lying to guests at parties
 

so, has anyone ever . . .

.. . . ordered a big tray of delicious sushi from their local house and
passively lied to their party guests about where it came from?

I'm having a party, and planning on making a a few maki and some spam
rolls and onigiri, but ordering the good stuff. Thought i'd let the
guests draw the obvious conclusion: i'm actually a itamae on the
weekends.

..max
try the carp.

--
the part of >
was played by maxwell monningh 8-p

In article >,
Max > wrote:

> so, has anyone ever . . .
>
> . . . ordered a big tray of delicious sushi from their local house and
> passively lied to their party guests about where it came from?

I tried to.

We had a 10th anniversary part a couple of months ago. Got food from
an excellent local Indian place and I tried real hard to lie about
Nancy having cooked it. She interrupted before I was even to the good
part of the lie where she meets Vishnu in a field, and proceeded to
name the restaurant instead.

I think the give-away would have been the plates and arrangment
anyway...

--
"A Dictionary of Japanese Food, Ingredients & Culture" by Richard Hosking
(Tuttle, '97). All the hints one might need for exploring Japanese food.

"The Sake Handbook" by John Gaunter (Tuttle, '02). An excellent intro and
reference to sake.

After takin a swig o' Arrakan spice grog, Gerry > belched out:
> In article >,
> Max > wrote:
>
>> so, has anyone ever . . .
>>
>> . . . ordered a big tray of delicious sushi from their local house
>> and passively lied to their party guests about where it came from?
>
> I tried to.
>
> We had a 10th anniversary part a couple of months ago. Got food
> from an excellent local Indian place and I tried real hard to lie
> about Nancy having cooked it. She interrupted before I was even to
> the good part of the lie where she meets Vishnu in a field, and
> proceeded to name the restaurant instead.
>
> I think the give-away would have been the plates and arrangment
> anyway...

Wouldn't the label on the bag, and the menu stapled on, have been
something of a giveaway? ;-)
--
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Rules of the Evil Overlord #72. "If all the heroes are standing
together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull
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Anonymous wrote:

>>so, has anyone ever . . .
>>
>>. . . ordered a big tray of delicious sushi from their local house
>>and passively lied to their party guests about where it came from?
>>
>
> I serve TV dinners on plates instead of leaving the portions in the
> little trays. Guests are amazed that I am able to prepare such a wide
> array of entrees (salisbury steak, roast turkey breast, boneless pork,
> fried chicken, ...) AND desserts (brownies, apple cobbler, ...) in my
> little kitchen but I assure them that their dining pleasure is the
> utmost to me.

Ah! Fine cuisine! I think I've eaten one TV dinner in my life.

--
Dan

Anonymous wrote:

>>so, has anyone ever . . .
>>
>>. . . ordered a big tray of delicious sushi from their local house
>>and passively lied to their party guests about where it came from?
>>
>
> I serve TV dinners on plates instead of leaving the portions in the
> little trays. Guests are amazed that I am able to prepare such a wide
> array of entrees (salisbury steak, roast turkey breast, boneless pork,
> fried chicken, ...) AND desserts (brownies, apple cobbler, ...) in my
> little kitchen but I assure them that their dining pleasure is the
> utmost to me.

Ah! Fine cuisine! I think I've eaten one TV dinner in my life.

--
Dan

In article >, Dan Logcher
> wrote:

> > I serve TV dinners on plates instead of leaving the portions in the
> > little trays. Guests are amazed that I am able to prepare such a wide
> > array of entrees (salisbury steak, roast turkey breast, boneless pork,
> > fried chicken, ...) AND desserts (brownies, apple cobbler, ...) in my
> > little kitchen but I assure them that their dining pleasure is the
> > utmost to me.
>
> Ah! Fine cuisine! I think I've eaten one TV dinner in my life.

As long as you don't startle the cook in her lair you'll believe that
for many more years to come...

--
"A Dictionary of Japanese Food, Ingredients & Culture" by Richard Hosking
(Tuttle, '97). All the hints one might need for exploring Japanese food.

"The Sake Handbook" by John Gaunter (Tuttle, '02). An excellent intro and
reference to sake.

Gerry wrote:

> In article >, Dan Logcher
> > wrote:
>
>
>>>I serve TV dinners on plates instead of leaving the portions in the
>>>little trays. Guests are amazed that I am able to prepare such a wide
>>>array of entrees (salisbury steak, roast turkey breast, boneless pork,
>>>fried chicken, ...) AND desserts (brownies, apple cobbler, ...) in my
>>>little kitchen but I assure them that their dining pleasure is the
>>>utmost to me.
>>>
>>Ah! Fine cuisine! I think I've eaten one TV dinner in my life.
>>
>
> As long as you don't startle the cook in her lair you'll believe that
> for many more years to come...

Except that I'm the cook.. I don't trust her to cook a good meal :)

--
Dan

"Dan Logcher" > wrote in message
...
> Gerry wrote:
>
> > In article >, Dan Logcher
> > > wrote:
> >
> >
> >>>I serve TV dinners on plates instead of leaving the portions in the
> >>>little trays. Guests are amazed that I am able to prepare such a wide
> >>>array of entrees (salisbury steak, roast turkey breast, boneless pork,
> >>>fried chicken, ...) AND desserts (brownies, apple cobbler, ...) in my
> >>>little kitchen but I assure them that their dining pleasure is the
> >>>utmost to me.
> >>>
> >>Ah! Fine cuisine! I think I've eaten one TV dinner in my life.
> >>
> >
> > As long as you don't startle the cook in her lair you'll believe that
> > for many more years to come...
>
> Except that I'm the cook.. I don't trust her to cook a good meal :)

Dan, I'm w/ you, cooking is WAY too important for women.

"Dan Logcher" > wrote in message
...
> Gerry wrote:
>
> > In article >, Dan Logcher
> > > wrote:
> >
> >
> >>>I serve TV dinners on plates instead of leaving the portions in the
> >>>little trays. Guests are amazed that I am able to prepare such a wide
> >>>array of entrees (salisbury steak, roast turkey breast, boneless pork,
> >>>fried chicken, ...) AND desserts (brownies, apple cobbler, ...) in my
> >>>little kitchen but I assure them that their dining pleasure is the
> >>>utmost to me.
> >>>
> >>Ah! Fine cuisine! I think I've eaten one TV dinner in my life.
> >>
> >
> > As long as you don't startle the cook in her lair you'll believe that
> > for many more years to come...
>
> Except that I'm the cook.. I don't trust her to cook a good meal :)

Dan, I'm w/ you, cooking is WAY too important for women.

Michael wrote:
> "Dan Logcher" > wrote in message
> ...
>
>>Gerry wrote:
>>
>>
>>>In article >, Dan Logcher
> wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>>>I serve TV dinners on plates instead of leaving the portions in the
>>>>>little trays. Guests are amazed that I am able to prepare such a wide
>>>>>array of entrees (salisbury steak, roast turkey breast, boneless pork,
>>>>>fried chicken, ...) AND desserts (brownies, apple cobbler, ...) in my
>>>>>little kitchen but I assure them that their dining pleasure is the
>>>>>utmost to me.
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>>Ah! Fine cuisine! I think I've eaten one TV dinner in my life.
>>>>
>>>
>>>As long as you don't startle the cook in her lair you'll believe that
>>>for many more years to come...
>>
>>Except that I'm the cook.. I don't trust her to cook a good meal :)
>
>
> Dan, I'm w/ you, cooking is WAY too important for women.

Well, I'm not against women chefs.. just my wife's cooking :)

I've enjoyed cooking for so many years and she's let me do it, and lost
any of her skills she may have learned.

--
Dan

"Dan Logcher" > wrote in message
...
> >>Except that I'm the cook.. I don't trust her to cook a good meal :)
> >
> >
> > Dan, I'm w/ you, cooking is WAY too important for women.
>
> Well, I'm not against women chefs.. just my wife's cooking :)
>
> I've enjoyed cooking for so many years and she's let me do it, and lost
> any of her skills she may have learned.

To be totally PC incorrect, women (not all but most) look at cooking as
something to be done as quickly and painlessly as possible (look at all the
boxed or already prepared crap in the stores) therefore producing junk only
teenagers will accept. I've been married for twenty three years and my wife
hasn't a clue about how to cook more than about five dishes. She does these
VERY well but branching out is not on the menu.

She was raised on the farm where we now live but won't eat the fresh eggs,
free range chicken meat or farm raised pork I raise because she knows the
animals. Go figure.

Michael wrote:

> "Dan Logcher" > wrote in message
> ...
>
>>>>Except that I'm the cook.. I don't trust her to cook a good meal :)
>>>>
>>>
>>>Dan, I'm w/ you, cooking is WAY too important for women.
>>>
>>Well, I'm not against women chefs.. just my wife's cooking :)
>>
>>I've enjoyed cooking for so many years and she's let me do it, and lost
>>any of her skills she may have learned.
>>
>
> To be totally PC incorrect, women (not all but most) look at cooking as
> something to be done as quickly and painlessly as possible (look at all the
> boxed or already prepared crap in the stores) therefore producing junk only
> teenagers will accept. I've been married for twenty three years and my wife
> hasn't a clue about how to cook more than about five dishes. She does these
> VERY well but branching out is not on the menu.


My wife likes new recipes, and often clips or suggest things for me to cook.
I've more or less retarded her cooking ability by taking over all the cooking.
She still does all the baking and desserts though.


> She was raised on the farm where we now live but won't eat the fresh eggs,
> free range chicken meat or farm raised pork I raise because she knows the
> animals. Go figure.

Oh man, I love fresh eggs. Why won't she eat those? I mean, it's not like
you name the eggs. I would have no problem with eating them, but I can see
where a more sentimental person would.

My wife has a hard time with fishing, since she feels bad knowing the fish
gets a hook in it's mouth.

--
Dan

In article
>,
"Michael" > wrote:

> free range chicken meat or farm raised pork I raise because she knows the
> animals.

please send me 5 chikkens and one little piggie.

..max

--
the part of >
was played by maxwell monningh 8-p

"Michael" > wrote in message
...
>
>
> To be totally PC incorrect,

RING! RING! Use of the term "PC" - facile argument alert.

> women (not all but most) look at cooking as
> something to be done as quickly and painlessly as possible

Based on what sample do you make this statement?

> (look at all the
> boxed or already prepared crap in the stores) therefore producing junk
only
> teenagers will accept.

Oh, I see. There's a lot of junk on the shelves, therefore most woman want
to get over cooking as quickly as possible.
I'm convinced. (NOTE: Sarcasm alert.)

> I've been married for twenty three years and my wife
> hasn't a clue about how to cook more than about five dishes. She does
these
> VERY well but branching out is not on the menu.
>

Ah, a sample of one.
Years ago, someone coined a word for this type of logic. Proof by anecdote.
For one case, statement is true therefore statement is true for all cases.

> She was raised on the farm where we now live but won't eat the fresh eggs,
> free range chicken meat or farm raised pork I raise because she knows the
> animals. Go figure.
>
>

Sounds logical to me. I wouldn't want to eat George if he were alive
yesterday and I knew him well.

On Fri, 01 Oct 2004 13:09:20 GMT, Michael
> wrote:

> To be totally PC incorrect, women (not all but most) look at cooking as
> something to be done as quickly and painlessly as possible (look at all the
> boxed or already prepared crap in the stores) therefore producing junk only
> teenagers will accept. I've been married for twenty three years and my wife
> hasn't a clue about how to cook more than about five dishes. She does these
> VERY well but branching out is not on the menu.

I've met a lot of people who have that attitude about food, but
I couldn't really say that it was most common to women only. I think it's
an attitude equally present in both sexes, and I'm not being PC to say
so, I think it's just common sense.

My mother probably does see cooking as a chore, but I don't.
My husband and I love food, and we try our best to have good meals on
an everyday basis. Very little of what we buy is the prepackaged
convenience foods and I haven't eaten or prepared a TV dinner since I
was a kid. I do most of the cooking at home, with his collaboration
on complicated or special meals, and we branch out quite often. I
also have the privilege to know many talented, inventive women cooks.
One of my aunts prepares almost single-handedly a spread for Chinese
New Year that boggles the mind. Another is a whiz at Vietnamese
cooking. Yet another prepares delicious Chinese, SE Asian, Indian,
AND Japanese food, influenced by all the places she's lived. Perhaps
I have such good role models around me that it would never occur to me
to make a statement like yours.

> She was raised on the farm where we now live but won't eat the fresh eggs,
> free range chicken meat or farm raised pork I raise because she knows the
> animals. Go figure.

What a shame. I'd love access to fresh eggs and
farm-raised chicken and pork. Not all women would be squeamish about
doing the same. Perhaps you need to cultivate some new
acquaintances. ;)

Ariane

"Ariane Jenkins" > wrote in message
...
> On Fri, 01 Oct 2004 13:09:20 GMT, Michael
> > wrote:
>
> > To be totally PC incorrect, women (not all but most) look at cooking as
> > something to be done as quickly and painlessly as possible (look at all
the
> > boxed or already prepared crap in the stores) therefore producing junk
only
> > teenagers will accept. I've been married for twenty three years and my
wife
> > hasn't a clue about how to cook more than about five dishes. She does
these
> > VERY well but branching out is not on the menu.
>
> I've met a lot of people who have that attitude about food, but
> I couldn't really say that it was most common to women only. I think it's
> an attitude equally present in both sexes, and I'm not being PC to say
> so, I think it's just common sense.
>
> My mother probably does see cooking as a chore, but I don't.
> My husband and I love food, and we try our best to have good meals on
> an everyday basis. Very little of what we buy is the prepackaged
> convenience foods and I haven't eaten or prepared a TV dinner since I
> was a kid. I do most of the cooking at home, with his collaboration
> on complicated or special meals, and we branch out quite often. I
> also have the privilege to know many talented, inventive women cooks.
> One of my aunts prepares almost single-handedly a spread for Chinese
> New Year that boggles the mind. Another is a whiz at Vietnamese
> cooking. Yet another prepares delicious Chinese, SE Asian, Indian,
> AND Japanese food, influenced by all the places she's lived. Perhaps
> I have such good role models around me that it would never occur to me
> to make a statement like yours.
>

What a very nice way to put it. Thanks.
By the way, my two favorite professional cooks at the moment, who I'm sure
do NOT see cooking as a chore, are Marlo Hix, executive chef at Tante Louise
in Denver and Candace Winter chef and co-owner with her husband of Bijou in
Lebanon, IN.


....
>
> Ariane

Hmm. I think you may be married to the wrong women!
I was taught to cook as a child, and had more than 5 dishes by the time I
was 8. My mom is a great cook, and so was my grandmother. I'm always adding
new dishes to my repertoire. However, for most women, cooking is work. It's
what they do after they come home from their paid job, and they are usually
expected to do it alone- the cleanup, too. Often, they are also expected to
buy the food, and do most of the other inside house work alone. My mother
and I both saw cooking as a form of entertainment- for me it's a kind of
meditation. It also happens that I love good food and the only way I can
presently afford a good meal is to make it.

Last week I was whining to the boyfriend about how poor I feel. I was
forced- forced, I tell you- to have only some lowly pasta for dinner. He
started laughing as I described using garlic and truffle butter on it, and
feeling sad because I had used up all the pine nuts in the ravioli I had
made two weeks before, so I had none to toast and use as a garnish.
I have a feeling if most men had to mow the lawn every day after coming home
for work they would soon develop some lazy way to cut it. If cars needed to
be washed every day by hand, most men would find a quick and sloppy way to
do so. If most men had to iron their clothes and the clothes of everyone in
the household every night, they would find a quick and dirty way to do it.
Elaborate cooking that yields a good meal requires thought and time. most
women either don't have the time, or don't think they do, and they often
lack appreciative audiences. My mother and I sometimes turned out meals on
the weekends that would have made Julia Child cry with happiness, but to my
father, who was tone deaf in regards to food, they were all one and the
same. He put hot sauce on everything. my husband, who actually liked good
food, discouraged me from taking the time to make good meals while I was a
grad student- he said they 'took too long' and took away from us doing other
things. my current boyfriend, on the other hand, gave me his recipe for Char
Siu (Chinese-style roast pork) and is looking forward to my tarte tatin,
which will follow my favorite dish- roast lemon chicken with lavender buds,
vegetables in season and garlicked potatoes. But that's when I'm doing plain
cooking- he hasn't tasted my crab Imperial yet, or any of my other fancy
recipes.
The good news is that my husband gradually grew to joyously accept that I
was occasionally going to make bread from scratch and soups that would cook
for an netire day, no matter what he said. He even grew to accept that
having a party meant that I would be making canapes from scratch, and that
holiday presents often consisted of handmade truffles or home made fruit
cake that I would start in October. The bad news is that he died of a heart
attack- and no, it wasn't the food that killed him. But one of the reasons I
was able to cook so well was that I had time for it- he did the food
shopping and often cut and cleaned the raw ingredients.

"Michael" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Dan Logcher" > wrote in message
> ...
> > >>Except that I'm the cook.. I don't trust her to cook a good meal :)
> > >
> > >
> > > Dan, I'm w/ you, cooking is WAY too important for women.
> >
> > Well, I'm not against women chefs.. just my wife's cooking :)
> >
> > I've enjoyed cooking for so many years and she's let me do it, and lost
> > any of her skills she may have learned.
>
> To be totally PC incorrect, women (not all but most) look at cooking as
> something to be done as quickly and painlessly as possible (look at all
the
> boxed or already prepared crap in the stores) therefore producing junk
only
> teenagers will accept. I've been married for twenty three years and my
wife
> hasn't a clue about how to cook more than about five dishes. She does
these
> VERY well but branching out is not on the menu.
>
> She was raised on the farm where we now live but won't eat the fresh eggs,
> free range chicken meat or farm raised pork I raise because she knows the
> animals. Go figure.
>
>