You may know that I'm the mother of two large small boys, 6 1/2 and
almost 5; they are high-spirited, hilarious, sloppy, and not good at
fine motor tasks. Meals at my house are therefore messy and chaotic. We
eat in the kitchen, which is small and cluttered. The kids are always
rambunctious at suppertime and I get frazzled. They behave reasonably
well at table in restaurants and grandparents' homes, however, so they
aren't completely savage. But the younger one has been refusing to come
to the table (???) and was beginning to test me in other ways at supper
time. What a hassle.

Today the 6 y.o. and I were at Ikea, where he was enchanted by a model
dining room; he sat down at a place setting, discussed the
arrangements, spent ten minutes organizing and rearranging the plates,
chargers, candles etc. He's neurologically atypical and can be quirky
about things - he likes lining items up in rows. He just loved that
table setting, was delighted by the whole room. A light bulb went off
in my head. why not put out placemats and set the table decently at
home?

For dinner tonight I asked the two boys if they wanted to eat in the
dining room: YES! Want to help set the table? YES!!!! Oh boy. They got
to choose placemats and plate color, and the four year old found napkin
rings and insisted we use them (he'd never seen them used in this
house, don't know where he got the idea). THey brought serving dishes
in, and carefully laid a slice of cuke and tomato on mom and dad's
plates - saving some for us, you know, as they polished off the rest of
'em themselves. They were models of civilized behavior. Furthermore -
who would have thought that the 4 y.o., who is obsessed with guns,
police, wearing construction worker costumes, nose picking and fart
jokes, would turn into such a table-service diva? He pulled out five
tea candles - one for each of us and one for the center. He directed
the placement of napkin rings. He unfolded the napkin and placed it
carefully on his lap. ???

Somehow these children have gotten a taste for civilized dining. God
knows they haven't seen much of it in our house lately, but they eat
with grandma once a week, and she sets a nice table (but mostly in her
tiny kitchen, not all this folderol of candles and such).

I have resolved to eat dinner in the dining room every night. It causes
such good behavior (and we like looking out the window at the sunset
reflected on our roses)

Furthermore, the civilized atmosphere makes the food taste better. Ob
Food: Tonight was pot roast in the pressure cooker, a simple recipe
with red wine, diced tomatoes, onion and garlic. I should have put in
celery and carrot but I just forgot...ANyway, you can bet that the
father of the household was happy to come home to well-behaved
children, a lovely dining room (most of the kid clutter had been swept
elsewhere) and a nice pot roast (and me, smiling serenely in the
candlelight). Here's to the finer domestic niceties.

Leila

"Leila" > wrote in message
ups.com...
> Furthermore, the civilized atmosphere makes the food taste better. Ob
> Food: Tonight was pot roast in the pressure cooker, a simple recipe
> with red wine, diced tomatoes, onion and garlic. I should have put in
> celery and carrot but I just forgot...ANyway, you can bet that the
> father of the household was happy to come home to well-behaved
> children, a lovely dining room (most of the kid clutter had been swept
> elsewhere) and a nice pot roast (and me, smiling serenely in the
> candlelight). Here's to the finer domestic niceties.

What a lovely story Thank you so much for sharing)

O

In article . com>,
"Leila" > wrote:

>
> I have resolved to eat dinner in the dining room every night. It causes
> such good behavior (and we like looking out the window at the sunset
> reflected on our roses)

When the novelty wears off. . . .

> candlelight). Here's to the finer domestic niceties.
> Leila

Na zdravie!.

--
-Barb
<http://jamlady.eboard.com> Updated 5/22/2006, Church Review completed
"If it's not worth doing to excess, it's not worth doing at all."

"Leila" > wrote in message
ups.com...
> You may know that I'm the mother of two large small boys, 6 1/2 and
> almost 5; they are high-spirited, hilarious, sloppy, and not good at
> fine motor tasks. Meals at my house are therefore messy and chaotic. We
> eat in the kitchen, which is small and cluttered. The kids are always
> rambunctious at suppertime and I get frazzled. They behave reasonably
> well at table in restaurants and grandparents' homes, however, so they
> aren't completely savage. But the younger one has been refusing to come
> to the table (???) and was beginning to test me in other ways at supper
> time. What a hassle.
>
> Today the 6 y.o. and I were at Ikea, where he was enchanted by a model
> dining room; he sat down at a place setting, discussed the
> arrangements, spent ten minutes organizing and rearranging the plates,
> chargers, candles etc. He's neurologically atypical and can be quirky
> about things - he likes lining items up in rows. He just loved that
> table setting, was delighted by the whole room. A light bulb went off
> in my head. why not put out placemats and set the table decently at
> home?
>
> For dinner tonight I asked the two boys if they wanted to eat in the
> dining room: YES! Want to help set the table? YES!!!! Oh boy. They got
> to choose placemats and plate color, and the four year old found napkin
> rings and insisted we use them (he'd never seen them used in this
> house, don't know where he got the idea). THey brought serving dishes
> in, and carefully laid a slice of cuke and tomato on mom and dad's
> plates - saving some for us, you know, as they polished off the rest of
> 'em themselves. They were models of civilized behavior. Furthermore -
> who would have thought that the 4 y.o., who is obsessed with guns,
> police, wearing construction worker costumes, nose picking and fart
> jokes, would turn into such a table-service diva? He pulled out five
> tea candles - one for each of us and one for the center. He directed
> the placement of napkin rings. He unfolded the napkin and placed it
> carefully on his lap. ???
>
> Somehow these children have gotten a taste for civilized dining. God
> knows they haven't seen much of it in our house lately, but they eat
> with grandma once a week, and she sets a nice table (but mostly in her
> tiny kitchen, not all this folderol of candles and such).
>
> I have resolved to eat dinner in the dining room every night. It causes
> such good behavior (and we like looking out the window at the sunset
> reflected on our roses)
>
> Furthermore, the civilized atmosphere makes the food taste better. Ob
> Food: Tonight was pot roast in the pressure cooker, a simple recipe
> with red wine, diced tomatoes, onion and garlic. I should have put in
> celery and carrot but I just forgot...ANyway, you can bet that the
> father of the household was happy to come home to well-behaved
> children, a lovely dining room (most of the kid clutter had been swept
> elsewhere) and a nice pot roast (and me, smiling serenely in the
> candlelight). Here's to the finer domestic niceties.
>
> Leila

Ikea gets everyone excited; even more than Martha Stewart.
And you are very finely tuned in with your boys -- what a nice posting.
Thank you.
Dee Dee

In article . com>,
says...
> You may know that I'm the mother of two large small boys, 6 1/2 and
> almost 5; they are high-spirited, hilarious, sloppy, and not good at
> fine motor tasks. Meals at my house are therefore messy and chaotic. We
> eat in the kitchen, which is small and cluttered. The kids are always
> rambunctious at suppertime and I get frazzled. They behave reasonably
> well at table in restaurants and grandparents' homes, however, so they
> aren't completely savage. But the younger one has been refusing to come
> to the table (???) and was beginning to test me in other ways at supper
> time. What a hassle.
>
> Today the 6 y.o. and I were at Ikea, where he was enchanted by a model
> dining room; he sat down at a place setting, discussed the
> arrangements, spent ten minutes organizing and rearranging the plates,
> chargers, candles etc. He's neurologically atypical and can be quirky
> about things - he likes lining items up in rows. He just loved that
> table setting, was delighted by the whole room. A light bulb went off
> in my head. why not put out placemats and set the table decently at
> home?
>
> For dinner tonight I asked the two boys if they wanted to eat in the
> dining room: YES! Want to help set the table? YES!!!! Oh boy. They got
> to choose placemats and plate color, and the four year old found napkin
> rings and insisted we use them (he'd never seen them used in this
> house, don't know where he got the idea). THey brought serving dishes
> in, and carefully laid a slice of cuke and tomato on mom and dad's
> plates - saving some for us, you know, as they polished off the rest of
> 'em themselves. They were models of civilized behavior. Furthermore -
> who would have thought that the 4 y.o., who is obsessed with guns,
> police, wearing construction worker costumes, nose picking and fart
> jokes, would turn into such a table-service diva? He pulled out five
> tea candles - one for each of us and one for the center. He directed
> the placement of napkin rings. He unfolded the napkin and placed it
> carefully on his lap. ???
>
> Somehow these children have gotten a taste for civilized dining. God
> knows they haven't seen much of it in our house lately, but they eat
> with grandma once a week, and she sets a nice table (but mostly in her
> tiny kitchen, not all this folderol of candles and such).
>
> I have resolved to eat dinner in the dining room every night. It causes
> such good behavior (and we like looking out the window at the sunset
> reflected on our roses)
>
> Furthermore, the civilized atmosphere makes the food taste better. Ob
> Food: Tonight was pot roast in the pressure cooker, a simple recipe
> with red wine, diced tomatoes, onion and garlic. I should have put in
> celery and carrot but I just forgot...ANyway, you can bet that the
> father of the household was happy to come home to well-behaved
> children, a lovely dining room (most of the kid clutter had been swept
> elsewhere) and a nice pot roast (and me, smiling serenely in the
> candlelight). Here's to the finer domestic niceties.
>
> Leila
>
>


So OCD is good for something. Who knew.

On 26 May 2006 23:06:50 -0700, "Leila" >
wrote:

>Furthermore, the civilized atmosphere makes the food taste better. Ob
>Food: Tonight was pot roast in the pressure cooker, a simple recipe
>with red wine, diced tomatoes, onion and garlic. I should have put in
>celery and carrot but I just forgot...ANyway, you can bet that the
>father of the household was happy to come home to well-behaved
>children, a lovely dining room (most of the kid clutter had been swept
>elsewhere) and a nice pot roast (and me, smiling serenely in the
>candlelight). Here's to the finer domestic niceties.
>
>Leila

Amen, sister. It's the difference between the raw and the cooked, as
ole Levi-Strauss would say. Thanks for the good story.
--
modom

Leila wrote:
> You may know that I'm the mother of two large small boys, 6 1/2 and
> almost 5; they are high-spirited, hilarious, sloppy, and not good at
> fine motor tasks. Meals at my house are therefore messy and chaotic.
> We eat in the kitchen, which is small and cluttered. The kids are
> always rambunctious at suppertime and I get frazzled. They behave
> reasonably well at table in restaurants and grandparents' homes,
> however, so they aren't completely savage. But the younger one has
> been refusing to come to the table (???) and was beginning to test me
> in other ways at supper time. What a hassle.
>
> Today the 6 y.o. and I were at Ikea, where he was enchanted by a model
> dining room; he sat down at a place setting, discussed the
> arrangements, spent ten minutes organizing and rearranging the plates,
> chargers, candles etc. He's neurologically atypical and can be quirky
> about things - he likes lining items up in rows. He just loved that
> table setting, was delighted by the whole room. A light bulb went off
> in my head. why not put out placemats and set the table decently at
> home?
>
> For dinner tonight I asked the two boys if they wanted to eat in the
> dining room: YES! Want to help set the table? YES!!!! Oh boy. They got
> to choose placemats and plate color, and the four year old found
> napkin rings and insisted we use them (he'd never seen them used in
> this house, don't know where he got the idea). THey brought serving
> dishes in, and carefully laid a slice of cuke and tomato on mom and
> dad's plates - saving some for us, you know, as they polished off the
> rest of 'em themselves. They were models of civilized behavior.
> Furthermore - who would have thought that the 4 y.o., who is obsessed
> with guns, police, wearing construction worker costumes, nose picking
> and fart jokes, would turn into such a table-service diva? He pulled
> out five tea candles - one for each of us and one for the center. He
> directed the placement of napkin rings. He unfolded the napkin and
> placed it carefully on his lap. ???
>
> Somehow these children have gotten a taste for civilized dining. God
> knows they haven't seen much of it in our house lately, but they eat
> with grandma once a week, and she sets a nice table (but mostly in her
> tiny kitchen, not all this folderol of candles and such).
>
> I have resolved to eat dinner in the dining room every night. It
> causes such good behavior (and we like looking out the window at the
> sunset reflected on our roses)
>
> Furthermore, the civilized atmosphere makes the food taste better. Ob
> Food: Tonight was pot roast in the pressure cooker, a simple recipe
> with red wine, diced tomatoes, onion and garlic. I should have put in
> celery and carrot but I just forgot...ANyway, you can bet that the
> father of the household was happy to come home to well-behaved
> children, a lovely dining room (most of the kid clutter had been swept
> elsewhere) and a nice pot roast (and me, smiling serenely in the
> candlelight). Here's to the finer domestic niceties.
>
> Leila

That is so cool, Leila! I don't think when I was 4 years old my parents
even *owned* napkin rings, let alone used them Hope it keeps up! With
lots of positive encouragement for the creativity of the youngun's, I have a
feeling it will.

Jill

On 2006-05-27, Leila > wrote:

[snip]

> candlelight). Here's to the finer domestic niceties.


Have they shown any interest in joining the Navy or the YMCA?


No, jes kidding. Really, I think it's great. Maybe they saw it on tv
and it struck a chord. Whatever the cause, nurture and encourage it.
Better yet, reinforce it by taking them out to a classy restaurant.
Well behaved kids in a restaurant are a joy.

nb

napkin rings - we actually only own two, birch ones I got from
Crate & Barrel long ago; the 4 year old likes them -they're smooth and
handsome and resemble his wood blocks, but different shape. GUess I
should find a couple of more so everybody can have one.

L.

Navy or YMCA - I typed several answers to that but canceled them
all. I'm leaving that one alone!

fine restaurant - we'll go to Chez Panisse cafe upstairs first.
It's much more casual. And we'll go at lunchtime. But not this year...

how they got the interest in table setting - must have been from
all those dinners at my mom's house -she takes them one day a week
after school, feeds them and brings them home after dinner. Frequently
my parents will have other guests as well and then they're all in the
formal dining room, so the kids get plenty of practice at proper meal
protocols. They've clearly been paying attention to the details at her
house. I've just been slapping plates on the kitchen table with little
ceremony.

This is why it really takes a village to raise a child - my life has
been too hectic and stressed out for such things, but the grandparents
stepped in. It didn't occur to me to say - hey, since I'm going to be
in treatment for cancer for a year and then go to grad school, my table
service will be haphazard to non-existent, so would you please make
sure the children learn some decorum?

But it worked out that way anyway. Thank God.

Leila

On 27 May 2006 11:16:59 -0700, "Leila" >
wrote:

> napkin rings - we actually only own two, birch ones I got from
>Crate & Barrel long ago; the 4 year old likes them -they're smooth and
>handsome and resemble his wood blocks, but different shape. GUess I
>should find a couple of more so everybody can have one.
>
>L.

I always loved my parents wooden napkin rings and the paraphenalia
that goes along with a formal table setting... probably because it was
such a novelty to use it - we were lucky if we got vinyl placemats
most of the time :P

Leila wrote:
> napkin rings - we actually only own two, birch ones I got from
> Crate & Barrel long ago; the 4 year old likes them -they're smooth and
> handsome and resemble his wood blocks, but different shape. GUess I
> should find a couple of more so everybody can have one.
>
> L.

You're just coveting my grandmother's china! It doesn't come with napkin
rings, sorry! LOL

Jill

I don't believe in suffering over unrequited love, Jill, so I am
turning my crockery interests elsewhere. Napkin rings, my OWN china
pattern, table setting for four year olds...

But you know those birds belong to me...

Love,
Leila

Leila wrote:

"This is why it really takes a village to raise a child - my life has
been too hectic and stressed out for such things, but the grandparents
stepped in. It didn't occur to me to say - hey, since I'm going to be
in treatment for cancer for a year and then go to grad school, my table

service will be haphazard to non-existent, so would you please make
sure the children learn some decorum?
But it worked out that way anyway. Thank God. "
------------------------
What a sweet story! Good health and long life to you, Leila. Those
little boys will bring you so much happiness.
Nancree



Leila

Leila wrote:
> I don't believe in suffering over unrequited love, Jill, so I am
> turning my crockery interests elsewhere. Napkin rings, my OWN china
> pattern, table setting for four year olds...
>
Table setting *by* four year olds

> But you know those birds belong to me...
>
> Love,
> Leila

Send me your full name and address and I'll leave it to you in my Will...
you'll get it in about 30 years, if not sooner

Hugs,
Jill

"notbob" > wrote in message
...
> On 2006-05-27, Leila > wrote:
>
> [snip]
>
>> candlelight). Here's to the finer domestic niceties.
>
>
> Have they shown any interest in joining the Navy or the YMCA?
>
>
> No, jes kidding. Really, I think it's great. Maybe they saw it on tv
> and it struck a chord. Whatever the cause, nurture and encourage it.
> Better yet, reinforce it by taking them out to a classy restaurant.
> Well behaved kids in a restaurant are a joy.

Especially when people compliment you on how well-behaved they are! After
all the stuff I've read here about parents letting their kids run amok in
public, I've been making a habit of noticing well-behaved children and
complimenting their parents and the kids.

God knows complaining to the parents of the rowdies doesn't change anything
and only frustrates me...so why not spread a little happiness instead?

Lisa Ann

In article .com>,
"Leila" > wrote:

> Navy or YMCA - I typed several answers to that but canceled them
> all. I'm leaving that one alone!
>
> fine restaurant - we'll go to Chez Panisse cafe upstairs first.
> It's much more casual. And we'll go at lunchtime. But not this year...
>
> how they got the interest in table setting - must have been from
> all those dinners at my mom's house -she takes them one day a week
> after school, feeds them and brings them home after dinner. Frequently
> my parents will have other guests as well and then they're all in the
> formal dining room, so the kids get plenty of practice at proper meal
> protocols. They've clearly been paying attention to the details at her
> house. I've just been slapping plates on the kitchen table with little
> ceremony.
>
> This is why it really takes a village to raise a child - my life has
> been too hectic and stressed out for such things, but the grandparents
> stepped in. It didn't occur to me to say - hey, since I'm going to be
> in treatment for cancer for a year and then go to grad school, my table
> service will be haphazard to non-existent, so would you please make
> sure the children learn some decorum?
>
> But it worked out that way anyway. Thank God.
>
> Leila

I'm finding it incumbent on the grands to impart some of the niceties
that have, for whatever reason, gotten lost or lowered in importance in
the grand scheme of parenting. It's fun when the twerps are interested.
Chemo & radiation both? And then grad school. You nuts? "Go big or
stay home." Guess you're not inclined to stay home, huh, Leila. God
bless you, Woman! I salute you.

--
-Barb
<http://jamlady.eboard.com> Updated 5/22/2006, Church Review completed
"If it's not worth doing to excess, it's not worth doing at all."