Not sure how many will find this one to be funny, but the scary thing
is, I actually know some women like this...

RED NECK MAMA
A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15
kids..."WOW,"
the social worker exclaims,"are they ALL YOURS???"
"Yep they are all mine," the flustered momma sighs, having heard that
question a thousand
times before. She says, "Sit down Leroy." All the children rush to find
seats.
"Well," says the social worker, "then you must be here to sign up. I'll
need all your children's
names."
"This one's my oldest - he is Leroy."
"OK, and who's next?"
"Well, this one he is Leroy, also."
The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues. One by one, through
the
oldest four, all boys, all named Leroy.
Then she is introduced to the eldest girl, named Leighroy!
"All right," says the caseworker. "I'm seeing a pattern here. Are they
ALL
named Leroy?"
Their Momma replied, "Well, yes-it makes it easier. When it is time to
get
them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, 'Leroy!' An' when it's time
for dinner, I just yell 'Leroy!' an' they all comes arunnin.' An 'if I
need
to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell 'Leroy' and
all
of them stop. It's the smartest idea I ever had,namin' them all Leroy."
The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead
and says tentatively, "But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not
the whole bunch?"
"I just call them by their last names."
--
Peace, Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson