illegal party going on. I had gotten a ride to a party on
> > Saturday, and unbeknownst to me, everyone else at the party had
> > planned on going to the funeral the next day. As a rule, I don't do
> > funerals because of corpses but I had no other choice unless I
> > wanted to spend a shitload on a cab.
> > The funeral was bizarre because Mike and his brother* were the only
> > African Americans in the StL Punk scene, and the pallbearers were
> > mostly White guys with big, green Mohawks and such, and the pews
> > were a mix of Black folks in their Sunday finest and punk rockers
> > dressed, well, like punk rockers.
> > In the "Order of Service" pamphlet there was a thing that said "The
> > Viewing of the Remains." Me and my two buddies were trying really
> > hard not to crack up about that because the last thing we wanted to
> > do was be disrespectful. Eventually it got to that part of the
> > service, and we just let people squeeze by us to go up there to
> > "view the remains." It became much more challenging when the
> > minister looked right at the three of us and said, reaching out and
> > up with his arms, "Everybody view the remains," then when he
> > noticed we weren't budging he added, "If you wants to." It took all
> > each of us had not to just lose it, but we all manged.
> > On the way to the wake I was starved and I was trying to get my
> > buddy to stop and at least go through the drive-through at Popeyes.
> > I was practically begging him, but he wouldn't stop. Then I
> > remembered it was an African American wake, and figured that it was
> > pretty well certain I'd be served fried chicken. I wasn't
> > disappointed.
>
> > * A couple years later the guy's brother put out my wife's hair that
> > had caught on fire. The rest of the wussyass punk rockers just
> > backed away, but Marcus without hesitation grabbed her hair and put
> > it out. This was about a year before I met her.
> > >
> Dave's funeral posts reminded me of this.
> >
> > > --
> > > Wayne Boatwright


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Ask them, theyre here. "You can stop saying that now. Thank you."
--
The real Dr. Bruce posts with uni-berlin.de - individual.net