Never fight with a woman!!

A couple goes on holiday to a fishing resort at Lakes entrance.
The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes
to read.

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing
and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lakes
area, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a
short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book.

Along comes a fishing inspector in his boat. He pulls up
alongside the woman and says, "Good morning ma'am. What are you
doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies (thinking "isn't that obvious!").

"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.

"I' m sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading!"

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could
start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and make a
report."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,"
says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you" says the man.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know
you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am" and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can
also think.

Om wrote:

> A couple goes on holiday to a fishing resort at Lakes entrance.
> The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes
> to read.
<snip>
> MORAL:
<snip>

I hate preachy jokes. The joke was over, but you had to throw the MORAL in
there to make a Lilith-Fair-type political statement. That RUINED it. To
take the bad taste out, here's a joke where the MORAL is the punch line:


My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year and we decided to get
married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me. And my
girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very
much indeed. That one thing was her younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age. She was constantly
pressing up against me, bending over in front of me, blowing in my ear, or
making smirking little double entendres whenever we talked. One day little
sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.

She was all alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I would be
married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome
and didn't really *want* to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make
love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her
sister.

I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs
to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me."
Then she started slowly climbing the stairs, while unbuttoning her clothes
at the same time.

I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.

I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door.
I opened the door and stepped out of the house and walked straight towards
my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his
eyes, he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our
little test. We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to
the family!"

MORAL: Always keep your condoms in the car.


Bob

"Bob Terwilliger" > ha scritto nel messaggio
...
> Om wrote:
>
>> A couple goes on holiday to a fishing resort at Lakes entrance.
>> The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes
>> to read.
> <snip>
>> MORAL:
> <snip>
>
> I hate preachy jokes. The joke was over, but you had to throw the MORAL
> in
> there to make a Lilith-Fair-type political statement. That RUINED it. To
> take the bad taste out, here's a joke where the MORAL is the punch line:
>
>
> My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year and we decided to get
> married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me. And
> my
> girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very
> much indeed. That one thing was her younger sister.
>
> My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age. She was constantly
> pressing up against me, bending over in front of me, blowing in my ear, or
> making smirking little double entendres whenever we talked. One day little
> sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.
>
> She was all alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I would be
> married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't
> overcome
> and didn't really *want* to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make
> love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her
> sister.
>
> I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going
> upstairs
> to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get
> me."
> Then she started slowly climbing the stairs, while unbuttoning her clothes
> at the same time.
>
> I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.
>
> I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front
> door.
> I opened the door and stepped out of the house and walked straight towards
> my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his
> eyes, he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our
> little test. We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to
> the family!"
>
> MORAL: Always keep your condoms in the car.
>
>
> Bob
--------------------
After this I would never married his daughter no more! It is a lack of
confidence!
Cheers
Pandora

Bob Terwilliger wrote:

<snipped>


> I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door.
> I opened the door and stepped out of the house and walked straight towards
> my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his
> eyes, he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our
> little test. We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to
> the family!"
>
> MORAL: Always keep your condoms in the car.
>
>
> Bob
>
>

I'd seen this one.
Excellent post! <lol>

Om

In article >,
OmManiPadmiOmelet > wrote:
> Never fight with a woman!!
>
> A couple goes on holiday to a fishing resort at Lakes entrance.
> The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes
> to read.

(old joke snipped)

Your recipe must have been deleted when you posted.

This is good - I haven't made it in years.
{ Exported from MasterCook Mac }

Vegetable Strudel

Recipe By: posted to rec.food.cooking by Barb Schaller, 4-24-2006

3 cups chopped fresh broccoli
3 cups chopped fresh cauliflower
2 1/2 cups chopped carrots
8 Tbsp. butter divided
1 large onion coarsely chopped
2 cloves garlic finely chopped
3 eggs
2 tsp. minced fresh parsley
1 1/2 tsp. dried basil crumbled
1 tsp. minced fresh tarragon (or 1/2 tsp. dried
and crumbled)
1 tsp. salt
freshly ground pepper
1 # Swiss or Cheddar shredded
14 leaves frozen filo pastry thawed
sesame seeds (optional)

Combine the broccoli, cauliflower and carrots in a steamer. Place over
boiling water; steam until crisp-tender. Let cool slightly.

Melt 2 tablespoons of the butter in a medium skillet over medium heat.
Add onions and garlic. Cover and cook, stirring occasionally, until
golden (about 10 minutes). Let cool slightly.

combine eggs, parsley, basil, tarragon, salt and pepper in a large bowl;
beat well. Add steamed vegetables, onion mixture and shredded cheese;
mix gently but thoroughly.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Oil a large baking sheet; set aside. Melt
remaining 6 tablespoons of butter for brushing the filo.

Place 1 sheet filo on large baking sheet (cover remaining filo with a
damp towel to prevent drying). Brush with melted butter. Stack the
remaining filo sheets on top, brushing all but the last sheet with
butter. Spread the vegetable mixture onto dough,leaving a 3" border on
all sides. Fold in the short end of the dough, then fold in long sides
far enough to overlap 1" at the center. Brush with butter to seal.

Brush top with butter. Sprinkle with sesame seeds if desired. Bake
until golden, about 20-30 minutes. Transfer to a heated platter; serve
immediately. (Hollandaise sauce is a nice accompaniment.)

Makes 6-8 servings.

----------
Notes: (Kay K 2/25/89) Source: Eighth Annual Readers Best Recipe
Cookbook, Minneapolis Star and Tribune, page 41.

--
-Barb
<http://jamlady.eboard.com> Updated 4-20-2006 with our visit
to Kramarczuk's.
"If it's not worth doing to excess, it's not worth doing at all."

On 24 Apr 2006 01:18:27 -0500, "Bob Terwilliger"
> wrote:

>Om wrote:
>
>> A couple goes on holiday to a fishing resort at Lakes entrance.
>> The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes
>> to read.
><snip>
>> MORAL:
><snip>
>
>I hate preachy jokes. The joke was over, but you had to throw the MORAL in
>there to make a Lilith-Fair-type political statement. That RUINED it. To
>take the bad taste out, here's a joke where the MORAL is the punch line:
>
>
>My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year and we decided to get
>married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me. And my
>girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very
>much indeed. That one thing was her younger sister.
>
>My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age. She was constantly
>pressing up against me, bending over in front of me, blowing in my ear, or
>making smirking little double entendres whenever we talked. One day little
>sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.
>
>She was all alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I would be
>married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome
>and didn't really *want* to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make
>love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her
>sister.
>
>I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs
>to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me."
>Then she started slowly climbing the stairs, while unbuttoning her clothes
>at the same time.
>
>I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.
>
>I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door.
>I opened the door and stepped out of the house and walked straight towards
>my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his
>eyes, he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our
>little test. We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to
>the family!"
>
>MORAL: Always keep your condoms in the car.
>
>
>Bob

I hate sophomoric jokes with contrived moral lessons that are at once
so obvious that there is hardly even a joke and so unlikely as to be
laughable. The real joke is the joke itself.

You chastize Om for quite a nice joke with a forgivable moral lesson
attached (which is easily omitted) then you submit a clumbsy and
obvious attempt at humor which is a very thinly disguised morality
lesson and a bad one at that.

Om's jokes are generally good to very good.


--
For email, use

LurfysMa wrote:

> I hate sophomoric jokes with contrived moral lessons that are at once
> so obvious that there is hardly even a joke and so unlikely as to be
> laughable. The real joke is the joke itself.
>
> You chastize Om for quite a nice joke with a forgivable moral lesson
> attached (which is easily omitted) then you submit a clumbsy and
> obvious attempt at humor which is a very thinly disguised morality
> lesson and a bad one at that.
>
> Om's jokes are generally good to very good.

I hate posters who:

(1) can't be bothered to spell-check
(2) think they're entitled to force their value systems on me
(3) who post more about jokes in a cooking newsgroup than they post about
cooking.

I think it's best if I just never see any more of your posts.

Buh-bye!

Bob

On Mon, 24 Apr 2006 08:26:12 +0200, Pandora wrote:

> After this I would never married his daughter no more! It is a lack of
> confidence!

It's a joke he turned into a personal event.
--

Ham and eggs.
A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.