Opinions please:

I love entertaining. I love cooking for friends and it's fair to say that I'm know in my circle for being a good cook. Also, I am really into wine and everyone also knows that I take wine pretty seriously - making sure that what I serve is a decent bottle.

One couple, my best friend and his gf regularly bring the cheapest, nastiest mini-market plonk to dinner parties or get togethers. It's now becoming a joke - I spend time and a lot of effort cooking for them, sourcing good quality produce and they bless my home with cheap rubbish that I wouldn't even feed my dog.

What should I do? It's got the point that when they bring their own stuff round they EXPECT to drink it even if I've got a nice bottle already opened!!

It find it so insulting but don't know what to do.

HELP!

jkcninja wrote:
> Opinions please:
>
> I love entertaining. I love cooking for friends and it's fair to say
> that I'm know in my circle for being a good cook. Also, I am really
> into wine and everyone also knows that I take wine pretty seriously -
> making sure that what I serve is a decent bottle.
>
> One couple, my best friend and his gf regularly bring the cheapest,
> nastiest mini-market plonk to dinner parties or get togethers. It's now
> becoming a joke - I spend time and a lot of effort cooking for them,
> sourcing good quality produce and they bless my home with cheap rubbish
> that I wouldn't even feed my dog.
>
> What should I do? It's got the point that when they bring their own
> stuff round they EXPECT to drink it even if I've got a nice bottle
> already opened!!
>
> It find it so insulting but don't know what to do.

I'd bet that they don't realize that you feel insulted by their actions
and instead, as you say, view it as a humorous difference in tastes, as
indeed it is. You have two basic options: one is to take them aside
and tell them that you really don't care for the wine that they bring
and feel hurt that your feelings are of so little consequence to them
that they persist in bringing it. That approach runs the risk of
seriously offending them, however, if they honestly like the stuff that
they bring and feel that you're criticizing their taste. The second
approach is to always make sure that you have another bottle open, open
their bottle and allow people to choose which wine to drink. Your
friends, if they have any sensitivity at all, will note that you don't
drink their wine and will either change what they bring or perhaps enter
into a discussion about why you don't like their wine.

Keep in mind that there is no such thing as an absolute measure of wine
"quality." Instead, there are many different tastes in wine and one
person's favorite wine may be another person's anathema. It is true
that some wines are seriously flawed, but even so some people may like
them and even prefer them to well-made wines. Additionally, some people
subscribe to the idea that anyone who prefers a $10 bottle of wine to an
Arbor Mist Strawberry Merlot is a hopeless "wine snob" in desperate need
of ridicule and abuse. Hopefully, that isn't your friend and his gf.

Mark Lipton
--
alt.food.wine FAQ: http://winefaq.cwdjr.net

On Apr 23, 10:16�am, jkcninja >
wrote:
> Opinions please:
>
> I love entertaining. I love cooking for friends and it's fair to say
> that I'm know in my circle for being a good cook. Also, I am really
> into wine and everyone also knows that I take wine pretty seriously -
> making sure that what I serve is a decent bottle.
>
> One couple, my best friend and his gf regularly bring the cheapest,
> nastiest mini-market plonk to dinner parties or get togethers. It's now
> becoming a joke - I spend time and a lot of effort cooking for them,
> sourcing good quality produce and they bless my home with cheap rubbish
> that I wouldn't even feed my dog.
>
> What should I do? It's got the point that when they bring their own
> stuff round they EXPECT to drink it even if I've got a nice bottle
> already opened!!
>
> It find it so insulting but don't know what to do.
>
> HELP!
>
> --
> jkcninja

I have this happen a lot. I usually very tactfully direct them to a
wine store and say something to the effect that..."if you stop at XYZ
wine store, the owner Jim is really knowledgable and can probably find
you a much better wine for about the same price". If that doesn't
work, I usually just tell them that I find their wines offensive and
that they makeme sick or give me a headache or both.

Bi!! wrote:
> On Apr 23, 10:16�am, jkcninja >
> wrote:
>> Opinions please:
>>
>> I love entertaining. I love cooking for friends and it's fair to say
>> that I'm know in my circle for being a good cook. Also, I am really
>> into wine and everyone also knows that I take wine pretty seriously -
>> making sure that what I serve is a decent bottle.
>>
>> One couple, my best friend and his gf regularly bring the cheapest,
>> nastiest mini-market plonk to dinner parties or get togethers. It's now
>> becoming a joke - I spend time and a lot of effort cooking for them,
>> sourcing good quality produce and they bless my home with cheap rubbish
>> that I wouldn't even feed my dog.
>>
>> What should I do? It's got the point that when they bring their own
>> stuff round they EXPECT to drink it even if I've got a nice bottle
>> already opened!!
>>
>> It find it so insulting but don't know what to do.
>>
>> HELP!
>>
>> --
>> jkcninja
>
> I have this happen a lot. I usually very tactfully direct them to a
> wine store and say something to the effect that..."if you stop at XYZ
> wine store, the owner Jim is really knowledgable and can probably find
> you a much better wine for about the same price". If that doesn't
> work, I usually just tell them that I find their wines offensive and
> that they makeme sick or give me a headache or both.

Or....don't invite them anymore..

"jkcninja" wrote ..........
>
> I love entertaining. I love cooking for friends and it's fair to say
> that I'm know in my circle for being a good cook. Also, I am really
> into wine and everyone also knows that I take wine pretty seriously -
> making sure that what I serve is a decent bottle.
>
> One couple, my best friend and his gf regularly bring the cheapest,
> nastiest mini-market plonk to dinner parties or get togethers. It's now
> becoming a joke - I spend time and a lot of effort cooking for them,
> sourcing good quality produce and they bless my home with cheap rubbish
> that I wouldn't even feed my dog.
>

I believe there is a simple solution - which is guaranteed not to
ffend - and may even educate.

You say that you love cooking, and these are good friends - right?

Well, invite them and four others (eight in total) to a special evening
where you will not only prepare four small dishes - but will also choose
some excellent wines to accompany.

Specify - NO WINES PLEASE!

For your meal, prepare four small courses -

May I suggest something like (depending on what is available fresh,
locally -

(1) A simple (small) lobster salad - with either a Chablis or NZ
Sauvignon Blanc
(2) Sliced chicken breast, with a peach/apricot sauce - served with a
white burgundy or cal chardonnay
(3) A beef dish with either of red burgundy or new world pinot noir
(4) A cheese dish with a nice Sauternes or botrytised Australian Semillon



You will get one reasonable sized glass of wine per person per dish; this
will allow you to experiment in advance to find some nice wine/food matches,
and maybe preserve your friendship.

If this fails - dump them!!!!!

st.helier

jkcninja wrote:
> Opinions please:
>
> I love entertaining. I love cooking for friends and it's fair to say
> that I'm know in my circle for being a good cook. Also, I am really
> into wine and everyone also knows that I take wine pretty seriously -
> making sure that what I serve is a decent bottle.
>
> One couple, my best friend and his gf regularly bring the cheapest,
> nastiest mini-market plonk to dinner parties or get togethers. It's now
> becoming a joke - I spend time and a lot of effort cooking for them,
> sourcing good quality produce and they bless my home with cheap rubbish
> that I wouldn't even feed my dog.
>
> What should I do? It's got the point that when they bring their own
> stuff round they EXPECT to drink it even if I've got a nice bottle
> already opened!!
>
> It find it so insulting but don't know what to do.
>

Here's my take. First, it's not really insulting because it's not
intentional. (Most times, anyway. I don't know about your friend).
Most people just don't care or think much about wine, they know you
like it, so they grab a bottle of whatever.

I just take the wine, thank them for it, and stick it on the rack.
If necessary I explain that I appreciate the gift but I planned the
wine and food to go together. If they say something stupid like
"I really wanted to try that," I say "sure" and let them drink it;
the other guests get whatever I had planned. If they are so boorish
as to push their wine on other people ("This is really great, check
it out") after the earlier explanations, they certainly don't get
another invite.

Another problem is when a guest eyes the open magnum of something
great (for dinner) on the sideboard and says "I'll have a glass
of that" for the aperatif. It's difficult to say "That's for
dinner" without sounding miserly, and if you let them have it
they sometimes pound down very expensive juice with no appreciation
whatsoever. In this situation I also now go with the "special match"
explanation even though I don't find it the most polite solution.

-E

Not inviting them isn't an option - he's my best friend, best man at my wedding and she's my gf's best friend! But nice to see people thinking laterally...!

For me it's not about price but about the thought. They will come round with the same bottle of Gallo Rose bought from my local mini-market every time. They're thought process is clearly - I like this wine so I'll take it - not lets take some wine as a gift that we may/may not drink and spend a bit of time thinking about what to get. I'm not at all fussed about money - my everyday drinking wine is never more than about £8 and I regularly get better wines at £6 than I do at £10. I also agree about taste. One man's Lafite may be another man's Gallo - but I also think there is a minimum level of quality in wine.

Anyway, I think I prefer option 1 - make sure some bottles are open when they get here so they get the drift, and carefully put theirs to one side.

"jkcninja" > wrote in message
...
>
> responder;1307942 Wrote:
>> Bi!! wrote:-
>> On Apr 23, 10:16�am, jkcninja
>>
>> wrote:-
>> Opinions please:
>>
>> I love entertaining. I love cooking for friends and it's fair to say
>> that I'm know in my circle for being a good cook. Also, I am really
>> into wine and everyone also knows that I take wine pretty seriously -
>> making sure that what I serve is a decent bottle.
>>
>> One couple, my best friend and his gf regularly bring the cheapest,
>> nastiest mini-market plonk to dinner parties or get togethers. It's
>> now
>> becoming a joke - I spend time and a lot of effort cooking for them,
>> sourcing good quality produce and they bless my home with cheap
>> rubbish
>> that I wouldn't even feed my dog.
>>
>> What should I do? It's got the point that when they bring their own
>> stuff round they EXPECT to drink it even if I've got a nice bottle
>> already opened!!
>>
>> It find it so insulting but don't know what to do.
>>
>> HELP!
>>
>> --
>> jkcninja-
>>
>> I have this happen a lot. I usually very tactfully direct them to a
>> wine store and say something to the effect that..."if you stop at XYZ
>> wine store, the owner Jim is really knowledgable and can probably
>> find
>> you a much better wine for about the same price". If that doesn't
>> work, I usually just tell them that I find their wines offensive and
>> that they makeme sick or give me a headache or both.-
>>
>> Or....don't invite them anymore..
>
>
> Not inviting them isn't an option - he's my best friend, best man at my
> wedding and she's my gf's best friend! But nice to see people thinking
> laterally...!
>
> For me it's not about price but about the thought. They will come round
> with the same bottle of Gallo Rose bought from my local mini-market
> every time. They're thought process is clearly - I like this wine so
> I'll take it - not lets take some wine as a gift that we may/may not
> drink and spend a bit of time thinking about what to get. I'm not at
> all fussed about money - my everyday drinking wine is never more than
> about £8 and I regularly get better wines at £6 than I do at £10. I
> also agree about taste. One man's Lafite may be another man's Gallo -
> but I also think there is a minimum level of quality in wine.
>
> Anyway, I think I prefer option 1 - make sure some bottles are open
> when they get here so they get the drift, and carefully put theirs to
> one side.
>

And, as Monty Python said: "This is one for laying down - and forgetting
about!"

This is a communication problem as much as anything else.
Your friend is obviously clueless about wine, and will remain so
unless educated.

Education could be as elaborate as st heliers suggestion, as off the
cuff as "I'll put this away as I don't have anything that needs
marinating tonight" or simply face it and open a different bottle for
yourself and let them drink what they brought. Heck, get a case of
their wine so they can have it whenever they come over.

People have different priorities. I love single malts. I actually had
a guest ask for one when I was pouring drinks and he asked if I hade
any Coke he could mix it with. He was astounded when I not ony refused
is request but thereafter refused to give him anything but cheap bar
blend scotch as he obviously wasn't into single malts. He thought I
was a snob. I agreed with him, on that point. If your friends don't
want to be converted after being offered the chance, leave them alone
to drink what they like.

This is a communication problem as much as anything else.
Your friend is obviously clueless about wine, and will remain so
unless educated.

Education could be as elaborate as st heliers suggestion, as off the
cuff as "I'll put this away as I don't have anything that needs
marinating tonight" or simply face it and open a different bottle for
yourself and let them drink what they brought. Heck, get a case of
their wine so they can have it whenever they come over.

People have different priorities. I love single malts. I actually had
a guest ask for one when I was pouring drinks and he asked if I hade
any Coke he could mix it with. He was astounded when I not ony refused
is request but thereafter refused to give him anything but cheap bar
blend scotch as he obviously wasn't into single malts. He thought I
was a snob. I agreed with him, on that point. If your friends don't
want to be converted after being offered the chance, leave them alone
to drink what they like.

This is a communication problem as much as anything else.
Your friend is obviously clueless about wine, and will remain so
unless educated.

Education could be as elaborate as st heliers suggestion, as off the
cuff as "I'll put this away as I don't have anything that needs
marinating tonight" or simply face it and open a different bottle for
yourself and let them drink what they brought. Heck, get a case of
their wine so they can have it whenever they come over.

People have different priorities. I love single malts. I actually had
a guest ask for one when I was pouring drinks and he asked if I hade
any Coke he could mix it with. He was astounded when I not ony refused
is request but thereafter refused to give him anything but cheap bar
blend scotch as he obviously wasn't into single malts. He thought I
was a snob. I agreed with him, on that point. If your friends don't
want to be converted after being offered the chance, leave them alone
to drink what they like.

Oops - sorry, stuttering computer?

So thanks for the comments! What I have decided to do is say to them not to bring any wine and only as a gift. Then I am going to serve some Rose from my local vintners as the weather here in London this evening is lovely. Hopefully that will arouse their interest that there is more to life than Gallo. Also, hopefully by refusing their offer to bring wine I'm subtley saying 'your wine choice is no good, I'd rather pay to provide it all myself'

Lets see if that has any effect!

On Apr 24, 3:51*am, jkcninja >
wrote:
> responder;1307942 Wrote:
>
>
>
> > Bi!! wrote:-
> > On Apr 23, 10:16�am, jkcninja
> >
> > wrote:-
> > Opinions please:
>
> > I love entertaining. I love cooking for friends and it's fair to say
> > that I'm know in my circle for being a good cook. Also, I am really
> > into wine and everyone also knows that I take wine pretty seriously -
> > making sure that what I serve is a decent bottle.
>
> > One couple, my best friend and his gf regularly bring the cheapest,
> > nastiest mini-market plonk to dinner parties or get togethers. It's
> > now
> > becoming a joke - I spend time and a lot of effort cooking for them,
> > sourcing good quality produce and they bless my home with cheap
> > rubbish
> > that I wouldn't even feed my dog.
>
> > What should I do? It's got the point that when they bring their own
> > stuff round they EXPECT to drink it even if I've got a nice bottle
> > already opened!!
>
> > It find it so insulting but don't know what to do.
>
> > HELP!
>
> > --
> > jkcninja-
>
> > I have this happen a lot. *I usually very tactfully direct them to a
> > wine store and say something to the effect that..."if you stop at XYZ
> > wine store, the owner Jim is really knowledgable and can probably
> > find
> > you a much better wine for about the same price". If that doesn't
> > work, I usually just tell them that I find their wines offensive and
> > that they makeme sick or give me a headache or both.-
>
> > Or....don't invite them anymore..
>
> Not inviting them isn't an option - he's my best friend, best man at my
> wedding and she's my gf's best friend! But nice to see people thinking
> laterally...!
>
> For me it's not about price but about the thought. They will come round
> with the same bottle of Gallo Rose bought from my local mini-market
> every time. They're thought process is clearly - I like this wine so
> I'll take it - not lets take some wine as a gift that we may/may not
> drink and spend a bit of time thinking about what to get. I'm not at
> all fussed about money - my everyday drinking wine is never more than
> about £8 and I regularly get better wines at £6 than I do at £10. I
> also agree about taste. One man's Lafite may be another man's Gallo -
> but I also think there is a minimum level of quality in wine.
>
> Anyway, I think I prefer option 1 - make sure some bottles are open
> when they get here so they get the drift, and carefully put theirs to
> one side.
>
> --
> jkcninja

JUst open more bottles. If they want to drink it, fine. You don't need
to. No reason to be confrontational or insulted.

oh ...dont invite them anymore lol

"jkcninja" > wrote in message
...
>
> jkcninja;1307602 Wrote:
>> Opinions please:
>>
>> I love entertaining. I love cooking for friends and it's fair to say
>> that I'm know in my circle for being a good cook. Also, I am really
>> into wine and everyone also knows that I take wine pretty seriously -
>> making sure that what I serve is a decent bottle.
>>
>> One couple, my best friend and his gf regularly bring the cheapest,
>> nastiest mini-market plonk to dinner parties or get togethers. It's now
>> becoming a joke - I spend time and a lot of effort cooking for them,
>> sourcing good quality produce and they bless my home with cheap rubbish
>> that I wouldn't even feed my dog.
>>
>> What should I do? It's got the point that when they bring their own
>> stuff round they EXPECT to drink it even if I've got a nice bottle
>> already opened!!
>>
>> It find it so insulting but don't know what to do.
>>
>> HELP!
>
>
> So thanks for the comments! What I have decided to do is say to them
> not to bring any wine and only as a gift. Then I am going to serve some
> Rose from my local vintners as the weather here in London this evening
> is lovely. Hopefully that will arouse their interest that there is more
> to life than Gallo. Also, hopefully by refusing their offer to bring
> wine I'm subtley saying 'your wine choice is no good, I'd rather pay to
> provide it all myself'
>
> Lets see if that has any effect!
>

Have you tried this yet? How did it go?

Sharon

In article >,
jkcninja > wrote:

> jkcninja;1307602 Wrote:
> > Opinions please:
> >
> > I love entertaining. I love cooking for friends and it's fair to say
> > that I'm know in my circle for being a good cook. Also, I am really
> > into wine and everyone also knows that I take wine pretty seriously -
> > making sure that what I serve is a decent bottle.
> >
> > One couple, my best friend and his gf regularly bring the cheapest,
> > nastiest mini-market plonk to dinner parties or get togethers. It's now
> > becoming a joke - I spend time and a lot of effort cooking for them,
> > sourcing good quality produce and they bless my home with cheap rubbish
> > that I wouldn't even feed my dog.
> >
> > What should I do? It's got the point that when they bring their own
> > stuff round they EXPECT to drink it even if I've got a nice bottle
> > already opened!!
> >
> > It find it so insulting but don't know what to do.
> >
> > HELP!
>
>
> So thanks for the comments! What I have decided to do is say to them
> not to bring any wine and only as a gift. Then I am going to serve some
> Rose from my local vintners as the weather here in London this evening
> is lovely. Hopefully that will arouse their interest that there is more
> to life than Gallo. Also, hopefully by refusing their offer to bring
> wine I'm subtley saying 'your wine choice is no good, I'd rather pay to
> provide it all myself'
>
> Lets see if that has any effect!

*
When I invite friends to my home for dinner, I would *never* serve the
wines that they might bring. "I'll put this in the cellar", I tell
them. I select the dinner wines.

When I visit a friend for dinner, I always take a bottle of wine with
me. Sometimes I take a red and a white. I say, "This is for your
cellar."

I would never take a chilled bottle of white wine -- that's like saying,
"You can open this now."

earle
(grape nut)
*

I have been lurking here for sometime but couldn't stay out of this one.
First, when I take a bottle of wine to a dinner, I never expect it to be
served right then. I figure there is a wine already chilled. I would thank
them and maybe be rude and regift it to them on a holiday! I know, I know
that wouldn't be right!

"jkcninja" > wrote in message
...
>
> Opinions please:
>
> I love entertaining. I love cooking for friends and it's fair to say
> that I'm know in my circle for being a good cook. Also, I am really
> into wine and everyone also knows that I take wine pretty seriously -
> making sure that what I serve is a decent bottle.
>
> One couple, my best friend and his gf regularly bring the cheapest,
> nastiest mini-market plonk to dinner parties or get togethers. It's now
> becoming a joke - I spend time and a lot of effort cooking for them,
> sourcing good quality produce and they bless my home with cheap rubbish
> that I wouldn't even feed my dog.
>
> What should I do? It's got the point that when they bring their own
> stuff round they EXPECT to drink it even if I've got a nice bottle
> already opened!!
>
> It find it so insulting but don't know what to do.
>
> HELP!
>
>
>
>
> --
> jkcninja

Open his bottle for him and make him happy. I can't see a problem with
that.
Dee Dee


"Granby" > wrote in message
...
>I have been lurking here for sometime but couldn't stay out of this one.
>First, when I take a bottle of wine to a dinner, I never expect it to be
>served right then. I figure there is a wine already chilled. I would
>thank them and maybe be rude and regift it to them on a holiday! I know, I
>know that wouldn't be right!
>
> "jkcninja" > wrote in message
> ...
>>
>> Opinions please:
>>
>> I love entertaining. I love cooking for friends and it's fair to say
>> that I'm know in my circle for being a good cook. Also, I am really
>> into wine and everyone also knows that I take wine pretty seriously -
>> making sure that what I serve is a decent bottle.
>>
>> One couple, my best friend and his gf regularly bring the cheapest,
>> nastiest mini-market plonk to dinner parties or get togethers. It's now
>> becoming a joke - I spend time and a lot of effort cooking for them,
>> sourcing good quality produce and they bless my home with cheap rubbish
>> that I wouldn't even feed my dog.
>>
>> What should I do? It's got the point that when they bring their own
>> stuff round they EXPECT to drink it even if I've got a nice bottle
>> already opened!!
>>
>> It find it so insulting but don't know what to do.
>>
>> HELP!
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> --
>> jkcninja
>
>