Not sure how many will find this one to be funny, but the scary thing
is, I actually know some women like this...

RED NECK MAMA
A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15
kids..."WOW,"
the social worker exclaims,"are they ALL YOURS???"
"Yep they are all mine," the flustered momma sighs, having heard that
question a thousand
times before. She says, "Sit down Leroy." All the children rush to find
seats.
"Well," says the social worker, "then you must be here to sign up. I'll
need all your children's
names."
"This one's my oldest - he is Leroy."
"OK, and who's next?"
"Well, this one he is Leroy, also."
The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues. One by one, through
the
oldest four, all boys, all named Leroy.
Then she is introduced to the eldest girl, named Leighroy!
"All right," says the caseworker. "I'm seeing a pattern here. Are they
ALL
named Leroy?"
Their Momma replied, "Well, yes-it makes it easier. When it is time to
get
them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, 'Leroy!' An' when it's time
for dinner, I just yell 'Leroy!' an' they all comes arunnin.' An 'if I
need
to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell 'Leroy' and
all
of them stop. It's the smartest idea I ever had,namin' them all Leroy."
The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead
and says tentatively, "But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not
the whole bunch?"
"I just call them by their last names."
--
Peace, Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

OmManiPadmeOmelet > wrote in news:Omelet-
:

> Not sure how many will find this one to be funny, but the scary thing
> is, I actually know some women like this...
>
> RED NECK MAMA
> A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15
> kids..."WOW,"
> the social worker exclaims,"are they ALL YOURS???"
> "Yep they are all mine," the flustered momma sighs, having heard that
> question a thousand
> times before. She says, "Sit down Leroy." All the children rush to find
> seats.
> "Well," says the social worker, "then you must be here to sign up. I'll
> need all your children's
> names."
> "This one's my oldest - he is Leroy."
> "OK, and who's next?"
> "Well, this one he is Leroy, also."
> The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues. One by one, through
> the
> oldest four, all boys, all named Leroy.
> Then she is introduced to the eldest girl, named Leighroy!
> "All right," says the caseworker. "I'm seeing a pattern here. Are they
> ALL
> named Leroy?"
> Their Momma replied, "Well, yes-it makes it easier. When it is time to
> get
> them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, 'Leroy!' An' when it's
time
> for dinner, I just yell 'Leroy!' an' they all comes arunnin.' An 'if I
> need
> to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell 'Leroy' and
> all
> of them stop. It's the smartest idea I ever had,namin' them all Leroy."
> The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her
forehead
> and says tentatively, "But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and
not
> the whole bunch?"
> "I just call them by their last names."

<GRIN>

Andy

On Mon, 27 Mar 2006 08:05:23 -0600, OmManiPadmeOmelet
> wrote:

>RED NECK MAMA

Tasteless yet racist all at the same time.

OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
> Not sure how many will find this one to be funny, but the scary thing
> is, I actually know some women like this...
>
> RED NECK MAMA
>
Heh. Reminds me of the Bob Newhart show (I think) or was it Greenacres?.
"This is my brother Darryl and this is my other brother Darryl."

Cheers
Cathy(xyz)

It was the Bob Newhart show, the last TV show series he made.. Can't
remember the real name but remember those three brother act.

On Mon, 27 Mar 2006 15:29:54 GMT, Ward Abbott >
wrote:

>On Mon, 27 Mar 2006 08:05:23 -0600, OmManiPadmeOmelet
> wrote:
>
>>RED NECK MAMA
>
>Tasteless yet racist all at the same time.
>
But also funny!

I have to agree with ya there. That was a good one!

On Mon, 27 Mar 2006 11:25:48 -0500, Karen AKA Kajikit
> wrote:


>>
>>>RED NECK MAMA
>>
>>Tasteless yet racist all at the same time.
>>
>But also funny!

Leroy, food stamps, welfare.(you get the racist picture, just like I
did the first time I heard the joke)...it would have been more funny
if they would have changed "Leroy" to Muffy, or Sissy, or Missy, or
Mary Pat.

In article >, Andy <q> wrote:

> OmManiPadmeOmelet > wrote in news:Omelet-
> :
>
>
> > The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her
> forehead
> > and says tentatively, "But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and
> not
> > the whole bunch?"
> > "I just call them by their last names."
>
> <GRIN>
>
> Andy


;-)
--
Peace, Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

In article >,
Ward Abbott > wrote:

> On Mon, 27 Mar 2006 08:05:23 -0600, OmManiPadmeOmelet
> > wrote:
>
> >RED NECK MAMA
>
> Tasteless yet racist all at the same time.
>
>

Some tasteless jokes are the funniest, depending on what mood you are
in. ;-)

Oddly enough, some of the funniest racist jokes have been told to me by
people of that race...

One of my favorite mexican jokes was told to my by my hispanic immigrant
boss. I'll post it tomorrow.
--
Peace, Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

In article >,
cathyxyz > wrote:

> OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
> > Not sure how many will find this one to be funny, but the scary thing
> > is, I actually know some women like this...
> >
> > RED NECK MAMA
> >
> Heh. Reminds me of the Bob Newhart show (I think) or was it Greenacres?.
> "This is my brother Darryl and this is my other brother Darryl."
>
> Cheers
> Cathy(xyz)

Or that scene in the movie XXX where the two Russian agents were both
named "Ivan".
--
Peace, Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

In article >,
Ward Abbott > wrote:

> On Mon, 27 Mar 2006 11:25:48 -0500, Karen AKA Kajikit
> > wrote:
>
>
> >>
> >>>RED NECK MAMA
> >>
> >>Tasteless yet racist all at the same time.
> >>
> >But also funny!
>
> Leroy, food stamps, welfare.(you get the racist picture, just like I
> did the first time I heard the joke)...it would have been more funny
> if they would have changed "Leroy" to Muffy, or Sissy, or Missy, or
> Mary Pat.
>
>

Yah, but those don't fit if it's a boy.....
--
Peace, Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
> In article >,
> cathyxyz > wrote:
>
>> OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
>>> Not sure how many will find this one to be funny, but the scary thing
>>> is, I actually know some women like this...
>>>
>>> RED NECK MAMA
>>>
>> Heh. Reminds me of the Bob Newhart show (I think) or was it Greenacres?.
>> "This is my brother Darryl and this is my other brother Darryl."
>>
>> Cheers
>> Cathy(xyz)
>
> Or that scene in the movie XXX where the two Russian agents were both
> named "Ivan".

Pronounced I-vaa-n, I presume? heh heh heh.

Cheers
Cathy(xyz) - who can't wait

On Mon, 27 Mar 2006 11:32:25 -0600, OmManiPadmeOmelet
> wrote:

>One of my favorite mexican jokes was told to my by my hispanic immigrant

You really are treading thin with all the immigrant rioting going on
in LA and other SW locations right now.

Talk about insensitive. Can't you dig up a wap joke...or jew joke?

On Mon, 27 Mar 2006 11:34:27 -0600, OmManiPadmeOmelet
> wrote:

>Yah, but those don't fit if it's a boy.....


....so a loose woman who has 15 kids and they ALL managed to be male? I
don't believe you.

In article >,
cathyxyz > wrote:

> OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
> > In article >,
> > cathyxyz > wrote:
> >
> >> OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
> >>> Not sure how many will find this one to be funny, but the scary thing
> >>> is, I actually know some women like this...
> >>>
> >>> RED NECK MAMA
> >>>
> >> Heh. Reminds me of the Bob Newhart show (I think) or was it Greenacres?.
> >> "This is my brother Darryl and this is my other brother Darryl."
> >>
> >> Cheers
> >> Cathy(xyz)
> >
> > Or that scene in the movie XXX where the two Russian agents were both
> > named "Ivan".
>
> Pronounced I-vaa-n, I presume? heh heh heh.
>
> Cheers
> Cathy(xyz) - who can't wait

Great movie... :-)

Wish the sequal had been as good!
It was ok, but not as humorous.

Is it just me or are most sequals like that?
--
Peace, Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

In article >,
Ward Abbott > wrote:

> On Mon, 27 Mar 2006 11:32:25 -0600, OmManiPadmeOmelet
> > wrote:
>
> >One of my favorite mexican jokes was told to my by my hispanic immigrant
>
> You really are treading thin with all the immigrant rioting going on
> in LA and other SW locations right now.
>
> Talk about insensitive. Can't you dig up a wap joke...or jew joke?
>

I have a Jewish joke or two on file, (my father is Jewish) and the only
italian joke I know is:

What do you call an Italian with only one arm?

Speech impaired.

Oh, and then there is the Italian vampire joke with the alligator.....

One of the more interesting racist jokes is a double whammy.
It's the one about the two blond genies. It's a black joke as well as
being a blond joke, and all of my black co-workers at work thought it
was funny as hell, and passed it on to their relatives.

I'm sure you've already heard it.....

Cheers! :-)
--
Peace, Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

In article >,
Ward Abbott > wrote:

> On Mon, 27 Mar 2006 11:34:27 -0600, OmManiPadmeOmelet
> > wrote:
>
> >Yah, but those don't fit if it's a boy.....
>
>
> ...so a loose woman who has 15 kids and they ALL managed to be male? I
> don't believe you.
>
>

Didn't you READ the joke?
The girls were named "Leighroy".
--
Peace, Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

Ward Abbott wrote:
> On Mon, 27 Mar 2006 11:34:27 -0600, OmManiPadmeOmelet
> > wrote:
>
>> Yah, but those don't fit if it's a boy.....
>
>
> ...so a loose woman who has 15 kids and they ALL managed to be male?
>
>
Yep. They were going for a football team (with reserves)
Lighten up, Ward... if everyone got upset about
Irish/Italian/Polish/Jewish/blond or "you-name-it" jokes, then where
would we be???

What's the definition of a Polish bra?

<Cathy folds her arms across her chest>

You got it!

Cheers
Cathy(xyz)

In article >,
cathyxyz > wrote:

> Ward Abbott wrote:
> > On Mon, 27 Mar 2006 11:34:27 -0600, OmManiPadmeOmelet
> > > wrote:
> >
> >> Yah, but those don't fit if it's a boy.....
> >
> >
> > ...so a loose woman who has 15 kids and they ALL managed to be male?
> >
> >
> Yep. They were going for a football team (with reserves)
> Lighten up, Ward... if everyone got upset about
> Irish/Italian/Polish/Jewish/blond or "you-name-it" jokes, then where
> would we be???
>
> What's the definition of a Polish bra?
>
> <Cathy folds her arms across her chest>
>
> You got it!
>
> Cheers
> Cathy(xyz)
>

ROFL!!! I'd never heard that one before.

Love it!
--
Peace, Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
> In article >,
> cathyxyz > wrote:

>>
>> What's the definition of a Polish bra?
>>
>> <Cathy folds her arms across her chest>
>>
>> You got it!

>
> ROFL!!! I'd never heard that one before.
>
> Love it!

<EG> It's all "relative"

At least you got the "point(s)"

Cheers
Cathy(xyz)

Ward Abbott wrote:
> On Mon, 27 Mar 2006 11:25:48 -0500, Karen AKA Kajikit
> > wrote:
>
>
>
>>>>RED NECK MAMA
>>>
>>>Tasteless yet racist all at the same time.
>>>
>>
>>But also funny!
>
>
> Leroy, food stamps, welfare.(you get the racist picture, just like I
> did the first time I heard the joke)...it would have been more funny
> if they would have changed "Leroy" to Muffy, or Sissy, or Missy, or
> Mary Pat.
>
>

How is using the name "Leroy", and referring to welfare and food stamps
racist?

--

saerah

http://anisaerah.blogspot.com/

email:
anisaerah at s b c global.net

Adam Bowman wrote:
>I always wonder when someone brings up a point about Bush, and you
> then bring up something that Clinton did, are you saying they are both
> wrong? Because that's all it points out to me, places where they both
> messed up. It doesn't negate the fact that Bush did wrong; was that
> your intention?
>
> That type of argument is like
>
> "Bob shot someone"
>
> "Yeah, but don't you remember when Don hit that guy with a bat?"
>

Ward Abbott wrote:
> On Mon, 27 Mar 2006 11:34:27 -0600, OmManiPadmeOmelet
> > wrote:
>
>
>>Yah, but those don't fit if it's a boy.....
>
>
>
> ...so a loose woman


what about the loose men who impregnanted her? Oh yeah, I forgot, men
are supposed to be sluts.

>who has 15 kids and they ALL managed to be male? I
> don't believe you.
>
>

It was a joke dude. Chill.

--

saerah

http://anisaerah.blogspot.com/

email:
anisaerah at s b c global.net

Adam Bowman wrote:
>I always wonder when someone brings up a point about Bush, and you
> then bring up something that Clinton did, are you saying they are both
> wrong? Because that's all it points out to me, places where they both
> messed up. It doesn't negate the fact that Bush did wrong; was that
> your intention?
>
> That type of argument is like
>
> "Bob shot someone"
>
> "Yeah, but don't you remember when Don hit that guy with a bat?"
>

In article >,
Ward Abbott > wrote:

> On Mon, 27 Mar 2006 11:32:25 -0600, OmManiPadmeOmelet
> > wrote:
>
> >One of my favorite mexican jokes was told to my by my hispanic immigrant
>
> You really are treading thin with all the immigrant rioting going on
> in LA and other SW locations right now.
>
> Talk about insensitive. Can't you dig up a wap joke...or jew joke?

How about aa presbyterian joke? Now *those* are funny people!

--
Dan Abel

Petaluma, California, USA

In article >,
OmManiPadmeOmelet > wrote:

> In article >,
> cathyxyz > wrote:
>
> > Ward Abbott wrote:
> > > On Mon, 27 Mar 2006 11:34:27 -0600, OmManiPadmeOmelet
> > > > wrote:
> > >
> > >> Yah, but those don't fit if it's a boy.....
> > >
> > >
> > > ...so a loose woman who has 15 kids and they ALL managed to be male?
> > >
> > >
> > Yep. They were going for a football team (with reserves)
> > Lighten up, Ward... if everyone got upset about
> > Irish/Italian/Polish/Jewish/blond or "you-name-it" jokes, then where
> > would we be???
> >
> > What's the definition of a Polish bra?
> >
> > <Cathy folds her arms across her chest>
> >
> > You got it!
> >
> > Cheers
> > Cathy(xyz)
> >
>
> ROFL!!! I'd never heard that one before.
>
> Love it!

That's not funny.

[Dan, who just never finds underwear jokes funny for some reason]

--
Dan Abel

Petaluma, California, USA

In article >,
Ward Abbott > wrote:

> On Mon, 27 Mar 2006 08:05:23 -0600, OmManiPadmeOmelet
> > wrote:
>
> >RED NECK MAMA
>
> Tasteless yet racist all at the same time.

Tasteless? Yes.


Funny? Yes.


Racist? You lost me there. I saw no reference to race.

--
Dan Abel

Petaluma, California, USA

OmManiPadmeOmelet > wrote in news:Omelet-
:


From your reader responses, I'm obviously in the wrong line of work.

Maybe I could transfer to the Cliche of the Day dept.

Andy
CotD #2

In article >,
sarah bennett > wrote:

> Ward Abbott wrote:
> > On Mon, 27 Mar 2006 11:34:27 -0600, OmManiPadmeOmelet
> > > wrote:
> >
> >
> >>Yah, but those don't fit if it's a boy.....
> >
> >
> >
> > ...so a loose woman
>
>
> what about the loose men who impregnanted her? Oh yeah, I forgot, men
> are supposed to be sluts.

Gotta love the double standard. ;-)

>
> >who has 15 kids and they ALL managed to be male? I
> > don't believe you.
> >
> >
>
> It was a joke dude. Chill.
>
> --
>
> saerah

Indeedy!
--
Peace, Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

In article >,
Dan Abel > wrote:

> In article >,
> Ward Abbott > wrote:
>
> > On Mon, 27 Mar 2006 11:32:25 -0600, OmManiPadmeOmelet
> > > wrote:
> >
> > >One of my favorite mexican jokes was told to my by my hispanic immigrant
> >
> > You really are treading thin with all the immigrant rioting going on
> > in LA and other SW locations right now.
> >
> > Talk about insensitive. Can't you dig up a wap joke...or jew joke?
>
> How about aa presbyterian joke? Now *those* are funny people!
>
> --
> Dan Abel

Jehovah Witness Missionary jokes are generally fair game. ;-)
--
Peace, Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

In article >, Andy <q> wrote:

> OmManiPadmeOmelet > wrote in news:Omelet-
> :
>
>
> From your reader responses, I'm obviously in the wrong line of work.
>
> Maybe I could transfer to the Cliche of the Day dept.
>
> Andy
> CotD #2

<giggles>

I don't always get this kind of response.....
--
Peace, Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

On Mon, 27 Mar 2006 20:27:52 GMT, sarah bennett
> wrote:

>How is using the name "Leroy", and referring to welfare and food stamps
>racist?

YOU heard the joke the same way I HEARD the joke the first. time. The
operative word here is LEROY...not little Bobby, Jimmy or Samuel, or
Jacob.

On Mon, 27 Mar 2006 20:29:17 GMT, sarah bennett
> wrote:

>It was a joke dude

Are you a jew with a name like Sarah?

On Mon, 27 Mar 2006 12:58:15 -0800, Dan Abel > wrote:

>Racist? You lost me there. I saw no reference to race.

Leroy...go fetch me a switch from the willow tree boy.

Ward Abbott wrote:
> On Mon, 27 Mar 2006 20:27:52 GMT, sarah bennett
> > wrote:
>
>
>>How is using the name "Leroy", and referring to welfare and food stamps
>>racist?
>
>
> YOU heard the joke the same way I HEARD the joke the first. time. The
> operative word here is LEROY...not little Bobby, Jimmy or Samuel, or
> Jacob.
>
>
>
>
>

so? plenty of folks, black and white and whatever, have the name
"leroy". Plenty of folks of all races on welfare too.


--

saerah

http://anisaerah.blogspot.com/

email:
anisaerah at s b c global.net

Adam Bowman wrote:
>I always wonder when someone brings up a point about Bush, and you
> then bring up something that Clinton did, are you saying they are both
> wrong? Because that's all it points out to me, places where they both
> messed up. It doesn't negate the fact that Bush did wrong; was that
> your intention?
>
> That type of argument is like
>
> "Bob shot someone"
>
> "Yeah, but don't you remember when Don hit that guy with a bat?"
>

Ward Abbott wrote:
> On Mon, 27 Mar 2006 20:29:17 GMT, sarah bennett
> > wrote:
>
>
>>It was a joke dude
>
>
> Are you a jew with a name like Sarah?

I'm kinds partial to 'heeb', myself.

--

saerah

http://anisaerah.blogspot.com/

email:
anisaerah at s b c global.net

Adam Bowman wrote:
>I always wonder when someone brings up a point about Bush, and you
> then bring up something that Clinton did, are you saying they are both
> wrong? Because that's all it points out to me, places where they both
> messed up. It doesn't negate the fact that Bush did wrong; was that
> your intention?
>
> That type of argument is like
>
> "Bob shot someone"
>
> "Yeah, but don't you remember when Don hit that guy with a bat?"
>

In article >,
Ward Abbott > wrote:

> On Mon, 27 Mar 2006 20:27:52 GMT, sarah bennett
> > wrote:
>
> >How is using the name "Leroy", and referring to welfare and food stamps
> >racist?
>
> YOU heard the joke the same way I HEARD the joke the first. time. The
> operative word here is LEROY...not little Bobby, Jimmy or Samuel, or
> Jacob.

Sorry, I never *HEARD* it, I read it on this group. I still don't
understand the "racist" bit. All different races use welfare and food
stamps.

--
Dan Abel

Petaluma, California, USA

In article >,
Dan Abel > wrote:

> In article >,
> Ward Abbott > wrote:
>
> > On Mon, 27 Mar 2006 20:27:52 GMT, sarah bennett
> > > wrote:
> >
> > >How is using the name "Leroy", and referring to welfare and food stamps
> > >racist?
> >
> > YOU heard the joke the same way I HEARD the joke the first. time. The
> > operative word here is LEROY...not little Bobby, Jimmy or Samuel, or
> > Jacob.
>
> Sorry, I never *HEARD* it, I read it on this group. I still don't
> understand the "racist" bit. All different races use welfare and food
> stamps.

Even tho' the joke was referring to rednecks, I think he is saying that
Leroy is a common black name.

I've known whites that were named Leroy tho'...
--
Peace, Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

"OmManiPadmeOmelet" > wrote in message
...
> In article >, Andy <q> wrote:
>
> > OmManiPadmeOmelet > wrote in news:Omelet-
> > :
> >
> >
> > From your reader responses, I'm obviously in the wrong line of work.
> >
> > Maybe I could transfer to the Cliche of the Day dept.
> >
> > Andy
> > CotD #2
>
> <giggles>
>
> I don't always get this kind of response.....

There is another path this joke can take you down. One way to commit welfare
fraud that is common among those who do fraud (not an indictment) is to
borrow children to claim more benefits. I was thinking she might have
borrowed several Leroys, then it surprized me with the multiple dads ending.
--
Lefty

Life is for learning
The worst I ever had was wonderful
> --

"Ward Abbott" > wrote in message
...
> On Mon, 27 Mar 2006 11:32:25 -0600, OmManiPadmeOmelet
> > wrote:
>
>>One of my favorite mexican jokes was told to my by my hispanic immigrant
>
> You really are treading thin with all the immigrant rioting going on
> in LA and other SW locations right now.
>
> Talk about insensitive. Can't you dig up a wap joke...or jew joke?

An Italian priest, a rabbi, and an Jehovah's Witness walk into a bar.

And the bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

In article >, Ward Abbott > wrote:
>On Mon, 27 Mar 2006 08:05:23 -0600, OmManiPadmeOmelet
> wrote:
>
>>RED NECK MAMA
>
>Tasteless yet racist all at the same time.

Why racist? It just said "A woman walks ..."

Sounds pretty generic to me.

Cheers, Phred.

--
LID