1.** Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.*
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
*
** 2.** Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible.** In a
world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.
*
** 3.** Men are very confident people.* My husband is so confident that
when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates
he can help his team.* If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players
from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get
off the phone in case they call him.
*
** 4.** All men are afraid of eyelash curlers.* I sleep with one under
my pillow, instead of a gun.
*
** 5.** A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner.* These men
usually have jobs and bathe.
*
** 6.** Men are sensitive in strange ways.* If a man has built a fire
and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
*
** 7.** Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating
goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man.* Men are like
portable heaters that snore.
*
** 8.** Women take clothing much more seriously than men.* I've never
seen a man walk into a party and say, "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed;
get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo."
*
** 9.** Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is
usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the
door.
*
** 10.* No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record
saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
*
** 11.* Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the
movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.
*
** 12.* Men hate to lose.* I once beat my husband at tennis.* I asked
him, "Are we going to have sex again?" He said, "Yes, but not with each
other."
*
** 13.* Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a
problem "Get out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a
challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, "I love
you* . . . I want to marry you . . I want to have your children."*
Sometimes they leave skid marks.
*
** 14.* Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with
super heroes.* Women have bad self-images because they grow up
identifying with Barbie.
*
** 15.* Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause.* With
female menopause - you gain weight and get hot flashes.* Male menopause
- you get to date young girls, shave your head, get tattoos and drive
motorcycles.
*
** 16.* Men forget everything; women remember everything.* That's why
men need instant replays in sports.* They've already forgotten what
happened.
--
Peace, Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson