Lloyd sipped at his dainty little china cup of tea. His flower-ordained
umbrella protected his pale flesh from the harsh rays of sunlight that
managed to penetrate the thick London fog. The tea soothed his gums as it
passed through the gaping holes of missing teeth. Each sip added another
layer of yellowing to his few remaining teeth, which grew at all angles.
The thick crop of hairs growing from his ears, nose and eyebrows quivered
with delight.

What does this have to do with Microsoft? Well, the British have the
monopoly on tea. They will complain that Americans wouldn't know a good
cup of tea if it bit them in the... what... "arse"? Yes, tea is the
trademark of the almighty Great Britain, just as Windows is the trademark
of the almighty Great Microsoft.

But, just as everything that is Windows was stolen from any number of
other truly innovative companies, everything that is Britain was stolen
from any number of other truly innovative (and genuinely cultured)
countries.

Tea for example, was stolen from India during the height of British
colonialism. And let's not forget the Opium Wars, where the British Empire
simply took over the opium trade in the far East. The first drug lords.

The similarities go from the subtle and insidious to the obvious and
absurd. Just look at Bill Gates - his pasty white flesh, that inbred look,
that smug attitude. If I actually thought it possible for an Englishman to
come to the United States and actually be successful in a free market
(even if it was through less than moral means), I would suspect the
national origins of Mr. Gates. As it is, I just have to accept that he is
merely an aberration of our normally highest-quality gene pool.

Where am I going with this? Actually, I forgot. But I will say this: Mr.
Gates, you'd better not forget what happened to Britain when they bombed
Pearl Harbor.