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In article >,
wrote:
>
>
> Wisteria Land
>
> Sandra invites you in for a delightful gathering
> of flavors! First up, perfect Prosciutto, Fig and
> Goat Cheese Quesadillas, plus Napa Valley Wine
> Planked Salmon and a Bacon and Scallion Potato
> Salad. Finally, simply superb Shortcake with
> Mascarpone and Brandied Apricots rounds out the
> meal. For a taste of summer–any time of year--serve
> Sandra’s Blueberry Sangria Lemonade. Cheers!
>
>Insert "Desperate Housewives" joke here.

The backstory will be about some bullshit summer vacation she and Gramma
Dicey took before she kicked the bucket -- and I'm sure she'll make up some
story about being down South and seeing all the wisteria growing in the
gardens in some plantation house. (Meanwhile, we all know she's pining for
the wisteria she had at the Wallet's house, but she'll make up some crap to
cover for that.) Or, an alternate story will be that she's "cooking" for
Kimmie's neighborhood girlfriends (ala Desperate Housewives) for a party
they're having that evening. Of course, we won't see them, because a) Kim
lives in Washington state and this new set is in Connecticut, or 2) Kimber
has no friends, just like big sis.

I'm sure when they reference the "delightful gathering of flavors" they
really are referring to the many different flavors of alcohol you'll taste
once the "food" careens back up your esophagus and into the toilet.

I'm guessing the only reason she's doing quesadillas is because she's keeping
up the farce of cooking for Kimber's kids, since they'll eat anything as long
as it's in a quesadilla. The wine-planked salmon is a tad scary -- it must be
some sort of Sutter Home plug since they're an FN advertiser. Ten bucks says
she buys the already-cooked bacon and chops some scallions and adds those to
store-bought potato salad. Klassy. The shortcake will be Bisquick (oops, I
mean >BiscuitMixInABoxOrCan<), and I bet she sucks the brandy off those
apricots faster than... well, you get the picture.

As for the title/theme, I'm sure it'll play out with some crapped-up craft
store god-awful silk wisteria twisted around tacky goblets in which she'll
serve the Blueberry Sangria Lemonade.

Let's hope C'leen makes it into this one! We want C'leen!!!

p.s. I LOVE YOU DANIELLE!!!!!!!

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