FoodBanter.com - Article: Real men drink tea

I went looking for the original post in google, but it doesn't seem to be
there, so I dredged this up out of my News directory:

--cut here--
> From: (Morrisa Sherman)
> Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
> Subject: Tea
> Date: 1 Dec 1995 10:30:05 -0800
> Organization: Best Internet Communications
> Lines: 60
> Message-ID: >
>
> Charlotte: Oh, delightful!
>
> Reynard: What is it?
>
> Charlotte: My mother has sent us a selection of teas from
> far-off Ceylon! And just in time for the holidays!
>
> Reynard: There's no such place as Ceylon.
>
> Charlotte: That sort of triviality never bothers my mother. I'm
> going to try some right away, with biscuits and
> strawberries. Which kind shall I brew?
>
> Reynard: It's up to you. I decline.
>
> Charlotte: You decline tea from Ceylon? But why?
>
> Reynard: Tea is for sissies.
>
> Charlotte: Well, yes, my sisters all adore tea, but I'm sure
> Mother sent them their own assortments. She is
> most egalitarian, don't you know. We needn't save
> it for them.
>
> Reynard: Not sisters, sissies! Fancypants! Dandies! WIMPS!
>
> Charlotte: There's no need for invective.
>
> Reynard: Oh, no no no, I did not mean you!
>
> Charlotte: But I like tea. I am unabashedly fond of tea. Am I
> not a sissy, a fancypants, a, a WIMP?
>
> Reynard: No, no, you're a woman!
>
> Charlotte: I fail to see the correlative.
>
> Reynard: It's okay for a woman to drink womanly things, that's
> feminine and endearing. But if a man drinks womanly
> things, he's a sissy. Men should drink macho, manly
> things like coffee! Good, roasted, black coffee,
> black as the torments of a mans soul which he bears
> stoically, black as the grim triumph of war!
>
> Charlotte: Ah. And so which of your manly friends tells you this?
>
> Reynard: Douglas! Now HE is a real man! He skydives and has
> a four wheel drive and everything, and he drinks COFFEE!
>
> Charlotte: Doesn't Douglas' lover Craig own the coffee shop down
> the street? Of course Douglas wants you to drink coffee!
> It would be good for business!
>
> Reynard: Oh, I, um, that is, well...
>
> Charlotte: Have a strawberry. So what do you think, Green, Oolong,
> Black?
>
> Reynard: Um, did she send any of that lovely Fragrant Jasmine
> Petal by any chance?
>
--
"C'est un Nagra. C'est suisse, et tres, tres precis."