are walking down the street together when they spot a 10 year old boy
on a
park bench.
"Lets screw him" sez the priest.
"Out of what?" replies the rabbi.

anon


Sheldon

In article .com>,
"Sheldon" > wrote:

> are walking down the street together when they spot a 10 year old boy
> on a
> park bench.
> "Lets screw him" sez the priest.
> "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.
>
> anon
>
>
> Sheldon
>

Cute, but this one is better:


BEWARE OF BLOND GENIES


A white guy is walking along the beach when he sees a lamp partially
buried* in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. Two blonde
genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes. The
guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies > disappear.

The next thing the guy knows, he's in a bedroom, in a mansion surrounded
by 50 beautiful women. He makes love to all of them and begins to
explore the house. Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet, he
looks down
and the floor is covered in $100 bills. Then, there's a knock at the
door. He answers it and standing there are two persons dressed in Ku
Klux*Klan outfits They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw* a
rope over a limb and hang him by the neck until he's dead. As the
Klansmen are walking away, they remove their hoods; it's the two blonde
genies. One blonde genie says to the other one," I can understand the
first wish having all these beautiful women in a big mansion to make
love to. I can also understand him* wanting to be a millionaire . . .
but why he wanted to be hung like a* black man is beyond me."
--
Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

On Mon, 30 Jan 2006 15:55:46 -0600, OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:

> In article .com>,
> "Sheldon" > wrote:
>
>> are walking down the street together when they spot a 10 year old boy
>> on a
>> park bench.
>> "Lets screw him" sez the priest.
>> "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.
>>
>> anon
>>
>>
>> Sheldon
>>
>
> Cute, but this one is better:


Hardy har..

"OmManiPadmeOmelet" > wrote in message
...

<snipped cute joke>

Thanks, Om...my boyfriend would say thanks too, but he has to go wipe the
Mountain Dew up that he just spewed everywhere.

Lisa Ann

On 2006-01-30, Sheldon > wrote:
> are walking down the street together when they spot a 10 year old boy
> on a
> park bench.
> "Lets screw him" sez the priest.
> "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.


A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks
"What is this, some sort of a joke?"

nb

In article >,
jay > wrote:

> On Mon, 30 Jan 2006 15:55:46 -0600, OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
>
> > In article .com>,
> > "Sheldon" > wrote:
> >
> >> are walking down the street together when they spot a 10 year old boy
> >> on a
> >> park bench.
> >> "Lets screw him" sez the priest.
> >> "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.
> >>
> >> anon
> >>
> >>
> >> Sheldon
> >>
> >
> > Cute, but this one is better:
>
>
> Hardy har..

;-)
--
Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

In article >,
"Lisa Ann" > wrote:

> "OmManiPadmeOmelet" > wrote in message
> ...
>
> <snipped cute joke>
>
> Thanks, Om...my boyfriend would say thanks too, but he has to go wipe the
> Mountain Dew up that he just spewed everywhere.
>
> Lisa Ann
>
>

<lol!>
Thanks... ;-D
--
Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

In article >,
notbob > wrote:

> On 2006-01-30, Sheldon > wrote:
> > are walking down the street together when they spot a 10 year old boy
> > on a
> > park bench.
> > "Lets screw him" sez the priest.
> > "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.
>
>
> A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks
> "What is this, some sort of a joke?"
>
> nb

ROFL!!!
--
Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

"OmManiPadmeOmelet" > wrote in message
...
>
> Cute, but this one is better:
>
>
> BEWARE OF BLOND GENIES
>
>
> A white guy is walking along the beach when he sees a lamp partially
> buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. Two blonde
> genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes. The
> guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies > disappear.
>
> The next thing the guy knows, he's in a bedroom, in a mansion surrounded
> by 50 beautiful women. He makes love to all of them and begins to
> explore the house. Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet, he
> looks down
> and the floor is covered in $100 bills. Then, there's a knock at the
> door. He answers it and standing there are two persons dressed in Ku
> Klux Klan outfits They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a
> rope over a limb and hang him by the neck until he's dead. As the
> Klansmen are walking away, they remove their hoods; it's the two blonde
> genies. One blonde genie says to the other one," I can understand the
> first wish having all these beautiful women in a big mansion to make
> love to. I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire . . .
> but why he wanted to be hung like a black man is beyond me."
> --

I understand that you can get used senses of humor, cheap, at the morgue.

--
Peter Aitken
Visit my recipe and kitchen myths page at www.pgacon.com/cooking.htm

"notbob" > wrote in message
...
> On 2006-01-30, Sheldon > wrote:
>> are walking down the street together when they spot a 10 year old boy
>> on a
>> park bench.
>> "Lets screw him" sez the priest.
>> "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.
>
>
> A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks
> "What is this, some sort of a joke?"
>
> nb

Hurray! Now *that's* a joke. Bravo.


--
Peter Aitken

In article >,
"Peter Aitken" > wrote:

> I understand that you can get used senses of humor, cheap, at the morgue.
>
> --
> Peter Aitken
> Visit my recipe and kitchen myths page at www.pgacon.com/cooking.htm

Thank you. <bows>

But I did find Shel's joke funny... ;-)

Cheers!
--
Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

On 2006-01-30, Peter Aitken > wrote:

> Hurray! Now *that's* a joke. Bravo.

A termiite walks in off the street and sits down at the bar. He says,
"Is the bartender, here?".

nb

"notbob" > wrote in message
...
> On 2006-01-30, Sheldon > wrote:
>> are walking down the street together when they spot a 10 year old boy
>> on a
>> park bench.
>> "Lets screw him" sez the priest.
>> "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.
>
>
> A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks
> "What is this, some sort of a joke?"
>
> nb

Ah, now THAT is indeed a joke!

Felice

In article >,
notbob > wrote:

> On 2006-01-30, Peter Aitken > wrote:
>
> > Hurray! Now *that's* a joke. Bravo.
>
> A termiite walks in off the street and sits down at the bar. He says,
> "Is the bartender, here?".
>
> nb

Boo, hiss. ;-D
--
Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

notbob wrote:

> On 2006-01-30, Peter Aitken > wrote:
>
> > Hurray! Now *that's* a joke. Bravo.
>
> A termiite walks in off the street and sits down at the bar. He says,
> "Is the bartender, here?".


[This was purportedly Ronald Reagan's fave joke...]

A black guy with his pet parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar. The
bartender looks at him and says, "Where'd you get him?". The parrot
replies, "Africa!"...

--
Best
Greg

Michael "Dog3" Lonergan wrote:

> Groan....


Names

A cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in,
he realizes it's a *** bar. "But what the heck,"
he says to himself, I really want a drink."

When the *** waiter approaches, he says to
the cowboy, "What's the name of your love tool?"
The cowboy says, "Look, I'm not into any of that.
All I want is a drink." The *** waiter says, "I'm sorry
but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of
your penis. Mine for instance is called Nike, for the
slogan 'Just Do It.' That guy down at the end of the
bar calls his Snickers, because 'It Really Satisfies'."

The cowboy looks dumbfounded so the bartender
tells him he will give him a second to think it over.
So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left,
who is sipping on a beer, "Hey bud, what's the
name of yours?"

The man looks back and says with a smile "TIMEX."
The thirsty cowboy asks, "Why Timex?" The fella
proudly replies, "Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps
on tickin'!"

A little shaken, the cowboy turns to the fella on
his right, who is sipping a fruity Margarita and
says, "So, what do you call yours?" The man
turns to him and proudly exclaims,"FORD,
because Quality is Job One." Then he adds,
"Have you driven a Ford, lately?"

Even more shaken, the Cowboy has to think for
a moment before he comes up with a name for
his manhood. Finally, he turns to the bartender
and exclaims, "The name of my male member is
'SECRET'. Now give me a beer."

The bartender begins to pour the cowboy a
beer, but with a puzzled look asks, "Why
Secret?"

The cowboy says, "Because it's STRONG
ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR
A WOMAN!"

</>

Seen that one, but it's worth a re-run...... ;-D



In article . net>,
"Gregory Morrow"

> Names
>
> A cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in,
> he realizes it's a *** bar. "But what the heck,"
> he says to himself, I really want a drink."
>
> When the *** waiter approaches, he says to
> the cowboy, "What's the name of your love tool?"
> The cowboy says, "Look, I'm not into any of that.
> All I want is a drink." The *** waiter says, "I'm sorry
> but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of
> your penis. Mine for instance is called Nike, for the
> slogan 'Just Do It.' That guy down at the end of the
> bar calls his Snickers, because 'It Really Satisfies'."
>
> The cowboy looks dumbfounded so the bartender
> tells him he will give him a second to think it over.
> So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left,
> who is sipping on a beer, "Hey bud, what's the
> name of yours?"
>
> The man looks back and says with a smile "TIMEX."
> The thirsty cowboy asks, "Why Timex?" The fella
> proudly replies, "Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps
> on tickin'!"
>
> A little shaken, the cowboy turns to the fella on
> his right, who is sipping a fruity Margarita and
> says, "So, what do you call yours?" The man
> turns to him and proudly exclaims,"FORD,
> because Quality is Job One." Then he adds,
> "Have you driven a Ford, lately?"
>
> Even more shaken, the Cowboy has to think for
> a moment before he comes up with a name for
> his manhood. Finally, he turns to the bartender
> and exclaims, "The name of my male member is
> 'SECRET'. Now give me a beer."
>
> The bartender begins to pour the cowboy a
> beer, but with a puzzled look asks, "Why
> Secret?"
>
> The cowboy says, "Because it's STRONG
> ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR
> A WOMAN!"
>
> </>
--
Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

"notbob" > wrote in message
. ..
> On 2006-01-30, Peter Aitken > wrote:
>
>> Hurray! Now *that's* a joke. Bravo.
>
> A termiite walks in off the street and sits down at the bar. He says,
> "Is the bartender, here?".
>
> nb

',;~}~

This man, he walks into a bar: "Ouch!"






Shaun aRe

Gregory Morrow wrote:
>
>
> [This was purportedly Ronald Reagan's fave joke...]

Why does that not surprise me at all...?

>
> A black guy with his pet parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar. The
> bartender looks at him and says, "Where'd you get him?". The parrot
> replies, "Africa!"...

Yeah, really funny. Asshole.


-L.

Gregory Morrow wrote:

<snip>

> A little shaken, the cowboy turns to the fella on
> his right, who is sipping a fruity Margarita and
> says, "So, what do you call yours?" The man
> turns to him and proudly exclaims,"FORD,
> because Quality is Job One." Then he adds,
> "Have you driven a Ford, lately?"

I heard a variation of that one during the John Bobbit era, only then
FORD stood for "found on road, dead."

A man walks into a bar carrying a piece of asphalt. Placing the chunk
of asphalt on the bar, he says to the bartender. "One for me and one
for the road."

In article >,
Pennyaline > wrote:

> Gregory Morrow wrote:
>
> <snip>
>
> > A little shaken, the cowboy turns to the fella on
> > his right, who is sipping a fruity Margarita and
> > says, "So, what do you call yours?" The man
> > turns to him and proudly exclaims,"FORD,
> > because Quality is Job One." Then he adds,
> > "Have you driven a Ford, lately?"
>
> I heard a variation of that one during the John Bobbit era, only then
> FORD stood for "found on road, dead."

Fix or repair daily........ ;-)
--
Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

Michael Dog3 Lonergan wrote:
> OmManiPadmeOmelet > looking for trouble wrote in
> :
> > "Have you driven a Ford, lately?"
> >>
> >> I heard a variation of that one during the John Bobbit era, only then
> >> FORD stood for "found on road, dead."
> >
> > Fix or repair daily........ ;-)
>
> FORD ?

Better than FIAT: Fix it again, Tony ;-o

maxine in ri

In article >,
Pennyaline > wrote:

> L, not -L wrote:
> > On 31-Jan-2006, OmManiPadmeOmelet > wrote:
> >
> >> Fix or repair daily........ ;-)
> >
> > Fix and repair mean the same thing in this usage. Fix or replace daily is
> > how I have known it.
>
> I hate having to explain a joke. Summarized: John Bobbit, Lorena Bobbit,
> one knife, nocturnal car ride, threw it out the window... Found on road,
> dead.
>
> <wait, wait, here's another one: did you hear about Lorena Bobbit's car
> accident? Some dick cut her off!>

John Bobbit got a really good job once this was all over with...

He went to work for Snap-on tools.
--
Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
> In article >,
> Pennyaline > wrote:
>
> > L, not -L wrote:
> > > On 31-Jan-2006, OmManiPadmeOmelet > wrote:
> > >
> > >> Fix or repair daily........ ;-)
> > >
> > > Fix and repair mean the same thing in this usage. Fix or replace daily is
> > > how I have known it.
> >
> > I hate having to explain a joke. Summarized: John Bobbit, Lorena Bobbit,
> > one knife, nocturnal car ride, threw it out the window... Found on road,
> > dead.
> >
> > <wait, wait, here's another one: did you hear about Lorena Bobbit's car
> > accident? Some dick cut her off!>
>
> John Bobbit got a really good job once this was all over with...
>
> He went to work for Snap-on tools.

You evil bitch! I was eating cheerios ya know, and now I got one stuck
in my sinuses ...<snort>... ah, that's better. Don't do that again.

Staples are better... I got yer Schwingline! hehe

Sheldon Schweldon

L, not -L wrote:
> On 31-Jan-2006, OmManiPadmeOmelet > wrote:
>
>> Fix or repair daily........ ;-)
>
> Fix and repair mean the same thing in this usage. Fix or replace daily is
> how I have known it.

I hate having to explain a joke. Summarized: John Bobbit, Lorena Bobbit,
one knife, nocturnal car ride, threw it out the window... Found on road,
dead.

<wait, wait, here's another one: did you hear about Lorena Bobbit's car
accident? Some dick cut her off!>

In article . com>,
"Sheldon" > wrote:

> OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
> > In article >,
> > Pennyaline > wrote:
> >
> > > L, not -L wrote:
> > > > On 31-Jan-2006, OmManiPadmeOmelet > wrote:
> > > >
> > > >> Fix or repair daily........ ;-)
> > > >
> > > > Fix and repair mean the same thing in this usage. Fix or replace daily
> > > > is
> > > > how I have known it.
> > >
> > > I hate having to explain a joke. Summarized: John Bobbit, Lorena Bobbit,
> > > one knife, nocturnal car ride, threw it out the window... Found on road,
> > > dead.
> > >
> > > <wait, wait, here's another one: did you hear about Lorena Bobbit's car
> > > accident? Some dick cut her off!>
> >
> > John Bobbit got a really good job once this was all over with...
> >
> > He went to work for Snap-on tools.
>
> You evil bitch! I was eating cheerios ya know, and now I got one stuck
> in my sinuses ...<snort>... ah, that's better. Don't do that again.
>
> Staples are better... I got yer Schwingline! hehe
>
> Sheldon Schweldon
>

<snork>
Glad ya enjoyed it..... ;-D

Cheers!
--
Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

In article >,
says...
> In article >,
> Pennyaline > wrote:
>
> > Gregory Morrow wrote:
> >
> > <snip>
> >
> > > A little shaken, the cowboy turns to the fella on
> > > his right, who is sipping a fruity Margarita and
> > > says, "So, what do you call yours?" The man
> > > turns to him and proudly exclaims,"FORD,
> > > because Quality is Job One." Then he adds,
> > > "Have you driven a Ford, lately?"
> >
> > I heard a variation of that one during the John Bobbit era, only then
> > FORD stood for "found on road, dead."
>
> Fix or repair daily........ ;-)
>

Or Found On Road Dead

Sheldon wrote:
> are walking down the street together when they spot a 10 year old boy
> on a
> park bench.
> "Lets screw him" sez the priest.
> "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.

If the boy is you and they simply kill him, they'll have screwed him
out of a chance to grow up stupid enough to think that vile joke
is funny.

--Blair